blossom
by ms-ambrosia
Summary: Isolated and disheartened, Bella Swan finally starts to feel like she belongs when a young man named James enters her life. But when an unexpected pregnancy leads her back to Forks, she finds that hope blooms in unexpected places. OOC. ExB. AH.
1. Oh, She's Only 17

Though this isn't my first attempt at writing a multi-chaptered story, it is the first I've had the courage to post. Please be kind! Much thanks to lislar and jenidig for beta services, to brandy_d and eviekinz for pre-reading. You ladies rock!

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but she's nice enough to let me borrow her characters for a little while. :)

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Chapter 1: Oh, She's Only Seventeen**

Bella stood at her locker, shoving books in and gathering the things she needed to take home for the weekend. She didn't have any homework, but she wanted to get a head start on some reading for her literature class. She tucked her battered copy of _The Crucible_ into her messenger bag and slammed the locker shut.

"Have a good weekend, Bella."

"See you on Monday!"

Bella waved to her two classmates as they continued towards the exit, giggling with one another. The two girls, Laura and Cathy, had invited her over on Saturday to watch the movie version of _The Crucible_, but she had politely declined. Though she might have enjoyed an afternoon of watching movies, eating popcorn, and gossiping with the two, her mother would be home this weekend and she was anxious to see her.

Renee was supposed to have only been away for three days, but somehow the trip had been extended to ten. She'd gone to Jacksonville again to visit her boyfriend. He'd been gone for several months and Bella had assumed that by now Renee would have moved on to someone new. Her mother wasn't the type to stay in relationships for long, and Bella was shocked that this one had lasted as long as it had, especially with Renee's latest boy toy moving halfway across the country.

Bella took her time walking home, getting lost in her daydreams. When she arrived at the small rental house she shared with her mother, she was shocked to see Renee's beat-up old Toyota Corolla already in the driveway. Her mother wasn't supposed to be home until later tonight. Walking into the house, she felt immediately on edge as she noticed stacks of brown cardboard boxes piled up in the foyer. As she entered the living room, she saw Renee standing near the large curio cabinet, wrapping her porcelain knickknacks in newspaper and placing them into an open box.

"Mom?" Bella questioned, trepidation evident in her voice.

"Oh, Bella! Good, you're home. I've already put some empty boxes up in your room."

"Mom, what are you…what's going on?" Even as she said the words, Bella knew exactly what was happening.

"We're moving! Aren't you excited? Oh, baby, you're going to love Jacksonville. It's so sunny and I already found us this cute little apartment…"

Bella didn't wait for her mother to finish. She bolted straight for her room, slamming the door loudly. She fell down onto her bed just as the tears that had pooled into her eyes began to slide down her cheeks. She was so sick of all of this, sick of being a tag-along to all of Renee's whims and desires. She'd finally gotten comfortable in Phoenix, but just like always, she was being uprooted before she'd had a chance to bloom. All that mattered was what Renee wanted; she never even considered Bella's wants or feelings when she made huge life decisions. After all, Renee was the adult and she was the child. And doesn't mother always know best?

~ o ~

Renee continued to pack boxes for the move, even as she heard the sobs coming from the bedroom of her only daughter. It was just like Bella to get overly emotional about something as silly as a little move. Renee couldn't even understand why she was so upset. This wasn't their first move together, nor was it the first move Renee had made for a man. Renee tried to count up the number of times she and Bella had moved to a new city, but stopped counting when the number reached double digits. Their first move, of course, had been to leave wet and dreary Forks, Washington behind. She escaped in the dead of the night with two-year-old Bella in tow, leaving a distraught Charlie Swan to pick up the pieces of what had been their life together.

This move was different, though. This time, they were moving so that Renee could be with the love of her life, the much younger Phil Dwyer. Phil was a minor league baseball player and he had been traded to a team in Jacksonville during the off-season. Renee had made a few trips to Florida to visit, but she'd found it hard to gather the strength to leave Phil and return to Phoenix.

Deep down, Renee knew that she should feel guilty for uprooting her 17-year-old daughter for the companionship of a man, but she just couldn't find it in herself to care. She was essentially a selfish creature; having a child didn't change that. Truth be told, the only reason that she had taken Bella when she fled Forks was because of the guarantee of child support. No matter what happened between them, Charlie would never wish to see his daughter go without, and Renee had needed that money to start their new life, to get them settled until she could find a job.

~ o ~

The move to Jacksonville had been a torturous affair. The "cute little apartment" Renee had rented was definitely little, though nothing about it could be even remotely considered cute. The kitchen was grimy, with torn linoleum, outdated green appliances, and dreary yellow cabinets with peeling paint. There were two very small bedrooms, though Bella was convinced hers was actually meant to be a small office or walk-in closet. She only had room for a twin-sized bed, a small dresser, and one of her bookcases. Some of her furniture had to be put into storage, but a few things, like her desk, could be placed in the living room.

Bella tried to find the good in the situation, but it seemed as if there was none to be found. Her new school was horrible. She just didn't fit in with the girls there, the ones with bleached blonde hair and tanned skin. Sure, she didn't really fit in at her school in Phoenix either, but at least the kids there knew her. She and Renee had lived in Phoenix for several years, longer than they had ever stayed in one place. Bella had honestly thought she could survive there until college, until it would be her choice to leave.

Disappointment colored Bella's outlook, as she was once again hurt by the choices her mother had made. She thought Renee had finally grown up, given up her need to chase men all over the country. It wasn't that Phil wasn't a nice guy; he definitely was. But Bella knew that he was just another knot in a long string of men that Renee had changed her whole life for. Bella thought back to the times that Renee had colored her hair, changed how she dressed, taken up new activities, or simply just pretended to be someone she was not. Renee would do anything to please a man, anything to be with her flavor of the month, though she always insisted that the man in question was her "one true love."

Bella had been subjected to one too many "uncles" in her young life and Renee seemed oblivious to the effect this had on her daughter. Though she barely knew her father, Bella found herself missing him more than she ever had. Visits with Charlie were few and far between, but Bella always looked forward to them. Her father was a quiet man, but time spent with him was comfortable and warm, like a favorite flannel shirt. Charlie wasn't one to vocalize how he felt, but his actions spoke louder than any words ever could. He sent cards for every holiday, called to check-in often, and, unlike Renee, never forgot a birthday. He had also never introduced Bella to any so-called "aunts."

Bella briefly considered hopping on the next flight to Seattle, leaving the sun of Jacksonville for the rain of Forks. She'd never really given much thought to living with her father, but she surmised that it couldn't be worse than this. Of course, she knew that Renee would pitch a fit if she knew the thought have even crossed Bella's mind. She would just have to tough things out, find a way to overcome being the social pariah at her new school. If only she hadn't had to transfer mid-semester, when all of the students had already made friends and settled into routines, then maybe things would have been different.

It wasn't as if Bella had a lot of friends that she had left behind in Phoenix. She simply missed the comfort and serenity the place afforded her. The students there at least knew her name, accepted her for who she was. She had people to chat with in class, to ask for help with her homework, or to sit with and enjoy lunch in the cafeteria. The students at her new school simply avoided her. No one offered to show her to her classes on the first day, to help her get caught up on the lessons she had missed, or asked her to sit with them at their table in the cafeteria. She spent much of her first weeks wandering through the hallways, confused and clutching the school map to her chest. Lunch hours were endured by hiding in a deserted bathroom or the library. There no one would stare at her and make her feel uncomfortable, like she was unworthy of their presence. She didn't even have a lab partner in biology! It was a miserable existence and she wondered how she would survive until summer.

Renee, meanwhile, had completely immersed herself in Phil and his life. She spent all of her time going to his games, making friendly with the team wives, or staying with him at his apartment. She would try to call Bella daily to check on her, but sometimes days would pass before they actually laid eyes on one another. Renee didn't spend much time in their small apartment, preferring to be alone with Phil at his place. Bella didn't know if her mother didn't realize how depressed she was or if she simply didn't care.

~ o ~

Though time seemed to pass on slowly, Bella eventually made it through the spring. When summer vacation finally rolled around, she was utterly exhausted. She hadn't realized how hard keeping up a façade of happiness would be. With nothing but free time on the horizon, she planned to spend her days reading and relaxing, immersing herself in the worlds of her favorite books. Even if her own life left something to be desired, at least she could pretend for a little while that things were better. She hoped that the summer would help rejuvenate her broken spirit. Maybe she could even spend some time with Renee, time that might make headway into healing their fractured relationship.

Bella's plan, however, did not take into account the flighty nature of her mother. Renee had plans of her own, plans that centered around Phil. She wanted to take time to go to the ballpark and see more games, to travel with the team on road trips. Because of her job as a kindergarten aide at the local elementary school, she hadn't gotten to spend nearly as much time at the field as she would have liked.

Only a week after Bella's summer vacation began, Renee was boarding a charter bus with Phil and his team for a lengthy road trip. Renee thought that time on the road would be good for her relationship with Phil, especially without Bella around. In her own way, Renee loved her daughter, but Phil didn't want children. She knew that if Bella had been younger and unable to take care of herself, she and Phil would have never had a chance. If they could just make it through the next year, they would be alone, as Bella would be off to college and living in the dormitories.

~ o ~

Bella spent the duration of the month of May reading and lounging around the apartment. It was almost as if she lived alone, as Renee only stumbled through between road trips, to pick up clean clothes or drop off dirty laundry. While Bella didn't have the responsibility of earning money, she still had to make sure that things were in order and that the bills were paid. For years, she had been the one responsible for making sure the water and electricity stayed on, that there were groceries in the cupboard, that dinner was cooked, and their clothing was laundered. Even though she felt a bit of hostility and contempt towards her mother, she still made sure that she washed Renee's clothes and put them away. Half of the time, bunches of Phil's dirty goods also seemed to make it into the pile, but Bella washed those as well. She felt more like a laundry service than a daughter.

Once the bills were paid and a small amount of groceries were purchased, there was little money left over for Bella to buy anything extra or to have fun with. She couldn't take advantage of any of the sights and sounds of the city. Though she was more of a homebody, she would have at least enjoyed being able to go to a park or a museum, to spend time at the beach, maybe even experience some of the more touristy spots Jacksonville had to offer. Realizing that she was simply squandering away her time when she could be doing something to change her circumstances, she set out to find a job. She applied at a bookstore, which was her top choice, the restaurants near her home, as well as any place that seemed to be hiring at the nearest mall. As her luck would have it, after several weeks of waiting, none of her top choices had called back and she was forced to take a job at a local ice cream shop. With no work experience, she wasn't surprised by the crappy, seasonal job she'd ended up with, but she had hoped for something that didn't have anything to do with food.

Work at the ice cream shop was tiring and repetitive. The small building only housed the kitchen, a freezer, a storage closet, and a pair of restrooms. The windows stayed open in hopes of coaxing in a gentle breeze. All of the tables for customers were outside, scattered on the patio that surrounded the small ice cream shack. Some were simply regular picnic tables, but a few had large umbrellas to shield patrons from the blistering sun. Bella spent her days scooping ice cream, blending milkshakes, and trying to stay cool in the sweltering heat.

Many of the customers at the ice cream shop were kids Bella recognized from her school. She was jealous of them, as they sat together laughing and eating ice cream. Bella wished she could be one of them, but she knew they only saw her as the girl that took their order. No one ever noticed her, went out of their way to speak to her, or remembered that she was a student at their school. She wondered why she was so invisible and if anyone would ever notice the pale, brown-haired girl that simply wanted to fit in.

On one particularly hot day, Bella was behind the pick-up window, wiping up the remnants of the sticky ice cream someone had let drip all over the counter.

"Hey, you're the new girl," a husky male voice called out.

Bella looked up to see a handsome young man staring at her. He had dirty blonde hair, a deep tan, twinkling blue eyes, and the whitest teeth she had ever seen. She stared at him with wide eyes.

"At school…you went to my school, right?"

Bella closed her eyes briefly before looking at the boy again. Of course, she knew who he was. His name was James and he had been a senior at her high school. Though she tried to remain oblivious, there were certain students at her school that stood out and he was one of them. Aside from being the son of a well-known politician, he had been an honor student, was captain of the baseball team, and she thought she'd heard gossip in the hallways that he'd been accepted to several Ivy League institutions. She assumed he would be heading off to college in the fall and she wondered why he was taking time out to talk to her. Surely there was someone much prettier, smarter, and more outgoing that he should be spending his time talking to.

It wasn't that Bella thought she was ugly, but more that she simply wasn't beautiful. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, the words plain and boring were the only things that came to mind. She had long brown hair that fell around her shoulders in waves, a deep contrast to her pale porcelain skin. Her face was adorned with deep chocolate eyes, a small nose, and bow-shaped lips. She was a petite girl, thin but curvy. Maybe she was at least pretty. Bella was broken away from her internal assessment of her appearance when she heard James clear his throat.

"Yeah, I went to Bishop," Bella shyly replied.

"Cool," he said as he stuck out his hand. "I'm James, by the way."

"Bella," she whispered, as she placed her tiny, sticky hand into his.

"Well, Bella, it was nice to officially meet you. I'm sure I'll see you around."

He grabbed his milkshake from the counter and sauntered off, walking towards a shiny new pickup truck. Bella continued to stare at his retreating form, still unsure if their conversation had actually happened. When he arrived at his truck, James turned and winked at her. Bella blushed furiously, not used to being paid attention to by teenage boys, especially not boys as handsome as James. Technically, she'd never even really been kissed, unless she counted the time she was twelve and a boy on the playground tried to shove his tongue down her throat, an unpleasant experience she'd definitely like to forget.

~ o ~

Since introducing himself, James started to make more frequent appearances at the ice cream shop. Though Bella didn't want to get her hopes up or assume that his visits were to see her, she was happy when James would appear at the window, asking her for ice cream suggestions and making sure she prepared his order. He also always left a nice tip in the jar on the counter. She paid careful attention to the people he spoke with, trying to figure out if any of the girls that hung around were his girlfriend, but he only spoke briefly to those milling about and he always arrived and left alone.

On a particularly sticky July afternoon, Bella sat at one of the umbrella-covered picnic tables, sipping on a soda and reading one of her favorite novels. She was finished with her shift, but it would be an hour before the city bus would swing by. She lived close enough that she could have walked, but after a grueling shift, she wasn't feeling particularly motivated. Her hair was plastered to her forehead, a combination of the heat and the stupid hat she was forced to wear. The small apron that was provided did nothing to protect her clothing and her t-shirt was riddled with stains. She was sweaty and sticky, the latter the result of a run-in with a particularly evil milkshake machine. Too immersed in cataloging her disgusting appearance, she hadn't noticed that someone had sat down at the table with her. She was startled when she looked up and saw James, smiling at her like she was made of sunshine.

They stared at one another for several moments, until James finally broke the silence, making a crack about the book Bella was reading. She giggled and held the much abused paperback close to her chest, her stomach alight with nervous energy. With the awkwardness broken, conversation soon moved along, the two making small talk and gaining insight into one another's lives. Bella learned that, quite opposite as to what she expected, James would not be attending college in the fall.

"I just don't know what I want to do with my life. My parents are pressuring me to go pre-law and follow in my father's footsteps, but sometimes I think I just want to load up my truck with all of my stuff and hit the road. My dad pulled some strings to get my admission deferred, but I'm hoping the time off will help me figure out some other way. I don't know if college is really my thing."

"That must be tough, but at least your parents have expectations of you. My dad's not around, and my mom…she just doesn't really care."

"At least you have a couple of years left to figure that stuff out."

"Actually," Bella mused, "I don't. I'll be a senior this year. And I'll be eighteen next month."

"We will definitely have to celebrate that occasion," James said, his eyes alight with mischief.

Conversation between the two continued at a leisurely pace, with little to no awkward silence. Bella was surprised to find that she and James had several things in common, including a mutual love of reading, though she preferred classic literature to his obsession with all things science fiction. Their family lives couldn't have been more different, however. James was from a wealthy family and lived in an upscale neighborhood in a large, brick home. He had fought with his family to attend a public school, rather than being sent off to boarding school like his brother. He'd spent his whole life in Jacksonville, but he longed to see the world. He loved to surf and spent as much time at the beach as possible. He offered to teach Bella how to surf, but she declined due to her clumsy nature. He laughed at that and told her maybe she could try body boarding instead.

They continued to talk until Bella looked up and realized that she'd missed her bus completely. The parking lot of the ice cream shop was practically deserted and the kids that usually hung around were all gone. A check of her watch confirmed her suspicions; they'd been sitting there talking for nearly two hours. Bella knew she should be getting home, especially since Renee was supposed to be dropping by later in the evening. When James offered to walk her to her car, she was embarrassed to tell him that she'd missed her bus. Instead, she told him she had walked and when he offered to give her a ride, she accepted.

The drive to her house was a short ride spent in silence. She wasn't sure what to say and she struggled to keep from fidgeting. She kept her eyes trained on her sneakers, trying to avoid the urge she had to just stare unabashedly at James. When they pulled up to her house, she thanked him for the ride, but continued to sit in the cab of the truck. James was staring at her like she was something to eat, something that made her both nervous and excited. When he leaned towards her, staring at her lips, she flinched and backed away. He looked at her, his eyes awash with confusion.

"I'm sorry. I just…it was really hot today and I've been working. I probably smell bad," she nervously rattled on.

"Bella, I think you smell like vanilla ice cream and maraschino cherries…and those are two of my very favorite things."

Bella blushed at the compliment, and when he leaned in again to kiss her, this time she let him.

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**A/N:** Just stick with me here. Things will be a little rough for a bit, but I promise that this is a Bella and Edward story. Time will jump around for the first few chapters, but will slow down once we reach a certain point. Chapters may also get longer as we progress.

I have to give a huge shout-out to the talented lislar. She lets me annoy her with multiple e-mails each day, harassing her with each and every silly thought that runs through my head. She's helped me map out my story, fine tune my characters, and really define the story I want to tell. She's awesome! Definitely check out both of her stories, The Innocent Heart of Darkness and Second Chances.

Other stories that make me drop everything and read are The Cannabean Betrothal and A Rough Start by ItzMegan73, The University of Edward Masen by SebastianRobichaud, and Relative Wind by Mac214.


	2. August & Everything After

Disclaimer: I might not own Twilight, but this plot is definitely mine.

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Chapter 2: August & Everything After**

Bella giggled loudly as the wind whipped through her hair. It was a beautiful August day and the park was filled with people. The air was permeated with the sounds of children laughing and playing, running through the billowing grass as they enjoyed the last days of summer. Vacation was nearly over; most schools in the city would resume classes within the next week. James stood behind Bella, pushing her in the swing, and smiling brightly at her childish shrieks of joy. A wide grin stretched across her face, her cheeks were flushed, and her nose was tinged pink from the hot summer sun.

It was a rare day off from the ice cream shop for Bella and she'd chosen to spend it with James. She'd been working feverishly these past few weeks, knowing her hours would decrease significantly once classes started back. She'd only be able to work on the weekends when that occurred. Her job would completely disappear in a couple of months, once the summer season was officially over.

Bella had saved most of the money she'd earned through her summer job. Though she vehemently protested, James rarely allowed her to pay for anything when they were out together. He insisted that she save her earnings, arguing that it made more sense for him to pay for things. His family was from "old money" and he'd gained access to a portion of his trust fund when he turned eighteen.

Given this opportunity, Bella squirreled her money away, hiding it in an old tube sock that she kept buried deep within her closet. The amount was meager, but anything would be helpful next fall when she entered college. She knew that Renee had no money saved and no imminent plans to help pay her college tuition. Charlie had been attempting to save some cash as Bella had gotten older, but a police chief's salary in a small town wasn't much to work with. He had recently spent a large chunk of what he'd saved on a new roof and gutters for his modest home. She knew he felt guilty about this, but she never expected to put her needs before his own. She'd learned that lesson from Renee.

Excitement coursed through Bella's veins when she thought about college. She knew it was probably a long shot, but she dreamed of going to Dartmouth. She had already downloaded the applications from their website, taking her time to complete the required essays. She hoped that she could wow the selection committee with her writing skills, near-perfect grades, and above-average SAT scores. It was still early to apply, but Bella had sent her application in a few days ago, hoping for early decision admission. If she was accepted early, she would get a decision in December. Otherwise, she'd have to wait until February. She'd been filling out applications to her back-up schools as well, but those didn't elicit the same excitement as Dartmouth.

Bella's stomach rumbled loudly, causing James to expel a boisterous belly laugh. Her pink cheeks darkened to red in embarrassment. Once his laughing fit subsided, James grabbed the chains on the swing, pulling Bella to a complete stop. Moving to face her, he gave her a quick, chaste peck on the lips before grabbing her hand.

"Come on," he said as he dragged her towards the blanket he'd spread out in the grass. James opened a large basket and began to unload typical picnic fare—things like sandwiches, sliced fruit, and potato salad. Once the basket was unloaded, they both dished up a plate of favorites and dug in. As Bella ate, she found herself watching James intently, thinking about the time they'd spent together. In the month that had passed since he had first driven her home from work—and they shared their first kiss—he'd become a constant presence in her life.

Once James had found out that Bella walked or took the bus to work, he appointed himself as her personal chauffeur, shuttling her to and from work, as well as any other place she needed to go. For the first week, Bella was unsure of his intentions. Though he'd kissed her that first day, their physical contact since then had been limited. He would often hold her hand or throw his arm around her shoulders, but he made no attempt to kiss her again. She began to worry, wondering if he viewed the kiss as a mistake and only wanted to be friends now. What if she was a horrible kisser and he simply wanted to forget the experience entirely?

Her fears were soon replaced with excitement and nervousness. When she'd expressed happiness over an upcoming day off, James had quickly asked her to spend the day with him. Since her initial plans included laundry and vacuuming, she quickly agreed. When he'd dropped her off at her apartment that evening, he'd walked her to the door and given her a second kiss, this one infinitely better than the first. It definitely wasn't like the chaste kiss they'd shared in his truck and it made her stomach tingle with an excitement she'd never felt before.

Their day together—she supposed it counted as their first date—had been spent at the beach. Bella coated herself in SPF 80 sunscreen, planning to lounge on a towel and read while James surfed. She'd barely made it through one chapter before he was back out of the water, standing over her and dripping water onto her book. He hadn't said a word, simply grabbed her hand and started dragging her towards the water.

Bella felt self-conscious as she pulled off her knit dress. She gazed at the girls around her, all clad in barely-there bikinis that showed off their tightly toned bodies. Her pale skin and modest tankini made her feel matronly and middle-aged, especially standing next to James. His bright red board shorts perfectly accented his deep tan and washboard abs. Bella briefly wondered, not for the first time, what he saw in a girl like her.

After some time spent giggling and splashing around in the salty water, James had tried to coax Bella onto a surfboard, hearkening back to their very first conversation. She vehemently refused, but a muttered "please" and a pouty lip somehow resulted in her lying on a bodyboard as waves crashed all around her. James stood waist-deep in the water, shouting encouragements at her retreating form. She soon realized that he never had any intention of putting her on a surfboard, simply using it as a diversionary tactic to get her to agree to this much simpler form of wave riding.

The pair didn't venture far out into the water and James stayed close by her side. He attempted to teach her proper technique, but settled on teaching her how to stay on the board. Bella actually had fun as she rode the waves in to the shore—well, not real waves, but more like giant ripples.

That day had been the first of many dates to come. James wanted to explore the city with Bella, interspersing his love of athletic and outdoorsy activities with more Bella-friendly endeavors. He took her to the movies, forcing her to sit through an action flick that she deemed "horrendous and unwatchable." In retaliation, she dragged him to an old theater, forcing him to sit through two foreign films on a Saturday afternoon. He complained about wasting the day in a musty theater. They spent more time at the beach, visited local museums, and sampled various types of cuisine at some of Jacksonville's best restaurants. Bella discovered a love of sushi, though James wasn't particularly a fan. He preferred to dine at a cheap, hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant that he claimed as his favorite. He took her to a park to play Frisbee golf, which ended with a scraped knee and a bump on her forehead.

Though they had a lot of fun when they were out doing things together, it was when they were alone that Bella became unsure. The physical aspects of their relationship progressed with hesitation and trepidation on her part. James had been with other girls—many other girls—and that only compounded Bella's nervousness. She feared that she wouldn't measure up, that she wouldn't be good enough for James. She already knew she didn't have the experience or boldness those girls possessed. The situation was becoming increasingly confusing, especially since she had no girlfriends to confide in or get advice from. She most certainly couldn't talk to Renee!

James told her that he was content to move at her pace, but she feared that those words were not indicative of his true feelings. When they were alone, he seemed to constantly be trying to push her boundaries, trying to blur the lines she'd set. Innocent kisses quickly escalated into heated fumbling and groping, but Bella just didn't feel ready. After several failed attempts on James' part, she eventually allowed his hands to venture beneath her shirt. She knew that this was supposed to be an enjoyable experience, yet she could never relax enough to immerse herself in his touch.

Bella would just sit there stiffly, arms hanging tightly at her sides. James would usually try for a bit to loosen her up, but it never seemed to work. Eventually he would huff and pull away, which would lead to profuse apologizing on her end. She felt so silly. Weren't teenage girls supposed to enjoy this kind of thing? Was there something wrong with her?

Deep down, Bella knew what the problem was, yet she tried to keep those feelings buried. Though she initially felt a fluttering sensation in the pit of her stomach when she was with James, those feelings had soon faded. James was attractive and most girls would do anything to get his attention. The problem was that Bella wasn't sure if she wanted it, at least not in a romantic or sexual way.

Over the course of their relationship, Bella had come to think of him more as a friend than anything else. She loved spending time with him, but she felt nothing for him beyond that. There were no longer any sparks or butterflies. But he was her only friend in Jacksonville and she was terrified to lose him. She was so dependent upon him and she knew that he cared about her. She didn't want to disappoint him.

~ o ~

"So, my parent's are having a sort of end-of-summer party this weekend, and I was wondering if you'd like to come…as my date?"

Bella looked at James; his expression seemed almost hesitant and nervous. She felt her own stomach knot, already feeling overwhelmed with the idea of meeting his parents. Sure, he'd already met Renee, but only because they'd bumped into her at the apartment. She just happened to pop in when James was visiting. The introduction was casual and brief. Renee said hello, grabbed some clean clothes, and was off again. They'd crossed paths with her several other times since then, but it was never a big deal.

Meeting James' parents _was_ a big deal. James spoke often of his family, though the things he had to say weren't always pleasant. His father was a well-known state senator, a powerful political figure in the state of Florida. She'd heard rumors about him seeking a national office in the near future. James' mother, a former beauty queen, also came from an affluent family. Their names and faces were often splashed on the pages of the local newspapers, usually in the society pages.

Bella's world was so far removed from that. Her mother had barely finished high school and her father was a small town police officer. Neither had gone to college and Renee was barely floating above the poverty line. The differences were like night and day. She simply didn't belong in James' world.

Bella chewed on her lip, weighing the pros and cons in her head. She wanted to do this for James. It had to be important or he wouldn't have asked. On the other hand, she knew she wouldn't fit in with any of the people there. James was so different from those types of people; he hated the lifestyle his parents lived and struggled against conforming to who they wanted him to be. It was a huge source of contention between them and he often vented those frustrations to Bella. His strong aversion to their lifestyle was one of the things that made him like Bella so much. She was so down to earth and unpretentious, completely unlike the debutantes his mother was always shoving in his face.

"You don't have to, but it would make me happy if you did. It's just a casual backyard barbecue. No pressure," he stated with a smile.

When Bella looked up and saw the pleading look in his eyes, she did the only thing she could.

"I'll do it."

~o~

Bella stood near the swimming pool, clutching a soda, and trying to remain innocuous. She scoffed as she stared down at the three dollar flip flops on her feet, feeling equally embarrassed by the twelve dollar dress she wore, an item she'd picked up on clearance at Old Navy. James had told her this would be a casual backyard barbecue; obviously their ideas of casual were vastly different.

There were people milling about the Harris' expansive backyard, sipping on cocktails and snacking on the finger foods the wait staff carried around. Most of the women were wearing heels, the men in slacks and oxford shirts. She even thought she saw a few dresses adorned with beads and sequins.

The impressive backyard had been transformed, looking more like something out of a movie than real life. There were white tents in one area, thin enough to see the stars through their fabric. A DJ was stationed in the corner, playing music as people danced on the dark wood floor that had been put down over the grass. There were many tables, each decorated impressively with crisp white linens and large centerpieces filled with boldly-colored summer flowers. Twinkle lights hung high in the trees and candles floated in the pool, giving the area an ambient glow.

In addition to the food being carried around by the waiters and waitresses, there was also a buffet and an open bar. Ice sculptures rose from the tables, including a beautiful and elegant swan. It was one of the few items that made Bella smile. She'd been angry for most of the day, a permanent scowl etched upon her face. She didn't want to come to this party, yet she had done so for James—and he was nowhere to be found.

James had planned to come by the apartment to pick her up earlier in the evening. She silently cursed him, knowing that he would have been able to advise her to change her clothes if that had happened. Instead he'd called at the last minute, saying that his mother needed his assistance and telling Bella he'd send a cab to fetch her. Already feeling nervous and on edge, she had argued with him, saying she'd just take the city bus. He huffed and sighed into the phone, obviously growing annoyed with her. Hearing the frustration in his voice, she had relented and accepted the cab, not wanting to upset him any further.

Once she arrived at the mansion—there really was no other word to describe it—she'd wandered out into the backyard, frantically searching for James. There were tons of people already there, none of which she knew. After doing a couple laps around the space and not finding him, she'd grabbed a soda and stationed herself near the pool. It seemed to give her the best vantage point of the entire area.

Standing there, Bella felt as though someone was watching her. Looking up, she saw two girls on the other side of the pool. They were staring directly at her, giggling and whispering to one another. She knew without a doubt that they were talking about her, probably wondering how someone so far beneath their social class had ended up here. Both girls were wearing satiny cocktail dresses and strappy heels, their hair pulled into elegant up-dos, with pristine make-up and expensive-looking jewelry. Bella sighed and dropped her head, shuffling away from the pool.

Just as she felt the tears pricking her eyes, she heard someone call her name.

"Bella!" She turned quickly, immediately recognizing the voice. James was jogging towards her, his arm flailing about in an effort to get her attention.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't realize how long I'd gotten held up. There were some people that my parents wanted to introduce me to. I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

Bella gave him a reluctant smile as he reached forward, pulling her into his chest. She sank into his embrace, trying to will away the disappointment the evening had brought her way. He gently rubbed up and down her back, then grabbed her hand and led her to a more secluded area of the yard. He led them to a bench nestled into the bushes, just slightly off of the stone walkway.

Once they were seated, James apologized a second time, filling Bella in on his evening so far. He'd been arguing with his mother for most of the day, though he skirted around why there was hostility between the two. Angry with him, his mother had proceeded to make his day hell, forcing him to assist her in setting up for the party. This was why he hadn't been able to pick Bella up.

When the party had gotten underway, James planned to wait in front of the house, but his mother once again demanded his attention. She'd spent the evening introducing him to some prominent families, wanting him to get acquainted with new friends. He'd followed his mother from group to group, gazing around the yard and hoping to spot her. After an hour or so, he'd finally been able to drag himself away from his mother, making an excuse about needing to use the restroom. In actuality, he knew he needed to find Bella.

Bella was relieved by his explanation, having feared that he was intentionally blowing her off. Little did Bella know, however, that James was not being entirely truthful. Wanting to spare her feelings, he'd left out many details, including the reason he had been fighting with his mother.

~ o ~

Jane Harris was the quintessential trophy wife, a vain social climber that cared more about position and wealth than anything else, including the feelings of her son. Jane had known James was seeing someone, obviously not someone from their social set. Had he been dating someone she would have approved of, he would have brought her to meet the family much sooner. As it was, however, he had avoided any questions about his girlfriend, a plain little girl named Isabella.

At first, Jane was content to let this little indiscretion slide. She assumed that the relationship was nothing more than a harmless summer fling, the result of a young man simply wanting to let loose. As she questioned James more and more about Isabella, she began to grow concerned, so concerned that she shared her thoughts with her husband, Marcus. They both agreed that they could not allow James to make such a colossal mistake, throwing his life away for some girl that possessed nothing of value—no wealth, no power, no status…no nothing.

Quickly coming up with a plan, Jane pressured James to bring Bella to their end of summer party. She knew that the girl would feel insecure and out of place. This would be the first step to causing problems in their relationship. They were both so young and naïve. She knew it wouldn't take much, just a couple of pushes in the right direction. Next, she made sure that Bella would be forced to arrive alone, wanting to further isolate her. Then, she spent the first part of the party parading James around, introducing him to families with daughters close to his age. It was imperative the he develop an interest in someone else. It might not happen tonight, but she would keep pushing the issue.

Jane had no doubt that with just a bit of interference on her part, James' relationship with Isabella would shortly meet its end. After that, she could concentrate on getting him to college where he belonged, and into a relationship with a suitable mate. Their image as a perfect family would need to continue if Marcus was going to seek national office soon.

~ o ~

Wanting to make Bella feel less insecure about her clothing choice, James had shed his tie and rolled his sleeves up past his elbows. He'd offered to go inside and change into shorts and flip flops, but Bella had insisted that might be overkill. They'd sat on the secluded bench for nearly an hour, talking, laughing, and kissing. Bella felt much more comfortable in his presence, especially after her anxiety over the situation had been resolved.

"Do you want to get out of here?" James asked. "I've had my fill of these stuffy people."

"Sure," Bella replied, anxious to get away from the party as well.

James held her hand, leading her from their secluded spot toward the garage. Unfortunately, they would have to venture through the throngs of people in the yard to make their escape. James hoped they could escape undeterred, especially wanting to avoid his parents. Just as they made it to the edge of the yard and to the back entrance of the house, James heard the shrill voice of his mother, beckoning him to come back.

The next ten minutes would be some of the most mortifying of Bella's life. James' mother, Jane, had sneered at her from the moment she walked up. She spoke sweetly to James, extolling his virtues and accomplishments to the crowd gathered around her. When she addressed Bella, however, it was almost as if she had a secret power—one that allowed her to see right into Bella's soul, to find the things that would be the most uncomfortable for her to speak about.

Bella felt her face flush crimson as Jane looked her up and down, turning up her nose and scoffing in disgust. She questioned Bella relentlessly, seemingly disgusted by her answers. She made jokes about Bella's clothing, making the people around her laugh. When she learned Bella came from a divorced family, she talked about how important it was for families to stay together no matter what. The final straw was when she asked about Bella's mother, stating that she knew another family that needed a maid and wondered if Bella's mother would be interested.

So caught up in her own embarrassment, Bella hadn't noticed the glaring looks James was giving his mother. Finally, he had endured enough, feeling like a complete jackass for forcing Bella to endure this for so long. He made their excuses and shuffled her away.

They rode in silence towards Bella's apartment. She could see the tension in James neck, his muscles stretched so tight that a vein in his neck was protruding. The tension was also evident in his arms and his knuckles gripped the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. She wanted console him, but she wasn't sure what was the right thing to say. Finally, halfway to their destination, he exhaled a long breath and smacked the dashboard with the butt of his hand.

"Fuck!" he screamed. "Why does she think she can treat people that way? Such a goddamn snob."

Bella flinched at the profanities, never having heard James speak in such a manner, especially about his own mother.

"I'm sure she didn't really mean it," Bella answered, trying to make him feel better.

"Don't defend her, Bella! She treated you like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe." Bella blanched as he shouted at her, knowing he was simply venting his frustrations. It still hurt to be spoken to in that manner, especially after the chastisement his mother had given her.

When they pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building, Bella bolted from the truck. James followed quickly behind her, calling for her to wait. His pleas fell on deaf ears as she tried to control the tears that threatened to seep from her eyes. She'd done so much crying since moving to Jacksonville. She'd thought James was the answer to her prayers, the one person that could pull her out of her depression. Now, she just wasn't so sure.

~ o ~

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**A/N:** A day late and a dollar short? Sorry for already getting behind on my posting schedule. The New Year's holiday got me all messed up. I hope everyone had an excellent time ringing in the New Year.

Much thanks, as always, to my beta lislar. She was super fast getting this one back to me, making sure I didn't fall too far behind. Go and check out her stories!

This week's fic recs: The Live in Position by Saewod (a new obsession) and My Escort by Bratty-Vamp.


	3. Where Do We Go Now but Nowhere

I don't own Twilight! Huge thanks to my beta, lislar. You're a star!

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**Chapter 3: Where Do We Go Now but Nowhere**

Bella sat inside of the apartment, listening to James as he stood outside of the locked door. She'd pulled her hair back into a ponytail and changed into her favorite pajamas, wanting nothing more than the warm comfort and familiarity of the worn flannel.

Her eyes were red-rimmed and her face was puffy and mottled. Bella tried to hold back the torrent, but hot tears streaked down her cheeks unbidden. She angrily swatted them away, annoyed that she had so little control over her emotions.

"Bella, please—will you open the door?" James begged. He continued to pound loudly, muttering apologies and making promises. He apologized for his own behavior, as well as that of his mother. He promised Bella that he would protect her from now on, that he wouldn't allow his mother to treat her so disrespectfully. His voice was full of desperation, so unlike the strong and confident timbre Bella had grown accustomed to.

Bella continued to sit on the couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. The spring that was desperately trying to escape from the threadbare, thrift store couch dug into her thigh, but she didn't even notice, too lost in her own thoughts.

She had always known that James was too good for her, from a completely different social class. Bella never cared about that sort of thing, but it was obviously important to James' family. Their worlds were so far apart, never meant to coexist. While she had never expected a warm reception from his mother, she also hadn't expected to be treated so cruelly. His mother, Jane, had hated her from the onset, before she'd even had a chance to open her mouth to speak.

What was it about her that was so completely terrible? She wasn't rich or beautiful, but she was smart and well read. More importantly, she cared about James. Why couldn't that be enough for his mother? Was it simply because she was heartbreakingly average and had nothing to offer into their world of excess? His mother had no reason to want James, her only son, to settle for a mediocre girl from the wrong side of town when he could have any girl he wanted—someone with money, power, and beauty. Someone more like him.

Eventually the pounding outside the door stopped, but only after Bella heard the muffled sound of male voices in the hallway. She assumed it was one of the neighbors, complaining to James about his incessant banging. He'd probably left, gone home for the night, maybe forever. Even with this knowledge, Bella couldn't bring herself to move from the couch to her bed.

Bella continued to sit on the couch, silent tears occasionally falling down her cheeks. She couldn't even be bothered to brush them away. Somehow, knowing that James had gone, she felt hollower than ever before. She realized that she was now completely and utterly alone. Bella felt as if her chest should be aching with this knowledge, but instead she just felt impossibly numb. At some point, the exhaustion of the evening finally overcame her and she fell into a dreamless, fitful slumber.

The next morning, Bella awoke to the sound of nothing. The sun was haphazardly shining through the grimy window, casting hazy shadows across the scuffed wooden floors. Everything seemed hazy and dim. Bella had gotten so used to hearing the sounds of her neighbors, of children outside playing, and of cars going up and down the streets. Late in the afternoon, however, everything seemed eerily still.

Pulling herself up off of the couch, her neck and back felt stiff, the result of having spent the night curled up on the nearly broken down couch, she shuffled over to the window, looking out onto the street below. There was no one around, an odd occurrence for her tiny neighborhood.

Bella trudged into the kitchen, but as she opened the refrigerator and looked inside, she felt her stomach knot. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, hoping to will away the nauseousness. Without warning, the tears began to pool in her eyes once more. She sunk down onto the torn linoleum floor and allowed the tears to fall.

She'd realized weeks before that her feelings were James weren't of the romantic variety, yet when she considered her life without his presence, loneliness and desperation wracked her tiny frame. Deep down, there was some part of her that loved him, but she knew she didn't feel for him the things she should. Any other teenage girl would be thrilled to find herself in such a position, the object of James' affections, but Bella simply didn't.

As she sat there, contemplating their relationship, she wondered if she simply wasn't trying hard enough. She'd always just assumed she would fall in love with James if she was meant to, but maybe it was something she needed to work at. Realizing what she needed to do, she picked herself up off of the floor and wiped the tears from her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

From now on, Bella vowed that she would try harder. She would throw herself whole-heartedly into her relationship. Surely if she really tried, she could make herself fall in love with James, to feel those butterflies in her stomach once again. What other choice did she really have? Without James, she would be all alone, left to stew in her own misery in this crummy apartment.

Feeling a little better, she moved to the door to pick up the newspaper. When she pulled the door open, however, she was shocked to see James' form slumped over in the hallway. He was leaning against the wall, his chin awkwardly resting against his chest. This was exactly why she needed to try harder, to give more of herself. He'd spent the night out here, wanting to work things out between them. The least she could do was try.

~ o ~

James woke up to see Bella standing over him, a gentle smile on her face. He could still see the creases of worry marring her forehead, the trepidation and uncertainty in her eyes.

"Bella," James sighed. He reached out to cup her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the tear tracks that stained her face. They stood there for several moments, just staring at one another. Eventually Bella pulled away, turning back into the apartment without saying a word. James pulled himself off of the floor and followed her inside.

Bella sat gingerly on the couch, still feeling apprehensive and unsure. But James felt more confident in the morning light, especially after seeing the evidence that Bella's night was just as terrible as his own. He sat down on the couch and placed his arm across the back, hoping Bella took his action as an invitation. She hesitated for a moment before crawling into his embrace.

James pulled her close to his chest and placed a soft kiss in her hair. She still felt stiff and tense. He could see that she'd pulled her lower lip into her mouth and was biting it furiously. He took his free hand and reached out for one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze before rubbing his thumb gently over the top of her knuckles.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Last night, I never meant to speak to you that way. After how my mother treated you…God, I was such an asshole," James rasped, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

"It's okay," Bella quickly assured him. "It's just…your mom. She really hates me and I—"

"Don't worry about her anymore, okay? From now on, it's just you and me. I won't let her come between us, Bella. I promise."

Feeling a bit more confident, Bella looked up at him with glassy eyes, the tears once again threatening to consume her. He seemed so sincere in that moment, so caring and gentle. He was exactly the type of boyfriend she should want, so why did she still feel like someone had punched a hole right through her chest? Unable to speak, she could only nod her head in agreement.

They sat there for hours together, simply holding onto one another. Bella was very quiet and this worried James. He knew that Bella was insecure, that she doubted herself. He often wondered why she couldn't see the things he saw in her. He wanted to help her, to mend the broken pieces of her heart, but it seemed like she was holding back—like she was afraid to let him see certain parts of her.

When they were together, Bella usually seemed happy, but sometimes he could see the signs of the depression and loneliness he knew plagued her. He hated to see the sadness in her eyes, the doubt that slowly crept in. In that moment, he vowed that he would protect her, no matter what the consequences or cost.

~ o ~

All too soon classes resumed, though the start of a new school year wasn't an epic event for Bella. The other students at her high school were excited and full of life, bragging about how they spent their summer vacations, showing off glistening tans and expensive new clothes. She was wearing the same clothes from last year, carrying the same old ratty Jansport, and sporting her favorite pair of well-worn canvas sneakers. She was still plain, pale, and mousy.

Bella struggled to find her routine, overwhelmed by the packed schedule of AP classes she'd decided to take. When she had made out her schedule at the end of the previous school year, she hadn't anticipated having a boyfriend or actually needing to have free time. Now, she'd loaded herself down with tons of extra work that she no longer wanted. This would keep her evenings occupied and her weekends would be devoted to the ice cream shop. Bella wondered how she would make time to fit James into her now packed schedule.

It took several weeks for things to get in order, but she eventually felt like she'd found a good balance. She sent James text messages throughout the day and they tried to speak on the phone every evening. Weekends were spent at work, but James would always drop by to spend her lunch hour together. He would pick her up at the end of her shift as well and they would spend the evenings together. Sometimes they would go out, but most of the time Bella was content to just sit at home, cuddling together on the couch to watch a movie or tv show.

Even though they still found time for one another, Bella still sometimes felt insecure. James often seemed silent and aloof during the evenings, staring off into space and not listening to what she had to say. She wondered if he was having more family problems, most likely caused by her. Bella didn't want him to feel like he was making the wrong choice by continuing to be with her, so she tried hard to be the girl she thought James deserved.

Despite her hesitance, Bella allowed the physical aspects of their relationship to progress further. If she were honest with herself, she knew she wasn't ready for this, but she felt like it was necessary. Somehow, she reasoned that this would bind him to her, that it would make them closer. Maybe her hesitance for physical contact was the reason she felt an awkwardness in their relationship, like something was missing.

Though she didn't have any friends at school, she still heard the things other girls whispered about in the bathroom and before class. She and James had been dating for more than a month; most couples their age would have already had sex. Though she wasn't ready to go that far, she pushed back her anxiety and allowed James to round some bases.

These activities seemed to please James. He seemed happier, more at ease. Bella, however, felt quite the opposite. She found no joy in these intimate acts, simply engaging in them out of some twisted sense of obligation. She was still very hesitant about touching James, but she allowed his hands to roam freely over her body.

When they were together, Bella would fake a smile and pretend that the groping and fumbling of his hands was enjoyable. James was none the wiser; at least if he was, he never complained. Once he had gone, Bella felt empty and hollow. Deep down, a tiny part of her protested, wanting her to realize that she was making a mistake. Yet her desire to feel wanted and needed kept her from saying no. She couldn't imagine being alone, and if this was what it took to keep that from happening, it would be her cross to bear.

~ o ~

The month of August proved difficult for James as well, as he struggled to balance family expectations and his relationship with Bella. He adored Bella for many reasons, but mostly because she was so different from anyone he'd ever known. She didn't place emphasis on material things. She didn't care that he was from a prominent family or that he was wealthy.

For the first time, he felt like someone actually saw him, the person beneath the façade of money and power. He'd always been popular in school, having excelled in several sports and made excellent grades. Yet he always wondered if those people really liked him, or if they simply saw his money and his name. With Bella, he had never had that fear.

Bella was occupied most of the time, spending countless hours studying and still holding down her job. This left him with too much free time on his hands, especially since he had decided to take a year off before college. There was no need to work, though he often wondered if he shouldn't find something to do to. He spent more time than usual around the house, lounging around and being lazy. He went to the beach, but it wasn't the same, especially not since most of his friends had gone off to college.

His mother had seen this all as a golden opportunity. Within days of her realization that he was content to just sit around the house, a string of debutantes began to hang around as well. She made excuses, claiming that they were there to help plan some Junior League function, but James knew better. His mother hadn't cared about being charitable before, simply belonging to the organization because it looked good for their family. She donated a large chunk of money, which meant that no one said anything about her lack of attendance at meetings and events.

Most of the girls that came around were nothing more than vapid airheads, more concerned with their personal appearance than anything else. He doubted they could even hold an intelligent conversation. They all seemed to blur together into one giant mess of bleached blonde hair and too-tanned skin. They were nothing at all like Bella, with her innocent blush and long brown hair. He tried to ignore most of the women, but his mother always found some reason to force him to interact with them.

There was one girl in particular that seemed to frequent the Harris home more than the others—Makenna. She was much the same as the other girls, though more bold in her actions. Whereas the others were content to bat their eyelashes and steal glances at James from afar, Makenna was bold and brazen. She thought nothing of _accidentally_ rubbing herself up against James or making lewd comments his presence. When his mother was around, however, she was the portrait of virtue and innocence.

While these girls seemed to think their actions would gain James' attention, they only made him care for and appreciate Bella more. And he soon realized that he didn't just like Bella anymore—he loved her. That realization scared him, not because he was afraid of the emotion, but because he feared the backlash from his family. Bella was naïve and innocent; his mother could easily destroy her.

~ o ~

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**A/N:** This chapter is a little on the shorter side, but that felt like a good stopping point. Apologies for taking so long between updates. I really would like to keep a schedule, but things have been a bit crazy for me…and I ran into a bit of writer's block. I'm back now and the next chapter is already almost finished! Expect updates mid-week from this point forward. :)


	4. September When It Comes

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own these characters. I'm just having fun with them!

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**  
Chapter 4: September When It Comes**

Jane Harris sat at her desk in the home library, her bleached hair pulled back into a severe bun. Her lips were stained a dark crimson, her eyes an icy blue. She flicked her expensive pen against the dark cherry wood, a flurry of curse words on the tip of her tongue. She silently wished for one of the servants to come into the room and disturb her, wanting nothing more than to unleash the fury of her words upon any unsuspecting soul.

She was watching her son intently through the large windows that looked out into the back yard, watching him turn away the advances of every girl she'd flung into his path for the past few weeks. James had always been such a fickle young man, using his female peers and discarding them with little thought or emotion. But something had changed within him recently, much to Jane's chagrin.

Jane had thought that getting rid of little Isabella Swan would be quite an easy feat, knowing her son's preference for random flings. Her attempts had been quickly thwarted, however. None of the girls she threw at him seemed to command his attention, even the one she'd hired to seduce him.

While Jane wasn't initially happy about his relationship with Isabella, she'd let it go and chalked it up a harmless summer fling. But watching James now, she realized it was anything but…and she just couldn't allow it to continue. Her first thought had been to simply offer the girl money. After all, she came from practically nothing. Once Jane had met her, however, she realized that probably wouldn't work.

There was something in Isabella's eyes, a naïve innocence. Underneath those big doe eyes, Jane sensed a fierce sense of morality and a solid moral compass. Isabella seemed just the type to be loyal, a trait Jane found to be rather despicable. Coming up with an alternate plan, James seemed a more likely target, but her son had surprised her. And now she was left to chart a different course.

Recently, she'd fought with James numerous times over the Swan girl. Jane had reminded him many times of his responsibility to the family. His father, Marcus, was gearing up to run for a national political office. When the time came, their family needed to be picture perfect, the All-American family. James' dalliances with Isabella just couldn't be tolerated. Jane sneered at the thought of that mousy little girl's image splashed across national newspapers and magazines.

She grew even more uneasy thinking about the things the media could dig up about Isabella and her family. It had only take the private investigator she hired a few days to have a folder full of information for her. The media was ruthless and would have no trouble turning up the same information just as quickly, maybe even faster.

Isabella's parents had divorced when she was very young. Her father was fairly respectable, a small town police chief. It was her mother, Renee, that made Jane cringe. The woman could simply be described as a hot mess, flighty and rresponsible. She went through men liked Kleenex and gave little thought to the consequences of her actions. Jane just could not allow this woman's poor image to ruin Marcus' chance to step into the national spotlight. She would not sit idly by.

A smile crept across Jane's face as she realized her next course of action. Her previous attacks had been all wrong. James was obviously very protective of the girl, going toe-to-toe with her in the name of protecting Isabella. If she could push him far enough, he might come to realize that the best way to protect Isabella would be to stay away from her. Jane would do whatever it took to make sure her husband reached his political goals. If that meant destroying the Swan girl, well, she had absolutely no qualms about playing dirty.

~ o ~

Faster than Bella realized, August gave way to September. Things with James seemed to be going well and Bella found herself feeling better than she had in months. Renee still wasn't around much, but James was almost always there to keep her company and assure that she didn't feel alone. It was nice to finally feel like there was someone she could count on.

Coming home from a particularly tiresome day at school, Bella walked towards her empty apartment. James had been on some errand for his father, unable to give her a ride home. Opening the door, she was assaulted with a blast of stifling heat. Furrowing her brow, she trudged into the apartment, wondering why the window units weren't running. As she reached the unit in the living room, however, she was puzzled to see that it was indeed on, yet no cool air was flowing from the vents.

Walking back toward the door, Bella dug her pre-paid cell phone from the recesses of her backpack. She flicked the light switch, but the overhead light did not come on. She flicked it again several more times; nothing happened. Normally she would have assumed that the bulb was blown, but since the air conditioning wasn't working either, she thought there might be an electrical problem.

Not on friendly terms with any of her neighbors, Bella placed a quick call to the building's supervisor. There was no answer. She left a detailed message, explaining her problem, and desperately hoping someone would return her call quickly. Next she tried to call Renee, but that proved to be equally as fruitless. Feeling anxious and out of sorts, she dug out the old electric bill and placed a call to the power company.

Moments later, she was connected to an operator. The woman informed her that the account was past due and $362.38 would be required to restore services. Bella sat there in disbelief, knowing that there was no way the account was delinquent. She wrote the checks herself! With a sigh, she gave in and asked to have someone sent out to get her power back on. She assumed that she could get this misunderstanding ironed out later. For now, she just needed to get the lights back on.

Bella was then informed that it was past regular service hours, which meant someone couldn't be sent to her apartment until the following day. If she wished to restore her services immediately, there would also be an additional $100 service charge. She knew she had enough money hidden away to pay, but it seemed like a frivolous waste; she chose to wait until morning.

After ending that call, Bella sent James a quick text message. She told him that she wasn't feeling well and that he wouldn't need to come over that evening. She opened all of the windows and made a sandwich for dinner. Bella tried to read by candlelight, but the encroaching darkness made it difficult for her eyes to adjust to the low lighting. She gave up at eight o'clock and crawled into bed.

The next morning, Bella sent James another message, telling him she had a stomach bug and would be staying home from school. She assured him it was temporary, but he should stay away to keep from catching it. Bella hoped he didn't stop by anyway, not wanting to face the embarrassment of having her electricity turned off.

~ o ~

The rest of the week passed by quickly and without incident. On Friday afternoon, James picked Bella up from school. They had planned to go out for the evening, but Bella was exhausted and had work in the morning. The pair instead decided to spend the night in, having pizza and watching movies. James planned to leave early, allowing Bella a chance to catch up on her sleep.

Once they were finished with the pizza, James retreated to the kitchen to discard the box. Grease had seeped through the cardboard and coated his hands. He walked over to the sink and turned on the tap, disgusted by the oily residue. A trickle of water ran from the tap, but then stopped completely.

"Bella?" he called out.

She followed his voice into the kitchen, still giggling over the movie they'd just been watching. When she saw James standing over the sink, greasy hands raised in the air, her face immediately fell.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth.

"Ummm…yeah, there's no water."

Bella dropped her head and let out a defeated sigh. She quickly turned away and headed back toward the living room, mumbling to herself. James couldn't make out all of what she was saying, but he thought he heard say "not again" as she lamented about money.

He found her in the living room, desperately rummaging through a desk drawer. She seemed to be frantically searching for something; he had no idea what she was looking for or how this was related to the water issue.

"You should just call the super. It's probably a broken pipe or something."

"It's not a pipe," Bella replied. "I'll have to call the water company."

James continued to stand there dumbfounded and confused. Finally, Bella seemed to have found what she was looking for. As she walked over to get her cell phone, he grabbed her arm to stop her. When their eyes met, he could see the tears that were threatening to fall. These were not tears of sadness, however, but tears borne of annoyance, anger, and frustration.

Bella knew that James would not let this go, so she told him the whole story about her electricity. She assumed the water issue was much the same. Bella had talked to Renee the day before; she had assured Bella that the checks for the payments were good and had been taken from her checking account. She wanted to believe her mother, but it would be just like Renee to forego paying the utilities, instead opting to spend her money on something frivolous and ridiculous.

Much to her surprise, James was calm and understanding. He offered to pay the water fees and reimburse Bella for the money she had paid to the power company. He knew she had been saving that money for college and he didn't want to see it wasted in such a manner. Bella wouldn't allow it, however, insisting that this was not his responsibility. James let it go, but decided he would find a way later on to get the money back to her.

Unfortunately for Bella, these two events would only be the first in a string of odd occurrences. Her secret stash of money was quickly dwindling. In addition to the water and electricity, she'd had to fork over the money for two months of rent, four months of garbage pick-up, and three months of cable. After the first few instances, she'd stopped calling Renee about it. Her mother was still adamant that all those bills had been paid. Bella didn't trust her. She could just image Renee taking all of the money out of the bank account to take a painting class or join some new religion.

Bella knew that her extra funds would be gone soon and she wondered what she would do then. Since the water incident, she had kept everything else a secret from James. She knew that he would simply try to give her the money to cover the expenses and she just wasn't comfortable with that. While she realized that she depended on him to keep her sane and help her feel less lonely, she didn't want to be indebted to him financially as well. It was one thing to let him take her out on dates or buy her gifts, but it was wholly another to allow him to pay her living expenses. That was Renee's lone responsibility to Bella and she was failing miserably.

~ o ~

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Bella's eighteenth birthday was upon them. Charlie called the morning of, just like he always did on her special day. His present had arrived in the mail a few days prior—a new digital camera. Bella was a little saddened speaking to her father, wishing that she'd taken the time to visit him during the summer months. Hopeful, she inquired about possibly spending the Thanksgiving holiday with him in Forks. She could almost hear the smile in his voice as he agreed.

Bella was nervous about whatever James had planned for her. He hadn't revealed any of his plans for their evening, simply instructing her to "dress nice." Combing through her closet, Bella realized she should have done a better job of planning. She had absolutely nothing that was appropriate. She ended up pilfering through Renee's things, looking for something to wear.

Most of what Renee owned was too short, too tight, or too flashy, but Bella eventually settled on a simple black dress with a sweetheart neckline. It hit mid-thigh, much shorter than she would normally wear. Uncomfortable with showing so much skin, she pulled a short jacket from her own closet, happy to have her shoulders covered.

Bella had never been much for girly things like make-up and dressing up, but she felt as though she should make more of an effort tonight. She spent a long time in the bathroom, curling her long hair and even applying some of Renee's make-up. She kept her jewelry to a minimum, wearing a pair of small diamond earrings Charlie had gotten her for her sweet sixteen, and a few bangle bracelets.

Looking over her footwear choices, she settled upon a pair of zebra print ballet flats, needing something to compliment her otherwise drab outfit of all black. Heels were not made for the clumsy and uncoordinated. Looking herself in the mirror, she remembered that she had also recently purchased a pair of zebra print underwear. Hesitating momentarily, she finally ran to her drawers to find them. Chucking off the modest cotton panties she had planned on, Bella slipped the outrageous undies on. They were definitely outside of her normal comfort zone, but they somehow made her feel a little bit bolder. Moments later, she heard a swift knock on the door.

Flinging open the door, James stood before her with a shy grin on his face. He was dressed impeccably in dark slacks, a crisp Oxford, and a skinny black tie. In his hand was a single red rose. Bella blushed immediately, feeling his gaze appraising her body. Though he'd seen more of her body than anyone else, his lingering looks still made her uncomfortable. She desperately wanted to please him, but she knew her modesty was something he didn't understand. He tried to make her feel beautiful, but his compliments only made her feel more uneasy. Bella never felt like she deserved them.

~ o ~

Just as Bella had thought, James had an entire evening planned for them. She would have been content just to sit at home, watching movies, ordering a pizza, and eating a cake made from a box. James had other ideas, however, and Bella didn't want to seem ungrateful or spoil the plans he had made so meticulously.

The evening began at a hotel restaurant. It was romantic and dimly lit. Everyone there was dressed impeccably and Bella felt a bit uncomfortable. She was momentarily taken aback as she gazed at the prices on the menu. Not wanting to overindulge, she selected one of the cheapest things on the menu, a simple pasta dish. James implored her to order whatever she wanted, but she assured him of her choice.

Bella was more than shocked when James ordered a bottle of wine to go with their meal. She'd never had alcohol before and wondered how he'd accomplished this; they were both underage. When she asked, James just gave her a smile and a shrug of his shoulders. Bella only allowed herself one glass during dinner, fearful of the effects it might have on her. And to be honest, she wasn't too fond of the taste.

After the main course, the couple indulged in dessert. Bella chose a decadent chocolate cake from the menu. It was the most deliciously sinful thing she'd ever tasted. As she was eating, James produced a small velvet box, pushing it across the table towards her. Glancing at the box, she knew it was jewelry. With shaking hands, she picked it up to reveal a stunning diamond bracelet. She placed her hand near her throat and gasped aloud.

"Oh, James. I can't accept this. I'm sorry."

"Bella, please. I want you to have it."

Knowing he'd spent such an absurd amount of money on her made her uncomfortable. She knew very little about diamonds or expensive jewelry, but she was sure the twinkling stones were expensive. She continued to stare at the bracelet until she felt James' reaching across the table, grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I love you, Bella," he said, his eyes full of sincerity. "Happy birthday."

With his kind words, she knew that she couldn't refuse his gift. He would see it as a rejection. After all he'd done for her, she owed it to him to be grateful for his generosity.

"Thank you, James," she whispered. And though she was unsure of her feelings, she returned his declaration in a shaky voice. "I love you, too."

As soon as the words left Bella's lips, she felt a wave of remorse wash over her. On some level, she probably did love James, but she knew she wasn't _in love_ with him. She couldn't hurt him that way, though. He loved her and would have been crushed had she not returned the sentiment. Bella trusted that in time she would develop deeper feelings for him and that he would never know of her deception. She hoped she hadn't admitted to something that would hurt both of them later on.

Bella continued to look at the bracelet, watching the diamonds sparkle in the light. It was so unlike anything she'd ever owned, so unlike anything she would ever choose for herself if she had the money to purchase such things. Bella wanted to put the bracelet on, to show James that she liked it, but knew it would look silly against the cheap plastic bangles that were currently around her wrist. Instead, she gave James another smile as she closed the box, and then placed it into her purse.

James led her from the restaurant with a bright smile on his face, anxious to start the next part of their date. Expecting another extravagant stop, Bella was completely surprised when they pulled into the local drive-in. It was a place they'd mentioned going to several times during the summer months, yet they'd never actually taken the time to do so. The movie that was showing was some silly romantic comedy, not something Bella would have normally chosen, but she was just excited to experience the old-time charm of the drive-in.

Of course, being at the drive-in, Bella should have known there wouldn't be much movie-watching going on anyway. She snuggled into James' side, and before the previews had even ended, his lips found her neck, placing gentle kisses along the exposed skin. As the movie played, their innocent touches and kissed grew more heated. Bella knew this kind of intimacy was shared between couples, yet it still made her uneasy. When the credits began to roll, James rested his head into the crook of her neck.

"Stay with me, Bella."

She pulled away, her eyes meeting his. He repeated his statement. By the look in his eyes, Bella knew exactly what he was asking and what she would be agreeing to.

"Okay."

~ o ~

Bella had expected the night to continue at her apartment, especially since Renee was rarely home. She was shocked when James drove them back to the hotel they'd eaten dinner at previously. He didn't bother to check-in, leading her straight towards the elevators. When they reached the room, he pulled a keycard from his pocket. This annoyed her a little, knowing that he'd planned this whole thing, but she didn't have the courage to voice her concerns.

Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, she placed her hands in her lap, unsure as to how would proceed. Bella was nervous, a huge knot forming in the pit of her stomach. Sensing her unease, James called and had a bottle of champagne delivered to the room. Hoping to calm herself, Bella hurriedly downed two glasses. The bubbles tickled her throat and she soon felt a little light-headed. When James approached her, she closed her eyes and tried to get swept up in the moment.

That night, Bella gave James the most precious thing she could offer him—her virginity. The experience wasn't some romantic fairytale. Though he was slow and patient, it was painful, but short. Once he'd fallen asleep, she lay there in his arms, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. She tried to convince herself that she'd made the right choice, but something deep within her didn't agree.

Bella didn't sleep well that night. When the morning light came, she dressed quickly before James had regained consciousness. She woke him up when she was presentable, politely asking him to take her home. And once she was safely locked behind her apartment door, she let the tears fall.

* * *

**A/N:** Taking a few liberties here. The drive-in theater in Jacksonville closed down several years ago, but we'll pretend it's still in operation.

As always, thanks to my beta, lislar. This story would probably make no sense and my characters would be flat as a cardboard box without her.

This week's recs:

Second Chances by lislar

An Introduction to Swirl & Daisy by m81170

This Is Not My Life by isakassees

Also, m81170 and I have recently developed a new Twi-related site that focuses on graphics. Come check us out and join us for a chat over on the forum. http://twificpics(dot)com


	5. Love Will Tear Us Apart

Updating a day early because the snow is coming and I fear I may lose my internet connection.

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.

* * *

  
**Chapter 5: Love Will Tear Us Apart**

October soon arrived, ushering with it a slight drop in the temperature. The air in the city wasn't the only thing that was cooling down.

Bella's relationship with James had hit another rough patch. After her birthday, things had gone well for a few weeks, but now she was left to wonder what she'd done wrong. She was growing more downhearted with each passing day, yearning for some assurance that things were going to turn out okay.

It was almost as if James had two personalities, going from loving and caring one moment, to angry and irritable the next. Several times he had snapped at Bella for no apparent reason—once because she couldn't decide upon a movie rental, another because she simply needed an evening alone to catch up on homework. She vividly remembered that particular incident.

Bella had been overwhelmed with homework, trying to keep her GPA intact. She'd also been spending a lot of time filling out her final college applications and looking for another job, the ice cream shop having closed down for the season. Trying to work James into her hectic schedule was nearly impossible. The few times she'd put her homework on hold in order to see him, she'd fallen behind on her reading for English and now she had to scramble to finish up a report for her Physics class.

After school, she'd sent James a quick text, letting him know that she needed time alone for the evening. When she'd arrived at her apartment, however, he was sitting in his truck waiting for her.

"James, didn't you get my text?"

"Yes, but I needed to see you. I know you said you had stuff to do, but I won't bother you, I promise. You'll hardly even know I'm there."

While she should have stood her ground and asked him to leave, Bella relented—just like always. Once they got inside the apartment, James settled on the couch to watch tv and Bella started working on her report, silently cursing her decrepit computer. She'd barely had time to get the machine booted up and connected to the internet before James was hovering over her.

He stood there for several moments, simply standing behind her and watching her movements. Then he was rubbing her shoulders. Bella should have protested, but her neck was stiff from a long day at school. The movements of his hands soothed and relaxed her aching muscles; Bella found herself closing her eyes and leaning into his touch.

In a matter of moments, his innocent touches became something entirely different. Before Bella could even register what was going on, his hands were cupping her breasts over her t-shirt and he was kissing her neck.

"I want you, Bella," he whispered in her ear.

Bella let out a sigh before putting her hands around James' wrists and pushing his hands away from her chest.

"James, I told you I had a lot of work to do and you promised you'd be good."

He continued to nip and suck on her neck, his hands moving to lightly grip her hips. It was almost as if he hadn't heard a word she had said. "Baby, please. I need you," he answered in a rough voice, giving her hips a gentle squeeze.

"James, even if I wanted to, I can't. I've got so much work to do and I can't concentrate like this. Maybe you should go home."

"Even if you _wanted_ to?" he sneered at her as he jerked away. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Bella? I thought you loved me. Don't you want to be with me anymore?"

Guilt consumed Bella. She'd known the words weren't true the first time she had spoken them, but she couldn't take it back. If he knew that she'd lied to him, he'd leave her and she'd be all alone. She needed to rectify the situation.

"I'm sorry James," she said as she rose from her chair. "Things are just a bit crazy right now. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it like that. You know I…care about you." She wanted to reassure him, to tell him that she loved him, but her conscience screamed at her, and the words just wouldn't come. Bella knew it was wrong to continue to lie to him this way, yet she couldn't find the strength to turn back from the path she'd already chosen.

She walked over to him and placed her hand on his cheek. His posture instantly relaxed and he uncrossed him arms, allowing them to hang loosely at his sides. James could see the glassiness in her eyes, a sign that she was on the verge of tears. He mistook this as a show of remorse; in actuality, the tears were the product of a fragile young girl that was terrified of being alone.

Bella stood on her toes and kissed him, putting everything she had into that kiss and hoping it was convincing enough. When she felt his hands move around her backside, she knew things would be okay.

"Let's go to my room," she whispered in his ear, taking his hand and leading him down the hall.

~ O ~

Sex was the only way that Bella knew how to prove to James that she loved him. They'd been together several times since that first night, each night was much the same, but without the initial pain. The first time she had thought maybe she was just too nervous to enjoy it, but that wasn't the case. She'd heard other girls talking about tingling and fireworks, but she felt none of that.

Bella started to wonder if maybe there was something intrinsically wrong with her. Rather than dwell on it, she pushed her worries and insecurities to the back of her mind. Bella learned to pretend, wanting James to believe that he was pleasing her. Her insecurities didn't matter as long as James was happy.

She still cried sometimes after James was gone. Most of the time she simply felt numb, as if this was all happening to someone else and she was merely a spectator. Other instances left her hollow and aching. If she were stronger, she would have never allowed their relationship to reach this level. But Bella was weak, consumed by fear and loneliness. She wanted James to love her, because it seemed as if no one else did.

~ O ~

On a typical Friday afternoon, Bella sat in her AP Spanish class, diligently working to complete her exam. Foreign language was definitely not one of her strengths, but she needed the credits to be accepted into a top tier school. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that the girl sitting across from her kept staring her way. Bella turned to look at the girl, wondering why she was staring instead of working on her test.

"Miss Swan, please collect your things and bring your exam to the front of the room," Mr. Mason said in a stern voice.

Unsure of what was going on, Bella hastily grabbed her backpack and test, shuffling towards the front of the room. By now, the rest of the class was no longer working, more interested in what was going on between Bella and her teacher. She felt a heated blush stain her cheeks, embarrassed to be the center of attention.

When she reached Mr. Mason's desk, he took her exam, handed her a folded note, and told her to head to the main office.

"But I wasn't finished," Bella protested.

"_Now_, Miss Swan. Please let the secretary know that I will be down as soon as the bell rings."

Bella simply nodded her head and left the room. She gave the note to the secretary when she entered the office and relayed the information Mr. Mason had given her. The secretary gave her a stern look and told her to be seated.

What transpired after Mr. Mason finally did make it to the office fifteen minutes later was slightly akin to a horror movie, at least from Bella's point of view. Once she was granted entrance into the principal's inner sanctum, she learned that Mr. Mason was accusing her of cheating on her exam. He stated that she would be given no credit for the exam and asked that the incident be filed within her permanent record.

Bella vehemently argued her innocence, fighting back tears as she pleaded for the principal to believe her. Though he seemed to have faith in Mr. Mason's word, he eventually conceded that Bella would simply be given a warning this time. There was nothing in her record to suggest that this was a repeated offense; she was the picture of a model student. Bella would be given no credit for the exam, but could make up some of the points by enrolling in an after-school tutoring program.

The whole incident was strange and made Bella feel as if she was living in a parallel universe. She chalked the whole thing up to some sort of bizarre misunderstanding. It was the first time that she'd ever gotten in trouble at school, though she was thankful to avoid any severe punishment. If this had gone on her permanent record, her chances for Dartmouth would have been ruined.

~ O ~

What Bella didn't know was that the incident wasn't just a simple mistake. In fact, all of her recent misfortunes were the work of one person. Jane had started with simple things, like messing with Isabella's utility bills. It was amazing what a little bit of money could buy, especially when dealing with underpaid staffers at the local utility companies. The greedy bastard that was the manager at Isabella's decrepit apartment complex was more than happy to take a bribe. Even sanitation workers had a price.

Jane had been sure that James would put the pieces together, knowing that these incidents couldn't have been a mere mistake. After waiting several weeks for him to put the pieces together and confront her, Jane finally had a talk with him and confessed her misdeeds. She had hoped he could become incensed and his reaction didn't disappoint.

It was shocking for Jane to learn that, beyond the electricity and water, Isabella hadn't mentioned any of her recent problems to James. No wonder he hadn't confronted her; he didn't realize anything was going on. A maniacal cackle escaped Jane's mouth when James explained that Isabella thought her mother simply wasn't paying the bills.

James had railed on his mother, cursing and threatening her when she revealed what had been going on. His threats fell on deaf ears, however. He could yell and scream all he wanted, but Jane held the power in this little chess match. She promised him that she would continue to make Isabella's life a living nightmare, increasing the severity of her actions with each passing day. Jane shared some of her ideas with James, but assured him that it could all be avoided if he would simply end the relationship.

Jane warned him that there would be repercussions for him as well, if he dallied too long. Though he had access to his trust fund, she was still in control of the money. With one phone call, she could revoke those privileges. It all came down to one choice. What was more important to James: money or Isabella? With a little push, Jane was sure he'd make the right decision.

~ O ~

Only a week after the cheating incident, Bella once again found herself in the principal's office. She sat stiffly in a visitor's chair, desperately trying to stop her knee from bouncing around. Instead, she bit her lip and wiggled her toes, hoping to chase away the knot of nerves in her stomach.

Finally, the principal entered the room, followed by the school guidance counselor. Both had grim looks on their faces, increasing Bella's agitation. She wondered if there had been an accident and something terrible had happened to Renee. Immediately, her mind conjured up images of Renee in an accident, her old Corolla mangled beyond recognition. Or Charlie lying in a pool of his own blood, seeping from a gunshot wound to his chest, the dark liquid staining his police officer's uniform.

"Is something wrong? Is my mom okay? Charlie?" Bella blurted out, her eyes moving frantically between the two adults.

"Calm down, Miss Swan," the principal answered. "While this meeting is of a serious nature, as far as we are aware, your family is fine."

Bella momentarily slumped in the chair, relief coursing through her veins. She had little time to collect herself, however, as the principal began speaking again.

"Do you know a girl in your English class named Tia?"

"Ummm…yeah, I guess. I mean, I know who she is, but I don't really _know_ her," Bella replied, desperately trying to recall the girl's face in her mind.

"That's interesting, because she has leveled some pretty serious accusations against you. This school district has a policy against bullying and it is not something that we take lightly, Miss Swan."

"Bullying? What—I don't understand."

"Tia sought help in the guidance office earlier today, after your shared English class. She claims that you have been harassing her for weeks—calling her names, teasing and threatening her, even demanding that she give you money. And given that this is the second time you've been in this office recently, I'm inclined to believe her."

With that claim, Bella broke down. Sobs wracked her body as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was too upset to even try to control it. Almost immediately, she felt the guidance counselor, Ms. Molina, kneeling beside her. She rubbed soothing circles on Bella's back and assured her everything would be okay.

Bella heard the door shut and when she was able to pull herself together, she realized the principal had left them alone. Ms. Molina continued to treat Bella with care and concern. Overcome and desperately seeking comfort and affection, Bella found herself confessing everything that had been happening to her. Ms. Molina listened intently as Bella spoke of her mother's distance, missing her father, her relationship with James, and all the recent mistakes and misunderstandings that had plagued her.

Eventually, it was decided that there would only be a warning issued for the bullying allegations, especially since there were no witnesses to corroborate the other student's story. Ms. Molina also suggested that Bella make time to stop by her office at least once a week. The guidance counselor felt such empathy for Bella and desperately wanted to help her in any way she could.

Oddly enough, when Bella left the office that afternoon, she felt better than she had in weeks.

~ O ~

James paced back and forth in his room, entirely sure that he was wearing his route into the plush carpeting. He was so angry with his mother; he had always known she was a cold-hearted bitch, but this was a new level of evil. The worst part was that she got some sort of sick pleasure out of the whole thing.

_Poor Bella._ She was nothing but sweet and kind, definitely undeserving of the wrath of hell his mother was unleashing upon her. Even without her knowledge of what was transpiring, their relationship was growing more and more strained. James felt like a live wire sometimes, unable to keep his emotions in check. He'd snapped at Bella several times, yelling at her and making her cry. His stomach churned as he thought about her, the look in her eyes when he'd said those harsh things. It was hard to see her cry, but even more so when he knew he was the cause of her tears.

James wished Bella had told him about all the extra bills she had been forced to pay, but understood that embarrassment probably kept her from doing so. He'd have to sneak some money into her hidden sock. He knew if he offered the money, she wouldn't take it, and he knew that she would need it in the next fall.

The bills had been one thing, but now his mother was starting to do things that would affect Bella at school. The first couple of things had been pretty minor, but Jane had much uglier plans already in place. James knew he couldn't allow her to go that far. He couldn't let his mother do something that would keep Bella from going to the college of her choice.

More than the anger, James was truly hurt that his mother could be so callous. She only cared about power and position. She held no remorse for her actions, unconcerned with the repercussions her behavior could have for Bella. The most hurtful, however, was that she didn't seem to care about her own son's happiness.

No matter what anyone thought, James loved Bella. As much as he loved her, however, he had come to realize that this situation was more than he could handle. Loving someone meant protecting them and there was only one way he could achieve that. He would have to stop seeing her; that knowledge left him cold and empty.

He had been debating on how to go about this, knowing that he needed to be harsh and unfeeling. If she questioned him and he let his guard down for even a moment, he knew he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

It sickened James to think that he was essentially choosing money over love, but he knew his mother was ruthless. She didn't back down, and if he tried to maintain his relationship with Isabella for much longer, she would make sure he was left with nothing. Without his trust fund and his parent's support, he would no longer have a place to live or an automobile to drive. He wouldn't be able to attend college or provide for the family he hoped to have one day. That money was essential to his survival.

With his mind made up, he headed toward their home library. He needed to tell his mother to call off the dogs, or at least put them on stand-by. James needed just a little bit more time to prepare himself for what he was about to do—break Bella's heart.

~ O ~

Halloween was one of Bella's favorite holidays. It was an escape for her, a day when she could dress-up and pretend to be whoever she wanted. This year, that alternate persona was a cheerleader.

Bella had been excited to look for costumes, thinking about how fun it would be to go with James as a matching couple. She'd spent hours on the internet, looking at costumes and researching ideas on Halloween websites. She really wanted to do something elaborate.

James, as it turned out, wasn't as excited about playing dress-up. Bella offered several costume suggestions, but he shot them all down. Eventually he suggested that they just go as a jock and a cheerleader. He could wear his old football jersey and varsity jacket. Bella teased that he just wanted to see her in a short skirt, but even that didn't bring much of a smile to his face.

The Halloween party they were attending was actually being hosted by James at his parents' house. When he had first mentioned it, Bella had been fraught with worry, but he quickly explained his parents would be out of town. The party would just be his friends, none of the social climbers his parents enjoyed inviting to such events.

Bella laughed as she thought of appropriate costumes for James' parents. Mrs. Harris could definitely go as the Wicked Witch of the West. She already had that evil laugh down and her husband could be one of her flying monkeys. An evil vampire with beady red eyes also seemed appropriate for Mrs. Harris; she seemed to suck the life right out of everyone around her.

When the night of the party arrived, Bella slipped on her cheerleading uniform. She put her hair up into a high ponytail and wore just a bit of make-up. Sitting on the couch, waiting for James, she realized that he was fifteen minutes late. She grabbed her cell phone to call, but saw she had missed a text from him.

_Won't be able to pick you up. –James_

Frowning, Bella considered not even going to the party. He hadn't even bothered to call and his text didn't say anything about her coming on her own. Still, he was her boyfriend; surely he wanted her to come. Bella would agree that their relationship had been a bit rocky lately, but it wasn't anything serious, was it? Throwing caution to the wind, she called a cab to pick her up.

When Bella arrived at the Harris' home, the party was in full swing. A few people milled about inside, but the majority of the partygoers seemed to be outside near the pool area. Making her way outside, Bella headed in that direction, looking around for James.

As she neared the pool, Bella finally caught sight of James, and what she saw nearly made her heart stop. He wasn't dressed as the football player to compliment her cheerleader. Instead, he was wearing a silk smoking jacket and loafers, obviously imitating Hugh Hefner. If his attire didn't give him away, the buxom blonde bunny that was sitting on his lap definitely did.

Bella's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped out loud. She was shocked to see James staring right at her, his face blank of emotion, a dead look in his eyes. Tears pricked her eyes as she turned and ran as fast as she could.

Bella moved quickly through the house, navigating rooms and trying to dodge the drunken people lingering about. She could hear the curses of some partygoers as she pushed and shoved them out of her way. Finally emerging, she dashed across the front lawn to the sidewalk. It was then that she realized that her escape was ill-planned. The street was completely deserted.

She began frantically digging around in her purse, trying to locate her cell phone. Just as she had pulled it from her bag, she felt someone behind her. Turning, she saw James standing only a few feet from her. Bella decided to ignore him, turning her attention back to her phone. Before she could place her call to the cab company, however, he had moved closer to her, pulling the cell phone from her shaking hands.

The two just stood there for several moments, staring at one another, both too afraid to break the charged silence. Bella was trying to hold onto at least some of her dignity, willing back the tears that wanted so badly to fall. She knew that she should be angry, but in that moment, all she felt was hurt. How could James do such a thing to her? He was supposed to love her.

Bella was shocked by the soft, broken expression that appeared on James' face. It was almost as if he was feeling remorse, but before she had time to ponder it any longer, that expression was gone. In its place was a cold, blank mask. The beautiful blue eyes she'd found so much comfort in were now icy and devoid of emotion. They reminded Bella of Mrs. Harris' eyes, a thought that caused her to shudder. Noticing her trembling, James finally spoke.

"Bella, you shouldn't be here."

"You invited me here. Why? Why did you do this?"

"We're not from the same world, Bella. We don't belong together. I have to start thinking about what's best for me and my family. There are rules and expectations."

"You never cared about any of that stuff before. You said you loved me. If you didn't want me—"

"I don't want you, Bella." None of the things James had said were part of the speech he'd carefully constructed. This wasn't going the way he planned it. He wanted her to be angry, to scream and shout at him. Instead, she was breaking apart from the inside out.

A loud sob ripped from Bella's chest and she could no longer fight off the tears. Out of instinct, James reached forward to comfort her, but she jerked away from his touch. She was frantically shaking her head back and forth, muttering the word "no" over and over again.

The sight before him was almost enough to make James reconsider, but he knew the consequences of continuing their relationship would be far worse. Sure she was would be upset now, but Bella would get over him and find someone who was worthy of her love. Someone like him—someone who could so viciously break her heart—didn't deserve her.

"I'm sorry if I'm being a jerk, but it's better if we aren't together anymore." With those parting words, James turned and went inside his house. No longer interested in the party going on, he retreated to his room to try and mend his own broken heart. He hoped his mother was happy now. She was the only one.

~ O ~

Bella didn't know how long she stood there on the sidewalk, her arms protectively wrapped around her torso. Eventually she was able to pull herself together enough to call a cab. Not only had she been dumped tonight, but in the most humiliating manner possible. He didn't even have the decency to break up with her before he started seeing someone else.

While she knew she wasn't in love with James, she still felt like someone had punched a giant hole through her chest. He was the only person in her life that she could depend on and now he was gone. Loathing and self-doubt consumed Bella and she wondered how she would survive this. She'd always been so cautious, never opening herself up to the people around her. The first time she decided to try, this was how it ended. Was it really worth this much pain?

~ O ~

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**A/N:** As always, huge thanks to my beta, lislar. She keeps me in check.

Reviewers get a teaser for chapter 6. I try to reply to each review and I apologize if I missed anyone last chapter. There was epic fail with notifications.

This week's fic recs:

Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle – Full of angst and heartfail, but I love it just the same.

Hints of Me by 22blue – Two words: Mr. Multiple.


	6. Clarity

SM owns Twilight. Super long A/N at the end.

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**Chapter 6: Clarity**

In the days that followed being dumped by James, Bella spent an unhealthy amount of time in her room, curtains drawn, locked away from the world. Though she felt hurt, mostly she felt anger—at herself, at James, and at the situation in general. She couldn't understand why he'd done this to her, and all in such a cruel manner, with all of his friends as spectators to her humiliation.

Maybe he'd come to realize that she didn't love him like she said, not in the way that he loved her. He must have been hurt by this; in turn, he wanted to hurt her in the same way. She'd tried so hard to make herself fall in love with him. People fell in and out of love all of the time. Why couldn't she do it so easily?

Bella wondered if she just wasn't meant to truly be loved by anyone. Her father seemed to care about her, but he lived on the other side of the country. He'd never once asked her to live with him, never protested when she stopped visiting regularly. She lived with Renee, yet she barely saw her mother. She'd never had any close friends, never bonded with anyone as she grew up—not in any of the towns they'd lived in or in any of the schools she'd attended.

Then James had come along. He had said that he loved her, but he didn't seem to have any issue with leaving her. Was it really so easy to cast aside the one you loved? Bella could hardly blame him. She was shy and awkward, painfully average and boring. There was nothing special about her. She wondered why he ever wasted his time on her at all.

She didn't deserve anyone's love, especially not his. He was smart and funny, charismatic and wealthy. He deserved someone beautiful and unique. Those words would never be used to describe Bella Swan. She was meant to be alone.

Bella returned to the solitary existence she'd once led, only this time she felt even lonelier than before. Sometimes she found herself forgetting—grabbing her phone to send James a text about her evening plans, or just to see what he was doing. Little things would remind her of him and she often found herself choking back tears. The blue of the sky reminded her of his eyes. The beach made her think of their first date, when he'd tricked her onto a bodyboard. She couldn't even drown her sorrows in ice cream because it reminded her of the way they met.

~ O ~

Days turned into weeks and with nothing to do with her time, Bella threw herself into her schoolwork. She spent hours in the library, pouring through books and research. She meticulously plotted and planned each assignment, not satisfied until it was deemed perfect in her eyes. She continued to look for another job and filled out applications for colleges she really had no interest in. Bella did anything to keep her mind occupied, trying hard to forget that she was alone once again. She settled into a lonely, but functional routine. She was coping as best she could, trying to just endure, but things soon went from bad to worse.

For the past two weeks, Bella had felt a little under the weather, like she'd caught a virus or the flu, probably from one of the kids at school. She'd fought with chronic bouts of nausea, terrible headaches, and just an overall feeling of unease. She briefly wondered if she was developing migraines, the nausea and vomiting a product of the constant throbbing in her head.

Looking in the mirror, she scrutinized the pallor of her skin. It was more sallow than usual, devoid of the usual pink undertones. There were puffy bags underneath her eyes, darkened from the lack of sleep. Bella's hair, having gone unwashed for three days, was flat and matted to her head. She looked like a corpse—cold and lifeless.

Bella opened up the medicine cabinet, searching for something to dull her pain. Advil might be able to lessen the ache within her body, but it would do nothing to mend her broken heart. As she reached for the bottle of pills, her eyes drifted to her box of tampons…her unopened box of tampons. She quickly slammed the cabinet shut, sliding down to sit on the bathroom rug.

Rubbing her hands roughly across her face, Bella let out and exasperated sigh. This couldn't be happening—not to her! She hadn't been on birth control, but they'd used condoms every single time and she didn't remember one breaking. It wasn't even like they'd been together that many times; she could count the instances on her fingers. Bella had always been very meticulous about her safety, but even she knew that condoms weren't completely effective. Of course she'd be unlucky enough to fall into their miniscule percentage of failure.

Pulling herself up off of the floor, she pushed her jeans low and pulled her top up, examining her stomach from all angles. She didn't look any different. In her heart though, she knew that something just wasn't right. Bella sniffled a little, but she knew she needed to keep her fears at bay, at least until she was sure.

~ O ~

Riding the city bus to the pharmacy had been a less than pleasant experience. Her thoughts had been so muddled when she left; in shock, she'd simply shoved some money into her pocket before bounding out the door, not bothering to grab a purse or bag.

The thin plastic bag they'd given her at CVS had done little in the way of concealing her purchases. She could feel the stares of the other passengers of the bus, examining her closely. Bella tried her best to conceal the bag, but _Clearblue Easy_, _e·p·t_, and _First Response_ were clearly visible.

Once she arrived home, Bella grabbed a paper cup and the egg timer from the kitchen, along with a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She sipped on the water as she read the instructions for each test…three times, just to be sure. By the time she finished reading, the water had made its way through her system. She nervously filled the paper cup to half capacity, then gently swirled the tip of each stick, replacing the caps on the ends. After using all three tests, Bella cleaned up her mess, thoroughly scrubbed her hands, and set the timer for five minutes.

Bella sat nervously on the bathroom floor, wondering if her life was about to change. She tried to think of something else, anything to occupy her mind, but all she could concentrate on were the loud ticks of the timer, counting down to her impending doom.

As she sat on the floor, she tried to think of anything but what this could possibly mean for her. Bella didn't even want to consider the possibility that the tests might be positive, that there was a baby growing inside of her. She didn't even realized that she'd rested her hand on her stomach.

Closing her eyes, Bella thought about moving away in the fall, about college. She imagined how different it would be. She dreamed of making friends and finally feeling like she belonged, of a handsome man that she would fall in love with without even trying. He would adore her, someone finally able to see who she really was. These were the things she wanted for herself and a baby most definitely didn't fit into the equation.

The ding of the timer broke Bella from her daydream. She rose from the floor slowly. Her legs felt shaky and unreliable, like those of a newborn baby deer. She picked the test sticks up from the counter, staring blankly at the results.

_plus sign_

:)

_Pregnant_

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no," Bella whispered to no one. She placed her hand tightly over her mouth, trying to stop the screams that wanted to erupt from her throat. This was wrong. Those tests couldn't be accurate. She must have done something to cause them to give her a false positive. With shaking hands, she grabbed the instructions again, skimming through them at a frantic pace. Tears rolled down her cheeks, marring the tiny black print. She shook her head back and forth as she tried to find some way to make this all okay.

Finding nothing to absolve her, she could no longer contain the broken sobs that ripped from her chest. Bella could almost feel her heart breaking. She imagined the large pieces falling to the grubby tile floor, shattering into tiny shards. Feeling like she could no longer stand, she stumbled to her room and collapsed onto the bed, still clutching the three positive results in her fist.

The goals Bella had hoped to achieve flashed before her eyes, now broken dreams that would never see fruition. There would be no Dartmouth; there probably wouldn't even be college. She'd never become a teacher. She'd never marry the man of her dreams in a church while wearing a pretty white dress. Girls like her wore ivory and got married at city hall; shotguns were sometimes involved.

As she contemplated her future, the visions changed. Bella no longer saw herself. Instead she saw her mother. _Renee_ struggling to pay the rent. _Renee_ going from one dead end job to the next. _Renee_ chasing all the wrong men in her search for Mr. Right. Was this what her life would become—everything she'd always told herself she would never be?

The gravity of the situation weighed heavily upon Bella's heart. What would she do? How was she going to tell James? He wanted nothing to do with her; he wouldn't want their baby either. Jacksonville was a big city and there were places she could go to…get rid of it, but even the thought of such an act brought a painful tightening to her chest. Bella knew that she was emotionally too weak; she would never be able to deal with the guilt she would feel if she allowed herself to take that route.

Maybe she could give the baby away once it came, put it up for adoption. She was sure there were plenty of lovely couples out there that would be happy to have her baby as their own. As she considered this path, she thought about the tiny life that was forming inside of her. It would be in there for nine months, growing and moving. She could imagine her stomach expanding, feeling the flutter of her baby kicking for the first time. Experiencing all of that, would she really just be able to hand it over? To give away a living, breathing part of her? This left her with only one option.

Eventually the tears would no longer come and Bella simply felt numb, like she had nothing left to give. The weight of her mistake overtook her and she fell into an exhausted slumber.

~ O ~

Shortly before midnight, Renee stumbled into the apartment. She'd just come from the airport, dropping Phil off to catch his flight. He was taking a red eye to New York, attending some baseball camp. Renee was upset that he would be gone for two weeks, but she hoped this was the jumpstart his career so desperately needed. If he ever made it to the Majors, they'd be set.

Renee paused as she passed Bella's room, wondering why the door was open and the lights were shining brightly. Her daughter was always asleep by this time, the door closed and her room bathed in nothing more than the moonlight. Softly stepping inside, Renee found Bella asleep on top of the covers, still wearing her shoes and jacket.

There had been a change in Bella's demeanor lately; even Renee, who rarely paid attention to anyone besides herself, had noticed. Bella seemed withdrawn and depressed, more so than usual. Renee wondered if it had something to do with that blond kid; she hadn't seen him hanging around in a while.

In a rare moment of motherly concern, Renee gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. She removed Bella's shoes, reasoning that there was nothing she could do about the jacket, not wanting to wake her sleeping child. She pulled a throw from nearby, placing it on top of Bella. As she moved to turn off the lamp, something curled in Bella's hand caught her eye.

~ O ~

Bella rubbed her eyes furiously, trying to coax them into adjusting to the bright lights of her bedroom. She'd been awoken abruptly, pulled from her slumber by her mother's screeching wail.

"What in the hell is this, Bella?!?!" Renee screamed, though she never gave Bella time to answer the question. She continued to yell and pace the floor, her arms flailing wildly through the air. She had all three pregnancy tests clutched tightly in her hand.

"How could you be so stupid? You could have gotten birth control at the free clinic, or…Jesus, the morning after pill. How could you let this happen? Are you going to answer me?!?!"

Renee stood there glaring and Bella withered under her gaze, like a beautiful flower wilting in the hot summer sun. There was no explanation to be given, no reasoning behind this nightmare—only muttered apologies from a fragile young woman.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered. "I didn't…I just—" but she was cut off by Renee.

"Do you know what this is going to do to your life, Bella? Ruin it! You won't be able to go to college with a baby, you'll never find a good job, and you'll never find a husband. No decent man wants a woman with some snot-nosed brat trailing along behind her."

Renee continued to rant and rave, but Bella simply tuned her out. Whereas she saw this pregnancy as her accident, she would always be Renee's mistake—an unwelcome child that was the result of an unwanted pregnancy. She'd always known her conception hadn't been planned, but she never realized the depth of her mother's resentment.

Bella had always felt her mother was cold and distant, but she'd always attributed it to Renee being a young mother. She'd had no previous experience and no one to guide her in nurturing and caring for a child. The gap between mother and daughter had only grown as Bella had gotten older. Maybe it was naivety or stupidity, but Bella had never considered that her mother just didn't want her.

The pain of this revelation cut like a knife deep within Bella's already fractured heart. She'd tried for so long to forge a better relationship with her mother, wanting to be more like close friends or sisters even. Instead, her efforts were always met with disdain. Bella had always been shoved aside, always been an afterthought to whatever scheme her mother was concocting. She was always second best.

Tears should have fallen, but instead Bella felt a sense of peace, as if everything in her life suddenly made sense. It was clear to her that she would never be enough, at least not for Renee. She'd wasted so much time trying to gain her mother's love and affection. She realized that no matter what she did, that was never going to happen. If she wasn't worthy of her own mother's love, how could she ever expect anyone else to genuinely care about her?

Then she thought about the baby—_her_ baby. Even if no one else ever loved her, her child would. In that moment, Bella made a promise to herself…and to her unborn baby. She would always put her child first, sacrificing all to make sure it was loved, protected, and cared for. Her own needs and desires would take a backseat. Her child would never feel like a mistake, but a happy and unexpected surprise.

Strong in her resolve, Bella looked up to find Renee staring her down, a menacing look in her eyes.

"Are you even listening to me? I said do you even know who it belongs to? Is it that blond boy…Jamie, Jimmie, whatever the hell that rich kid's name is?"

"Yes."

"Well, get your shoes back on. And hurry up. I didn't make this mess and I'm sure as hell not going to be the one to clean it up."

"Wait—what?" Bella asked in confusion, unable to decipher what Renee's ramblings meant.

"We're going to his house, Bella. I know that kid's family has money. He wears designer clothes and he's always buying stuff for you. They can afford to take care of this."

Panic bubbled up in Bella's chest. Her heart thumped rapidly and her stomach gurgled in unease. Maybe she could reason with Renee, diffuse the situation until she could come up with a better plan than this one.

"It's nearly one o'clock in the morning. And James doesn't even know yet. Can't we wait until—"

"No, we're not waiting. This gets taken care of tonight. Now get your damn shoes on!"

~ O ~

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**A/N:** My beta, lislar, is awesome. Please check out her stories if you already haven't!

Some of you might have been expecting this; others not so much. But I hope you aren't disappointed in the path this story has taken. I promise I have a plan. Just stick with me here.

Several people wondered last chapter why James didn't just break-up with Bella or tell her what was going on. James shares a lot of similarities to New Moon Edward. (That info might be beneficial for later on as well.) He knew a simple break-up just wouldn't do it. He needed Bella to think he no longer wanted to be with her. If she hated him, she would stay away. As for the manner in which he orchestrated it—well, Jane is his mother. Even if he wants to change and be different from his family, the lack of a moral compass has been ingrained in him since childhood. Sometimes it's hard to overcome that, no matter how hard you try.

Finally, the fabulous m81170 and I have started our own little website. http://www(dot)twificpics(dot)com The site focuses on graphics, so if you are a creator or just like look at pretty things, stop on by. We have tutorials, resource lists, and a forum.


	7. The Cold November Rain

I don't own Twilight. Huge thanks, as always, to my beta, lislar!

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**Chapter 7: The Cold November Rain**

The drive to the Harris' family home was spent in terse silence. Renee white-knuckled the steering wheel while Bella stared at her lap, nervously twiddling her thumbs. Her stomach clenched painfully; several times she almost asked Renee to pull over, fearful that this evening's dinner was making its way back up her throat.

The house was silent and dark upon their arrival, the lighted walkway casting an eerie glow. To Bella, it looked like a lighted path straight into the fiery pits of Hell. Renee parked her car haphazardly, grabbing Bella's arm and tugging her along as she marched towards the door. Bella struggled to keep up, tripping over her own feet and invisible cracks within the pavement. Renee's hand was tight around her forearm; she was sure there would be a bruise there later.

When they reached the door, Renee rang the doorbell multiple times. After several moments with no answer, she began to repeatedly ring the bell as she furiously pounded on the door with a closed fist. A few lights flipped on and illuminated the darkness before Mr. Harris came to the door, clad in silk pajamas and an expensive pair of slippers. If the circumstances had been different, Bella might have laughed at his sleepwear choice. Instead, she dropped her head and stared at her shoes.

"It's nearly two o'clock in the morning. What is the meaning of this intrusion?" Mr. Harris bellowed. The family's butler, Laurent, quickly appeared behind Mr. Harris, but was just as suddenly dismissed.

"My daughter's knocked up, courtesy of your son," Renee blurted out. She was never one for tact and Bella was embarrassed by her insensitive outburst.

Mr. Harris sighed as he opened the door wide and stepped aside, motioning for them to enter. He led them through the entrance to a small library. Mrs. Harris came sauntering through another door, wearing ostentatious pink pajamas and looking positively off-put. Her hair was sleek and smooth, looking as if she'd just come from the salon and not the bedroom. Her feet were clad in feathered slippers with a kitten heel. Having only seen those shoes in movies, Bella once again fought the inappropriate urge to laugh.

"Marcus, darling, what is the meaning of all this noise?"

"Well, Jane, it seems that…ummm…Isabella here is pregnant."

"Oh, God. That's what they woke us up for? Just write her a check to cover the cost of the procedure," she replied, waving her hand in dismissal. She looked Bella over, her lip curled in obvious disgust. "Maybe a little extra for pain and suffering." Jane huffed and rolled her eyes as she sat down in a wingback chair.

Laurent suddenly appeared once more, balancing a tray of tea and snacks. He sat it on the table in front of Bella, pouring a cup and handing it to her.

"It'll help with the nausea," he whispered with a wink. Bella gave him a smile in return, thankful for his kindness.

Moments later, James stumbled into the doorway, squinting his eyes and scratching his head. He looked thoroughly confused. His t-shirt and shorts were wrinkled, his hair wild from sleep.

"Bella?" he asked. "What's going on?"

"Nothing that concerns you, darling," Jane answered with a sickening smile. "It seems that Bella here has gotten herself into a bit of a situation. She and her mother were hoping we might help sort it out. It's all taken care of. Now go on back to bed, dear."

"Situation? What kind of—"

"She's pregnant," Renee once again blurted out, cutting off James' questioning.

Bella wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She stared into her cup, watching the ripples in the tea caused by her trembling hands. She could feel James' heated gaze, imagining his eyes were full of hate and fury. Bella couldn't look at him. She dropped her head even further, allowing her hair to fall around her face like a curtain.

"Bella?" he asked once more. Hearing the pleading in his voice, she couldn't stop herself from looking up. A single tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek. James continued to stare at her, his eyes wide and full of confusion.

Unable to speak, Bella nodded her head back and forth. She crossed her arms over her torso, feeling as if her insides were splitting apart. Her chest felt heavy, like she was suffocating. Letting out a strangled gasp, Bella realized she'd forgotten to breathe. She dropped her head once more and closed her eyes, trying to wish away the world around her.

A warm hand on her knee pulled her back from the recesses of her mind. Without looking, she knew who it was, but she couldn't look at him. James pulled her arm away from her tiny waist, twining their fingers together. His other hand moved from her knee, reaching up to tenderly wipe away the tears that were cascading down her face.

"Bella," he whispered once more.

Finally, she opened her eyes. He was looking at her with such tenderness and love. She couldn't understand how he could cast her away so easily, not when he could still look at her like that.

"James, I told you this was taken care of. Go back to bed. _Now._" Jane stated through gritted teeth.

James closed his eyes and inhaled a shaky breath. It had been so hard for him to leave Bella before, but knowing that she was carrying his child, he didn't know if he could continue this lie—continue to let her believe that he didn't love her, that he didn't want her. Giving Bella's hand a small squeeze, he turned to face his mother.

He expected to see angry red eyes, full of vengeance and wrath, but Jane looked eerily calm. In the dim lighting of the library, her irises were dark as coals, matching the shade of her blacked heart.

"This changes everything," James said as he squared his shoulders, wanting to be strong for Bella.

"It changes nothing," Jane replied. "This whole thing can be taken care of in a matter of minutes with a trip to the doctor's office."

"But—"

"But nothing. It's your choice, James. The rules are the same."

The rules might have been the same, but for a completely different game. James wanted to do the right thing, to stand by Bella…but he just couldn't do it. He'd foolishly thought that the news of a baby—_his_ baby—would make his mother change her mind, make her see that he was meant to be with Bella. Jane, of course, only saw this as a minor distraction, a small bump in the road. She could care less about how he felt, whether or not he wanted to be a part of his child's life.

In their relationship, he'd always viewed Bella as weak, needing his protection from the wolf at the door. When his mother started messing with her life, however, she'd just dealt with the problems as they came along, never complaining and never questioning. When his mother started messing with his life—his money and his car—he couldn't take it. He turned tail and ran like the coward he was.

Now, he was going to do it again, only this time there was even more at stake. He hoped Bella had enough left in her to make it through this. He wanted to say something to her, to make her understand, but he didn't think he could handle seeing the disappointment and hurt in her big brown eyes.

"Goodnight, Mother," he choked out before exiting the room.

A stunned silence settled within the confines of the extravagant room. Bella sat there wondering how James could rush to her side one moment and abandon her in the next. Before she really had to time to process what had just happened and the ramifications of James' departure, she heard Mr. Harris loudly clear his throat. He had moved to sit behind a desk, pulling a checkbook and fountain pen from the drawer.

"How much?" he asked, looking at Bella as he awaited an answer.

"How much for what?" Bella replied, looking to her mother in confusion.

"Well, for the abortion and whatever—"

"Abortion? I'm not having an abortion."

"Oh, dear God," Jane lamented. "Laurent, fetch me a martini. All of this nonsense is going to give me a headache."

Everyone else was sitting there in silence, staring at Bella. She felt meek and alone, wishing that James or even Laurent was still in the room. She moved her hand to her stomach, ready to fight to protect the tiny life growing inside of her. She squared her shoulders and sat up straight, looking Mrs. Harris right in the eye.

"I'm keeping my baby."

~ O ~

Moments later, Bella was shuffled into the kitchen with Laurent for more tea and crackers. Renee was still in the library with Mr. and Mrs. Harris, trying to work out some sort of agreement. Bella was annoyed to be kept from the discussion, as if all of this wasn't happening to her.

Laurent sat with Bella, gingerly patting her on the back and hoping his presence would at least calm some of her anxiety. He'd never had the pleasure to meet the girl before, but he'd seen her at the end of summer party. One look at her and he immediately knew she was nothing more than a sweet young girl. Now, seeing her here like this, he felt compelled to protect her.

He'd noticed a change in James from the time he'd started seeing Bella. It was easy for Laurent to see that James was in love with her. He'd hoped this girl would be the wake-up call James needed to break away from the life his parent's wanted for him. James wasn't perfect, but he was a decent young man and deserved to be able to live his life as he pleased.

Without even being told, Laurent had known when James and Bella had broken-up. His change in demeanor was evident to everyone around. It was also evident that Mrs. Harris had gotten exactly what she wanted. Laurent wasn't exactly sure what happened, but he'd heard rumblings within the house staff. None of the rumors were particularly pleasant, which led Laurent to believe they were probably true. Mrs. Harris was the most cold-hearted woman he'd ever come in contact with.

Though Mrs. Harris would likely fire them all if she heard the things said of her, the house staff still loved a juicy bit of gossip. The maids were particularly sneaky and always had the most information. Siobhan, an Irish immigrant, had overhead Mrs. Harris speaking to a private investigator. The man had been hired to find out all he could about Isabella and her family. When he basically could find nothing of interest in her past, Jane was livid. Her screams echoed throughout the first floor of the home.

It was no secret from the very beginning that Mrs. Harris despised Isabella Swan, not because of what she was, but because of what she wasn't. Jane had her eyes set on a girl for James and that girl was nothing like Bella. The girl was tall and blonde, from a wealthy political family. Jane didn't care whether James liked her or not; she looked at it all as a simple business merger. The joining of their families would give Mr. Harris just the extra bump he needed to secure his political future. Jane had visions of the White House and she would not be denied in her quest to attain that dream.

Bella continued to sip on her tea and nibble on the salty crackers Laurent had provided her. Her mind raced through different scenarios and she wondered how she was going to do this all alone. James had left her once more, obviously wanting nothing to do with her or their child. Realizing that he really didn't love her anymore brought more pain to Bella's heart, but the most heart-wrenching detail of all was that he didn't love their baby either.

~ O ~

Soon enough, Renee reappeared and summoned Bella to follow her to their car. She gave no explanation of the events within the library and Bella was too scared to ask about what had happened in her absence. As they walked down the pathway toward the car, Bella heard someone behind her, calling out her name.

"Bella! Wait!" James yelled as he emerged from the far side of the house. Bella turned to face him, unsure of what his sudden reappearance meant.

"Bella, I'm sorry. If I could change things, I would, but my parents… If I go against them, they'll take away my trust fund and—"

"—and money is more important than me," she finished for him, a hint of venom in her voice.

"No, but without that money and their support, I won't be able to go to college or anything."

"So we both caused this, yet I'm the only one to suffer the consequences."

"Bella, I know you don't understand, but it's better this way," he said as he reached out to take her hand.

"Just don't," she whispered as she pulled away from him. She walked silently to her mother's car, leaving James standing alone on the sidewalk. Bella held her tears at bay until the car had pulled from the Harris' driveway, racing through the dark city streets.

Was that all it really came down to—money? Bella had often wondered what it would be like to be rich, to be able to buy whatever she wanted and takes trips on a whim. She'd always imagined it to be a glamorous life, full of happiness and fun. But seeing what that lifestyle actually meant and what it did to those within its path, she realized that she wanted no part of it.

Bella wasn't sure what situation the coming months would bring, but she knew things couldn't get much worse. Still trying to process the events of the evening, she was shocked by the words that left Renee's mouth.

"Well, I think that went pretty well."

~ O~

The next few days passed in relative silence. Renee was in and out of the apartment, bustling about in a seemingly pleasant mood. There had still been no discussion about what occurred behind closed doors at the Harris' house. Renee didn't seem eager to talk and Bella wasn't sure if she was ready to hear it. She had held out hope that James might attempt to contact her, but she hadn't even received so much as a text.

Bella spent her days in her room, lounging in bed. She tried to read, but spent most of her time sleeping or just staring at the walls. She didn't even care about the days of school she was missing. There was so much information running through her head and she found it impossible to concentrate.

She forced herself to eat. Though the smell of food made her nauseous and it was hard to swallow with the huge lump in her throat, she knew she needed the nutrients—if not for herself, then for her baby. Most things didn't' want to stay down, but she found that if she started her morning with ginger ale and saltine crackers, she could at least hold down chicken broth later in the day.

Bella cried almost nonstop those first few days, but her tear ducts eventually dried up. Her eyes remained swollen and puffy. She stayed in sweats and old t-shirts, not even having the energy to take a shower. Her hair became greasy and limp. She refused to look in the mirror, but she was sure her appearance was frightful.

~O~

Almost a week after that fateful night, Bella was awoken to the sounds of beating and banging within her closet. She opened her eyes to see Renee haphazardly pulling clothes from their hangers and shoving them into an open suitcase on the floor.

"Renee, what are you doing?"

"Good, you're awake. Get up and get a shower. You have to be at the airport in a couple of hours."

Bella sat up in the bed, staring at her mother. As usual, Renee had plotted out some elaborate scheme and left her completely in the dark. Sensing Bella's frustration, Renee sat down on the edge of the bed, deciding to give her daughter at least some sort of an explanation.

"Look, I'm sending you to Forks to live with your father. I've already spoken to Charlie and he's agreed to take you in. You can have the baby there and finish high school. If you stay here and have the baby, someone could find out, and that would cause problems for the Harris family.

"James doesn't want anything to do with this situation, so we all thought this was for the best. They've already spoken to a lawyer and once you have the baby, someone will come to Forks to complete the paperwork. James will sign over his rights to the baby."

"And what if that's not what I want?"

"Bella, I have no desire to take care of some screaming, needy baby. Charlie won't mind. James' family has money, power, and influence here. I'm sure that if you don't abide by their wishes, they'd have no problem taking your baby from you. Is _that_ what you want?"

Bella could only shake her head. Though it had only been a week since she realized she was pregnant, she already loved her baby. She would do whatever she had to do in order to protect it, especially from James and his Stepford family.

~ O ~

Late that night, as Bella's plane touched down in Seattle, she was almost too exhausted to be nervous. She'd only brought one suitcase with her. The rest of her stuff would arrive later that week. Most of her clothes weren't appropriate for the cold and wet of Forks anyway. Plus, she was sure none of them would fit in a couple of months as her stomach would grow to epic proportions.

As Bella exited her gate, she immediately saw Charlie standing off to the side with a Native American woman. The woman had russet-colored skin and long black hair. Bella immediately noticed the woman's close proximity to Charlie, her hand resting in the crook of his elbow. Bella pondered what this woman's relationship was with her father, wondering if Charlie had a girlfriend he'd failed to mention.

She felt like such a disappointment. This was not the reunion she expected to have with her father. He must have felt the same, shamed by his prodigal daughter, returning home pregnant and alone. This definitely wasn't the first impression she wanted to give this unknown woman either.

Charlie soon spotted Bella, their identical brown eyes meeting. She expected to see disappointment in his eyes. She'd imagined him giving her a grim, half-hearted smile, but what she saw on his face was genuine happiness. Without stopping to think, she ran into her father's waiting arms.

As Charlie held her close, tears leaked from Bella's eyes. His embrace was comforting and warm. Bella smiled as she pulled away, noticing the wet spot from on her tears that stained the dark fabric of his police officer's uniform. Looking at the woman standing beside of Charlie, Bella noticed there were tears in her eyes as well. Before she had a chance to doubt herself, Bella turned and hugged her too.

Moments later, Bella was properly introduced to Sue. Her first instinct had been correct; this woman was Charlie's girlfriend. After enduring all of Renee's boyfriends throughout the years, Bella thought she would be annoyed, but instead felt genuine happiness for her father. He was a good man and deserved someone to love him and have that love returned.

The long ride back to Forks was relatively quiet and Bella was thankful that Charlie had driven Sue's car and not the cruiser. She sat in the back, envious of the love and devotion so evident between Charlie and Sue, their hands clasped tightly together and resting on the center console. It was the kind of love she someday hoped to find for herself, though the prospects now looked even more bleak.

Bella soon drifted off to sleep, waking just in time to see the "Welcome to Forks" sign on the edge of the city limits. Moments later, they were pulling into the driveway of Charlie's little house.

Charlie escorted Bella up the stairs, to the bedroom that she would now call her own. He'd purchased new furniture, items more appropriate for a teenage girl. There was a new bed, a desk, a dresser, and a set of matching bookcases. Sue had also contributed to the space, picking out the purple bedding that covered the bed. She'd hung Chinese lanterns from the ceiling and placed some art prints on the wall. Bella knew that once the rest of her belongings arrived, she'd feel right at home in the space.

Exhausted from both the pregnancy and a long day spent traveling, Bella collapsed onto her new bed once she was alone. She didn't even take the time to wash her face or brush her teeth. She barely managed to pull off her shoes and jeans, crawling under the covers in only her t-shirt and underwear.

~ O ~

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**A/N:** Finally, she makes it to Forks! And I think we all know who lives there. :)

Jane's martini request was brought to you courtesy of m81170. And, once again, huge thanks to lislar for being a super awesome beta.

Reviewers get a teaser and I'm also trying to remember to send a different one to The Fictionators each week. I also send out random bits of info on twitter. Ms_ambrosia10, if anyone wants to follow. And don't forget to check out http://twificpics(dot)com.

Some Momella/Dadward recs for this week :

Fire & Ice by Ancora Imparo 83 – Bella and Edward are both surgeons. He has a giant stick up his ass and she has a teenage daughter.

Such Great Heights by SydneyAlice – Bella is the nanny to Edward's son, Riley. And just wait until you meet Edward's soon-to-be ex-wife.

Relative Wind by Mac214 – A May/December romance and a Dilfward with an unexpected twist.


	8. Lost in the Translation

Because yesterday was Reader Appreciation Day and I'm so grateful for you all, I am posting a couple of days early this week. :)

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.

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**Chapter 8: Lost in the Translation**

The next morning, Bella was awoken by the sound of rain pattering against the tin of Charlie's quaint home. The sky was dark and grey, a misty haze settling over everything. The dreary atmosphere was a perfect match for Bella's mood and a welcome change from the sunny beaches of Florida. The sun was still low in the sky, hinting at the early morning, but Bella could already hear the sounds of people moving about downstairs.

Having spent most of the previous day in the congested atmosphere of an airplane, Bella felt grimy. Since the revelation of her pregnancy, she'd taken a fairly lackadaisical approach to her personal hygiene, wallowing in bed for days and foregoing showers. She was determined, however, to make a fresh start here in her new surroundings. Gathering her toiletries and some clothes, she headed for the shared bathroom in the hallway.

Opening her bedroom door, her senses were immediately assaulted by the smell of bacon frying. A smell that once made her mouth water in the early morning hours was now too much for her queasy stomach to handle. She clasped her hand quickly over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that the nausea would abate for just a moment.

"Bella, sweetie, are you okay?" she heard Sue ask. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw Sue moving down the hall towards her, gently reaching out to touch her forehead and cheeks. "You're not running a fever, but you feel a little clammy." Bella felt her stomach lurch and churn once again as Sue continued to stare, eyeing her with a quizzical look.

Unable to hold it in any longer, Bella bolted for the bathroom without a word, littering the hallway with her clothing. She reached the toilet just in time, expelling what little amount of food was in her stomach. The dry heaves continued for several moments, causing her insides to clench painfully.

Exhaling a soft sigh, Bella cradled her head in the crook of her arm, still resting on the bathroom floor. She was startled when she felt a cool cloth be placed upon the back of her neck, a soft hand rubbing her back in comfort and reassurance. She was even more surprised when she glanced beside her to see Sue kneeling on the floor, love and concern shining in her dark eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes," Bella stuttered. "I think I'll be okay after I shower."

Sue gave her one more gentle pat on the back before rising and exiting the tiny bathroom. Bella stood slowly, hoping that her early morning sickness had passed. She turned to move back into the hall, to gather the clothes she had dropped in her hasty retreat. She was shocked, however, to see them all neatly folded and placed by the sink, her toiletry bag resting atop them. For the first time in a long time, she smiled a genuine smile, wondering if this was the sort of motherly affection she'd been missing her whole life.

~ O ~

After staying in the shower until the water ran cold, Bella dressed and headed down the stairs. She could hear the quiet shuffle of plates and the low murmur of voices coming from the kitchen. Sue and Charlie were sitting at the table, eating breakfast and sharing the local newspaper. Bella sat down in an unoccupied chair, once again overwhelmed by the kindness that had been displayed since her arrival. Sitting in front of her were two slices of dry toast and a small glass of orange juice.

"Morning, Bella," Charlie said without even looking up from the sports section. Bella mumbled a reply, continuing to nibble on her toast. Charlie cleared his throat as he folded up the newspaper, giving Bella a stern look.

She stopped eating, choosing to bite her lip instead. Of course, she should have known this was all too good to be true. Charlie and Sue had been so kind to her since her arrival, but she felt like the other shoe was about to drop. Were they going to try to make her get rid of her baby, too? Or force her to give it away?

Bella looked back and forth between Charlie and Sue in a panic, trying to figure out exactly where this conversation was going. Sue looked slightly concerned, but Charlie's face was a blank mask. Bella wondered if this was the same face he used when interrogating crooks and criminals. A knot formed in her stomach as she waited with bated breath for what was to come.

"We both know why Renee sent you here, though she wasn't sure on all the details about what you'd gotten yourself into down there in Jacksonville. I guess the specifics don't really matter. What matters is that you're here now and you've got a chance to get your life back on track.

"Based on what Renee told me, I just can't trust you, Bella. Therefore, your privileges here are going to be very limited, at least until you can earn some of my trust back. The drinking, the drugs, the parties—none of that stuff will be tolerated here."

Bella nearly gasped out loud. Drinking? _Drugs?_ Her head spun in confusion. She'd been around James' friends a few times when they were smoking pot, but she would never touch that stuff. And the only time she'd ever had any alcohol was on her birthday. Why would Charlie think she was on drugs?

_Renee._

_Of course. _

"But, I—" Bella started, but Charlie cut her off.

"No buts, just listen. These rules aren't negotiable right now, but if I see a positive change in you, we can revisit this discussion at a later time. Sue or I will drive you to school and pick you up each day. You may attend school-sponsored activities, but they need to be approved by me first. You can also have friends over, but only if Sue or I are here to supervise the visit.

"I've also spoken to the administration at the high school. I didn't give them the details of your situation, just let them know that you'd had some difficulties recently. They've agreed to give you a bit of time to get yourself acclimated to your new living arrangement. You won't be expected in classes until after the Thanksgiving holiday."

Charlie once again gave her a pointed stare, obviously waiting for some kind of argument, but there was none to give. Bella was so confused. If they thought she was on drugs, Sue probably thought her vomiting was a sign of withdrawal. That meant that neither one of them knew the truth—that she was pregnant.

How was she going to tell them? Would they still want her there if they knew the truth? James had abandoned her and she couldn't go back to Renee. This was her last chance. If Charlie wouldn't let her stay, where would she go and how would she take care of her baby?

"I understand," she finally managed to choke out, still trying to process everything that Charlie had said.

"You've got a couple of weeks before you need to be back in school. Until then, I guess you're just stuck here at the house with me and Sue."

"Bella, if there's anything you need, I'd be happy to take you out to get it. I usually run my errands during the day while Charlie is at work and you are more than welcome to accompany me," Sue added.

Bella simply nodded her head in response, picking up her toast and trying to settle her queasy stomach once more.

~ O ~

The next couple of weeks passed quickly. Bella spent the first few days in her room, sorting out her things and making the place feel like her own. After that, she tried to get to know Charlie better, spending time with both him and Sue. There had been no more discussion about the circumstances that had brought her to Forks and she struggled to act like nothing was wrong.

Since that early morning conversation, Charlie had made no mention of his rules or asked her any questions about her supposed drug use. He'd been nothing short of a doting father, dragging her down to the station to meet some of his co-workers, showing her off like she was his pride and joy. He tried to convince her to join him on an early morning fishing trip, but she had politely declined that invitation, knowing that the motion of the small boat on the water would not be a pleasant sensation for her overwrought stomach. She had joined him for lunch at the local diner, however, on several occasions.

Sue continued to be gentle and kind, allowing Bella to help with grocery shopping and the preparation of meals. She let Bella tag along on her daily trips, whether to the bank, the post office, or one of the shops around town. She'd even driven Bella to La Push one afternoon, showing her the reservation where she'd once lived.

It was easy for Bella to fall into a routine, but her secret began to weigh heavily upon her. She felt more confused and scared than ever. Not only did she need to tell Charlie and Sue the truth, but she also knew she needed to make sure her baby was okay. She had yet to visit the doctor, to find out when she was due or to make sure things were progressing as they should. She worried that something might be wrong with her baby and she wouldn't know before it was too late.

She noticed that Sue watched her closely sometimes, especially when she was fighting with bouts of morning sickness. Sue would also give her odd looks when she was eating, usually when she was giving into one of her bizarre cravings. More than once, Bella had considered confessing her secret, but always stopped short, still not able to completely trust her father's girlfriend.

~ O ~

Days before Thanksgiving, Bella once again woke up with morning sickness. She rushed to the bathroom like always, hovering over the toilet and expelling the meager contents of her stomach. This particular morning, however, she was feeling more emotional than usual. The gravity of her situation weighed heavily upon her heart and she was simply overcome.

Giving in to what she was feeling, Bella collapsed onto the cold tile floor. She wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach as sobs wracked her body. She coughed and gasped for air as the tears poured from her eyes. This was all just too much and she wasn't sure how much more she could handle.

"Oh, honey."

Within seconds, Sue was on the floor with her, gently helping her to sit up. Sue leaned them both against the bathtub and wrapped her arm around Bella, gently tucking her into her side. She stroked Bella's hair, whispering calming words into her ear.

"Shhhh, it's all going to be all right."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Bella muttered through her tears. "I don't deserve it."

"Of course you do. We all make mistakes."

"But I've been lying. This whole time, I've been lying…keeping a secret."

"Bella, you can tell me anything and I promise it'll be okay."

"Charlie's going to be so angry. What if he doesn't want me anymore when he finds out?"

"Oh, sweetie, Charlie wants you here no matter what. Your father loves you so much."

Bella pulled away from Sue, dropping her eyes to stare at the floor. She wanted desperately to tell her the truth, to let go of some of the burden she carried. Her secrets were eating away at her and she knew all of this stress couldn't be good for her or her baby.

"I'm not on drugs," she whispered, almost hoping Sue hadn't heard her.

"I've thought for a while that maybe you weren't," Sue replied. "You don't show any of the signs of an addict or someone in withdrawal. You do show the signs of something else."

Sue's words hung in the air between them. Bella wanted to confess, but the words just wouldn't come.

"Bella, are you…are you pregnant?"

"Yes," she managed to squeak out before sobs wracked her body again. Sue just pulled her to her side once more, holding her hand and stroking her hair. She continued her words of assurance from before; Bella wanted to believe that things really would be okay.

The two women spent the next hour sitting together on the bathroom floor. Finally relieved of one burden, Bella felt like she needed to expunge the rest of the grief she carried. She confessed everything to Sue, telling her about Renee, the men, the constant moving, and the loneliness and depression she felt upon relocating to Florida. She told her about James, about how their relationship began and ended, and about the horrible events of the evening she found out she was pregnant.

Sue sat there and listened intently, crying silently at some points as Bella spoke of the things she'd had to endure. She held Bella's hand through most of the confession, squeezing it in reassurance and urging her to continue.

Once Bella had told Sue everything, she felt lighter, like she'd shed the giant boulder she'd been carrying on her back for so long. Only one more obstacle stood in her way—telling Charlie the truth.

~ O ~

Charlie arrived home that evening to the smell of Grandma Swan's beef stroganoff filling the house. It was his favorite meal, one that he usually only had on special occasions. For a moment he was apprehensive, wondering if there was some birthday or anniversary he'd forgotten.

Entering the kitchen, he found Bella and Sue already seated at the table, grim looks upon both their faces. When they heard him approach, Sue looked at him with a forced smile plastered across her face. Bella didn't even look up to greet him. Things had been going too well these past few weeks, but now he was concerned about his daughter.

Bella had been so well-behaved since her arrival in Forks, never once questioning the rules she'd been given. She helped Sue with the housework and cooking, never complaining or showing an attitude. Bella was quiet and considerate, making Charlie question the information Renee had given him. As a police officer, Charlie had come in contact with many drug addicts and teenage delinquents, but Bella exhibited none of those characteristics.

Her demeanor at the dinner table, however, worried Charlie. Coupled with Sue's apprehensive face, Charlie wondered if Sue had caught her breaking the rules. Did she find pills in her room? Or catch her in the act? Sitting down at the table, he pushed his feelings aside, knowing that the pair would tell him when they were ready.

Dinner was a terse affair filled with stilted conversation. No one wanted to acknowledge the giant elephant in the room. Bella tried to concentrate on the sound of forks scraping across plates, but the thrum of her own heart beat loudly in her ears. She tried to eat, but found it difficult to force food down her throat. Sue had promised her that Charlie would be understanding; she hoped those words were true.

Once everyone had eaten and the table was cleared, the trio retreated to the living room. Charlie would normally flip on the television, tuning in to whatever sporting event he could find. Tonight, however, that action didn't seem appropriate. He sank down into his worn recliner, waiting for someone to enlighten him.

Bella and Sue had followed him into the room, both moving to sit on the sofa. He watched closely as they huddled close to one another, Bella clutching tightly to Sue's hand. He'd known the pair had gotten friendly in the weeks since Bella arrived, but this kind of closeness was something he'd never witnessed.

Sitting there, Bella wracked her brain for the right words to say. She'd spent part of the day rehearsing the speech she would give Charlie, but now that he was in front of her, she'd forgotten everything she'd memorized. Sue gave her a gentle pat on the back, urging her on.

"Char—Dad, there's something I need to tell you. I-I've never…I'm not on drugs. I don't know why Renee told you that," she spoke while staring down at her feet.

Charlie exhaled a giant sigh of relief, glad to have his suspicions confirmed. He couldn't understand why Renee would tell him such horrible lies about their daughter, though. Renee had always been a little irrational; maybe she was just confused.

"But there is something…something I need to tell you. I'm—"

Bella sucked in a giant gulp of air, unsure if she could continue. Once the tears started flowing, she knew she wouldn't be able to choke out the words. She stared down and her hand, holding onto Sue so tightly, and shook her head back and forth.

"Charlie, she's pregnant," Sue finished for her.

Squeezing her eyes shut tightly and curving her shoulders inward, Bella braced herself for the ranting and raving she knew was coming. Renee had been livid when she had found out; she imagined her father would feel the same. Sue had only been so nice because they weren't related. It wasn't her bastard grandchild that would be coming into the world.

"Did your mother know about this?" Charlie asked with a slight quiver in his voice.

"Yes," Bella whispered.

She looked up just in time to see Charlie stalk out of the room and into the kitchen. Moments later, she could hear him speaking, but the words were muffled and unintelligible. If she had any doubts about whom he was speaking to, they were immediately squashed.

"God damn it, Renee!" Bella heard Charlie yell before the sound of the phone slamming down onto the receiver echoed throughout the house.

Charlie came stalking into the living room. His face was flushed red and the vein in his forehead was protruding and pulsing with anger. Still fearful of his reaction, Bella cowered and turned herself towards Sue. Immediately realizing that he'd scared her, Charlie's face softened.

"Oh, Bella," he said as he took a seat on the couch. "I'm so sorry, baby girl. But why didn't you say something sooner? You could have told me. You can tell me anything."

"I was scared," she whispered.

Tentatively, Charlie reached out the grasp her tiny, shaking hand. As he gave it a gentle squeeze, she looked up at him, seeing tenderness in his eyes. Bella's lip began to quiver and Charlie reached out, pulling her forward and hugging her to his side.

Bella clung to her father, soaking his shirt with her tears. She felt like a little girl again, seeking comfort in her father's arms. She had missed Charlie more than she had known, now thankful to finally be in a place where she would be cared for and loved.

Holding his fragile daughter in his arms, Charlie felt like such a failure. For all these years, he had assumed she was better off with Renee. What young girl didn't need her mother? But seeing her now, seeing the obvious pain in her eyes, he knew he'd made a terrible mistake. He just hoped the damage wasn't irreparable.

Glancing over at Sue, he saw the tears flowing down her cheeks as well. He moved to grab her hand, seeing the hope and love in her eyes. As they held his crying daughter between them, he knew they would have to work through this sordid mess—together.

~ O ~

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**A/N:** Thanks again to my beta lislar for making sure the things I write don't super suck. As always, reviewers get a teaser of the next chapter.


	9. Back to School

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.

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**Chapter 9: Back to School**

The days that followed after Bella's confession were lighter, happier. She felt more at ease in her new home, no longer walking on eggshells and trying to pretend that everything was okay. That evening had been spent on the couch together—like a family—as Bella tried her best to explain to Charlie how her life had led her here. There were instances when she became too emotional and couldn't continue, but Sue was there to fill in what she knew, helping Bella get through the hardest parts.

Charlie was livid, probably even angrier after he got the whole story, but all of his ire was directed at Renee. Bella tried to argue that she'd also made some poor choices, but Charlie wouldn't hear of it. The way he saw things, if Renee hadn't been such an uninvolved and distant mother, Bella would have made much wiser choices and been faced with very different situations. Even though Bella didn't necessarily agree with her father, it was still nice to have his unwavering support.

As angry as Charlie was towards Renee, there was no comparison to the complete and utter rage that he felt towards James and the Harris family. He was shocked by how they had treated Bella, especially given the delicate condition she was in. Charlie continually referred to James as a "punk kid," appalled that he had gotten Bella pregnant and then abandoned her in the moments when she needed him most. He also couldn't believe they had the audacity to offer Bella money; somehow he knew that Renee probably wasn't nearly as offended.

Bella suspected that Charlie somehow felt as if he were at least partially to blame for the circumstances that had befallen her. Numerous times he had shaken his head and muttered about how different things would have been if he had only made more of an effort to see his daughter, taken more of an interest in her life, or even challenged Renee for custody. But Bella couldn't blame him for those things. He had called often, asked her about her life, yet she was the one that lied and pretended things were okay. She was also the one that stopped coming to visit, stopped spending her summers and vacations with her father.

~ O ~

Though there was still much to be resolved, Thanksgiving was a happy day for the newly blended family. Sue's children, Leah and Seth, came to share in the huge meal Sue and Bella had prepared. Leah seemed a bit cold and distant when she first arrived, but eased into the conversation as the meal progressed. She had driven in from Seattle early that morning and Bella assumed she was probably just tired.

Bella wanted to ask her about the University of Washington, where Leah was a student, but stopped herself short when she realized that college was no longer an option for her. She rubbed her still-flat stomach with a sigh as she thought about the baby she would have instead, trying to push past the thoughts of her uncertain future.

Seth was closer to Bella's age and she immediately felt a kinship with him, like the brother she'd never had. He was bright and sunny, teasing and telling jokes through helpings of turkey and pumpkin pie. Seth was attending a technical school in Port Angeles to become a mechanic, doing his apprenticeship at Uley's Auto Body in La Push. He made Bella promise that she'd allow him to take her out to reservation one weekend and introduce her to all of his friends. Though Bella had never before put much effort into pursuing friendships, she was excited by the prospect.

~ O ~

With the Thanksgiving holiday over, it was time for Bella to return to high school. She was nervous about once again trying to find her niche in a new school, but she was also a little excited to see what things were like in such a small town. Renee had always moved them to large cities with equally intimidating schools. Forks High School could probably fit within the gymnasium of any number of those schools. With such a small student population, Bella knew that as a new student, it would be much more difficult to fade into the background.

Any notions about blending in were quickly erased when Bella stepped foot onto the campus of Forks' only high school. At first she shrugged off the whispers and stares, assuming there was so much talk because Charlie had dropped her off in his police cruiser. She was also starting the semester at an odd time, only weeks before Christmas break. Yet as the day wore on, the hushed conversations and too-long glances continued, causing Bella to wonder if the whole town was already privy to her predicament.

Morning classes passed quickly, with several students quick to introduce themselves and offer to help her find her classes. Forks High wasn't large enough to need an escort, but Bella found herself accepting their assistance anyway, not wanting to appear rude or impolite. Having never been good with names, she found it difficult to remember the names of most of the students she came in contact with, but there were a few that stood out.

One boy, Mike Newton, followed her around with unbridled enthusiasm. He offered to carry her books between nearly every class, offered rides both to and from school each day, and even suggested that he could get her a job at his parent's store if she was looking for employment. While Bella was thankful for his help, the attention that came with it was unwelcome. As much as she tried to shake him off and gently distance herself from him, he seemed to increase his efforts ten-fold, like a dog with a bone.

When lunchtime finally came, Bella found an empty table in the corner, hoping to have a moment alone to compose her thoughts. Hoping to deter anyone from sitting with her, she pulled a book from her backpack and pretended to read as she munched on the lunch Sue had packed for her that morning. She felt a little silly with a packed lunch, but Sue had insisted she needed to be sure she was getting the correct nutrients for her and the baby.

As it turned out, her book wasn't much of a deterrent. Two pages into her novel, she heard the chairs around her table scraping across the worn tile floor. Resisting the urge to look up, she continued to read and ignore her unwelcome visitors. When she heard Mike Newton clear his throat loudly, she closed her book with a resigned sigh.

The students sitting at her table all quickly introduced themselves, but Bella paid little attention to what they were saying. She had wanted to put forth more of an effort this time, but she quickly realized her life was now so far removed from the usual high school drama. She didn't care about the basketball game on Friday night, what couple had recently broken-up, or what odd pair was caught making out behind the cafeteria. Her thoughts revolved around pregnancy hormones, baby names, and upcoming obstetrician appointments.

The girls sitting around the table with Bella—she thought their names were Lauren, Jessica, and Kate—would never be her friends. As they giggled and talked about prom dresses, tanning appointments, and nail salons, Bella realized that no matter the school, the students were all the same. She'd never fit in before, with her love of books and British comedies; she certainly wouldn't now, with no hope of college and a child arriving in the months to come.

Though she'd promised herself she'd try, Bella could no longer be bothered with the effort. For the remainder of the week, she sat quietly in class, speaking only when required and concentrating on her studies. Lunch was spent in the library, hidden away between the dusty stacks of reference books that no one ever used. It was the perfect place to sit and enjoy her lunch, reading pregnancy books and trying to figure out a name for her baby.

~ O ~

The following week, Sue accompanied Bella to her first visit with the town's only obstetrician. Sitting nervously in the reception area, Bella tried to avoid the gazes of the other patients. The secret of her pregnancy was still held within her tiny family and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. She could feel the prying eyes of those around her and for some reason she felt like they knew her secret with only a look.

Bella picked up a months-old parenting magazine from the table beside her, quickly flipping through the well-worn pages. She hadn't even realized her leg was twitching in anxiousness until she felt Sue's hand rest upon her knee. Looking up at Sue with a grateful grin, she was granted with an equally warm smile in return.

Forks Community Wellness Center was the only place to go in the small town to receive medical care. The nearest hospital was in Port Angeles, thirty minutes away. Dr. Carlisle Cullen had started the clinic ten years prior, hoping to provide affordable and convenient health care to the town's residents. The clinic was home to two general practitioners—one of them being Dr. Cullen himself—an OB/GYN, and a pediatrician. Counseling and psychiatric services were also offered in an adjacent building.

With a mid-afternoon appointment, the clinic was bustling with activity. There were two other expectant mothers seated in the waiting room, although both were much older than Bella and obviously further along in their pregnancies. Several small children played in the corner, stacking blocks and pushing plastic cars across the carpet. An elderly man sat in the corner, staring blankly into space.

The interior of the clinic was warm and inviting, a very different atmosphere than most doctors' offices Bella had visited, especially one that offered free and reduced cost medical care. Bella had visited a few of those places in her life and they were generally very sparse and not well-kept. This place was entirely different, allowing Bella to feel a bit more relaxed. Before she could get too lost in her thoughts, however, a nurse stepped out to call her name.

The nurse ushered Bella into a small exam room, going through the usual steps that occurred at the beginning of such a visit—weight, temperature, blood pressure. She was also given a repeat pregnancy test, just to confirm what she was already sure of. When the nurse began to question her on medical history, Bella was embarrassed that she didn't know the answer to a lot of the questions. As far as her family was concerned, she only had Charlie and she didn't know if there was a history of any diseases or disorders in James' family.

Bella breathed a sigh of relief when the nurse finally exited the room, though she was not thrilled to strip down and put on the flimsy gown they'd given her. Once she'd changed, she sat stoically on the exam table, watching the seconds tick by on the clock. She was momentarily startled when the door slowly opened and in walked a pretty, brown-haired woman.

"Hello, Isabella. I'm Dr. Weber," she said before reaching out her hand to shake Bella's.

"Bella. Just Bella."

"Well, Bella, it appears that your home test was correct. Based upon the information you gave the nurse, I've estimated your due date for June 28, but that could be adjusted later on."

After explaining to Bella what tests she would need to run and what the visit would entail, Dr. Weber proceeded with her examination. A nurse came in later to draw blood, to do a routine check and to test for STDs. That information made Bella nervous, knowing that James had been with other girls before her. She also worried that he was seeing different girls when they were together, given the way their relationship had ended. She shuddered as she remembered the trashy blonde girl that had been sitting on his lap, giggling flirtatiously and whispering in his ear.

All of the pregnancy information Bella was given was slightly overwhelming. She was thankful that she was given pamphlets to take home as well. It would be much easier to read and absorb the information at her own pace. She was confused about what she could and couldn't eat, what symptoms were normal and what she should be concerned about, and what over-the-counter medications she could take.

Bella was happy to learn that her morning sickness would most likely go away at the end of her first trimester. She almost wanted to circle that day on the calendar and initiate a countdown to when she could start eating more normally again. She really hoped she wasn't one of those women that were sick throughout the entire pregnancy.

When the appointment was finally over, she exited with a ton of information, pre-natal vitamins, and an appointment for her next visit.

~ O ~

As Bella fell into a routine at school, the days seemed to pass more quickly. Before she realized, it was well into the month of December, nearly time for Christmas. Trudging to the mailbox on a chilly Saturday morning, Bella was shocked to find a large envelope with her name on it. More than the size or the weight, it was the name on the return address that gave her pause: Dartmouth College.

Bella carried the envelope into the kitchen and placed it gingerly on the table. She thought that if she started long enough, it might burst into flames. She was curious about its contents, yet too scared to actually open it. When Charlie wandered into the kitchen, she passed the task onto him. As she saw the warring emotions on his face as he read the enclosed letter, she knew. Charlie placed the letter on the table, gave her a gentle pat on the back, then left her alone with her thoughts. That was one of her favorite things about her father—he didn't hover.

Curiosity eventually got the best of her and she pulled the letter across the table, closer to where she sat. She refused to pick it up, not wanting to stain the glossy sheen of the paper or mar the ink with her tears. Her first instincts had been to burn or destroy it, but she felt oddly calm as she decided she would keep it. Even if there was no chance of her attendance, she was still proud of her early admission acceptance to the only college she'd ever wanted to attend.

~ O ~

On Christmas morning, Charlie roused Bella from the bed bright and early with a huge grin on his face. Sue met them at the bottom of the stairs, appearing nearly as anxious. Bella was confused by their enthusiasm. She had asked them to forego the usual Christmas gifts, knowing that there was so much that needed to be purchased for her baby. She still had much of the money she'd been able to save while working that summer, but even that wouldn't be nearly enough.

Charlie led her out the front door and into the driveway, positively beaming. There in the driveway, with a giant red bow affixed to the hood, sat a slightly-used silver Volvo. Bella walked around the vehicle twice, sure that her eyes must be deceiving her.

"Dad, I told you no presents. You shouldn't have done this."

"It's not new or anything," Charlie said as he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I got it at that used car place in Port Angeles. I took it over to Uley's and had them do some work on it. Seth brought it by last night. He said the engine looks good. They put new tires on and gave it a fresh coat of paint. I thought you'd need something with the baby coming and Volvos are supposed to be real safe."

"It's perfect," Bella whispered as she threw her arms around Charlie's neck. "I love it, Dad."

~ O ~

When classes resumed for the spring semester, Bella began to make preparations to finish high school and for the birth of her child. She'd spoken to the guidance counselor on the first day back, informing her of the pregnancy and gathering information about how she could continue her classes and graduate on time. With the baby due only weeks after graduation, Bella knew she would not be able to finish out the semester.

The counselor was kind and considerate, helping Bella to map out a plan for the remaining months. Charlie and Sue came in at a later date to speak with the school administration. The goal was for Bella to remain in classes until spring break, but if she felt uncomfortable at any time prior to that date, she had the option of switching to a home-based program.

With the home-based program, a specially assigned teacher would visit Bella's house once per week, spending a few hours to go over assignments and administer tests. The teacher would drop off new assignments and collect those that were due. Concessions would be made for labs or group projects that could not be completed in the traditional fashion.

~ O ~

Knowing that she had only a few more months of high school left, Bella continued to isolate herself from her classmates. Even with her distance, Mike Newton continued to follow her around. He became much more courageous in his advances, even asking Bella to the prom. She thanked him for the offer, but turned him down as gently as she could. As annoying as he could be, he was still a nice guy and Bella couldn't bring herself to be unkind to him.

Though Bella had absolutely no interest in Mike, there was another student that didn't see the situation in the same light.

~ O ~

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**A/N:** Obviously, we're having a baby soon. Any guesses about whether it's a boy or a girl? Names? And I wonder which student is annoyed by Mike's obsession with Bella…

Reviewers get a tease, as always. Thanks to my beta, lislar, for constantly being supportive and totally awesome. Catch me on twitter—ms_ambrosia10 or over on the forums at twificpics(dot)com.


	10. She's Having a Baby

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter 10: She's Having a Baby**

As winter started to fade into spring, the changes in Bella's body became more pronounced. Though she tried to hide her growing baby bump with layers and loose shirts, she knew that her secret wouldn't be safe for much longer. She worried about the rumors that were sure to abound throughout the tiny town, hoping that this knowledge wouldn't cause people to judge her harshly.

Having always strived to fade into the background, Bella knew this would be sure to thrust her into the spotlight. Though she knew she wasn't the first pregnant student nor would she be the last at Forks High School, right now she was the only one. That would immediately put a red bull's-eye on her back—or maybe her stomach would be a more appropriate analogy.

She'd been lucky so far, managing to blend into the scenery. After the first few weeks, the excitement of a new addition to the student body had worn off and no one seemed to care about her anymore, especially when she stopped trying to be friendly. Most students seemed to realize that she simply didn't want to be bothered, answering their questions with short, one-word answers and refusing to elaborate—most students being everyone but Mike Newton.

Bella still couldn't understand Mike's devotion to her, even when she ignored him and refused to make eye contact. His constant presence had started to annoy her, no longer just being a minor inconvenience. Bella noticed that the other students paid more attention to her when Mike was by her side, following her around like a loyal Golden Retriever. She'd tried everything she knew to do dissuade him, short of angrily telling him to get lost.

One student seemed particularly annoyed by Mike's infatuation. Bella often noticed the caustic glares and acidic remarks thrown her way, courtesy of Jessica Stanley. It was obvious to everyone that Jessica had a huge crush on Mike. Well, obvious to everyone but Mike himself; he was completely oblivious, lost in the murky haze of his Bella-colored glasses.

Bella had thrown hints Mike's way, telling him he should ask Jessica to accompany him to the basketball game or the next school dance. He just didn't seem to get it, or maybe he just didn't want to. Nevertheless, Bella was going to have to do something about the awkward situation soon. Jessica was a known gossip and Bella didn't want to incite her ire, especially not with the secret she carried.

~ O ~

Wednesdays were officially father-daughter dinner nights in the Swan household, an idea Bella had gotten from one of the parenting magazines she'd been reading. She enjoyed these evenings she got to spend with Charlie, allowing them time to bond and get to know one another. Sometimes Bella would cook, but most of the time she met Charlie at the local diner. She'd head home after school, take a nap and finish her homework, then meet Charlie at six. Sue usually spent the evening on the reservation, having dinner with Seth or friends that she didn't see as often since she'd moved in with Charlie.

As her pregnancy progressed, Bella found herself often craving the sort of fare the diner had an abundance of, her mouth salivating as she thought about greasy cheeseburgers, apple pie, and a big strawberry milkshake. Entering the tiny cramped space, she immediately spotted Charlie's burly form crouched over a table near the back of the restaurant. Slumping down into the seat across from him in the booth, Bella saw the stack of papers lying on the table in front of him. He was reading intently, so immersed in his task that he didn't notice her approach.

"Dad?" Bella asked cautiously.

"Oh, hey kiddo! I didn't even notice you sit down."

"That's okay. Is that something for work? Because if you don't have time to eat with me, I can just get something to go and—"

"Nonsense. These papers are, uh, actually for you. Sue picked them up when she was in Port Angeles earlier today."

Without another word, he slid the papers across the table towards Bella. Turning them around, she stared at the bold text at the top of the pages in front of her.

_Peninsula College_

_Port Angeles, WA_

"Dad, I can't—"

"Just hear me out. I'm not saying full-time or anything like that, but you should at least fill out the applications and look into it. You could commute, take classes a couple days a week." Leaning closer to Bella, he whispered, "Sue could watch the baby, or it says on one of those papers that they've got daycare right at the school."

"Thanks, Dad. I just don't know if I'll be ready. It'll only be a couple of months after…maybe next year?" When Charlie stared at her with a raised eyebrow, his mustache twitching in irritation, she quickly amended her statement. "Okay, I'll look into it. But no promises, okay?"

"Okay," Charlie replied with a bright smile on his face. He knew how much Dartmouth had meant to Bella and he wanted to her to at least get to go to college, even if it wasn't her dream school. He'd do whatever he could to make that happen, not wanting his daughter to sacrifice all of her dreams because she'd made a mistake—one mistake that had dramatically altered the course of her life.

Later that evening, when Bella returned home from the diner, she sat down at the kitchen table, pulling the applications Charlie had given her from her purse. For over an hour, she poured through the information, trying to make sense of the confusing guidelines and requirements for financial aid and the other programs offered by the school.

Looking through the childcare brochure, she quickly realized that she wouldn't be eligible for the services offered. Though they had a program for babies, she didn't fall within the income guidelines. She had no real income of her own, but because she would still be considered dependent upon Charlie, his income would be taken into account. His salary was average and middle-class, but well above the poverty threshold.

Charlie had mentioned that Sue could care for the baby while she was in class, but Bella wondered if she'd really be ready to spend so much time away from her baby so soon. It would only be a couple of months after her due date when classes started. With a newborn, would she really have time to devote to school as well? Aside from just attending classes, she would also have to worry about driving back and forth to Port Angeles, finding time to study, visiting the library to do research…considering all the responsibilities made her head spin.

As she read over the dates for fall admission, Bella realized that the deadlines for scholarships had already passed. While she could still apply for loans through financial aid, it was likely that those funds would not cover the entire amount. She still had her savings, but that wouldn't be enough to cover the tuition and fees for the first year. Charlie would probably offer to pay for it, but she couldn't allow him to do that. He'd already taken money from his retirement fund to buy her a car. There were also lots of things the baby still needed, things that would be expensive. Charlie and Sue had already done everything for her; she couldn't expect them to do more.

Bella also worried that she wouldn't be ready for classes emotionally. Since moving to Forks, she'd tried to come to terms with the depression that plagued her while living with Renee. She no longer felt hopeless and alone, but there were still moments when life seemed overwhelming. Crying was no longer an almost-daily occurrence, but there were still nights when she would curl up in bed and let her emotions consume her.

Sue and Charlie had both been very concerned about her after learning of her pregnancy. They had thought it might be helpful for her to speak to someone about her feelings and issues—a counselor—but Bella didn't feel as though she needed to go that far. The option was always open if she changed her mind. Instead, she began to keep a journal, writing out all of her hopes and fears, especially about the baby. She'd spoken to the guidance counselor at school a couple of times, when she was feeling particularly down, but she found herself feeling much more optimistic as the days went by.

With her decision made, Bella took the paperwork upstairs to her room, placing everything in her desk drawer. She felt better knowing that college wasn't an unattainable dream, just not currently part of the equation. Grabbing a notepad, she scribbled down the application and scholarship deadlines for the spring semester of the next year and stuck the paper to the corkboard behind her desk. She smiled at the goal she had set for herself, reveling in the knowledge that even with a baby, she could still attain some of her dreams.

~ O ~

Jessica Stanley stood near her locker, watching with a scornful gaze as Mike Newton stumbled helplessly down the hallway. He pushed and shoved people out of his way, no doubt trying to catch up with the retreating form of Bella Swan. Jessica scoffed out loud as she thought of the pale, mousy girl, wondering why Mike was so interested. When she compared herself with Bella, she knew there was no contest—at least there shouldn't have been.

In her own mind, Jessica considered herself to be a catch, one of the most popular girl's at Forks High. She was a cheerleader, vice-president of her senior class, and a great conversationalist. Her curly hair was shiny and beautiful. She'd been told by numerous guys that she was hot and she chose clothing that accentuated her figure. Bella was nobody—a plain girl with frizzy hair and Goodwill clothing. She was like a shiny new toy and Jessica vowed to make sure Mike grew tired of her soon.

Jessica knew there was more to Bella's story than she was willing to divulge. She couldn't imagine why someone would move across the country in the middle of their senior year, to live with a father they barely knew. There was definitely a secret there and she was determined to find out exactly what it was.

She also was not falling for this little game Bella was playing with Mike, ignoring him and pretending that she wasn't interested. Jessica just knew that Bella secretly wanted Mike; she was just playing hard to get. It annoyed her that Mike was putting in so much effort to win Bella's affections when she would have given into his advances with little effort at all.

Before she could put much thought into her plan to humiliate Bella and seduce Mike, Kate and Lauren arrived at her locker, dragging her away to cheerleading practice.

~ O ~

Grabbing her backpack and slamming her locker with force, Bella moved quickly down the corridor towards the front entrance. She could hear Mike calling her name, but she pretended not to notice, shoving the buds attached to her Ipod into her ears and cranking up the volume. She sighed in relief when she saw Sue's car parked near the front entrance.

She had an appointment with Dr. Weber today, to have an ultrasound and hopefully find out the sex of her baby. Excitement coursed through her veins as she thought about buying pretty dresses for a little girl or Mariners jerseys for a little boy. Bella giggled, realizing that Charlie would buy Mariners jerseys for the baby whether it was a boy or a girl, and probably make it go fishing before it was even old even to hold the pole.

Filled with nervous energy, Bella was relieved when the nurse finally called her name, escorting her back into one of the clinic's examination rooms. Sue sat patiently in the waiting area while Dr. Weber did her exam, joining Bella when it was time for the ultrasound.

Bella held tightly to Sue's hand as the technician set up the machine. Once everything was running correctly, she lifted Bella's shirt, squirting a pile of cold, gooey gel onto her barely-there bump. Bella smiled up at Sue as the Doppler moved across her stomach, the fast-paced thumping of her baby's heart filling the room. Tears flowed from her eyes as she saw the first image of her baby on the tiny monitor.

Looking up at Sue again, Bella realized she was crying too. Too choked up to speak, she gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She was so happy to have Sue there with her, knowing this would be a much different experience if she would have had to experience it alone.

The technician continued to move the Doppler along Bella's stomach, taking measurements and checking to make sure the baby was progressing as it should. Finally, turning to face Bella, she asked, "So, do you want to know the sex?"

Bella grinned and shook her head yes.

~ O ~

Feeling annoyed, Jessica decided to cut cheerleading practice short. After Mike's pathetic display of chasing Bella through the hallway, she had no desire to yell and smile. All she wanted was to do was curl up with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and watch trashy TV talk shows. On second thought, she decided that a banana split from the diner sounded divine. She could even drive by Newton's Outfitters on her way, nonchalantly checking to see if Mike was working the evening shift.

"Let's go to the diner," she whined to Kate and Lauren. Her two best friends reluctantly agreed, allowing her to drown her sorrows in a milkshake and fries. As they were finishing up their meal, Kate's phone beeped loudly with a text message.

"Hey, my sister wants us to drop her off some dinner over at the clinic. She's working late. Is that okay?" Kate asked.

The girls quickly ordered a burger and fries for Tanya, making their way to the clinic.

~ O ~

Bella stood near the reception desk, her ultrasound picture in her hand. She stared at it while she waited for the secretary to schedule her next appointment, memorizing the features of her baby from the fuzzy photo. Sue had stepped outside to call Charlie and tell him the good news.

The receptionist smiled at Bella as she handed over her appointment card.

"Oh, was your ultrasound today?"

"Yes," Bella replied with a smile, turning the photo around for the woman to see.

"Were they able to tell you what you're having?"

"It's a boy!"

"Oh my God! You're pregnant?!?!"

Giving the receptionist a weak smile, Bella turned to see Jessica Stanley staring at her with a menacing smile on her face.

"Jessica, it's not…could you just—"

"I knew there was something about you Bella, but I never would have dreamed this. Oh my God. I can't wait to tell Mike. He isn't going to want you anymore when he finds out."

Tears filled Bella's eyes as Jessica pulled out her cell phone and began texting furiously. Knowing there was nothing she could do now to stop the rumor mill from turning, Bella dropped her head and went out to meet Sue.

~ O ~

The next morning, Bella tried to ignore the beep of her alarm clock. She shut it off with a resounding slap, pulling her old quilt over her head. She'd known she couldn't keep her pregnancy hidden for much longer, but she had desperately wanted people to find out on her own terms. Now, there was no telling what sort of gossip Jessica had created overnight.

Moments later, Bella heard a light rap on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she responded with annoyance.

Sue pushed the door open slowly, peeking her head in to assess the situation. Relieved to see that Bella wasn't crying or breaking down, Sue moved into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Are you going to stay home?" she asked.

"I want to. I just feel like it'll be worse if I don't go," Bella responded with a sigh.

"I just worry," Sue said as she patted Bella's hand. "Too much stress isn't good for you or the baby."

"I know. Do you think, if it's bad…could I switch to home-schooling sooner?"

"I don't see why not; everything is already set-up. But do you really want to let those girls win, to force you from school before you're ready? Because of a boy you aren't even interested in?"

"I guess not," Bella whispered as she dropped her head and picked at some loose threads on her blanket.

"Don't be ashamed of yourself or the baby. Charlie and I aren't. We love you and we support you. So you made a mistake—everyone does. You go into that school and hold your head high. You're being responsible and doing the right thing. You should be proud of yourself."

"Thanks, Sue," Bella said, leaning forward to give her a hug.

"Hurry up. Breakfast is getting cold."

~ O ~

Pulling into the parking lot, Bella could see students milling about, taking advantage of the unusually warm and sunny day. As she exited her car, she felt the eyes of the other students watching her, staring at her well-concealed stomach. She'd worn a loose-fitting t-shirt and one of Charlie's old flannel shirts, not wanting to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her little bump.

Walking into the school, she continued to notice the stares and hear the whispers. While most students tried to be conspicuous in their gawking, there were a few that openly gaped at her. She hated being the center of attention, hated that the other students were talking about her and making assumptions about how she'd gotten in her position.

By lunchtime, rumors were flying through the school. Though Bella tried to ignore the comments, it was hard not to listen in to some of the things that were being said about her. Everything she heard was lies, all fabrications with little to no basis in the truth. Most of the rumors made her out to be some sort of Lolita, a promiscuous girl that had seduced half of the boys in the school since her arrival.

Boys that she had never even spoken to were claiming to have been with her, relaying bawdy tales of having sex with her in their cars or getting a blowjob in the school parking lot before class. No one seemed to question them, instantly believing that the lies must be true; she was pregnant after all, and only the school slut could end up in such a state.

By the time the end of the day had come, Bella was finding it difficult to hold it together. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry, to let Jessica know she'd broken her down. Somehow she found the strength to keep going, staring straight ahead as she moved through the hallways.

Arriving at home after her long, arduous day, she immediately moved to the living room to find Sue. Seeing the pain in Bella's eyes, Sue held her arms out and Bella collapsed into her chest, letting the tears she'd held in finally fall.

~ O ~

Though her first day back after her secret was revealed had been nothing short of Hell, Bella couldn't allow herself to give in. She'd always been weak, cowering in fear at the first sign of trouble. She thought about how she'd clung to James long after she felt anything more than friendly affection for him, so scared of being alone. She thought about how desperate she had been for someone to love and care for her, wanting affection in any way that she could get it. Bella realized that she had done so many things, sacrificed so much of herself of herself to appease those around her.

_She didn't want to be that girl anymore._

Bella was going to a mother soon and she knew she needed to be strong for her baby. Soon, someone else's life would be completely dependent up on her. She needed to change, to learn to be more independent and face her problems instead of hiding in the corner.

With newfound determination, Bella forced herself to continue going to school. The first week was painful, but when she refused to acknowledge the rumors, things eventually died down. Jessica Stanley and her friends still tried to goad her into a reaction, but Bella simply ignored them. She refused to turn back into the weak, wallowing girl she'd been in Jacksonville.

When spring break finally came, the official date Bella had originally set to stop attending classes, she felt an immense sense of relief, pride, and accomplishment. She'd promised herself that she would survive and she had.

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**  
A/N:** Thanks to the ladies at The_Gazebo for the rec, as well as for their discussions about my story. Your questions and concerns have been noted and addressed. =)

Thanks to my beta lislar for correcting my mistakes, making sure that I stay on track, and listening to all my crazy ideas. You've been a great beta and I friend. I really appreciate all you do.

Reviewers get a teaser (hopefully sent out sooner this time!). Next chapter, a certain green-eyed Cullen makes his first appearance.


	11. You Have Made My Life Complete

As always, thanks to my beta lislar for everything she does to make sure my story is the best it can be. Thanks for m81170 for the pre-reading in the middle of the night when I was having a major freak-out. Thanks to the lovely Aussie ladies that allowed me to be a part of their WC this week. And thanks to all of my reviewers. I really appreciate all the love!

**Disclaimer:** SM owns Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter 11: You Have Made My Life Complete**

Bella groaned and pulled the quilt over her head. Above her, she could hear the loud sounds of shuffling and banging, boxes being scooted across the attic floor. It was before seven am on a Tuesday morning and she wondered what could be so important. _Why was Charlie in the attic?_

Dragging herself from bed, she waddled out into the hallway, her protruding stomach leading the way. Stopping at the folding stairs hanging down from the ceiling, she called out to her father.

"Dad?" she yelled up into the opening. Moments later, Charlie's dust-covered face peeked over the edge. There were cobwebs in his hair and drops of sweat dripped from his brow.

"Did I wake you? Sorry," he replied with a sheepish grin.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh—just looking for some…stuff."

Bella continued to stare, waiting for him to elaborate. When she realized he had nothing else to say, she huffed and rolled her eyes.

"O-kay," she replied, dragging the word out into two syllables. Before she could offer more questions, Charlie disappeared once again, effectively ending their short conversation.

Turning towards the stairs, Bella headed to the kitchen. Her stomach grumbled loudly as she felt the baby shift and move. "I know, baby," she said to herself as she rubbed the spot where the baby was currently resting.

In the kitchen, Sue was already seated, enjoying her breakfast. Bella sat down beside her, grabbing an over-sized muffin from the basket at the center of the table.

"How are you doing this morning?" Sue asked.

"Hungry…and tired. The baby was moving around a lot and I couldn't get comfortable, not with this huge stomach in the way. I swear I got up to go to the bathroom at least five times. And then, when I finally start to fall asleep, Charlie is up in the attic banging around. What is he _doing_, anyway?"

"Oh, I think he said something about some camping gear. He's going fishing this weekend with some of his buddies—Dr. Cullen, Billy Black, and a few of the younger guys from the station. You know, always trying to suck up to the Chief," she replied with a laugh.

"That couldn't wait until later, when I wasn't trying to sleep?" Bella's outburst only caused Sue to chuckle louder. The pregnancy hormones had really started to get to her lately, making her irritated and annoyed. One minute she'd be furious with anger, crying in sadness the next. She hated having so little control over her emotions.

"Did you make a decision about graduation?"

"Yeah, I've decided not to walk through. I feel so uncomfortable already and I don't need to add to that. I can't stand the idea of all those people staring at me. Charlie said we could just go to dinner in Port Angeles or something that evening."

"As long as you're sure."

"Definitely."

After finishing up her breakfast, Bella showered and dressed for the day, pulling on some gently-used maternity clothes she'd purchased at a local consignment store. She'd never been one to care too much about her clothes; it seemed pointless to spend a lot of money on garments that she'd only be able to wear for a couple of months. She slipped on a pair of ballet flats, practically the only shoes she wore anymore. They were really the only option because she couldn't see her feet and definitely couldn't tie laces.

When she deemed herself ready for the day, she made her way back down the stairs to meet Sue. They were headed into Port Angeles for the day to attempt to find some more items on the list they'd made together—a list of things Bella would need for the baby. There were so many things to purchase and their budget was rather tight. A few things had been purchased new, but they'd been able to find a lot of the larger items at a local church thrift store for much cheaper prices.

It pained Bella when she thought about her baby coming home from the hospital in a used car seat, being put to sleep in a secondhand bassinet. Even some of the clothes and blankets she'd purchased were used. Bella had wanted nothing but the best for her baby, but she was already failing at that, before her son was even born.

Charlie had moved the furniture in her bedroom around, bringing in a small dresser that went with her furniture set, but that she hadn't really had room for. With the baby coming, however, she needed some place to put all of his things. Some of the clothes and blankets had been washed and placed inside, but many things were still in laundry baskets, waiting for a home. To make room for the used bassinet that Bella had purchased, her desk had to be taken out of the room and moved into storage.

Bella hadn't purchased a crib yet, still trying to locate a sturdy one at a decent price. She assumed she had some time left, even after the baby was born. She had the bassinet and he could sleep in it for a while. Bella knew she'd want him in the room with her for at least his first few months; she couldn't imagine how they were going to cram a crib into her room once the time came. Her bookshelves would probably have to go.

~ O ~

The trip into Port Angeles turned out to be a fruitless endeavor, but Bella enjoyed getting out of the house and spending some time Sue. As she moved further along in her pregnancy, she'd become less and less motivated to leave the confines of her cozy, little home. Most of her time was spent on the couch, watching Days of Our Lives and Maury. She found both shows to be unintentionally hilarious.

As they pulled into the driveway that evening, Charlie met them at the door. He seemed nervous and his actions were more than a little odd. He'd even ordered food from the diner; Bella smiled when she opened up the Styrofoam box to find a big, greasy, bacon cheeseburger waiting for her. He kept staring at Bella with a pained look on his face, making her wonder if she was grossing him out as she shoved ketchup-covered French fries into her mouth.

Once Bella had devoured her entire meal, including a piece of berry cobbler, Charlie loudly cleared his throat.

"Um…Bella, there's something I need to show you."

Confused, she stood and followed Charlie through the kitchen, to the small room off from the living room. The room was probably designed to be an office, much too small to really use as a bedroom. Bella had been in the room only a handful of times since she'd moved in with Charlie. She recalled that there had been an old twin-sized bed inside, boxes of miscellaneous junk, and a treadmill collecting dust. When he opened the door, Bella gasped.

Tears pricked her eyes as she walked inside, running her hand along the edge of a freshly-painted crib. All of the thrift store furniture she'd purchased had been painted white, making it look much less like a hodge podge of cheap things and more like a proper furniture set. The walls were painted a pale, calming blue. The bedding inside the crib was simple—plain white sheets with a handmade quilt.

The quilt was baseball themed, and as Bella looked around, she saw that the entire room was decorated to match. There was a Mariners pennant on the wall, framed baseball cards, and even a picture of a Bella playing tee-ball at the age of four—her first and only foray into the game. Old wooden bats hung from a shelf, with a baseball and worn-in glove resting atop it. A photo frame—Little Slugger—showed Bella's latest ultrasound picture. An oversized rocking chair was placed in the corner, near the window.

"What—How did you…" she trailed off, unable to complete her thought.

"The crib was actually yours when you were a baby. It's been up in the attic all these years—that and the rocking chair. It belonged to your grandma Marie. She gave it to us right after you were born. I used to sit in it and rock you to sleep. Sue made the bedding and the curtains."

"And I'm sure the baseball theme was your idea," Bella giggled through her tears.

"At least I didn't go with his first choice," Sue piped in.

"Fishing," both women stated at the same time, bursting into laughter.

Bella hugged Charlie and Sue, thanking them for the beautiful room they'd given her son.

~ O ~

When the date for Forks High School's graduation ceremony arrived, Bella felt uneasy. Though she had no desire to walk across the stage in front of all of those people, she was still upset about missing out on the chance to receive her diploma, to wear her cap and gown and be recognized for her achievement. There would be no fanfare, however; Bella's diploma would arrive in the mail.

She could imagine Charlie and Sue sitting in the crowd, beaming with pride. If things were different, there would be a graduation party afterwards, a small gathering of friends and family at Charlie's house, or maybe even the diner. There would be talk about college in the fall, plans for a summer job. Instead, Bella found herself alone in her bedroom, trying to squeeze herself into the only maternity dress she owned, not to go to her graduation, but to have dinner with her family in Port Angeles.

Missing graduation was just another item on a long list of things she'd had to miss—homecoming, dates, the prom. Unlike other teens, she couldn't just run off to the mall on a Saturday morning with her friends, or go to a movie on a Friday night. Though she was only eighteen, Bella hadn't felt like a teenager in a very long time.

~ O ~

Only two weeks after she would have walked across the graduation stage, Bella was jolted awake by painful cramps in her lower back, as if someone was trying to saw her in half. At first she was scared, worried that there was something wrong with the baby. But as she moved to wake up Charlie and Sue, she realized that her pajama bottoms were wet. Her water had broken.

Trying to remain calm, she knocked loudly on Charlie and Sue's bedroom door. When they yelled for her to come in, she opened the door and told them she was in labor. Charlie burst from the bed in seconds, hastily running around, looking for his jacket and car keys. Sue was much more subdued, reminding Charlie to calm down; there was plenty of time to get to the hospital.

After taking time for everyone to get dressed and to grab Bella's pre-packed hospital bag, they loaded into the car for the drive to the hospital in Port Angeles. Though it seemed entirely unnecessary, Charlie insisted on carrying Bella from the house to the car, worried that she might have a contraction and fall. He also insisted on taking the cruiser, flipping on his lights and siren as he sped down the highway.

Once they arrived at the hospital, Bella was quickly wheeled into the labor and delivery unit. She was given the corner birthing suite, a tiny room that barely allowed room for Charlie and Sue to wait inside with her. Dr. Weber arrived shortly after Bella did, examining her and determining that she was definitely in labor, though only dilated a few centimeters.

The minutes seemed to tick by, punctuated by Bella's contractions. She tried to tolerate the pain, not wanting to be overly dramatic, but as the contractions came closer together, the pain that went with them only intensified. Even with her aversion to needles and blood, she happily accepted the epidural injection into her spine. While it did not completely alleviate her pain, it definitely made things much more tolerable.

Charlie spent most of his time in the hallway, frantically pacing as he clutched a cup of coffee. Though he was excited at the prospect of being a grandfather, it was difficult for him to see his young daughter in so much pain. Sue proved to be the calm and collected one in the situation, standing by Bella's side, clutching her hand and helping her to breathe through her contractions.

Finally, after nearly twelve hours of waiting, Bella gave birth to a healthy baby boy—Benjamin Charles Swan. As his loud cries permeated the air in the tiny room, Bella felt the tears well up in her eyes. And when the nurse handed him to her for the very first time, she thought there was nothing more beautiful than her son.

His skin was red and blotchy, covered in icky goo, with a patch dark hair at his crown. With her forefinger, she traced his tiny lips, nose, and ears, marveling at the tiny person she'd helped to create. She counted ten tiny fingers and ten little toes. Everything that she'd gone through in the previous months was worth it for that moment. Bella felt a pang in her chest when the nurse took Ben away to clean him up and get his weight and measurements.

When all was clear, Charlie re-entered Bella's room, anxious to make sure that she was okay. He was greeted by a blinding smile, Bella's entire face lit up with happiness. She hugged her father tightly, hoping to convey all of the emotions she felt. He hugged her with equal fervor, whispering that she would always be his little girl.

~ O ~

The day after Bella gave birth, her room was entered by a short, balding man with a greasy comb-over, wearing a too-small polyester suit. He stared at Bella with dark, beady eyes, making her uncomfortable. She clutched Ben more tightly to her chest, wondering what this man wanted from her. Bella breathed a sigh of relief as Charlie made his way back into the room from a coffee run, instantly on alert.

"Miss Swan, I presume," he rasped in a nasally voice. "I'm an attorney representing the Harris family."

Bella tuned him out as he continued to speak, knowing exactly why he was there—to sever all ties between James and his son. Before Renee had sent Bella off to Forks, she had mentioned that the he planned to surrender his parental rights. She felt uneasy, knowing that someone had been keeping tabs on her so closely, passing along the information of Ben's birth so quickly.

Conflicting emotions radiated through Bella as she considered her options. Part of her didn't want to sign the paperwork, didn't want to allow James to shirk out on his responsibility to his child, even if it was a responsibility he didn't want. But she also knew that if she signed, the Harris family would have no legal right to her son. James would never be able to come back into her life and try to take her baby away.

Though she was resolved to sign the papers, Charlie didn't trust the lawyer or the family he represented. He called in a favor and had a local lawyer come to the hospital to look everything over. Once that attorney explained everything and assured him that there was nothing shady going on, Bella signed the papers, effectively severing any ties she had to James.

~ O ~

_Three months later…_

"Bella, can you get table nine and then you can head out?" Rosalie yelled across the diner.

Bella simply nodded her head and moved towards the offending table, a pot of coffee in one hand and a pitcher of water in the other. Her shift was supposed to have been completed over an hour ago, but the diner had gotten slammed early for the dinner rush and she was forced to stay late. She sighed as she thought about Ben, at home with Sue and Charlie. She missed him terribly while she was at work, but she felt a little better knowing that he was in good hands.

The place was nearly filled to capacity and bustling with activity. It was hard for Bella to concentrate on where she was going and what she was doing because of all the noise—the low buzz of diners enjoying lively conversation with their tablemates, the sizzle of meat on the open grill, the cook calling out orders, cutlery moving and scraping across dinnerware, and the dulcet tones of Elvis Presley crooning _Love Me Tender_ from the vintage jukebox.

There weren't many dining establishments in Forks, but _Rosie's Diner_ was one of the oldest and most popular. The menu boasted typical diner fare; most folks came for the classic cheeseburger, fries, and a hand-dipped milkshake. The daily blue plate specials were also a favorite, though Bella found the smell of the tuna melt to be rather off-putting. The restaurant had become a Forks institution when it opened in the late 1940s. It was originally owned by Lillian and William Hale, named for Lillian's late mother, Rosalie. The diner had been passed down through the family, now under the ownership of Lillian's granddaughter, also named Rosalie, and her husband, Emmett McCarty. When they had taken over, they had transformed the simple, small town diner into a throwback to the 50s. Since then business had increased dramatically.

The interior of the cramped dining car was exactly as one would expect it to be. The floors were tiled in a checkerboard fashion, with shiny black and white tiles that glistened under the harsh fluorescent lighting. The same black and white pattern ran in a stripe along the walls. The booth seats were covered in a glittery, red plastic; the same fabric covered the stools around the bar. A vintage jukebox stood proudly in the corner and the walls were interspersed with advertisements from that time period. There were also pictures of Rosalie's family and the diner through the years. Everything worked together to create a unique atmosphere that the townsfolk seemed to enjoy.

Bella had only been working at the retro diner for two weeks. Though it was hard to leave her son behind, the hours were good and the pay was decent. She was considered part-time, only working shifts a couple of days per week. That made things easier. It left her plenty of time with Ben while still being able to put some cash in her pocket. She felt guilty about all the money Charlie had spent both before Ben was born and after. There was just so much a baby needed—from clothes and shoes to formula and diapers. She was even more embarrassed when she had to ask Charlie for money to buy things for herself, simple items like deodorant, razors, and shampoo.

The uniform for the diner was a bit silly, like a little girl playing dress-up: a blue and black dress, frilly white apron, ruffled bobby socks, black Mary Janes, and a little hat. Bella had grown fairly comfortable and confident in her job duties, even becoming friendly with her regular customers. Charlie was her best tipper. He and the guys from the police department came in at least a couple of times a week for lunch. Their presence always put a smile on Bella's face.

Most of the girls Bella worked with were friendly and helpful, but there were a couple that gave her pitied looks or simply seemed annoyed by her presence. She just tried to steer clear of them and do her job, hoping that she'd never give Rosalie or Emmett reason to fire her. As meager as her wages were, she simply needed the income.

The sheer physical labor of the job wasn't something Bella thought she'd ever get used to. Today was no exception, especially since she had exceeded her normal shift. Her feet hurt, her calves burned, and her shoulders ached. Who knew carrying around a pot of coffee and hefting trays of food could be so exhausting! Her uniform was riddled with stains and greasy spots. Her ponytail was falling down, limp from the humid atmosphere inside the diner. A few strands had escaped and were matted to both her forehead and neck, full of sweat and grease. The smell of burned hamburger meat lingered on her skin and clothes. She felt disgusting, hoping that once she got home, she'd get to have a nice, long soak in a hot bath.

As she made her way towards table nine, she was thinking about how soothing the warm water would be on her aching muscles, imaging the strawberry scent of her favorite bubble bath, and definitely not paying close enough attention to where she was going. She was pulled from her reverie with a loud _oomph_ as she ran straight into something hard. From that point on everything happened in slow motion. Bella managed to move the hand that held the coffee pot out of the way, but the water pitcher wasn't so lucky. It slipped from her hands, the plastic making a loud sound as it clanked and skidded against the checkerboard tile floor. The force of the collision threw icy cold water down the front of Bella's uniform...and all over the man she'd just ran into.

* * *

**AN: **Do you want to kill me? Reviewers get a teaser of the next chapter. Not sure what I'll be sending out yet, but I know it'll be from Edward's POV. =)


	12. Like The Palm In Your Hand

_Disclaimer:_ SM owns Twilight.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Like The Palm In Your Hand**

_The force of the collision threw icy cold water down the front of Bella's uniform...and all over the man she'd just ran into. _

Mortified by her clumsiness, Bella could already feel the pink tinge of her embarrassment moving up her chest to the apples of her cheeks. Her shame was increased when she looked up to see Jessica Stanley, one of the waitresses that gave her a hard time, looking at her with a smug grin of satisfaction. Bella could see that Forks' own version of the Wicked Witch of the West was holding back her cackle, eager to announce another of Bella's unfortunate accidents to her own troop of flying monkeys, Lauren Mallory and Kate Denali.

Thankfully, Jessica was the only member of the demonic trio that worked at the diner. That didn't stop the three of them from making Bella's life infinitely more difficult, though. Lauren and Kate had already come into the diner several times since they had learned of Bella's employment there. They would sit in her section, make harsh and unreasonable demands, and then stroll out without leaving a tip. Bella didn't understand why they found it necessary to go out of their way to torment her. Surely there was something or someone in Forks more worthy of their time and energy.

Bella could never understand why they hated her so much, guessing that it was simply because she was new and different. She hadn't grown up in Forks like everyone else and her shy, timid nature made her a bit of an easy target. Her pregnancy didn't make things any easier.

The core of their resentment seemed to reside with the unrequited crush Mike Newton harbored on Bella, feelings that were not returned or encouraged. After high school, Bella had hoped to never encounter the trio or Mike again; she'd done well to avoid them all, at least until she got the job at the diner.

Mike had begun working at his parent's sporting goods shop in town, making it easy for him to drop by the diner and annoy Bella with inappropriate jokes and invitations to "friendly" outings. There was nothing friendly about the way he looked at her, leering at her breasts and giving her a lascivious smile. He seemed to be under the impression that just because she had a child, she must be _easy_. Or maybe he assumed that because she had a baby, she was now _tainted goods_, more inclined to give into him.

Neither of those assertions was true. Bella was a legal adult and had been dating James for several months before she'd had sex with him. Even then, she'd done so because she thought that he loved her, that he would protect her. That wasn't the case, making her even more skittish where relationships were concerned—especially now that she had Ben to care for. She was content for him to be the only man in her life. If anything, his presence made her raise her standards.

Whatever man she brought into her life would also be part of Ben's life. She never wanted him to have to endure the painful and difficult childhood she'd endured with Renee. Since learning of her pregnancy, Bella hadn't even considered dating. She didn't know when she would be ready for that sort of commitment again.

"Hey, are you okay?" a strong, masculine voice asked, distracting Bella from her thoughts. Bella looked up to meet a pair of deep green eyes. Despite being wet, the stranger seemed not angered or bothered by her epic blunder, but simply concerned.

"Oh my gosh! I am so, so sorry. I just-I wasn't paying attention and I…"

"It's okay. It was an accident. No worries. At least it wasn't the scalding hot coffee, right?" he said as he looked at her with a grin, one side of his mouth tilted higher than the other.

Bella couldn't help but to smile back, even though she was sure even her ears were red at this point. Before she could answer, she felt someone squeeze her upper arm, pulling her back. Bella realized that she was standing entirely too close to the man she'd just rammed into, mere inches separating their bodies. She looked over to see Rosalie staring at her, a blank expression on her face.

"I've got this, Bella. Why don't you head on home?" Rosalie said in her stern, miss-management voice.

Once again, Bella simply nodded and acquiesced.

~ O ~

"Edward, honestly, I am truly sorry. Let me take care of your meal."

"Absolutely not, Rosalie. Like I told the waitress, it was simply an accident."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now, will you _please_ stop pestering me so I can enjoy dinner with my folks?" he asked her.

"Edward, dear, what happened?" Esme asked as she and Carlisle sidled up near him, noticing that the entire front of his shirt was soaking wet.

"I bumped into a waitress. It's just a little water. No big deal," he said, staring at Rosalie to emphasize his words. He gave his father a one-armed hug and leaned over to kiss his mother on the cheek.

Rosalie continued to stand there for a moment before finally exiting with a quick hello to Carlisle and Esme. She summoned another waitress to the table, instructing her that the meal was on the house.

Edward slid into the seat across from his parents with a bright smile on his face, feeling more content than he had in a long time. It was nice to be back in town; he had missed his family, but he hadn't realized how much he missed his old friends as well. Seeing Rosalie and Emmett again, in the same diner where they'd spent much of their teenage years, brought back a lot of memories.

Emmett McCarty and Rosalie Hale were practically royalty in high school, the quintessential, stereotypical teenage couple. Rosalie was the head cheerleader, with sparkling blue eyes and wavy blonde hair. Emmett was the captain of the football team and also excelled in wrestling. His jovial personality and boyish good looks made him popular amongst all the high school students, but he only seemed to care what Rosalie thought of him. Their relationship had been combative at times, mainly because Rosalie was never afraid to speak her mind. Beneath that gruff exterior, however, there was a kindness and love that few people ever found—a love that Edward was still searching for.

Edward had left town around the same time Rosalie and Emmett had, heading to school back east. He'd tried to keep in touch with the two, but time and distance seemed to work against them; the only information he knew of them was garnered from his parents. Of course, Edward had been very busy with school, majoring in biology. After completing that degree, he headed off to medical school in Chicago, where he had been living for the past seven years. He was just finishing up his residency in pediatrics, and when his father offered him a position at his clinic, he couldn't turn down the chance to come back home.

When he'd rolled into town three days ago, Edward was shocked to see that Rosalie and Emmett were running the diner. Of course, his parents had told him as much, but it was still odd to see Rosalie manning a cash register and waiting tables. In high school, all she ever talked about was getting away, and she had. Emmett had gotten a football scholarship at a small school in California; she followed him there. It didn't take long before both of them were homesick; there was apparently something about the charming, small town that seemed to draw its residents back, even when they tried their best to escape. Upon earning their degrees, the pair came straight back to Forks, taking over the diner several years later.

Edward had a few friends in Chicago, but no one he was particularly close to, no one he would be upset to leave behind. He hadn't been in a relationship in a long time either, never really finding the time to devote to a woman when he had all of his work commitments to take care of. His job had always come first, which was why his last relationship had ended on such a poor note, just like all the ones before it. He hoped that in returning to his hometown, even if he couldn't find a woman to settle down with, he'd at least have the company of his family and friends.

"How was the meeting with the realtor, dear?" Esme asked in a warm, motherly tone.

"It actually went really well. The first few houses I looked at were just way too big and not at all what I was looking for, but the last one was perfect. It's just a simple, little cottage on the edge of town. I already put in an offer and I'm hoping to get everything taken care of by the time I get back from Chicago. It shouldn't take more than a couple of weeks for me to get my stuff packed up and moved back here."

Esme and Carlisle both beamed, casting happy smiles towards their son. They were so very glad to have him back home.

~ O ~

Bella grumbled to herself as she pulled her car into the driveway. She was still chastising herself for being such a complete and utter klutz. _I can't believe I dumped water all over that man. Rosalie's probably going to fire me now! _She'd tried to think of more pleasant things on her drive home, but the incident was like a giant stain that just wouldn't go away. She grabbed her bag from the seat and headed inside the house.

As she entered the foyer, she could hear Sue in the kitchen, cooking dinner and making baby talk. Bella smiled. In the months that she had lived with Charlie, Sue had become the mother Bella had never known. Motherly devotion was never one of Renee's strong suits, always making Bella feel like an obligation and a hindrance. Sue, however, had never made her feel that way at all, even when Bella knew that her presence was a strain on Sue's budding romance with her father. Charlie and Sue had never judged her for the pregnancy, simply welcomed and supported her with open arms.

Entering the kitchen, Bella saw Sue standing at the kitchen island chopping vegetables. There were several kettles on the stove, steam billowing from a pot of boiling water. Bella sidled over next to Sue, peeking into the baby bouncer that was sitting on top of the island. There, nestled in his soft blankets, was baby Ben. Bella leaned her face close to his, placing a soft, sweet kiss to his forehead. When she pulled back, he looked at her with his big brown eyes…and then he smiled. He'd just begun to coo and smile, and each time he did so, Bella was overcome with emotion. There was simply nothing like seeing his angelic, chubby-cheeked face breaking into a gummy grin. It made everything Bella had gone through in the past year worth it.

"Has he eaten?" Bella asked.

"No, I thought I'd wait and let you do that when you got home; I know you like to spend that time with him. He hasn't cried so I thought it would be okay. Dinner should be ready in about half an hour."

"Thanks, Sue," she replied, leaning over to give her stand-in mom a kiss on the cheek.

Bella scooped up her chubby little boy and headed towards the nursery. She positioned herself in the old rocking chair, gently swaying as she began to nurse Ben. Breastfeeding was never something Bella thought she would be interested in; when the nurses at the hospital had talked to her about it after she had given birth, she decided she'd give it a try. At first, she had a hard time adjusting to the engorged feeling in her breasts, as well as the odd feeling of her son feeding. Soon enough, however, she realized it was a special time she got to spend with her son. She enjoyed those quiet moments together, even more so since she'd started working. It gave her time to observe her son, to make note of the subtle changes in him from day to day. He was growing so rapidly and she didn't want to miss any milestones.

Holding Ben in her arms, she sometimes thought about Renee. Now, being a mother herself, Bella was even more puzzled by the choices Renee made and the way she'd treated Bella throughout her childhood. Even more bizarre was how quickly and easily she'd sent her away once the pregnancy was revealed. She just didn't understand how someone could be so careless with their child. No matter what happened, she knew that Ben would always be first in her life, that she would never repeat the mistakes Renee had made.

Bella stroked Ben's cheek gently, causing him to open his eyes and look at her. His eyes were just like her own—a deep, coffee-colored brown. Shortly after his birth, she'd been shocked when he opened them and they were a milky blue. She'd gasped aloud, muttering about his blue eyes to no one in particular. A nurse had somehow overheard her, explaining that they would most likely darken over time. While Bella knew that she'd love her son just the same, no matter what, she cringed when she thought of having to look into icy blue eyes each day—the same eyes that belonged to his father.

For the most part, Ben looked like Bella. Charlie had compared their baby pictures, pointing out all of the similarities. His brown hair even showed hints of red in the sunlight, just like his mom. There were some things about him, however, that reminded Bella of James—the shape of his ears, the curve of his fourth toe, and bow of his lips. Though those things initially made her sad, she tried not to dwell on them. Her disappointment had been replaced by anger and bitter resentment. Just like Renee, James had thrown his own child away.

~ O ~

After his feeding, burping, and a quick diaper change, Bella put Ben back in his bouncer for a nap. Charlie had arrived home and dinner was waiting on the table. Sue had prepared garlic bread, salad, and some sort of elaborate pasta dish. It smelled divine. Bella hadn't realized how hungry she was until the aroma of garlic was wafting through the house; it had been many hours since she'd eaten lunch.

Dinnertime conversation centered on Bella's upcoming 19th birthday. She had pleaded with Charlie and Sue to just ignore the day, but they seemed oblivious to her demands. It was enough that Charlie had taken her in when she had no where else to turn and that they had both been so helpful with Ben. She didn't need gifts on top of that. They insisted otherwise.

"Bella, I thought that since you have the day off tomorrow, Charlie could take care of Ben for a few hours in the morning and we could do a little birthday shopping?"

"Sue, really, I don't need anything."

"Bella, you never do anything fun, for yourself. All you do is take care of that baby, work, and help out around the house. You need to get out more. Now, do your old man a favor and go with Sue in the morning."

She could never bring herself to argue or disagree with Charlie, so she gave into his demands. "Fine, but we can't stay out too long. Ben has an appointment for a flu vaccine and a check-up in the afternoon."

Sue and Charlie were both smiling at her, and despite herself, Bella smiled back. As much as she protested about their over-protective nature, she was certainly glad that someone thought enough of her to care. She had grown so accustomed to feeling unwanted that it was hard for her to adjust, to actually believe that people wanted to do things for her with no ulterior motive and expecting nothing in return.

~ O ~

After getting Ben ready for the day and eating a quick breakfast, Bella and Sue were off to do some shopping. Ben would be spending the morning with his grandfather, probably relaxing in the recliner and watching fishing shows on Outdoor Network. Bella had gotten more tips than usual over her past few shifts; she planned to use those to buy Ben a couple new things. He was growing so fast that it was hard to keep him in properly fitting clothes. She'd long given up on shoes. She had no idea what Sue planned to buy for her but she was hoping to keep the purchases to a minimum—maybe a new sweater or a pair of shoes. Bella assumed they were headed to Port Angeles and she was shocked when Sue parked along a side street in downtown Forks.

Sue, seemingly sensing Bella's confusion, spoke up, "There's a new boutique that just opened down here, next to where the old movie theater used to be. I thought we could check it out, especially since Ben's appointment is in a few hours."

The pair walked down the lonely street, the wind whistling and blowing leaves up and down the sidewalk. The bell on the door of the boutique rang loudly as they entered. Bella noticed the racks of clothes, immediately heading towards the baby section. She felt someone grabbing the hood of her jacket, holding her back.

"Nope. This is birthday shopping _for you_. We'll get Ben something later."

Bella grumbled to herself as she headed towards the women's section. She looked through the racks, hoping to find something practical like a thick sweater or a flannel shirt. Warmth and comfort were her two highest priorities. Besides, there was really no use in buying beautiful clothes when everything she owned always ended up with baby vomit on it. A blue, cowl neck sweater dress caught her eye. Bella pulled it from the rack and gave it a closer look. It was absolutely lovely, but definitely not something she'd have any use for.

"That would look beautiful on you, with your pale skin," a lilting voice called out as a petite woman moved towards her.

"Oh, I was just…I mean, I'm looking for a sweater or something. This is too much."

"You really should at least give it a try. I'm Alice, by the way," she said as she held out her hand for Bella to shake.

"Bella," she replied as she placed her hand into the other woman's.

"Your aura is very dirty. Is everything okay?"

"Wha-what?"

Without any warning, Alice flipped Bella's hand over and began examining her palm.

"Hmm…well, your life line reaches across your whole palm, so that's good. And your love line is long and curved. That means you have a romantic nature," she said with a grin. "It's kind of hard to get a good reading under these fluorescent bulbs. You should definitely come by my shop."

"Maybe?" Bella said, her unsure reply coming out more like a question as she pulled her hand away. She was completely overwhelmed by Alice, wondering what this woman's deal was.

Alice's hair was short and spiky, dyed a dark and sleek-looking black, pinned back with a pair of metal barrettes. Bella could see that her ears were each pierced multiple times. She was wearing an old cardigan, one that was probably better suited to someone's grandma. It was her dress, however, that caught Bella's eye.

The dress was long and flowing, dancing around Alice's ankles as she moved. The fabric was a paisley print in shades of purple and blue. It made Alice stand out amongst the monotone of the jeans and sweaters that were preferred by most people in Forks. Both of Alice's wrists were adorned with bracelets in varying stones and metals. A pendant of a twisted tree lay between her collarbones, held in place by a piece of long, black cording.

"Hmm…here, take this," Alice said as she pulled a bracelet from her arm. "It's not exactly what you need, but it'll work until you can come in."

Bella took the bracelet from the odd woman and slipped it over her wrist. It was a gold cuff with a large turquoise stone in the center.

"Umm…thanks."

"You're welcome. It should help to balance out your aura, but you'll definitely need to come by the shop. I have the perfect healing bracelet for you. Here's my card. I'll see you soon, Bella."

Bella stood there in shock and watched Alice walk away. Still trying to figure out what just happened, she stared down at the professional-looking business card Alice had handed her.

_Psychic Waves_

_by Alice Cullen_

_Dream Interpretation, Psychic Readings, Spiritual Guidance, Energetic Awakening, and Soul Healing_

As much as Bella felt the urge to laugh, she was also intrigued by the eccentric dynamo she had just encountered.

In the car, on the way home, Sue questioned Bella about her new jewelry.

"That bracelet is lovely, Bella. Did you buy that today?"

"No, I met the most bizarre woman in that boutique. She gave it to me, said I needed to cleanse my aura or something."

"Ah," Sue said. "You know, Native Americans believe that turquoise has a lot of healing power. It protects and blesses, helps to heal the spirit and bring piece of mind."

Staring out the window, Bella thought that maybe Alice wasn't so crazy after all.

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**A/N: **Thanks to my beta, lislar, for all of her help. She really makes my writing so much better. If you haven't checked out her stories, please do so and leave her some love. Second Chances is one of my favorite stories right now. The Innocent Heart of Darkness is excellent as well, especially if you enjoy AU stories.

Apologies to people that reviewed late, as I didn't get teasers out to them. But I updated early, so that should make up for it, right? There will probably be another update this week, closer to the weekend.

Also, I do take banner and blinkie requests. The information and a link to my work is in my profile.


	13. Your Heart is True

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight, but little baby Ben is mine.

Have I mentioned that my beta lislar is ten kinds of awesome? Because she totally is.

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**Chapter 13: Your Heart is True**

Bella sat in the small exam room at Forks Community Wellness Center, staring blankly at the white wall in front of her. She held Ben tightly to her chest, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear. She hated when he cried or was in pain, but his flu vaccine was a necessary evil. Blood and needles made Bella a bit squeamish so she was trying to avoid looking at what was going on. Ben's screeching wail alerted her to the needle piercing his skin. She rocked him and rubbed his back, hoping to ease his ache.

"There, there. You're all done little man," Dr. Cullen said as he patted Ben on the back. "Bella, you'll need to make an appointment for him to get his month four immunizations before you leave. Be sure to tell Maggie to make the appointment with the new pediatrician and not with me."

"The new pediatrician?" Bella questioned.

"I'm sorry. In this town, I assumed you had already heard. I should have mentioned it sooner. We have a new pediatrician joining the staff in a couple of weeks and he'll be taking on Ben's care in the future."

"Oh, um…okay."

"If you'd be more comfortable, I can continue to see him, but it would be better to get him started with a pediatrician rather than just a general practitioner. Besides, the new doctor and I are quite alike; I think you'll like him."

Bella furrowed her brows, confused by Dr. Cullen's statement.

"My son just finished up his residency in pediatrics. He's moving back to Forks, from Chicago. He won't start here for a few more weeks, but we're already beginning to get his schedule and patient load together."

"I'll be sure to make the appointment," she said as she rose to leave the room.

Since Dr. Burty's retirement a couple of months ago, his patients had been shifted around to the other doctors at the clinic. Because Dr. Cullen was a close friend of Charlie's, he'd taken on Ben's care, rather than switch him to the other pediatrician at the clinic.

Bella felt comfortable with Dr. Cullen, having seen him drop by the house on several occasions to meet with Charlie for camping and fishing trips. He and his wife, Esme, were also regulars at the diner. They'd even sent Bella a gift after she'd given birth to Ben, a beautiful cashmere baby blanket that probably cost more than all of Ben's other blankets combined.

It made Bella nervous to entrust her son to another doctor, but given that the doctor was Carlisle's son, she would give him the benefit of the doubt.

~ O ~

Two days later, Bella was back at the diner, working through her shift and trying desperately not to let her clumsiness and penchant for daydreaming cause another scene. Her day was going well so far, mostly because Jessica was gloriously absent. This meant that her shift had been free of evil glares and annoyed glances. Rosalie hadn't even mentioned the incident of a few days ago and for that Bella was extremely grateful. She was sure she would be facing some sort of reprimand, but her shift was almost through and Rosalie hadn't said a word about it. Charlie had also been in earlier for lunch along with a few of his deputies. They had left Bella a sizeable tip which she was extremely grateful for.

The lunch rush had passed and the dining room was now practically empty. A few diners remained, reading the local newspaper or nursing a cup of coffee, but there was no one sitting in Bella's section. She was passing the time behind the counter, rolling clean silverware into paper napkins. Most of the other waitresses were nowhere to be seen, and Bella had a suspicion they had snuck out back and were taking a smoke break. Moments later, she spotted Carmen coming towards her from the back room.

"Bella, sweetie, I was wondering if you could cover my shift tomorrow?" Carmen sang as leaned against the counter, popping her chewing gum and examining her fingernails.

Bella fought the sudden urge to glare at the woman, annoyed by her orange tan, smeared pink lipstick, and frosted hair. The gum popping surely didn't help either, especially given that Carmen was in her mid-40s and should know better. Instead, she tried to act like a teenager, giggling and flirting inappropriately with the high school boys that came into the diner on weekends. Everything about her appearance and demeanor annoyed Bella, but especially her predilection for gossip.

When Bella had moved to Forks, she truly believed that if people got to know her, they would judge her on her merits, not on some filthy bit of hearsay that was floating around the town. Of course, she couldn't have been more wrong. Almost within hours of her arrival, rumors began to swirl. People were desperate to glean any information about the Sheriff's prodigal daughter, returning to Forks after all of these years. More gossip began to float around once Bella's pregnancy started to show, though there were very few people that had the audacity to come right out and ask Bella about her condition. Carmen was one of those people.

Bella had come to the diner to eat dinner with her father; at six months along, her baby bump was barely visible under the loose-fitting top she'd chosen. Halfway through their meal, Charlie had gotten called away on some police business, leaving Bella there alone to finish up her food and head home. As she sat there enjoying a piece of strawberry pie, one of her worst pregnancy cravings, Carmen came sauntering over. She didn't waste any time with idle chit-chat, simply coming right out and asking Bella how far along she was and where was the baby's father. Bella was immediately taken aback by the woman's brash nature and lack of social tact.

Feeling cornered like a wild animal, Bella blurted an excuse about not feeling well and made a hasty retreat. Days later, a rumor began to circulate the town, suggesting that Bella had gotten pregnant by her mother's boyfriend. Renee, angry that her only daughter would betray her in such a way, had sent Bella away and told her she never wanted to see her again. The whole thing was embarrassing and completely ridiculous.

Though her relationship with her mother wasn't great, the outlandish nature of the rumor was almost laughable. While Bella had no proof where that rumor had started, something in her gut told her that Carmen was the source. Since then, she'd found it hard to be cordial to the woman. Thankfully, their diner shifts didn't usually overlap, but today was the exception to that rule.

"Sure, Carmen. I'll cover your shift."

Though Bella wanted nothing to do with Carmen, picking up an extra shift would mean a small boost in her income. She was only working part-time right now, not wanting to spend too much time away from her son or to burden Sue with his care. A few extra shifts here and there really made a big difference in her paycheck though, allowing her to buy extra things for Ben. Most of his clothing came from the thrift store owned by the local Catholic Church, but if she had extra money, sometimes she'd spring for something new. Even just being able to buy diapers for the week without Charlie's help was an accomplishment.

Aside from trying to help with expenses for Ben, Bella had also been trying to save as much of her earnings as possible. She was hoping to take a couple of classes at the college in Port Angeles during the spring semester. The savings she'd brought with her from Florida was all spent and she needed to replace that money. Bella hoped to be eligible for grants or scholarships to pay for the classes, but she needed to be prepared in case she wasn't. There just wasn't as much aid available for those that weren't full-time.

Bella had gotten the job at the diner with Charlie's help and encouragement. He was a regular customer, having eaten lunch and dinner there on a daily basis before Sue came into his life. He spoke with Rosalie and she agreed to give Bella a trial run as a waitress. When she hadn't made any major mistakes after a couple of days, Rosalie told her the job was hers.

Sue graciously offered to care for Ben while she was working. Bella had tried numerous times to pay her at least a little, but Sue always adamantly refused. She said it was an honor to care for her grandson. Those words had warmed Bella's heart. It had hurt her so much when Renee wanted nothing to do with her baby, nor did James and his family. Despite wealth and access to resources, the Harris' were greedy and selfish; Bella knew that she could never expect anything from them. She was glad that Ben would have at least one set of grandparents to love him.

Bella was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of the bell above the diner entrance ringing, indicating a new customer. She smiled in spite of herself when she looked up to see Alice Cullen waving at her. She quickly skipped over to a booth in Bella's section and sat down. Bella shuffled over to greet her, taking her drink order and handing her a menu. Returning with Alice's Diet Coke, she noticed that Rosalie had also stopped by the table to say hello.

"Thanks, Bella," Alice said as she sat her drink down on the table.

"Did you decide on what you'd like to order?"

"Oh, I'm actually not even hungry! I ran into Sue and she mentioned that you worked here, so I came by just to talk to you. I wanted to see what evening you're free later this week? I know your birthday is coming up and I thought we could go out and celebrate."

"How do you know Sue?"

"Oh, silly me. I'm married to Esme and Carlisle's son, Jasper. I dropped in on Esme earlier and Sue was there having lunch with her."

Things started to click into place for Bella. She should have made the connection when Alice handed her the business card—Alice Cullen. There was only one family with the name Cullen in Forks. She realized that Jasper must be the new pediatrician, the doctor that would be seeing Ben in just a few short weeks. This would also explain why Bella had never seen Alice around town before.

"So, dinner?" Alice asked.

"Oh, I don't think I can, Alice. I'm really sorry."

"Please, Bella. We're meant to be friends. I just know it." Sensing Bella's unease, Alice changed her tactics. "If not dinner, how about lunch? You can drop my the shop any day. I always close between one and two. We can order take-out."

"I guess that would be okay."

Alice slipped out of her booth, threw a twenty dollar bill onto the table, and engulfed Bella in an unexpected hug.

"See you soon, Bella!" she said as she exited the diner.

Bella stood there momentarily, stunned by the tiny tornado that had just breezed through. Alice was pushy and overbearing, but her determination seemed to stem from kindness and genuine interest in developing a friendship. Though the encounter once again left Bella feeling flummoxed, she still smiled to herself, an unknown excitement coursing through her veins. But the disappointments of her past weighed heavily on her, squashing the hope that had started to bloom in her heart. As she walked over to wait on another customer, she was once again left feeling bereft.

~ O ~

Edward sat in the floor of his office, shredding documents and putting books into brown cardboard boxes. He'd been hard at work for hours, trying to pack away the life he'd made for himself in Chicago. He had planned to take two weeks to close up his life, but he found himself anxious to get back to Forks. He groaned as he stretched his stiff muscles, sore from having spent too much time hunched over on the hard, unforgiving floor. He rolled his neck and twisted his back, making the bones crack loudly. He probably should have hired a moving company to come in and pack up all of his things, but he felt odd letting strangers come into his home and go through his stuff. It was hard enough trusting them to get his possessions from point A to point B intact.

It felt odd being back in Chicago, in the downtown apartment that he'd lived in for so many years. The place no longer felt like home, more like he was walking through a museum or looking at the pages of a decorating magazine. Everything in the apartment was artfully placed, useless statues and pieces of art that meant nothing to him. There were no family photos or sentimental items. The place felt cold and modern. He longed for something warm and comfortable. Realizing that almost none of the furniture he owned would be appropriate for the small cottage he'd purchased in Forks, he decided to simply donate it, choosing only to keep the antique desk and bookshelves from his office.

His first order of business upon his return to the windy city had been to meet with his mentor, Dr. Aro Volturi. Aro had been Edward's boss and close confidant while he completed his residency in pediatrics. Edward was thankful for the guidance and knowledge that he had imparted upon him. He knew that Aro was hoping he would join the team at Children's Memorial, the offer too good to pass up. The hours had been excellent, with minimal on call time, and the pay was much more than Edward would have expected. As tempting as the offer was, however, his desire to return home and work alongside his father was even greater.

Edward had felt a twinge of guilt during his meeting, feeling a sense of obligation towards Aro for all of his help. Aro hadn't seemed shocked that his offer had been turned down though, giving Edward best wishes for his new adventure. He left his offer open, telling Edward that if he ever changed his mind, there would be a place for him in Chicago. Edward thanked him for his kindness and for the wisdom he'd passed down. He was excited for the next stage of his professional career to begin.

After that meeting was taken care of, Edward began to tie up other loose ends. He still had a few months left on his lease, but the landlord didn't seem concerned by that and let him go without a penalty. He called to schedule dates to have his utilities shut off, as well as going to the post office to have his mail forwarded to a P.O. Box in Forks. He called the Salvation Army and scheduled a truck to come over and pick up his donations. Much sooner than he had anticipated, he was packed and ready to book a flight to Seattle.

On his final evening in Chicago, Edward went out to a local bar with some colleagues from work, enjoying one last night out on the town.

~ O ~

The week flew by quickly and Bella did her best to avoid Alice. As much as she wanted to forge a friendship with the little sprite, she couldn't seem to overcome her own insecurities. She'd never been good at making friends, even worse at keeping them. Now, with her unique set of circumstances, it seemed nearly impossible. She had simply resigned herself to living a solitary life with her son, having only Charlie and Sue to keep her company.

After finishing a short shift at the diner, Bella headed home, intent on spending the evening lounging on the couch and watching Golden Girls reruns. Entering the house, she found Sue sitting on the couch knitting. Ben was on the floor, amusing himself with a brightly colored bug hanging from his Baby Einstein activity gym. Bella plopped herself down on the floor, enjoying Ben's laughter as she pushed the buttons to make his toy light up and play music.

"Alice Cullen called earlier today," Sue said as she raised one eyebrow.

"What did she want?" Bella answered, trying to feign ignorance.

"Well, she said she invited you out for your birthday, but that she thought you were trying to avoid her. So, I told her you'd call her this evening."

"Sue!" Bella wailed as she got up from the floor.

Sue simply gave her the hairy eyeball and patted the space beside her on the couch. Bella reluctantly gave in and sat down next to her, resting her forehead against Sue's shoulder.

"Look, sweetie, I know you've been through a lot, especially this past year, but at some point you're going to have to let someone in again. I've known Carlisle and Esme Cullen for years. They're some of the kindest people you could ever hope to meet and I'm willing to bet that their daughter-in-law is cut from the same cloth. Give her a chance," she said as she patted Bella on the hand.

"I'll try," was all Bella could say.

Bella wrapped her arm around Sue's shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. Then, she got down on the floor once more, tickling Ben and kissing his face. He giggled loudly at her antics. Finally, with a resigned sigh, she made her way upstairs to call Alice.

~ O ~

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**A/N: ****waves hi to new readers** This was supposed to post tomorrow, but I got all excited and decided to put it up today instead. Next update will be on Wednesday and we'll go back to once per week updates from there.

Reviewers get a teaser. And I promise there will finally be some action on the Edward/Bella front in the next chapter. :)


	14. Break Down Here

**SM owns Twilight.  
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**Chapter 14: Break Down Here**

Bella giggled loudly, her face red and puffy as tears ran down her cheeks.

"This is serious, Bella!" Alice exclaimed, a dramatic huff escaping her lips.

"I'm sorry. I've never done anything like this before!"

Bella was sitting in the grass, shoes cast aside, soles of her feet pushed together. Alice's position mirrored her own. She was supposed to keep her eyes closed and her mind clear, but she kept giggling every time Alice would start to hum. Alice was convinced that Bella needed to heal her aura; she'd given Bella a box of Epsom salts the day before, to put into her bath, and today she suggested meditation.

With her eyes closed and her palms pressed together, Bella desperately tried to cast away all of her worries, but the whole thing just seemed completely ridiculous. In a moment of weakness, she let out a loud, unladylike snort, right before peals of laughter overtook her body.

Alice shot her a baleful look and rolled her eyes, but then her face broke out into a grin. Before long, both women were laughing loudly, collapsing against one another in the damp grass. When the giggling subsided, Bella spoke up.

"I'm really sorry, Alice. I think maybe this just isn't for me."

"It's okay. This might be a little advanced for you; we'll have to work up to it. Just promise that you'll keep wearing the bracelet I gave you and that'll you'll try to spend more time outside."

"Promise," Bella replied, and the two women sealed the oath by connecting their pinkies, much like small children.

Despite her initial hesitation, Bella had grown to really enjoy Alice's company. Encouraged by Sue and Alice's own persistence, Bella had finally given in and called the little hobbit. For the past few days, the pair had been meeting during Alice's lunch hour, getting to know one another and solidifying a burgeoning friendship. Though some of Alice's beliefs seemed like ridiculous mumbo jumbo to Bella, there was something about her exuberance and cheerful disposition that pulled Bella in. She smiled as she thought that, for the first time since she was a child, she had gained a true friend.

Conversation between the two women remained superficial, mostly because Bella was still hesitant to delve into the sordid details of her past. Alice seemed to sense her profound sadness, but she never pressed the issue. Instead, she gave Bella a hug and a healing bracelet made of shiny, pink stones.

"You should come over to the house for dinner. I've finally gotten everything unpacked and all of the rooms decorated like I want. And you can finally meet Jasper!"

"Thanks for the offer, but I can't," Bella replied with a shrug. Alice didn't say anything, leaving the pair in awkward silence. Uncomfortable, Bella realized that maybe it was time to share some of her life with Alice—to put herself out there and try.

"It's not that I don't want to. It's just that with my new job taking up so much of my time, I don't have as much time to spend with…my son."

"You have a baby?"

"Yeah, Ben. He's three months old now."

"Well, you could always bring him with you," Alice said with a smile.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Why would I mind, silly? I love babies!"

"Okay," Bella replied, a smile once again gracing her face. For the next half hour, the two women sat in the grass together as Bella shared stories about her son. She told Alice about the smiles he reserved just for her, the way he would coo and giggle when she came home from work, and how he loved to nap snuggled up on her chest. Alice never asked about Ben's father and Bella never offered to share; that was a story for another day.

~ O ~

Edward sat at the breakfast nook, sipping coffee and perusing the local paper. Upon arriving back in Forks, he had decided to take a few days to get some things together before starting work at the clinic. The moving truck was set to arrive with his things in a couple of days, but all of that stuff would have to go into storage. The closing on his new home was taking longer than anticipated, leaving him in a bit of limbo. His first inclination had been to simply rent a room at the local motel, hoping that he wouldn't be stuck there for more than a couple of weeks. His mother had practically blown a gasket when he'd voiced that idea, seeming offended that such a thought would even enter his mind.

He'd always been hard-pressed to tell Esme no, which was why he had woken up this morning in his old bedroom. It was oddly comforting to be back in his parent's home, taking up residence in the bedroom that belonged to him in high school. He hadn't spent much time in Forks since college and was shocked to see that the room was almost the same as he'd left it. The walls were covered with posters, academic awards, and pictures of his friends from high school. Edward chuckled as he opened the closet to discover a Star Wars poster on the back of the door. He'd always been a closeted geek.

On the bookshelf were some of his favorite books, trophies from his accomplishments in baseball, and a framed collage of photos. The photos brought back lots of memories, particularly one of his friends at the beach in La Push. They were all huddled together on a large rock, clutching cans of cheap beer while a bonfire raged beside them. Rosalie was perched on Emmett's lap and Angela Weber was kissing Edward on the cheek, a big smile on both their faces. Looking at the other grainy faces in the photo, he realized that almost all of them had either never left Forks or returned in the years since college. He was the last to return—the proverbial prodigal son.

Just as Edward had finished reading the newspaper, Esme came fumbling into the kitchen, her arms full of glossy magazines, folders, and a potted gardenia. Edward simply stared at her as she joined him at the nook, unceremoniously dumping everything she carried onto the table. She let out a huff of resignation and annoyance as she slid into the bench beside of him.

"Mom, is everything okay?"

"Yes. No. Maybe?" she questioned. "I just have tons of paperwork to do for the flower shop, trying to decide on flowers and arrangements for the fall. What are you up to?"

"Just reading the newspaper—all six pages," he replied with a laugh.

"Breakfast?" Esme asked, but she was already moving towards the stove before he even had time to answer.

~ O ~

After spending the morning with his mother, Edward decided to head into town and do some exploring. There weren't many things about the small town that had changed over the years, but he welcomed the chance to stretch his legs and get some fresh air. He rode into town with his father, realizing that he desperately needed to buy a car of his own. There was no need for one in Chicago, but the idea of public transportation in Forks was laughable. In fact, he was pretty sure there was only a single, decrepit old cab that hobbled around town, driving the inebriated from bars and the elderly to the bank and post office.

When they arrived at the clinic, Edward followed his father inside. He went straight to his office, working to arrange the boxes of stuff that he'd brought by the day before. He found the perfect place to display his diplomas, and then worked diligently to fill his bookshelves with research journals and medical books. Finally, he pulled out a few photos, the ones his mother had placed in matching silver frames.

There was a photo of him with his parents on the day he graduated from medical school, another of the entire family—including Jasper and Alice—standing beside Lake Michigan. It was from two years prior, when they'd all made a rare trip to Chicago to visit him. The final photo was from Homecoming his senior year of high school. Rosalie stood between him and Emmett, her white blonde hair and pristine appearance a deep contrast to the two boys that flanked her sides. She was clad in her cheerleading attire, her tiara glistening under the bright stadium lights. Still wearing his uniform, Edward's hair was messy and wild, his cheek smudged with mud. Emmett had pulled off his jersey and shoulder pads; his white undershirt was sweat-stained and riddled with dirt and grass, but his smile was brilliant, showing off the dimple in his left cheek. Edward grinned as he looked at the photo. It was good to be home.

With his office now in order, Edward set out on foot, knowing his father would still be busy for several more hours. Carlisle had come in on his day off to work on paperwork and make phone calls to some patients he was concerned about. As Edward walked down the rain-sprinkled sidewalk, a small car lot caught his attention. It was a "buy here, pay here" operation, the space filled with late model sedans and sturdy pick-ups. But it was an old red Chevy that caught his eye, a rusty old relic to a time long forgotten.

Not even taking a moment to second-guess himself, Edward jogged across the street and walked straight up to the truck. The body was in good condition, the rust spots to a minimum. Edward thought that with some minor improvements and a new coat of paint, the truck could be shiny and beautiful once more. An older man with a grizzled beard and greasy overalls walked out to greet Edward, shoving a red bandana into his pocket as he extended his hand.

Less than twenty minutes later, after a short negotiation and an even shorter test drive, Edward found himself writing out a check for five thousand dollars, now the proud owner of a backfiring hunk of metal. The engine roared loudly as he fired it up, the clutch sticking as he tried to navigate the desolate city streets. Before leaving the lot, he'd called a mechanic in town and made an appointment to have the truck looked over. He knew it would take a lot of money to get it back in pristine condition, but he was willing to pay whatever it took to restore the truck to its former glory.

Though it was still a little early for lunch, Edward didn't need to have the truck at the body shop until much later in the afternoon, so he decided to stop in at Rosie's for lunch. Walking inside, he was surprised to find the place mostly empty. Two old men sat stoically at the counter, drinking coffee and discussing the weather. A waitress stood behind the counter, wiping down trays and smacking her gum. To the left, a young couple sat in a booth, both squeezed into one seat. The right side of the dining car was empty, so Edward headed in that direction, sliding into a booth near the kitchen.

"Bella, you've got a customer!" the gum chewing waitress yelled, her voice deep and reminiscent of a lifetime smoker. She didn't even look in Edward's direction.

Moments later, a waitress came scurrying out of the back, hands frantically trying to tie her apron around her waist. "Sorry," she whispered to the other waitress, staring at the floor as she moved towards where Edward sat. Her eyes widened when she finally looked up to see him sitting there. Her face flushed with embarrassment and Edward worried that he was making her uncomfortable, yet there was something endearing and innocent about her the way her cheeks turned to a light shade of pink.

"Welcome to Rosie's. I'm Bella and I'll be your waitress today. Our lunch special today is the grilled, two-cheese sandwich with tomato soup. Can I get you something to drink while you look over the menu?"

Edward looked up at Bella and grinned. "Water."

~ O ~

Before long, the dining car began to fill with the usual lunch crowd. Bella took extra care as she refilled water glasses and deposited meals. She felt at ease with most of the customers, teasing the regulars and joking with the other waitresses. As she worked, however, her eyes kept wandering toward the auburn-haired man in the corner.

She was sure that he had been teasing her when he placed his order for water, but that still didn't lessen her embarrassment. As she moved around the dining car, she could almost feel his eyes upon her back, but each time she turned, he would be immersed in his turkey sandwich and fries. Each time she stopped by his table, to refill his glass or make sure everything was okay, he would always greet her with a kind smile.

As the lunch rush died down, Bella positioned herself behind the counter, refilling ketchup bottles and salt shakers. From where she was standing, she had a perfect view of the intriguing man. There was something about him that held her attention, though she tried to convince herself it only mere curiosity. She'd never seen him in town before and new residents weren't exactly common in Forks.

Moments later, her eyes widened in horror as she realized exactly who this handsome stranger must be—Jasper! _Oh my God! I hope he didn't notice me staring. I knew I was no good at this friendship thing._

Bella felt like an idiot, standing there ogling her only friend's husband like he was some statue to gaze at in wonder. Alice had never described Jasper, but this man seemed about the right age. And as Bella examined him closer, she realized that his hair was nearly the same shade as Esme Cullen's.

Turning quickly, Bella gave the half-filled sugar shakers her full attention. Though the urge to look—to take just a little peek—remained, she refused to give in. When the man finally vacated his table and moved to the register to pay, Bella remained where she was standing, her legs frozen like a statue. Anger flushed through her as she listened to Carmen's attempts at flirting, though she was relieved that Jasper didn't seem to welcome her advances.

Thankfully, as she looked up at the clock, she realized her shift was over.

~ O ~

As Edward sat in his booth, taking his time enjoying his lunch, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of the petite brunette as she moved about the diner. _Bella._ Watching her with the other customers, Edward envied the ease and familiarity she displayed. At first look, there seemed to be nothing particularly special about her, but as he watched her, he began to notice the small things—things beyond her brown hair, brown eyes, and pale skin.

When she would smile at a customer, he found himself smiling back, even if the gesture wasn't meant for him. He noticed how she would bite her lip with nervousness as she poured water or coffee into waiting cups. He also decided that she must not like the waitress with the pink lipstick and frosted hair; whenever she would go near Bella, her entire body would stiffen momentarily.

Before long, he realized that his fries had gone cold and his sandwich was only half eaten, though he no longer felt hungry. Throwing a twenty dollar tip onto the table, he moved to the register to pay for his meal. As he stood at the register, ignoring the blatant flirting of the waitress that rang him up, his eyes kept drifting Bella's way, yet she never looked up.

Outside, he hopped into his truck, but as he turned the key in the ignition, the truck coughed and sputtered, refusing to start.

~ O ~

Exiting the diner, tips in hand, Bella was shocked to see Jasper under the hood of a rusty old Chevy. As she moved closer, she heard a string of muffled profanities as he tried in vain to figure out the problem. Normally, she was too shy to approach a stranger, but knowing that this was Jasper, Alice's husband, she found the courage to speak up.

"Excuse me, is everything okay?"

Shocked by the sound of her voice, Edward moved too quickly, banging his head on the underside of the hood as he climbed down from his perch atop the bumper.

"Shit!" he yelled, rubbing his head as he turned to face Bella.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" Bella began, but stopped as he turned toward her and smiled, continuing to rub the bump that was surely appearing on his head. "Something wrong with your truck?" As soon as the words left her lips, she felt embarrassment wash over her. What a dumb thing to say! Of course there was something wrong with his truck.

"Yeah, it won't even turn over. I was supposed to take it over to Blacks' later this afternoon. I guess I'll have to call and have it hauled in."

"You don't want to take your truck there."

"Is there something wrong with that garage?"

"No...well, I don't really know, but my sort-of-brother, Seth, works at Uley's in La Push. So I would recommend that garage."

"Sort-of-brother?"

"His mom is dating my dad. Umm…I could give him a call, if you want?"

"Thank you."

Bella dug around in her purse, trying to fish out the prepaid cell phone she rarely used. She really didn't see the need to have it, as she never ventured outside of Forks alone, but Charlie insisted she keep it with her at all times. She found the can of pepper spray he insisted upon as well, just before her hand finally felt the cell phone in the bottom of her bag. Powering it up, she hit speed dial three and waited patiently for Seth to answer.

"Bella! What's up, sister?"

"Hey Seth. I'm at the diner with a customer. His truck won't start and I was wondering if you could come by and take a look?"

"I just happen to be in the area with the wrecker. Be there in ten. Don't leave! I haven't seen you in weeks."

"Okay. See you in a few."

Bella ended the call, relaying to Jasper that Seth would be there shortly. She stood on the sidewalk uncomfortably for a moment, clasping her hands tightly in front of her. Jasper moved to the back of the truck, letting the rusty tailgate down. It groaned and squeaked as he lowered it, probably from years of disuse.

"You're welcome to sit with me, if you're waiting on your sort-of-brother."

Hesitating only for a moment, Bella walked to the back of the truck and gingerly moved to sit down. "Thanks."

"I'm Edward, by the way," the stranger said as he extended his hand toward Bella.

~ O ~

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**A/N: **Huge thanks to my beta lislar for reassuring and helping me flesh out my ideas. Thanks to shoefreak37 for pre-reading when I was having my weekly 2am freak-out. And, finally, thanks to Jjuliebee for the rec. Check out stories by any of these ladies, as they are all excellent. Reviewers get a tease!

Recs this week:

Lessons Extracted Through Using Sex For Underpaid Computer Knuckleheads by shoefreak37 and miss winkles – If you're looking for a hilarious crackfic, this might just be the one for you. It's a crossover with Zack & Miri Make a Porno.

Some Life in Me by Pinkpixiechick – I am completely obsessed with this story right now. After the tragic death of his family, Edward just walks away from his whole life. And then he meets Bella, who's been through some trauma of her own. It's so good!

Bam! Pow! Zap! by Alby Mangroves - A one-shot entry for the Public Lovin' contest. If you like Emmett and Rosalie, or just a good, smutty one-shot, definitely give this one a try.

See ya' next week!


	15. Sweet Fire

**Disclaimer: **SM owns Twilight.

Several people have asked about ages. Edward is 29 and Bella just turned 19.

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**Chapter 15: Sweet Fire**

"_I'm Edward, by the way," the stranger said as he extended his hand toward Bella. _

Bella bristled momentarily before extending her own shaking hand to Edward. "Bella," she whispered, feeling very uncomfortable and confused. There were rarely new residents in Forks and she was sure she'd never seen him around town, at least not before the day she dumped water all over him. He wasn't someone that she could imagine forgetting so easily. She had been completely convinced that he was Jasper, but he obviously wasn't. Well, at least now she didn't have to feel so bad about the ogling.

"Have you been working at the diner long?" Edward asked before clearing his throat, breaking Bella out of her haze. She realized that they'd been sitting there for several moments in complete silence.

"About a month now, I guess. Are you new in town?" she asked, her voice shaky and unsure.

"Sort of. I grew up here, but left for college. I just moved back, to work for my dad."

As Bella looked at Edward more closely, she could see that he was definitely older. She'd never been good at guessing a person's age, but if he had moved back after college, she would guess he must be in his early twenties.

"Did you grow up here?" Edward asked.

"I was born here, but my parents divorced and I lived with Ren—my mom. I moved back last year…to be closer to my dad."

Though that statement wasn't entirely true, Bella didn't feel comfortable sharing the details of her past with this stranger. It wasn't like they were friends and probably never would be; he didn't need to know about her situation. There were already so many prying eyes throughout the tiny town and she didn't feel like she needed the added scrutiny. She also knew that Edward didn't know her very well and was fearful he would judge her harshly, like so many people already had.

Bella scanned the parking lot, desperately hoping to see Seth pulling in soon. She heard the rumble of the old wrecker before she saw it. Seth hopped out and headed straight for her, throwing his arms around her and squeezing her tight. She giggled as he lifted her from the tailgate, instantly feeling the tension in the air dissipate.

"Where've you been hiding out, woman? We've missed you over on the Rez."

"I've just been busy," she replied, glancing at Edward and giving him a shy smile. "Seth, this is Edward."

"Hey man," Seth answered, sticking his hand out to shake. "This truck is sweet. Are you going to restore it?"

"It was a bit of an impulse purchase, but I'm hoping to, yes."

"Let me take a quick look under the hood, see if I can figure out the problem."

As Seth moved around to the front of the vehicle and busied himself beneath the hood, Bella and Edward continued to stand near the back end. Edward tried to be inconspicuous with his gaze, but he kept looking at Bella. Each time their eyes would meet, she would blush furiously and drop her eyes, toeing the loose gravel with her shoes. She would wait a few moments and then look up to Edward again. He would smile and she would blush, repeating the cycle once more. When the sound of the hood slamming down echoed through the air, Bella jumped and gasped, surprised by the noise.

"Dude, the engine is actually in pretty good shape, as far as I can tell. There are some hoses and wires that need to be replaced. I checked the battery cables and they all look good, so it's probably the starter. I'll have to haul it in to the garage to be sure, though."

"Sounds fine to me," Edward replied.

"Excellent. You can hitch a ride with me, or I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind giving you a ride home," Seth replied, discreetly wiggling his eyebrows in Bella's direction.

Edward rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, debating his options. He was intrigued by Bella and wanted to get to know her, but he didn't want to be an imposition to her, sure that she most likely already had plans for the evening. She'd probably had a long day at work and wanted to go home and relax.

"I think I'll just head to the garage with you, if that's okay? I'd like to get an idea of the cost of repairs."

"Alright. Just let me load this old beast onto the wrecker and we can head out."

As Seth loaded the truck onto the wrecker, Edward and Bella stood awkwardly on the sidewalk, watching Seth work. Edward continued to sneak glances at the petite waitress. She was so shy and awkward, yet there was something about her that intrigued him. He realized that he wanted to get to know her.

~ O ~

Sitting down for dinner that evening with Charlie and Sue, Bella was surprised when Seth came bounding through the front door. He strolled into the kitchen and walked straight over to Ben, who sat happily in his baby bouncer. Ben laughed out loud, obviously excited to see his uncle, as Seth tickled him and made funny faces. After spending a few quality moments with the baby, Seth sat down in the chair next to Bella. It was only then that she realized there was an extra plate sitting there; obviously Sue had known of his intentions.

Bella remained quiet throughout most of dinner as quiet conversation swirled around her. Sue was chattering about going to a baby shower in La Push, Charlie spoke of catching a group of teens smoking pot behind the grocery store, and Seth talked about work at the garage. Her mind kept wandering back to the diner—and to Edward. Hearing his name escape Seth's lips, Bella looked up from her plate.

"Ha," Seth laughed. "I knew that would get your attention."

"Wait. What?" Bella asked in confusion.

"I was just telling Charlie and Sue about Edward and his truck, about how I get to take the lead on restoring it. He's a cool guy, Bella. How long have you two been hanging out?"

Charlie's fork fell onto his plate with a loud clatter. "It's fine if you're seeing someone, Bella, but I think that I should meet him, make sure he's good enough for my little girl."

Before he could continue, Sue reached up and squeezed his forearm, effectively ending his inquisition.

"Did you meet someone, Bella?" Sue asked, a hint of excitement evident in her voice.

"No, it's not like that," she replied, shooting Seth an evil glare. "He's just a customer at the diner. When I was leaving, I noticed he was having trouble with his truck and offered to help. It was the least I could do since I dumped water on the man a few weeks ago. I didn't even know his name until today."

As dinner continued on, no one mentioned Edward again, but it didn't escape Sue's attention that Bella's cheeks had flushed a delicate pink when his name was initially mentioned.

~ O ~

Bella pulled into the driveway of a small bungalow in the residential section of town. The home was quaint, warm, and inviting. She sat there momentarily, admiring the lush landscaping, bright, inviting windows, and freshly painted shutters before moving into action, unbuckling Ben's car seat and grabbing his overstuffed diaper bag. Her shoulders were tense, nervous to finally be meeting Alice's husband, Jasper.

She rang the doorbell, taking a tentative step back, but before she had time to compose herself, the door flew open and Alice greeted her with a bright smile.

"I'm so glad you could come over," she beamed, reaching out to remove the diaper bag from Bella's shoulder. She glanced down momentarily to the carrier Bella was holding, but there was a blanket covering the baby, shielding him from the wind and light sprinkles of rain. Bella followed her through the entryway, into the living room, taking a seat on the plush, beige couch. Bella's eyes scanned the open doorways, waiting for Jasper to emerge.

Alice, noticing her frantic eyes, spoke up. "Jasper isn't here, unfortunately. He called a couple of hours ago; he's stuck in Port Angeles at some sort of meeting. I'm sorry you won't get to meet him today. But definitely next time."

Bella relaxed immediately and began unlatching Ben from his carrier. He stretched and squirmed as she worked to unfasten him. As she pulled him into her lap, she noticed Alice admiring him, her eyes filled with awe and wonder.

"Would you like to hold him?"

"Can I? You don't mind?"

Without answering, Bella handed Ben over, watching Alice's face light up as she looked at his cherubic face.

"He's beautiful, Bella," Alice said. "Jasper and I, we've been trying to have a baby, but no luck so far. That's why we moved here, to start a family."

After a quick discussion, the two women decided to just order a pizza and settle in for an evening of chick flicks. As they sat munching on popcorn, immersed in Teen Witch, one of Alice's favorite movies, Bella noticed Alice fidgeting beside of her, no longer paying attention to Louise as she prepared to cast a love spell on Brad.

"Jasper and I have been trying to have a baby for a long time—two years. I wanted to see a fertility specialist, but he's against the idea. He wants to just keep trying, but I think there's something wrong."

"Oh, Alice." Bella scooted closer, reaching to squeeze Alice's hand in reassurance.

"I'd just like to know. If there's something that can help us, I want to do that. But if not, adoption can take a long time and I'd like to get the process going. I'm ready to start a family."

"My pregnancy was an accident," Bella replied. "James didn't want anything to do with either of us and my mom didn't want to help out with a baby. That's how I ended up in Forks, with Charlie."

The movie was soon forgotten as Bella and Alice bonded and shared their tears. Alice spoke more about her difficulties with conceiving and the strain it was putting on her marriage. Bella shared everything that had happened to her in Florida, feeling relieved as she purged herself of some of the guilt and shame she'd been carrying.

"Enough of that!" Alice exclaimed, wiping an errant tear from her cheek. "Let's talk about something not so depressing, like the guy you met."

"What? I didn't meet a guy," Bella protested.

"Oh, Bella, did you forget that I'm psychic? I know you met a guy; now tell me all about him."

"There was this guy, at the diner…but really, it's nothing," Bella sighed, feeling somewhat disappointed that her interaction with Edward had been so brief and meaningless. Alice merely quirked a perfectly arched brow at Bella and crossed her arms across her chest, patiently waiting for more information.

"I mean, I guess he was attractive," Bella lied, knowing she found him to be very attractive, "but I doubt he'd be interested in me. Besides, I doubt I'll ever see him again."

"You'll never see him again? In Forks?

"Okay. So I'll probably see him again, but it doesn't even matter, Alice. Ben is my top priority; I don't have time to even think about a relationship."

"Just promise me you won't completely rule it out. At least give the guy a chance, even if it's just as friends. I have a feeling this is going to be good for you."

~ O ~

On Friday night, Bella sat on the couch with Ben in her lap, watching the evening news. Sue sat next to her, knitting, and Charlie was stretched out in his recliner, snoring gently, a can of Vitamin R clutched in his hand. Bella was momentarily startled as she heard the front door fling open, the sound of heavy footsteps echoing through the hall. Seconds later, Seth appeared in the entryway, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Grab your stuff, Bella. I've come to kidnap you."

"Seth!" she whined, knowing she wouldn't be able to wiggle herself out of whatever scheme he had planned. The overgrown oaf wouldn't take no for an answer. Most of the time, he simply dragged her out to the reservation, forcing her to sit around with his friends while they tinkered around on cars and the occasional motorcycle. Initially, she had been afraid that she would feel odd hanging out with a bunch of guys, but she quickly found her place within their group. They treated her like a little sister, protective over her to a fault. They didn't even complain when she brought Ben along, happily taking turns entertaining him.

"A little warning would have been nice. Ben hasn't even had his nap yet."

"I'll keep Ben," Sue interjected, her eyes never leaving the tv screen. Bella huffed, realizing that Sue was obviously part of whatever stunt Seth had planned.

"Fine, fine," she grumbled, kissing Ben's cheeks before handing him off to Sue. Bella stomped through the house, grabbing her favorite tennis shoes and a light jacket. "Let's go."

Seth merely grinned, leading the way out to his beat-up old Volkswagen.

~ O ~

As they approached the reservation, Bella could see the flames of a bonfire burning brightly on the beach. Loud shrieks and the sound of people laughing echoed through the salty air. Seth maneuvered his car into an unoccupied parking space, reaching into the back seat to toss an old flannel blanket in Bella's direction. Moving towards the back of the car, Seth pulled out a small cooler and paper bag of groceries, leading Bella down to the beach.

Nearing the raging fire, Bella noticed that the small gathering was made up mostly of people she already knew. Seth's friends were all there, along with their girlfriends, but there were a few faces that were new to her. She stopped short, however, when she glanced in the direction of Sam Uley and his wife, Emily. Sitting next to them on a small gathering of tree stumps, with a can of beer clutched in his hand, was Edward.

His pale skin was illuminated by the fading sun, the dancing flames of the fire highlighting the streaks of red in his auburn hair. His eyes crinkled as he laughed, obviously amused by something Sam had said. Bella felt queasy as the insides of her stomach fluttered, like the gentle touch of a moth's wings. She stood there momentarily, just watching, until Edward looked in her direction, their eyes meeting across the open expanse. As he smiled in her direction, she felt her body burn.

"Come on, sis," Seth said as he passed her, intentionally bumping his shoulder into hers. Snapped out of her daze, she followed him obediently, realizing too late that he was headed in a direction she wasn't ready to go, straight towards Sam and Emily—and Edward.

Bella stumbled through the wet sand, a million thoughts racing through her mind. She couldn't deny the stirrings of attraction she felt for Edward, but that didn't mean she needed to indulge them. She thought back to her relationship with James, those bittersweet moments when they had first met, when she'd felt a similar stirring deep within her. But those feelings she'd had for James in the beginning eventually faded away, revealing feelings of only friendship. Was her attraction to her Edward doomed to the same fate? Though it scared her to admit it, she somehow knew that this felt much different.

When they finally reached Sam and Emily, Bella was thankful that the sun had begun to set, hoping that the blush she could feel burning her cheeks wouldn't be as noticeable in the fading light. Emily rose up quickly, engulfing Bella in a hug. The two women hadn't spent a lot of time together, but Emily radiated warmth and kindness, always going out of her way to make Bella feel comfortable and welcome.

"Bella, have you met Edward?" Emily asked.

"Yes, at the diner," Bella replied, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear as she shot a small smile in Edward's direction.

"Edward and I got to talking when I hauled his truck in," Seth added. "So I invited him out, thought it would be good for him to meet some new people."

Bella simply nodded at Seth, not completely buying into his explanation. Though Seth was always friendly and outgoing, she felt as if there were some underlying motive to Edward's presence. Realizing that Seth had obviously picked up on her silly crush on Edward, she wondered if Edward had noticed as well. She suddenly felt even more embarrassed, allowing her hair to fall around her face, shielding herself from Edward's gaze as she sat down on a well-worn log.

Conversation swirled around her, as Sam and Seth regaled the small group with stories from the garage. They spoke of cars they'd worked on and the pranks they played on one another during their down time. Before long, Bella found herself laughing at their antics, no longer feeling quite as self-conscious.

With little warning, Seth and Sam shuffled off to start grilling the food. Then Emily ran off, going to speak to some of her girlfriends, leaving Bella and Edward sitting there alone. Bella sat there, staring at her hands in her lap, unsure of what to say or how to start a conversation. She listened to the sounds of the waves crashing, hoping for someone to save her from this awkward moment.

"Seth seems like a lot of fun," she heard Edward say. She smiled as she thought of Seth's jovial personality and smiling demeanor.

"He's always in a good mood, always smiling. And he loves to play practical jokes, so watch out." She heard Edward chuckle beside of her, and just like that, the awkwardness between them seemed to disappear.

The pair continued to sit together for the rest of the evening, exchanging stories and getting to know one another. They talked about the love/hate relationship they both seemed to have with the rainy little town, about movies and books they enjoyed, places they had traveled and places they still wished to visit. Edward spoke about the summer he spent backpacking through Europe with his friends, while Bella talked about all the places she'd moved to while living with her mother. She shared her love of classic literature, surprised to find that Edward had read many of the books she favored.

As she spoke, Edward watched her intently, seeing the emotions play out upon her face. She seemed somewhat guarded, but he enjoyed the information she was willing to share, desperately yearning for more. He refrained from questioning her too much, though he found himself desperate to know all of her hopes and dreams.

Bella felt happy and content, though she shied away from sharing more than surface information with Edward. She felt a bit guilty not sharing that she had a son, but it felt nice to talk to someone who wasn't aware of her situation and didn't judge her for past mistakes. The looks of pity she got from those around her didn't escape her notice, though they tried to appear ambivalent. She also feared that the knowledge that she had a son would cause Edward to reject her.

All too soon, the moon rose high in the sky and a cool breeze drifted in across the ocean. Bella shivered as she unfurled the blanket Seth had given her, wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Hey, Bella. You ready to go?" Seth asked as he jogged up, a buoyant smile stretched across his face.

"Umm…yeah, sure."

"Actually," Edward interrupted, "I could give her a ride, save you a trip into Forks, if you want," he continued, his statement sounding more like a question.

"I think that would be okay," Bella answered, looking up just in time to see Seth wink at her. She fought the urge to giggle, stepping closer to Edward and allowing him to lead her towards the parking lot.

~ O ~

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to lislar for her beta work, to shoefreak37 for pre-reading and helping me through my usual eleventh hour freak-out, and to Alby Mangroves for just getting it. I love you ladies hardcore.

As always, reviewers get a teaser.

Also, there most likely will not be an update next week. I'm still going to try, but no promises. See you in two weeks, hopefully sooner!


	16. A Wish For Something More

**Chapter 16: A Wish for Something More**

Edward moved to lead Bella toward his rental car, gingerly placing his hand on the small of her back. He realized belatedly that the gesture was probably too familiar for their acquaintance, but when she made no move to evade his touch, he allowed his hand to remain there. Bella felt the heat from his hand, as it seemed to sear straight through the layers of her clothing. Though she was initially shocked by the action, she allowed herself to take comfort in his warmth.

Once they arrived at his car, a non-descript sedan, Edward opened the door for Bella, allowing her to slide inside and away from the biting, cold wind that made its way in from the ocean. She gave him a timid smile as he closed the door and moved around to enter the car, starting it up and allowing the warmth from the heater to fill the enclosed space. Bella buckled her seatbelt and placed her hands in her lap, feeling nervousness and excitement moving through her body.

As he maneuvered the car onto the highway towards Forks, Edward adjusted the radio to a level that was loud enough to provide a distraction from the uncomfortable silence, yet soft enough to allow for easy conversation. Looking over at Bella, he noticed that her shoulders were tense and she was staring towards the floor, not paying attention to him, the road, or the high rate of speed at which he was traveling. Edward wondered if he had made a mistake in offering her a ride home.

"I'm warm enough now," Bella said, her voice barely audible over the sounds of the classical music that poured from the speakers. In the same moment, both reached for the adjustment dial, their fingers bumping in mid air. Though Edward's fingers were cold, likely from having spent so much time sitting on the beach, Bella still felt the fiery warmth that emanated from him, sending a delicious tingle through her fingers and straight up her arm.

"I haven't been to a bonfire in La Push since high school," Edward began. "My friends and I used to drive out there every weekend during the summer, build a fire, drink, and just hang out. Do you go to the beach there a lot?"

"Sometimes….I guess mostly when Seth drags me along. There usually aren't as many people."

"Crowds make you uncomfortable?"

"Not the crowds as much as being around people I don't know."

"Oh," Edward sighed, feeling as though the offer of a ride was definitely a bad idea. He should have known she'd be uncomfortable like this, stuck in a car with him on a dark, practically deserted road.

"I didn't mean—not you, really. We kind of know each other."

"Bella, it's okay. I know what you meant."

They soon arrived at the Forks city limits. Bella gave Edward directions, pointing him towards Charlie's house. When they pulled up, she was surprised to see that the cruiser was missing. Unbuckling her seat belt, she turned towards Edward.

"Thanks for the ride, Edward. It was really kind of you."

"You're welcome."

"Have a good night," Bella said, opening the door and moving to step out.

"Bella, wait," Edward said, reaching to rub his palm across the back of his neck, a sure sign of his anxiety and discomfort. "I know we don't know each other very well, but, well, I'd like to…get to know you better, that is. Would you want to maybe get a coffee with me one day, after work? I could pick you up at the diner or just meet you there. Whatever makes you comfortable."

"Sure," Bella replied, the words escaping her lips before she'd taken time to consider his request.

Edward waited until she entered the house, returning the wave she gave him. He exhaled a giant sigh of relief, wondering why this waitress suddenly made him feel like a 17-year-old boy again.

~ O ~

The house was quiet and still as Bella entered, the faint sounds of the television drifting from the living room. Bella toed off her shoes and headed that way, finding Sue sitting on the couch, watching crime drama reruns on TNT. The baby monitor lay beside her, causing Bella to frown. She hated not being there to put Ben to bed. She gave Sue a smile and a quick hello as she crept into the nursery, careful not to wake the baby.

The curtains were pushed open and soft moonlight poured into the room, allowing Bella to gaze lovingly upon the face of her sleeping son. His lips were puckered as he slept, his hands curled into tiny fists. Bella smoothed his hair and rubbed his belly before leaning over the rail to place a kiss on his forehead.

Though she knew she couldn't spend every moment with her son, part of her wished she could. It was so hard to leave him behind, whether she was going to work or just making a quick run to the grocery store. She worried about the months to come, when her classes in Port Angeles would start. She'd looked into compressing everything into two days per week, only taking a few classes, but that would still add to her time away from her baby. He was growing so quickly and she hated missing moments with him. What if she wasn't there the first time he walked or said his first word? The thought of missing those milestones nearly broke her heart.

With another kiss to Ben's cheek, Bella moved back into the living room and settled down on the couch next to Sue, resting her head on her shoulder. This was a common occurrence between the two, the gesture a sign that Bella had something on her mind. Sue moved her arm around Bella's shoulders and gave her a squeeze, a gentle reminder that she could speak openly. There weren't many secrets in Bella's life, but she knew that whatever she confided in Sue, it would stay between the two women.

It was in these moments that Bella felt like a child herself, a teenage girl still struggling and unsure. Though she was thankful for Sue's presence in her life, she was still sometimes saddened that these were moments she would never share with her own mother. It angered her that part of her still wished Renee would change, that she'd realize the error of her ways and try to make amends.

Since arriving in Forks, Bella had been holding out hope, silently wishing for some sort of correspondence with Renee, but nothing ever came. Deep in her heart, she knew their relationship was probably irreparable, but the broken girl inside of her couldn't let go of that dream. Sue had been everything Bella needed and she felt guilty that she sometimes still wished for the comfort and reassurance of her own mother, comfort and reassurance she'd never really received until Sue came into her life.

"Where's Dad?" Bella asked, curious as to where Charlie would be this late in the evening.

"There was a car accident between here and Port Angeles. He got called out. How was the bonfire?"

"It was good. There were a lot of people, more than usual." Bella bit her lip, wavering on whether or not to continue with her line of thought, knowing that Seth had probably already beat her to the punch. "Edward was there."

"Edward from the diner?" Sue questioned, pretending she wasn't already apprised of the events of the evening.

"Yes, Seth invited him after he hauled his truck in to the garage. I guess they're friends now."

"And what about you and Edward? Are you friends now?"

"I…don't know. I guess. I mean, he drove me home and invited me out for coffee after work this week," Bella stammered, feeling the heat that was surely staining her cheeks a brilliant shade of red. Even her ears were burning with this confession. It should have been such a trivial thing—getting coffee with someone new—yet she felt as though this was the gateway to something more; that thought scared her.

Bella twisted her hands in her lap, fidgeting as she tried to find the words to explain how she felt. Even before James, she'd found it hard to trust anyone, yet with him, she'd made the mistake of letting her guard down. She was so down and out, desperately yearning for someone to make her feel special—to make her feel wanted. Though she knew she was never in love with James, she did love him in her own way and the friendship they shared filled a void in her life.

His betrayal had completely broken her already downtrodden spirit, her own mother only adding to her despair. But Forks has been a much-needed change, helping her to heal and pick up the pieces of her life. She worried about whether or not she was ready to try again, to put her heart in the hands of someone else. Her inner voice screamed at her to flee, to wrap her heart up and keep it safe. She knew she should be content with what she had—a loving family and a beautiful son.

Part of her, however, wanted something more. When Bella had realized she was pregnant, she had cast aside so many of her dreams, feeling that college, a career, marriage, and even real happiness were completely out of her reach. Yet now, she'd found that she could still realize some of her goals; she just needed to rearrange her expectations. In just a few months, she would be starting college, delayed, but still an accomplishment. It might take her longer, but she knew she would graduate someday, transitioning into whatever career she chose.

Did that also mean that there was a man out there that could see past her transgressions, that would love and care for her, treating Ben as his own? There was no guarantee that Edward would be that man, but there was always the possibility. How would she know if she didn't try?

"Edward is…really great, but I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"This might not be anything, but it feels like something. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made before, but I think things have already started out on the wrong foot. I didn't tell him about Ben. I know I should have; I just couldn't get the words out. I didn't want to see that look on his face, like he felt sorry for me."

"Sweetie, it's not fair to him for you to keep that secret. He needs to know and it should come from you. And if he's really worth your time, it won't be an issue. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but at least you'll know."

Bella sighed in resignation, feeling the truth in Sue's words.

~ O ~

Later in the week, Bella was back at work, pouring hot cups of coffee and delivering greasy meals. The lunch shift had passed and the diner's patronage had lessened immensely, leaving only the pair of old men that came by each day to sip their coffee and talk about the weather. The constant rain left little to be said. Bella busied herself wiping down tabletops and sweeping the dirt encrusted floor. So engrossed in her task, she didn't hear or see Edward approach her, not until he gently placed his hand on her forearm, alerting her to his presence.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said as he registered the look of shock on her face.

"Are you here for lunch? Do you need a table?" she asked, realizing how silly her questions sounded with the diner practically deserted. She smoothed down her uniform and fiddled with the ruffled edge of her apron, trying to squelch her nervousness.

"Actually, I wanted to see if today would be okay for coffee?"

"Oh, that would be fine. But I won't be finished here for another hour or so."

"I can wait. I haven't had lunch yet."

"Grab a table and I'll get a menu. Water?"

"Water," he answered with a wink.

Bella walked quickly back into the kitchen, slumping against the counter as she tried to calm her racing heart. At the end of her shift, she would finally have her chance to tell Edward the truth. The fear of rejection overwhelmed her, but she knew that this was the right thing to do.

~ O ~

Rosalie stood behind the counter, watching the interaction between Bella and Edward with inquisitive eyes. Though it had been many years since she spent any amount of time with her old friend, she quickly realized that much about him hadn't changed. When Bella appeared through the kitchen door, heading towards Edward's table with a plate of piping hot food, Rosalie moved in that direction.

She sat down in the booth across from Edward without saying a word, watching and waiting. She wanted to see his interactions with Bella up close, to either confirm or deny her suspicions. Bella was easy to read, her emotions clearly visible on her face; her blush always gave her away.

Bella hesitated briefly before approaching the table, keeping her eyes downcast as she placed the burger and fries on the table. Finally lifting her face, her eyes quickly darted between Edward and Rosalie. Rosalie immediately noticed the blotchy pallor of her skin, the flush moving rapidly from her face to her neck. Satisfied that she was correct in at least one of her assumptions, she addressed the diminutive waitress.

"Bella, since things are a little slow, could you go and sweep around the back entrance? People have been smoking back there and throwing their butts on the ground; it looks terrible."

"Of course, Rosalie," Bella answered, sneaking a quick glance at Edward before walking away.

Having bought herself at least a few moments alone with Edward, Rosalie turned her icy gaze in his direction. She crossed her arms across her chest and simply stared at him….waiting. For several moments, Edward continued to eat his meal, trying desperately to ignore the heat he felt from Rosalie's penetrating glare. When he realized that she wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily, he put his cheeseburger back down on the plate.

"Well?" she asked as soon as their eyes met.

"Rosalie—"

"Don't _Rosalie_ me. What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything! I just came here for lunch."

"Edward, I realize that we haven't spent much time together over the years, but I know that cocky little smirk when I see it. So start explaining."

"What makes you think I'm not here for the good food and impeccable service?"

"Impeccable service? From the girl that dumped water all over you?"

Knowing that he'd talked himself right into her trap, Edward sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'm here to see Bella. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal? Are you kidding me right now? First of all, you do realize that she's nineteen, Edward? Nineteen, as in still a teenager, barely old enough to vote. Her father will kill you and I imagine the Chief of Police would know how to get away with it. I don't know all the details of her life, but I do know that girl has had a rough time for the past year or so. She doesn't need you adding to it."

"Wait—she's Charlie's daughter?"

"Are you even listening to anything I'm saying?"

"Yes! Jesus," Edward exhaled, running his hands through his hair. "We're just friends. I gave her a ride home from La Push a few days ago and we were supposed to meet for coffee. It's not a big deal."

"Just be careful…and don't say I didn't warn you when you're staring down the barrel of Charlie Swan's shotgun."

With her point made, Rosalie left the table and retreated back to the kitchen, leaving Edward with a head full of questions and not many answers.

~ O ~

After sweeping the sidewalks near the back entrance, Bella walked to her car, the gravel of the diner's back lot crunching underneath her feet. Digging around in the trunk, she was happy to find a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt that wasn't too terribly wrinkled. She was thankful that she usually kept a change of clothes in her car, never knowing when Ben might accidentally vomit down her back or have something even less appealing leak from his diaper. She had no desire to go for coffee with Edward while wearing her polyester diner uniform. Satisfied that she had everything she needed, she went back inside, dumping her things in the break room before heading back out to check on her tables.

Bella entered the dining area just in time to see Rosalie leaving Edward's table, making no effort to hide her apparent hostility towards him. She felt her stomach clench tightly, suspicious that their disagreement had something to do with her. Though there was no bad blood between her and Rosalie, Bella was intimidated by the beautiful woman. Rosalie was her boss, not one of her friends, and Bella did not want to get on her bad side. As the two passed near the kitchen door, Bella expected some sort of reprimand.

"If you're finished sweeping, check your tables one more time and then you can leave. I think Edward is waiting on you."

Bella nodded at Rosalie, moving swiftly to check on the few diners in her section. She refilled a few cups and collected some tips, then approached Edward, letting him know she'd be back out and ready to go momentarily.

Retreating back to the break room, Bella gathered her things and headed to the tiny bathroom in the back. She quickly removed her dress, thankful to be rid of the scratchy fabric. Pulling on the outfit from her car, she stopped to look at herself in the mirror, trying to use her hands to smooth out the wrinkles.

Her skin was flushed and overheated, likely from the heat emanating from the kitchen. Bella splashed some cool water on her face, hoping to sponge away some of the grease and sweat of a hard day's work. Her hair had been twisted up in a bun all day, so she let it down, allowing it to fall around her shoulders, a sea of wavy brown. Satisfied that this was the best she could hope for, she grabbed her bag and exited the tiny stall, anxious to spend some time with Edward.

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**A/N: **Thanks to lislar for her beta services, and to shoefreak37 and Alby Mangroves for pre-reading.

Reviewers get a teaser. See you next week, on Wednesday!


	17. Confessions

**Blah blah blah. I don't own these characters.  
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**Chapter 17: Confessions**

Bella entered the front of the dining car, anxious to begin her afternoon with Edward. He was standing near the entrance, obviously waiting for her. She tried to remain calm, to not allow her excitement to get the best of her, but she couldn't control the bright smile that stretched across her face. She wasn't experienced in matters of flirting and dating, yet she couldn't help but think that this was indeed a date. James was the only person she'd ever dated and he'd made his intentions clear from the start; with Edward, she couldn't be so sure.

Edward smiled as she approached, but his posture was rigid and his hands were clasped tightly into fists. Bella's smile faltered as she wondered about his sudden change in mood. He'd been flirting—at least she _thought_ he was flirting—with her as she'd taken his order and delivered his meal. Now he seemed annoyed, angry even. Bella took a deep breath, hoping to calm the paranoia that suddenly gripped her.

She could trace his change in mood back to his conversation with Rosalie. Bella worried her lip and wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling like she needed to hold herself together. Rosalie knew little of Bella's past before she arrived in Forks, but she was well aware of the one secret that Bella had been keeping from Edward, the one secret that could alter everything he thought about her: Ben.

As they began the short walk to the coffee shop, Bella silently wished that Edward would put his hand on the small of her back, as he'd done after the bonfire. She yearned for his touch, a comforting gesture to ease her fears, but as they walked, he made no attempt to touch her. He seemed to be deep in thought, his brow furrowed as he mumbled to himself.

Halfway to the coffee shop, Bella chanced a look his way, worry and apprehension marring her face. Edward caught her eye and let out a long, exaggerated sigh as he rubbed his hand across his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm being rude. Rosalie just infuriates me sometimes. She always has."

"What did she say to upset you so much?" Bella asked, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

"She's just the same old Rosalie—never afraid to speak her mind and always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Oh," Bella said, unsure of how to reply. "I really don't know her that well. I mean, we aren't really friends or anything. She's just my boss. Have you known her a long time?"

"Yeah, I was friends with her and Emmett in high school. We haven't exactly kept in touch over the past ten years, and she seems to think I'm the same guy I was back then."

"Ten years?"

"How old do you think I am, Bella?"

"I don't really know. I've never been good at that kind of stuff, but you mentioned before that you left Forks for college, so I assumed you were 22 or 23?"

"I'm 29. Does that bother you?"

"No, it's just not what I was expecting." Though it had never crossed her mind to enter into a relationship with someone so much older than she was, Bella wasn't bothered in by his admission. As a young mother, she'd always assumed she would eventually end up with a man several years older than her. Guys her age made assumptions about her based on her pregnancy, assumptions that simply weren't true. They also weren't looking to jump into a relationship with a girl that already had a child, a potential ready-made family. Even James wasn't ready for that responsibility and it was his baby she had carried.

"I'm only 19," Bella whispered, afraid that their age gap would cause him to view her differently, like a child.

"I know; Rosalie told me. You aren't like most other 19-year-olds."

Their eyes met and Bella gave him a hopeful smile, realizing that his comment meant their ages weren't an issue. He was right; she wasn't a typical 19-year-old. She had the worries and responsibilities of someone much older, and though Charlie and Sue had surely helped to lessen her burdens, she still struggled to keep her life in order.

When they reached the tiny coffee shop, Edward stepped up to open the door, allowing her to enter before him. Bella selected a small table in the corner, hoping to avoid the peering gazes of the other customers. She knew that this time with Edward was important, that it could define how their relationship would proceed. She felt guilty for not being entirely forthcoming with him during their earlier meetings, but she hadn't known that in such a short amount of time, his opinion would matter so much.

Almost as soon as they were in their seats, sitting across from one another, a waitress appeared and took their orders. Edward ordered a simple black coffee and Bella chose a mild tea, knowing that a bunch of caffeine would not be good for her already frazzled nerves. She picked at non-existent lint on her jeans before placing her hands on the table, lightly gripping the edge. How did she tell him that she had a baby? That James had abandoned them both?

"Have you ever been married?" Bella asked, suddenly hoping that there were some skeletons hidden in Edward's closet as well. He was older; it seemed like a logical question.

"No, not even close. I dated a lot in high school, but after that, I concentrated on school. I've had a few relationships over the years, but most of them didn't last very long.

"Have you ever been married?" he asked with a laugh.

"No," she replied, eyes staring at the flecks of gold on the white Formica tabletop.

"Bella, is everything okay?" Edward asked, reaching across the table to pry her hand loose from the edge of the table. He rubbed his thumb gently across her knuckles, silently waiting for her answer. She was looking down, her hair falling around her and shielding her face from his view.

"I have a baby," she whispered, so quietly that he was almost sure he'd misheard her. He heard a quiet sniffle before she reached up with her free hand, hastily wiping at the tears he could now see tracing lines down her cheeks.

Edward stopped his ministrations on her hand momentarily, shock coursing through his body. Rosalie had said Bella had gone through a rough patch, but he'd never even once considered something so life-altering. Knowing that she was only nineteen and working at the diner, Edward had assumed she'd just had some problem with going to college immediately after high school; maybe she couldn't come up with the money for tuition or wasn't ready to leave home yet. It was obvious from their conversations that she was very intelligent and getting accepted wouldn't have been a problem.

Bella was so sweet and kind. He couldn't imagine what she'd gone through to end up in that situation, or how she was even dealing with it all now. His shock turned to anger as he realized that the father must not be around; if he was, Bella wouldn't be here with him. What sort of man could do that—just walk away from his child?

"A boy or a girl?" he asked, his voice soft and low. He couldn't fathom how hard it must have been for Bella to confess this to him and he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. He'd never dated a woman with a child, but he wasn't opposed to the idea, though he was sure it would be an adjustment. He was a pediatrician after all; he loved kids.

"A boy—Ben."

"Do you have a picture?"

"Yes," she answered, reaching over to fumble in her purse. As she reached out to hand Edward the small photo, she finally looked up at him, their eyes meeting for the first time since she'd confessed. He smiled and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, hoping to convey his acceptance.

Edward's smile grew as he stared at the frayed photo of Bella and her son. She was sitting in a rocking chair wearing pajamas, her hair twisted up in a messy knot on the top of her head. In her lap sat a chubby little boy wearing nothing but a diaper. He had a small patch of brown hair on top of his head and big brown eyes that matched his mother's. Though it was obvious that Bella was tired, likely having been woken up for a late night feeding, Edward couldn't stop staring at the beautiful smile on her face. It was obvious that she loved her son very much.

"He looks just like you," Edward said, finally handing the photo back to Bella.

"That's what everyone says," she replied, a small smile finally breaking through all the anxiety and worry on her face.

"I don't mean to pry, but the father—is he around?"

She began shaking her head before he'd even finished his question. "No, he's still in Florida, I guess. We were already broken-up when I found out and his parents weren't happy about the situation. I guess he wasn't either, so they decided it was better if I came here, to live with my dad."

"They decided? What about what you wanted?"

"My mom, Renee, didn't want to help with the baby. And James' family wanted me to…get rid of it…so Forks was really my only option. But I'm happy here. My dad, Charlie, and his girlfriend, Sue, have been really understanding and helpful. I couldn't do it without them."

Bella and Edward continued to talk about Ben, time passing by quickly. Their drinks grew cold as they sat untouched on the table. Edward asked questions about Bella's son and she was happy to oblige him, though she feared that she was boring him with "baby talk." He didn't ask for any more information about James, and for that Bella was thankful. She'd only shared those stories with Charlie and Sue, and she wasn't sure she was ready to revisit old wounds.

"Rosalie mentioned that Charlie was your dad. I've known him my whole life. I used to go fishing with him and my dad when I was younger. I actually remember him talking about you, that you lived with your mom."

"You went fishing with Charlie?" Bella laughed, imaging a younger version of Edward out on the boat with Charlie, eating soggy bologna sandwiches and stale potato chips while they tried to catch _The Big One_. "Wait—is Carlisle your dad?"

"The one and only. I moved back here to work with him at the clinic. I was almost finished with my residency when Dr. Burty retired, so Dad kept the position open for me. I actually start working there in a couple of days."

"I guess that means I'll be seeing you in a few days." Bella blushed as she realized the implication of her statement: that Edward would want to see her again after today. "I mean, Ben has an appointment next week, with the new pediatrician."

"I can't wait to see you, both of you," Edward replied, reaching out once again to squeeze her hand.

~ O ~

Edward and Bella stood huddled together near the entrance of the coffee shop, unsure as to how to proceed. The weather had quickly shifted, the sunshine of the afternoon replaced with ominous clouds and swift moving winds. Fat drops of rain pelted the ground, splashing in the rapidly appearing puddles on the sidewalk. Bella stared out the window, hoping for the rain to abate but knowing that it wouldn't. This was Forks, after all.

Before she had a moment to protest, Edward latched onto her hand, dragging her out into the pouring rain. She gasped as the first ice cold drops fell upon her, shivering as they trickled down her skin. There was no time for her to think or protest as Edward pulled her down the sidewalk, laughing as he deliberately ran through the puddles, the water splashing his ankles and wetting his socks.

His boyish chuckles emanated through the air and Bella soon found herself laughing along with him. She mimicked his actions, stomping the puddles with great force, delighting with glee as the water soaked her shoes and the bottoms of her jeans.

As they arrived at the diner, Edward pulled her under the awning near the entrance. They stood there for several moments, catching their breath from the spontaneous run. Bella smiled as she looked down and saw that Edward still held her hand tightly in his own. It was a small gesture, but shared with him, it felt very intimate. When she looked up, she noticed that Edward was staring intently at their intertwined fingers.

When he raised his eyes to look at her, she was met with a blinding smile. His eyes twinkled with mirth, tiny laugh lines crinkling around the edges. She bit her lip as tension suddenly filled the air.

Bella felt the familiar tightening deep within her belly as a pleasing tingling sensation emanated from that point. As Edward gazed at her, she saw his expression soften. He moved his thumb lightly back and forth across the top of her hand, the tiny movement raising goosebumps up her arm. A shiver ran up her spine; the combination of his light, caring touch and the longing look he gave her was overwhelming.

"I had a nice time with you, Bella."

"Me, too," she answered, her voice sounding shaky even to her own ears.

"Do you think I could call you and maybe we could do this again?"

"I'd like that…a lot."

Edward pulled his cell phone from his pocket and punched her number in as she rattled the digits off to him, still holding her hand with his free one. It seemed as if she wasn't the only that was enjoying the prolonged contact.

"The rain seems to have let up a bit. This might be the best time to make our escape," he said. "Drive safe, Bella."

Edward leaned forward slowly, maintaining eye contact as he tried to gauge whether his actions were making her uncomfortable. She didn't flinch or move away, so he closed the distance between them, placing a soft kiss on the apple of cheek, lingering there momentarily. When he stood back up, he was elated to see that her cheeks were flushed a light pink and there was a smile on her face. He gave her hand one final squeeze before letting go.

~ O ~

Bella drove home in a hazy fog, a goofy grin stretched across her face. As she pulled into the driveway, she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. If possible, her smile stretched even wider as she read the text message from an unknown number.

_Will call soon. Have a good evening. –E_

Her smile immediately faltered, however, as she opened the front door and was met with the screeching wail of her son. Bella rushed into the nursery, finding Sue pacing the floor and gently rubbing Ben's back as she spoke softly to him.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?"

"It's just a tummy ache. I already called Carlisle and he recommended some drops. Charlie's on his way from the pharmacy right now."

"How long has he been crying?" Bella asked as she reached for her son.

"He's been fussy all afternoon, but it wasn't this bad until about twenty minutes ago."

Twenty minutes ago Bella had been running through the rain, laughing with Edward and enjoying a carefree afternoon, all while her baby was at home, crying in pain. Her stomach clenched as guilt overwhelmed her. She paced the room with Ben in her arms, whispering apologies in the ear of her sweet baby boy.

When Charlie finally arrived, the drops helped to soothe Ben, but he still occasionally whimpered and scrunched his face up in pain. Bella sat with him in the rocking chair, rubbing his little bloated belly. Tears pooled in her eyes, the stress of the day weighing heavily on her.

"I'm sorry, baby boy. Mommy's so _so_ sorry."

Memories from her childhood flooded her mind as she sat in the quiet room. She remembered all the times in elementary school when Renee would forget to pick her up, the hours she'd spent sitting in the office, crying and waiting for her mother to appear. Principals and teachers would ask if there was someone they could call, but there were no family members or friends to come to her rescue.

She remembered being sick and needing the comfort and coddling only a mother can give—but her mother wasn't there. She remembered forgotten holidays and birthdays spent alone in tiny apartments and run-down houses. Whenever she needed her mother, Renee was never there. Her absences from Bella's life could almost always be traced back to a new boyfriend or some scheme to wrangle one.

Bella had made a promise to Ben when she was pregnant, that she would always put him first, but when he needed her most, she wasn't there. Bella continued to cry as she compared herself to her mother, realizing that even though she swore she'd never be like Renee, she was more like her than she could have ever imagined.

She'd always hated the way Renee changed, morphing into the woman she thought her flavor of the week wanted her to be. Looking back, she realized she'd done the same thing with James. She was so lonely and desperate that she compromised herself, doing things she wasn't comfortable with, trying to be the girl she thought James wanted her to be.

It was hard enough now to leave Ben behind while she worked, but she couldn't handle knowing that she was out with Edward, having fun while Ben was home suffering. She had to put Ben first in her life, and in order to achieve that, she knew what she needed to do.

Later that night, Bella sat in her bedroom, quiet and contemplative. The baby monitor was silent; Ben had fallen asleep hours earlier after his stomach ache had subsided. She was reading one of her favorite books, yet she couldn't find the concentration she needed to enjoy it. Bella was sure she'd read the same sentence at least five times. She huffed out a sigh as she slammed the book shut.

Her cell phone began to vibrate, slowly dancing across the top of her nightstand. Picking it up, Bella sighed again as she looked at the name on the display. _Edward_. She squeezed her eyes shut as she flipped the phone open to answer the call.

"Hello."

"Hey, Bella. It's Edward. Ummm…I'm not calling too late am I?"

"No, it's fine."

"Good. I'm sure you have a lot to do, with the baby and all, so I won't keep you on here long, but I wanted to see if you'd like to go out to dinner this weekend? There's a new Italian place that just opened in Port Angeles and I'd love to take you."

"That's really sweet, Edward, but I don't think I can. I really want to. I just…can't." Her voice cracked as she finished, trying so hard to hold onto what little composure she had. "I think it would be better if we were just friends."

"Friends. Okay, yeah, that's…friends. We can do that." Edward sounded confused and disappointed, as if this was not the reaction he had expected. Bella couldn't blame him; she was sending very mixed signals, allowing him to hold her hand and kiss her cheek, then refusing his invitation for dinner mere hours later. She wished she could explain, that it was her and not him, but that explanations seemed clichéd and weak, even to her.

The line crinkled with static, but the only noise Bella could hear was the thundering of her own heart. She waited for him to question her, to ask why, but those questions never came. On the other end of the line, Edward was stunned into silence, wondering what had happened in the hours since he'd watched her pull away at the diner. It just didn't make sense.

"Goodnight, Edward," she whispered as she ended the call. Pulling her blanket over her head, she silently sobbed into her pillow, not wanting to wake Charlie and Sue who were sleeping just down the hall.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward replied, knowing that she'd already ended the call.

~ O ~

Edward sat at his desk, reading over charts and finishing up paperwork for the patients he'd seen earlier in the morning. His first day at the clinic had gone well so far, even though his mind wasn't completely on his work. He kept thinking about the abbreviated conversation he'd had with Bella, wondering what had gone so wrong.

He just couldn't understand how she'd gone from laughing and smiling with him after their date at the diner to asking that they only be friends later that very same day. It was such a strange turn of events and he couldn't help but think that something must have happened in the span of those few hours, something that caused her to drastically alter her feelings.

Edward was startled from his thoughts by a gentle knock on his open office door. He smiled as he looked up to see his sister-in-law standing in the doorway, a bag of food from the diner in her hand.

"Hi. I brought lunch," Alice said as she wiggled the white paper bag in the air.

Edward began to move files and folders aside, clearing away the clutter on his desk. The smell of greasy burgers filled the air, making his mouth water. After Alice had unpacked their meals, the pair ate in silence for several moments. Edward noticed that Alice was mostly picking at the food, a contemplative look on her face.

"Bella came by the shop this morning." Alice continued swirl a fry in ketchup, not making eye contact with Edward. He sat patiently, waiting for her to elaborate.

"She seemed upset, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I feel like it had something to do with you."

"I don't know what happened, Alice. We met for coffee and I thought things were fine. She even told me about Ben. But when I called her that night to ask her out to dinner, she said she just wanted to be friends."

"I think it's hard for her to trust people. She told me some of what happened to her in Florida, but I feel like she left out the really bad stuff. She's just scared, Edward."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Just be patient. Give her some time. Be her friend, if that's what it takes. Just don't give up on her yet. She's worth it."

~ O ~

Bella stopped and took a deep breath before opening the door to Forks Community Wellness Center. Ben was nestled in his baby sling, cuddled against her torso. He was quietly drifting off to sleep, completely unaware of the tension that wracked his mother's body. Bella stepped up to the reception desk and hastily scribbled Ben's name down on the sign-in sheet, eyes darting around, looking for a glimpse of unruly auburn hair.

Aside from a few random text messages, she hadn't spoken to Edward since she made the decision that they could only be friends. He was probably confused, maybe even angry, but she couldn't blame him for that. She still desperately wanted to spend more time with him, but her wants and needs couldn't come first anymore.

The clinic was practically deserted in the early morning. Bella had taken the first appointment of the day, needing to get in and out quickly before she had to start her afternoon shift at the diner. After only sitting in the waiting area for a few minutes, the nurse called Ben's name.

Bella walked on shaky legs as she followed the nurse back to one of the children's exam rooms. The nurse took Ben's temperate, weighed and measured him, then placed his chart on the door for the doctor. _For Edward_. Bella's stomach was in knots as she waited and she suddenly wished that she'd asked Carlisle to continue being Ben's primary care physician.

Ben was on the exam table, happily babbling away as he chewed on his fingers. Bella gently wiped the drool from his chin and tickled his feet, causing him to erupt with a loud laugh. She pulled up his shirt and blew raspberries on his belly, laughing at the delighted little squeals that erupted from his tiny body.

Feeling another presence in the room, she glanced over to see Edward standing in the doorway of the exam room, smiling at the scene that was playing out in front of him.

"Sorry," he said. "You both looked like you were having a good time; I didn't want to interrupt."

Edward leaned casually against the doorframe. He was wearing dress slacks and a tie, the gentle blue of his shirt a sharp contrast to his bright green eyes. His hair was styled haphazardly and Bella could see the hint of a five o'clock shadow. Bella felt the nervous knots in her stomach loosen, slowly being replaced by a delightful tingling.

"This is Ben."

Edward stepped closer to the exam table, placing the file he held on the nearby counter.

"Hey, little man. How are you doing today?" he said in a soft voice as he picked Ben up and held him upright on the table. Ben immediately began to bounce up and down on his legs, one of his new favorite activities. "He's strong. Is he sitting up on his own, rolling over?"

Just like that, Edward moved into doctor mode and began his examination of Ben. He measured and weighed Ben a second time, then checked his hearing and eyesight. Bella told him about Ben's recent stomach troubles and Edward was quick to offer solutions for Bella to try. As she talked to him, she realized that not only was he a smart, attractive man, but also a caring and concerned doctor.

When the time came for Ben's immunizations, Bella found herself grimacing as Edward gave him shot after shot. There were a whole round of immunizations and his sobs made her feel uneasy. Once they were finished, she was shocked to see Edward pick Ben up from the exam table and hold him close to his chest. Edward rubbed his back and whispered to him, words that Bella couldn't hear. Ben sniffled and whined a few times, but quieted down rather quickly.

As she watched Edward holding and caring for her son, Bella felt a pang of resentment and jealousy deep within her heart—not for herself, but for Ben. For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine how different things would be if Ben had a dad, a male presence in his life to care for him the way she did. Charlie and Seth were both strong figures and would continue to be as he grew up, but they could never take the place of a father.

Bella stood there quietly, wanting to prolong the moment as long as possible. Edward continued to rock Ben, lulling him to sleep. As she stood there, she imagined not just any father for Ben, but Edward as his father. She imagined an older Ben, going on fishing trips with Edward and Charlie. And she saw herself with a family…with Edward, Ben, and a little girl with her brown hair and Edward's green eyes. She was jolted from her daydream when she heard Edward gently whispering her name.

"He's asleep. Do you want me to walk with you out to your car, so he doesn't wake up?"

"You don't have to. I'm sure I can manage. You probably have other patients waiting."

"They can wait just a few more minutes," Edward replied as he turned to make his way towards the entrance. Bella followed him through the clinic, carrying Ben's diaper bag, opening doors when Edward needed her to. When they reached her car, Edward didn't hesitate as he put Ben in his car seat and buckled him in snugly.

"Thanks, Edward," Bella said, standing beside her open car door.

"You're welcome." Standing there, Edward realized how much he'd missed spending time with and talking to Bella in the past few days. It should have felt odd to miss her after knowing each other for such a short amount of time, but Bella had jumped into his life and overwhelmed his thoughts. He realized that he wanted to spend time with her in any way that she deemed acceptable.

"I'm sorry about before…about dinner. I wanted to go, but Ben needs me."

"Well, you can always make it up to me now," Edward said with a smile. "How about we meet one day for lunch, whenever you're free." He knew that he was probably overstepping the boundaries she'd tried to set, but he had to try.

"Edward, I don't think that's a good idea."

"You said friends, right? Friends eat together, go to the movies, hang out…"

"I don't know."

"Just come. Bring Ben with you." Bella was surprised. She'd never even considered that he'd want to spend time with her and Ben.

"I guess that would be okay," she replied with a smile.

"Great. I'll call you." Edward leaned forward quickly and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before retreating back inside the clinic.

Bella drove home with a smile on her face, her cheek still tingling where his lips had been.

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**A/N:** Thanks to lislar for being a super fast beta. I sent this chapter to her way late and she got it back to me in 24 hours! Thanks for shoefreak37, Alby Mangroves, and m81170 for pre-reading.

Reviewers get a sneak peek of the next chapter. Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, and rec'ing this story. I really appreciate it!


	18. Beautiful Brown Eyes

Sorry for the short chapter. Writer's block is a real bitch.

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**Chapter 18: Beautiful Brown Eyes**

_One month later…_

Bella shuffled through the house, hastily throwing things into Ben's diaper bag as she tried to locate her lost shoe. She was running behind, trying desperately to get herself together. As she came bustling around the corner into the living room, she ran right into Charlie.

"Whoa. Slow down there, kiddo. What's got you in such a rush?"

"Sorry, Dad. Nothing is going right today and I was supposed to be at Edward's ten minutes ago."

"You headed over to the Cullen's?"

"No, Edward finally got everything moved into his house. Ben and I are going over there for the evening."

At this admission, Charlie made a tempestuous face, but remained mute.

"Dad!" Bella said with an exasperated sigh.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't have to; that look says it all."

"I'm sure he's turned out to be a nice…man…but I just think he's a little old for you."

"We've been over this before, Dad. We're just friends."

Charlie raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay." When he moved past her in the entryway, Bella rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated huff.

Her day had been mediocre at best, seemingly headed downhill. Bella had been up before the sun, arriving at the diner ten minutes late to start an early morning shift. She wasn't used to working the breakfast rush, filling in for another waitress that was out sick. When her shift was finally over, the rain was pouring down and she realized she'd forgotten her umbrella in her car.

Bella made a mad dash through the back parking lot, her car parked in one of the last spots. As she raced through the loose gravel, she managed to turn her ankle over, not enough to cause a sprain, but just enough to be painful and annoying.

Ben was fussy when she finally arrived at home, refusing to nap and crying unless she rocked him in the rocking chair. Once she'd finally gotten him to sleep, she put him down for his afternoon nap, racing up the stairs to rush through a shower. She dressed quickly, already hearing his quiet coos coming through the baby monitor, expecting his wails of discontent to start at any moment. When Bella was finally ready to go, she raced downstairs to get Ben dressed. She rushed through the motions, only to realize that his diaper had leaked all over her jeans. After changing her clothes once more, that was when she realized her shoes were missing, and she was already late.

Then, Charlie had to start. Though he hadn't voiced much of his displeasure this time, he'd previously made it known that he wasn't exactly comfortable with Bella's relationship with Edward. She'd assured him over and over that they were nothing more than friends, but Charlie wasn't buying it. The situation wasn't helped by Sue's constant description of their outings as "dates" or the teasing and wiggling eyebrows Seth was always throwing her direction.

When Charlie would voice his displeasure, Bella would remind him that Carlisle was one of his best friends and that he'd known Edward since he was a small boy. He would counter that while he had known Edward as a young man, he'd had very little contact with him in the past ten years; a person could change a lot during that time, especially living in a big city like Chicago.

It was an argument that usually ended in a stalemate, but Bella couldn't find it within herself to be angry at her father. He was just looking out for her, trying to protect her. She knew that he worried about her being taken advantage of, but also she knew that Edward wasn't that kind of man. Deep down, she thought Charlie did too, but the age difference automatically caused him to be concerned.

Finally gathering everything she would need and strapping Ben into his car seat, Bella drove toward the edge of town and Edward's small home. He'd brought her by a few days before he moved in while she was on her lunch hour, anxious to show off where he would soon be living. Though she knew he enjoyed spending time with his parents, Edward was definitely tired of living at home.

As she pulled into the driveway, Bella exhaled a loud groan. Her day had just gone from bad to worse. Sitting in the driveway was Jasper's pretentious and over-priced Porsche. It stood in stark contrast to Edward's classic pick-up, its shiny yellow paint glistening under the setting sun. She rested her head against the steering wheel as she grumbled quietly to herself.

She'd finally met Jasper three weeks prior, at a dinner Alice had arranged at their home. Bella had been excited to finally meet the man her friend was so obviously in love with. She was shocked, however, by the cool and detached demeanor that Jasper exuded. Though he hadn't gone out of his way to be rude to her, she got the distinct impression that he was not pleased with her or her friendship with his wife. Bella had cornered Alice in the dining room, quietly asking if she'd done something to offend him, but Alice just brushed off her concerns and implored her to give him time.

Since that tense dinner, Bella had the displeasure of Jasper's company on two other occasions. She assumed Alice had said something to him about his behavior, as he no longer looked at her with anger in his eyes. Instead, his face was cold and devoid of any emotion, a blank mask. He would occasionally give her a tight smile, only speaking to her when necessary, but from time to time his façade would slip and Bella could see that bright flames of fury that danced in his eyes.

Lost in her own internal musings, Bella was brought out of her stupor by a short and rhythmic tapping against the glass pane of her car door. She looked up to see Edward standing in the sprinkling rain, a gentle smile on his face. When she unlocked the door to get out, Edward immediately moved to the back, quietly speaking to her son. Bella couldn't help but smile as she heard the squeal of laughter Ben emitted as Edward pulled him from his car seat.

In the time they'd spent together over the past month, Ben had grown quite attached to Edward. At first, Bella had been wary of allowing her son to become attached to someone that wasn't guaranteed to be in his life, but she soon realized that there was no reason to believe their friendship would fail. After all, Edward was her _friend_—not her boyfriend.

"Sorry about Jasper," Edward said. "He just dropped by and parked himself on my couch. I can't seem to get rid of him."

"Is Alice here, too?"

"No, she's in Port Angeles. I already tried to call her. If Jasper makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and I'll get him out of here, okay?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

Of course, as soon as they entered Edward's living room, Bella realized that things probably wouldn't be fine. Jasper was stretched out on the couch, nursing a beer, a football game blasting from the surround sound speakers. When he saw Bella enter the room, he immediately scowled. Feeling uncomfortable, Bella took a seat on the far side of the room, as far away from Jasper as she could manage.

"I guess I'm interrupting your date," Jasper mused, a distasteful look on his face.

"It's not a date," Edward and Bella both stated at the same time.

"Jasper," Edward warned in a firm tone. Jasper simply rolled his eyes and resumed watching tv.

"I should start on dinner," Bella stated, moving to grab the small bag of groceries she'd brought with her. Edward gave her a look of exasperation, obviously feeling the tension in the air. She just gave him a small smile as she moved into the kitchen.

~ O ~

Edward could hear Bella moving about in the kitchen, the sounds of pots and pans clanging together echoing through his tiny home. He bounced Ben up and down on his knee, smiling as the little boy laughed, his chubby cheeks flushed a subtle pink.

"Are you sure you should be spending so much time with that kid?" Jasper asked. "I mean, he's not yours and it seems like you're a little attached."

"Jasper, could you please not start this with Bella here?"

"I'm just trying to warn you, bro. What are you going to do when the two of you break-up and you can't see the baby anymore? And you will break up. That girl's practically a child herself."

"She's not a child and we're not dating, for the thousandth time."

"Then why aren't you dating someone else? I'm sure there are some hot nurses or something at the clinic."

"I just haven't met anyone I'm interested in."

"So if you met a woman you liked, besides Bella, you'd go out with her?"

"I—"

"You keep telling me you're just friends. If that's true, then go out on a date with somebody else."

"I told you, I would go out if I met someone, but Forks is a small town. It's not like there are lots of available women."

"No worries. I've already found the perfect woman for you. I'll set you up."

"I don't need you to find dates for me."

"Oh, I think you do. Otherwise, you end up like this," Jasper stated, waving his hand around to emphasize Edward's current situation with Bella. "Look, I get that you're older and you want to get married and start a family, but playing house with some girl isn't the way to get that. You need to date a _real _woman, someone that's ready for a commitment and a relationship, not some fickle girl that's going to string you along with some 'just friends' bullshit until someone better comes along."

Edward vehemently denied Jasper's accusations, the frustration evident in his tone, but his younger brother was unrelenting. Jasper knew exactly how to push Edward's buttons, to play upon his fears and insecurities.

Though Edward hadn't considered even for a moment that he would meet someone else, his mind had played out many scenarios in which Bella did. Most boys her age weren't ready to deal with the responsibility of dating a woman with a child, but what if she met the one that was? He couldn't even fathom the thought of seeing her with someone else, of Ben smiling at laughing with another man. Their friendship wouldn't survive it.

He worried that his growing feelings were one-sided. Bella had never really explained why she only wanted to be friends, simply stating that it was "for the best." Edward had felt that growing spark between them, the excitement of a new relationship. As they spent more time together, his feelings began to grow, even under the guise of a platonic relationship. He couldn't help but to become more enamored with her as time passed. Bella wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, but she was pretty in a very girl-next-door sort of way. Though her sweet face and kind eyes were what initially drew him in, it was her loving heart and self-sacrificing nature that kept him interested.

Edward had dated women in the past that were vain and self-absorbed, women desperately looking to make their own lives easier. The Chicago dating scene had been filled with vapid social climbers that could have cared less about him, more interested in what he could do for them or where his name would take them. He was by no means one of the city's playboys, but he was from a moderately wealthy family and was well-respected in his field. That was enough to draw attention from some women that wouldn't have otherwise been interested. He knew that if he'd lived in a cramped studio apartment and worked a blue collar job, his dating life would have been much different.

Moving back to Forks had been a welcome change for him, a chance to begin the next chapter of his life. School was finished, his career was fulfilling, and he'd just purchased a new home; now, all he needed was someone to share his life with. He was looking for someone that shared the same small town values as he did, knowing that Forks was the perfect place to raise a family.

He'd entertained notions that maybe Bella was that woman. She hadn't been dealt the easiest hand in life, yet she persevered and made the most of her situation. He admired her for the care and concern she showed for her son. There were much easier options she could have chosen, but she made the difficult decision and sacrificed her own hopes and dreams to care for Ben. Watching her with Ben, he was enraptured by her patience and gentle nature. She was the kind of mother he imagined his own children would have someday.

As his feelings grew, however, Bella gave no indication that she felt differently for him. Aside from the occasional hug or quick kiss to the cheek or forehead, she had made her physical boundaries very clear. Sometimes when they were watching a movie together or late night tv, she would cuddle into Edward's side, but as soon as the program was over, she would revert back to keeping her distance. He'd wanted to spend more time with her, hoping to change her mind about the boundaries of their relationship, but now he wondered if his efforts were all in vain.

"She's a nice lady, Edward. Well educated and closer to your own age. I think you'll really like her."

"Okay," Edward replied.

"Okay," Jasper answered with a grin.

Bella emerged from the kitchen moments later to announce that dinner was ready. Edward already felt the feelings of betrayal swimming in his stomach.

~ O ~

On Saturday night, Edward eased his truck into the driveway of a small brick home located between Forks and Port Angeles. His stomach tightened with anxiety, but he couldn't be sure whether it was the nerves of a first date or the sting of guilt lodged deep within his belly. With one final deep and calming breath, he exited his truck and rang the doorbell.

He didn't know much about Charlotte, just that she'd moved to the area from Alaska and was a biology professor. Jasper spoke highly of her and thought their love of science would be something they had in common. Edward had called her two days before, to confirm the date his brother had set up for him. He wiped his sweaty palms on the thighs on his trousers, anxiously waiting for the door to open.

When the door finally swung open, Edward smiled routinely, his eyes betraying him. The woman that stood before Edward was nothing like he had expected. Charlotte had perfectly styled blonde hair and expertly applied make-up. Her clothes were tailored and expensive looking, her nails polished a bright red. As Edward gazed into her sparkling blue eyes, a wave of nausea passed through his body. She was the exact opposite of Bella and everything about her was all wrong.

As Edward led her to his sturdy old truck, he walked stoically beside her, his hands flat against his thighs. The drive to The Lodge, the nicest restaurant in Forks, was mostly quiet. Edward struggled to keep the conversation flowing, feeling unsure and out of place. When they arrived, they were quickly ushered to a table in the back. Edward tried to listen and be attentive as Charlotte prattled on about her hometown, her job teaching biology at the college in Port Angeles, and her friendship with Jasper, but nothing felt right.

She reminded him of the women in his past, the ones that weren't right for him at all. He couldn't deny that she was attractive, with her thick blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but Edward yearned for something warmer. He imagined soft mahogany hair and deep brown eyes. Even though he and Bella weren't together, he still felt as if he was betraying her. How had he ever let Jasper convince him this was a good idea?

The sound of a baby crying at a nearby table drew Edward's attention. A small little girl with a tuft of brown hair sobbed loudly as her mother tried to comfort her, cuddling her in her arms as she cooed in her ear. Edward thought of Ben—of his chubby, red cheeks and gummy smiles. He thought of his pride as he watched Ben roll over for the first time, of his childish giggles as Edward tossed him about and made funny faces. Even as the mother offered her comfort, the baby continued to cry.

"That woman should shut her brat up. I don't know why people bring babies out in public like this. I can't enjoy my dinner with some kid wailing away."

"You don't like kids?"

"Not at all. Being someone's mother is definitely not a role I ever see myself in."

Suddenly Edward wondered exactly what about this woman made Jasper think she was the _perfect_ woman to set him up with. It seemed the only thing they had in common was a love of science; in every other aspect, they were total opposites. Edward began to try to figure out a polite way to end this date without being rude.

He smiled as his cell began ringing in his pocket, interrupting his half-hearted conversation with Charlotte. _Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes, _his ringtone sang. He knew it was rude to accept the call, but he couldn't ignore it. _Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes._ Apologizing to Charlotte, he moved quickly from the table as he accepted the call. _I'll never love blue eyes again._

"Bella? Is everything okay?"

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to lislar for being my beta, even though she didn't get to look over this one, and to shoefreak37 for pre-reading and being my shoulder to cry on.

Speaking of shoefreak37, she wrote a lovely review of _blossom_ that was featured on The Twilight Awards. http:/www(dot)thetwilightawards(dot)com/2010/05/fic-review-blossom(dot)html

I will also be contributing a side-shot from this story from Charlie's POV to the Fics for Nashville compilation. For more information: http:/community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/ficsfornash/

Edward's ringtone is _Beautiful Brown Eyes_ by Rosemary Clooney.

Reviewers get a teaser. Any guesses as to what Jasper's deal is? See you next week!


	19. Friend is a Four Letter Word

Thanks for lislar for being a quick and thorough beta, and to shoefreak37 for pre-reading.

* * *

**Chapter 19: Friend is a Four Letter Word**

"_Bella? Is everything okay?"_

"Edward." He could hear the relief in her voice, followed by a small sniffle. Before he could ask her what was wrong, a piercing wail cut through the silence between them. Bella's sweet voice carried through the line as she softly shushed Ben, trying to soothe and quiet his crying. Edward imagined her pacing back in forth in the nursery, rubbing Ben's back as she lovingly spoke in his ear. As the crying became a dull whimper, Edward heard another small sniffle and a sigh before Bella's voice came through once more.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I just…don't know what to do. He had a fever earlier today and I gave him some medicine, but it's coming back, he's crying, and I feel overwhelmed. I think something's wrong and Sue and Charlie are in Seattle visiting Leah for the weekend."

"Just sit tight and I'll be there in a few minutes."

"You don't have to. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have bothered you. I can just drive him to the ER in Port Angeles."

"Bella, there's no way you can drive and take care of Ben at the same time. There's no need for you to do that when I'm right here. Just wait, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Turning back towards the table, Edward blanched as he saw Charlotte sitting there, idly swirling her straw in her drink, a pensive look on her face. With worry over Bella and Ben clouding his thoughts, Edward had completely forgotten about her.

"Shit, shit, shit," he cursed under his breath as he approached the table.

"Is everything okay?"

"No, there's an emergency with one of my patients that I need to take care of."

"Well, then let's go," Charlotte replied, rising from the table to put on her coat.

Edward floundered for a moment. He did not want Charlotte to accompany him to check on Ben, but it would take nearly an hour to drive her home and then get back to Forks. There just wasn't enough time; Bella needed him.

Sighing in resignation, Edward dropped the money for their meal on the table and followed Charlotte to his truck. They rode in near silence, the radio playing softly inside the tense atmosphere of the cab. Edward tightened his grip on the steering wheel, anxious over what was to come. He fretted over whether Charlotte's presence would upset Bella, but hoped she would realize things weren't as they seemed.

After parking the car, Edward turned towards Charlotte, considering asking her to wait in the car. He knew it would be rude to do such a thing, but he figured he could play it off as a breach of patient confidentiality. The words died on his lips as he saw that she already had the door open, stepping out onto the cracked pavement of the Swan's driveway. Edward exited the car as well, striding quickly towards the front door.

Not stopping to knock, he opened the door and immediately went in search of Bella, Charlotte following closely behind him. Turning to enter the small living room, he was suddenly engulfed by a pair of pale arms, a flurry of brown hair cascading all around him. Bella squeezed him tightly around his waist and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders in return.

When she pulled away, he could see that her face was puffy and her eyes were red-rimmed. Before he could speak, Bella gasped as a strange expression crossed her face, finally noticing Charlotte standing behind him.

~ O ~

Bella's gaze fell upon the woman standing behind Edward. She was sleek and shiny, like a red sports car or a new Barbie doll—perfectly put together. Bella felt inadequate in her old sweats and faded t-shirt, her hair a snarled and tangled mess. As she appraised the pair before her, realization dawned; Edward had been on a date.

"Hi, I'm Charlotte," the woman said, extending her hand in Bella's direction.

"Bella," she answered, unable to look the woman in the eyes.

Her face flushed in embarrassment and hurt. Bella twisted the hem of her shirt in her fingers, unsure of what to say now. She'd been so relieved when Edward had said he would come, but now she felt guilty for interrupting what had likely been a romantic evening with the statuesque woman by his side. And though she had been the one to insist upon a platonic relationship, it pained her to see that he'd taken her advice, that he'd moved on without her.

Bella had hoped that he would wait, entertaining the notion that there was some inexplicable bond between them. She'd given him no indication that her feelings had changed, maintaining her distance, but she'd secretly hoped he would see through her façade. Her internal musing sounded juvenile to even her own ears; it wasn't as if Edward could read her mind.

Soft whimpers from the baby monitor pulled Bella's attention back to Edward and the reason he was here. Quickly, she explained to him that Ben had been running a fever on and off throughout the day, that she'd given him medication and a cool bath, as suggested by Sue, but the fever still had not broken. Ben had been cranky and crying for most of the day, finally succumbing to exhaustion just before Edward had arrived.

Charlotte gingerly sat on Charlie's old plaid couch, content to wait in the living room as Bella and Edward moved to the nursery. Ben was lying in his crib, hands in his mouth, drool dribbling down his chin. His cheeks were puffy and tear-stained, his hair damp with sweat. Edward dropped his medical bag on the floor and immediately pulled Ben from his crib.

Edward held Ben closely to his chest, placing a kiss on the baby's forehead as he gently rubbed his back. It was a bittersweet moment for Bella as she watched the two together, moved by the care and concern Edward showed for her son. As Edward moved across the room towards the changing table, Bella picked up his bag from the floor and followed.

After laying Ben on the table, Edward began his examination: checking his eyes, ears, and mouth. He took his temperature, noting that while Ben did have a fever, it was not severe enough to warrant hospital care. He poked and prodded on Ben's belly, then listened intently to his heart and lungs. Bella stood nervously by, silently praying that there was nothing seriously wrong with her baby.

"Poor little guy," Edward said, picking Ben up from the table as he began to cry again. "Nothing serious, but he's got two things going on at once, which would explain why he's so miserable."

"Two things?"

"He's teething and he has an ear infection. You can pick up something over-the-counter for the teething, but he'll need an antibiotic for his ear. I can go ahead and write a prescription, but you'll need to bring him by the clinic later this week. I'd like to get a better look at it there, just to be sure. The otoscope I carry with me isn't as powerful as the ones we have in the office."

"Sure, I can do that." Bella stood there for a moment, trying to find the courage to ask him about Charlotte. Though she knew it would be painful to hear, she wanted to know how long they'd been dating, if things were serious between them.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your date," she whispered, eyes cast down towards the floor.

"You didn't interrupt anything, Bella." Edward moved closer to her, placing two fingers gently under her chin, forcing her to look up. "I'm glad you called."

Bella felt the heat from his fingers deep within her skin, blooming fiery red on her cheeks. His gaze was piercing, his dark green eyes consuming; she couldn't look away. She held her breath momentarily, willing her eyes to stay open as Edward moved closer towards her, Ben still in his arms. In that moment, everything seemed to fade away and all she wanted was for him to kiss her.

She inhaled a shaky breath as her eyes finally closed, feeling Edward moving closer to her still. Bella felt his breath on her face, the anticipation causing her stomach to clench, a tingling sensation emanating from the knot deep within her belly. Just before she expected to feel his lips touch her own, she felt him stop and take a deep breath. He pressed a tender kiss to her burning cheek, resting his forehead against hers.

"I should go," he whispered.

Bella simply pulled away and nodded, the words she wished to say dying in her throat. When Edward placed Ben in her waiting arms, she held him close, inhaling the sweet baby scent of his forehead. She cradled her son gently in her arms, knowing she needed to be strong for him, even though her composure was waning. Following Edward and Charlotte to the door, she wished them a good night, and then collapsed against the door as it clicked shut, her mind racing over what had just happened.

~ O ~

Bella spent most of the night awake and in the nursery, rocking Ben and waiting for his fever to break. As the early morning light began to filter in through the nursery window, she realized that his forehead was no longer warm, his body no longer sweaty. Relieved, she was able to place him in his crib without worry. Taking the baby monitor with her, she trudged up the stairs to her room, collapsing on the bed and falling into a deep and restful sleep.

Hours later, she awoke to the sounds from the baby monitor, of Ben babbling and sucking on his hand. Picking up her cell phone from the night stand, she was shocked to see that it was after noon; he was probably hungry. She also had two missed calls and one text message, all from Edward.

_Check the mailbox._

Frowning, her brow furrowed in confusion, she made her way down the stairs. She checked on Ben momentarily before shuffling to the mailbox at the end of the driveway. Opening the door, Bella was surprised to find a large, white bag. She smiled as she peered into it; inside were sample sizes of the medicine Ben needed for his ear infection, the teething tablets Edward had mentioned to her, several teething rings, a copy of her favorite magazine and a dark chocolate candy bar; she always ate chocolate when she was stressed. There was also a note, written in Edward's sloppy scrawl, which indicated that he'd stopped by the house earlier in the morning. Unable to wake her, he'd left the medicine in the mailbox.

She tried to call Edward when she made it back inside, but was greeted by his voicemail. Bella left him a message, thanking him for the medicine and goodies. She wasn't surprised she wasn't able to reach him. The Cullens usually spent Sunday afternoons together. Her mind flashed back to Charlotte and she wondered if she had accompanied Edward to brunch. Even worse, she wondered if she'd spent the night at Edward's house.

Distressed and dejected over the idea of Edward and Charlotte _together_, Bella spent the remainder of the day in her pajamas, lounging in the living room with Ben. It was nice to spend an uninterrupted day with him, especially now that he was feeling better. He gurgled and laughed as Bella tickled his sides and blew raspberries on his belly. They curled together on the couch and watched a Baby Einstein dvd, which was really just an excuse for a midday nap.

Charlie and Sue returned late in the evening, tired from their weekend trip. Sue was laden down with bags, having decided to get an early start on Christmas shopping while she was in Seattle. Bella laughed as her father pulled out the baby-sized Mariners jersey and hat he'd purchased for Ben, the excitement evident on his face.

After Ben had been put to bed and Charlie had also turned in for the night, Bella joined Sue in the kitchen for a late night cup of cocoa.

"Ben seems to be feeling much better than when we talked yesterday. I'm glad Edward was able to drop by so late and check on him."

"He dropped some medicine by this morning, too."

"That was very kind of him."

Bella nodded her head in agreement as she watched the mini marshmallows dissolve into her hot chocolate. She'd spent most of the past day thinking about her situation with Edward, questioning her earlier decision, and wondering if maybe she could make a relationship with him work and still be there for Ben.

"He was on a date," Bella said, still staring into her steaming mug.

The chair made a loud screech and it slid across the worn tile floor. Sue sat down and gently placed her hand on Bella's forearm. "Did that upset you?"

Bella squeezed her eyes together tightly as the tears began to leak down her cheeks. Though she'd tried to push them away, thoughts of Edward and Charlotte together had consumed her. She imagined the pair together on a romantic date; perhaps Edward even made dinner for her, though he was a terrible cook. They would laugh over the burned meal, ordering a pizza because that was the only thing that delivered in Forks.

After dinner, the pair would curl up on the couch and watch a movie together, perhaps a romantic black-and-white film. They would laugh and kiss, not paying attention to the movie, and then, before the credits even rolled, they would move to Edward's room. Bella imagined that Edward would be a kind and patient lover, whispering sweet words in her ears as he made love to her until the sun came up. Those thoughts made her nauseous.

"What happened? The two of you seem so close. I thought there was something there."

"There is…was. I screwed everything up. I told him I couldn't be with him like that."

"I don't understand. I thought you had fun with Edward, that you liked him?"

"I do. I just—I didn't want to be like Renee…."

"You're nothing like your mother. Why would you even think that?"

Tears continued to pour down Bella's cheeked as she explained to Sue exactly how much she was like Renee—all the ways she had compromised herself in order to please James, a boy she didn't even love, how she'd been so dependent and desperate; the incident with Ben had been the catalyst for her decision to suppress her growing feelings for Edward.

"Oh, sweetie, I wish you would have come to me sooner. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you don't get to have a life too. You just have to find a way to balance it all out."

Sue continued to speak, assuring Bella that she was nothing like her mother. Renee was a flighty and despicable woman, a woman that sent a scared, lonely, teenage girl away during a crisis without a second thought. She'd probably even taken money to make sure her pregnant daughter disappeared. It was easy to see that Bella couldn't be less like her if she tried.

Bella was a patient and loving, spending every free moment she had taking care of her baby. She would spend hours in the nursery with him, rocking him to sleep or playing on the floor with his assortment of brightly-colored toys. Sue remembered the first time Ben had rolled over. Bella came running out the nursery, a bright smile on her face, excited to share the small milestone. She'd spent most of that day on the floor with Ben, gently coaxing him to repeat the action, and laughing each time he did.

She was a selfless and kind young woman, her beauty radiating from the inside out. Sue hated to see her so upset, especially when she'd been so certain that there was something special between her and Edward. Though they didn't spend much time together in Sue's presence, she'd watched them enough to know that Edward cared about Bella. It was evident in his actions, but especially in the way that he looked at her, as if the sun rose and set in her eyes.

"I don't think I'm the person you should be having this conversation with."

"You think I should tell Edward?" Bella knew Sue was right, that she should have explained her fears to Edward in the beginning instead of making such a rash and abrupt decision. She'd allowed guilt to cloud her vision, not taking the time to think things through. Edward had been so kind when she'd told him about Ben; surely he would have been able to understand her reservations.

"I know it's hard for you to let people in sometimes, but Edward cares about you. If he didn't, he wouldn't have interrupted his date to rush over here. He adores Ben and I'm sure he realizes that your son is your life, that he would need to make accommodations to include Ben if you were in a relationship. He already does it now."

"But what about the woman he was on a date with? Charlotte?"

"I think you need to be honest with Edward, whether she's in the picture or not. This might not turn out how you want it to, but at least Edward will know that the option is there."

Bella felt anxious just thinking about talking to Edward. She wasn't sure if she could handle the disappointment if he told her that he was no longer interested, that Charlotte was the woman he wanted in his life. But she'd never know unless she tried.

When Bella finally turned in for the night, her dreams were filled with Edward, only this time, he wasn't with Charlotte; he was with her.

~ O ~

On Monday, Bella spent the morning nervously fluttering about the house, cleaning things that weren't dirty and rearranging things that were already perfectly in place. She almost wished she had a shift at the diner to keep her busy, but realized that she would be a terrible waitress with her mind already occupied with thoughts of Edward. Other patrons probably wouldn't be as understanding as Edward had been when she dumped water all over him.

By the afternoon, she was a wreck, anxious and scared of what she was about to do. It was almost as if Ben sensed her unease, whining and fussing, refusing to nap or even eat his lunch.

When the sun began to sink low in the sky, Sue wished her good luck and practically shoved her out the door.

~ O ~

Edward heaved a sigh of relief as he settled into his desk chair, his last patient of the day taken care of. His weekend had been a series of bad decisions, leaving him unable to sleep as he'd second-guessed most of the decisions he'd made. He'd woken for work with a terrible headache, his mood growing sourer as the day wore on. He still had tons of paperwork he needed to do and charts to fill out, but all he really wanted was just to go home and pretend the last three days didn't happen.

He should have known better than to allow Jasper to talk him into going on a date, especially a blind date with a woman he knew nothing about. He questioned his brother's logic, still wondering why Jasper had set him up with a woman that was not only boring and uninteresting, but also hated children.

When they had left Bella's house on Saturday night, Charlotte had been seething; Edward could practically see the smoke coming from her flared nostrils. She'd relentlessly questioned his relationship with Bella, wondering why a patient's mother would greet him so enthusiastically. Edward had tried to rationalize his friendship with Bella, but Charlotte had coldly dismissed his explanation. She just didn't believe that he was merely friends with the diminutive brunette, even going so far as to question Ben's paternity, commenting that Jasper hadn't mentioned he had a child.

Edward had dropped her off at her doorstep with little fanfare, annoyed that he'd spent his evening with such a rude and vapid woman. He was sure part of her ire spanned from his almost-kiss with Bella in the nursery, but she never came out and said as much. Her perch on the couch had surely given her an unobstructed view into Ben's tiny room. Though his behavior was unacceptable, Edward found that he couldn't regret his actions.

On Sunday, he'd woken up early and headed into the clinic. The small pharmacy in Forks was closed, but Ben was sick and in need of antibiotics. He searched through the closet in the back until he found what he was looking for: medication samples that would work until Bella could get Ben's prescription filled. Finishing up there, he drove to the grocery store in search of teething tablets. He was able to find them, as well as a couple of teething rings that he thought Ben would like. At the register, he'd hastily grabbed one of Bella's favorite magazines and a chocolate bar, knowing that she was stressed out over her baby being sick.

He'd arrived at the Swan house to find absolute quiet. After knocking on the door, Edward had peeped in through the kitchen window, noticing no movement inside. He called Bella's cell a couple of times, but got no response. She was probably still sleeping, exhausted from the events of the previous day. He really wanted to see her, to explain about Charlotte, but it was getting late and he needed to be at his parent's house. Dejected, he'd sent her a quick text and shoved the bag of items in her mailbox.

Arriving for family brunch, Edward was met with a scowling Jasper. Though he felt Jasper was at least partially to blame—for sending him out with such a wretched woman—he apologized anyway, hoping to assuage his brother's wrath. Jasper had already spoken to Charlotte and was not buying Edward's excuses, berating him for "fucking up a perfect date with an amazing woman."

Alice had pulled Edward aside before the meal had started, apologizing for her husband's behavior. Though she smiled and said all the right things, Edward could see the tension and unease in her eyes. He hugged her and thanked her for her apology, noticing the unshed tears in her eyes. It was obvious that there was some sort of problem in her marriage, but Edward didn't want to pry.

The actual meal had been tense and uncomfortable. Carlisle seemed fairly oblivious, but Esme kept furrowing her brow and shooting worried looks in the direction of both Edward and Jasper. Edward usually spent much of the day at his parent's house, but knowing that his mother was likely to question him, he excused himself right after the meal, heading home to enjoy a few beers and a football game on tv before going to bed early.

With his headache, work had been a struggle, especially as he dealt with sick and moody children. He'd grown even more annoyed during lunch when he realized that he'd turned his phone off at brunch the day before and forgotten to turn it back on. As he listened to Bella's message, he realized that he'd missed her.

He thought that maybe he'd stop by on his way home from work, using the excuse that he wanted to check on Ben for showing up unannounced and uninvited. Surely Bella had to be wondering what was going through his head, especially after he'd almost kissed her while on a date with another woman. She didn't seem upset or angry in her message; he hoped that was still true.

Deciding that his paperwork could wait another day, Edward gathered up his things and headed out the back door of the clinic. He dug through his pockets to find his keys, not really paying attention to where he was going. As he neared his truck, he looked up and was met by a pair of dark brown eyes.

Bella had lowered his tailgate and was sitting in the bed of his truck, her legs drawn up to her chest, head resting on her knees. She smiled timidly as Edward approached, hoping he was happy that she was there.

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**A/N:** On Friday, this story was featured on the FanFiction Rebels blog. The piece includes a summary as well as an interview with me and some questions for Bella. It can be viewed here: http:/fanfictionrebels(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2010/05/friday-author-interview-blossom-by-ms(dot)html

Shoefreak37 was also kind enough to make a thread for this story on Twilighted, which can be viewed here: http:/twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9975 Pop in a say hello, to talk about the story or reminisce about when Joey Lawrence was hot.

Thanks for all the kind and encouraging reviews. As always, reviewers get a teaser. How do you think the talk with Edward is going to go? See you next week!


	20. Surrender

I am such a slacker and didn't finish this chapter until a few hours ago, so my beta, lislar, didn't get a chance to look over it. I wanted to stick with my schedule. Thanks to shoefreak37 for pre-reading.

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**Chapter 20: Surrender**

Bella gripped the steering wheel tightly, sitting forward in her seat as she navigated the narrow streets that were covered in a slushy, wet mix. The temperature had dropped throughout the day as a mixture of rain and snow fell, making the roads icy and slick, much more hazardous than she'd realized. Bella probably should have stayed at home, tucked safe inside with Ben, but this was important. _Edward was important._

Finally arriving at the clinic, she pulled into a parking space just a few slots down from Edward's truck. She turned off the engine and donned her mittens, keeping a close eye on the clinic's back exit. As she watched the door swing open, Bella felt her heart begin to beat wildly in her chest, the anticipation causing her to hold her breath.

Her shoulders deflated as she watched two nurses shuffle out, talking and laughing as they made their way to their cars. Appointment times had ended almost an hour ago, making Bella question her choice. She hoped Edward wasn't working late, wondering if she should have just called him or dropped by his house later in the evening.

The idea of showing up at Edward's house unannounced, however, made her apprehensive. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have thought twice about it. She often dropped by after her shift at the diner, or in the evenings with Ben; Edward was almost always home after clinic hours were over. Having seen and met Charlotte, however, Bella worried about running into her there. The idea of another woman in Edward's house—watching tv on his couch, cooking in his kitchen, lounging on his deck—made her balk. She wanted to be the only woman in his life.

Feeling too nervous to stay cooped up inside the warm space of her car, Bella zipped her coat up tightly, pulled her hat down over her ears, and stepped out into the biting wind. The drastic change caused her to shiver involuntarily, her cheeks and nose feeling the cold sting of the icy breeze. She wasn't exactly sure what she was doing, but she wanted Edward to see her immediately, to know that she was there, waiting for him.

Walking towards the back of Edward's truck, Bella lowered the newly painted tailgate, its moans and groans filling the air. After checking to make sure the surface wasn't too damp, she climbed up, pulling her legs close to her body. Bella rested her chin on her knees, her eyes zeroed in on the door Edward would exit.

As the minutes slowly crept by, fear began to assault her, making her wonder if she was really making the right decision. Maybe she didn't need to just come right out and declare her feelings at all. Perhaps subtle hints would work just as well; Edward was usually pretty receptive to her moods. Surely he would be able to figure it out.

Images of Charlotte and Edward flickered through her mind like an old horror movie. She'd been subtle for weeks and nothing had changed. Edward had believed the lie—that she wanted nothing more from him than friendship. Even though she'd defined the parameters of their relationship, she had wanted him to push, to make her change her mind. But he hadn't done so and she knew that if she didn't give him the green light, things would always remain as they were: stuck in limbo.

Bella realized her time to think was over when she heard the sound of a door closing, of feet moving across the slush-covered pavement. She looked up to see Edward making his way towards his truck—towards_ her_. His head was down, a slight scowl marring his face as he patted his pockets, obviously searching for his keys.

When he victoriously pulled them out of his jacket, he looked up to see Bella watching him with obvious amusement, a nervous smile on her face. Edward couldn't stop the wide smile that stretched across his own face as her took in her pink nose and wind-burned cheeks, the bits of snow trapped in the locks of her long brown hair. Edward thought she looked beautiful.

"Hi," she whispered shyly as he approached.

"Hi. What are you doing here? Is Ben okay?"

"He's fine; better than fine, actually. Thanks again for everything you did over the weekend: checking on him and dropping that medicine by the house. I don't know what I would have done without you."

They stood there for a moment, just watching one another, neither sure as to how to proceed. Bella uncurled her legs, letting them dangle off the back of the truck.

"There was something else. I-I needed to talk to you," she stumbled.

"Come on," Edward replied, reaching out to take her hand. "It's too cold to be sitting outside like this."

She was comforted by the small gesture, his large hand enveloping hers in warmth and security. After helping her down, Edward led her to the passenger's side, unlocking the door and giving her a boost as she climbed inside. The feel of his hands on her waist caused a blush to rise to her cheeks as she wished that he would wrap his arms around her and hold her close.

Edward moved to the driver's side and hopped in, throwing his bag onto the floor before starting the loud, roaring engine. He cranked the heater up to high, apologizing for the lengthy wait for warm air to start filling the small space.

"Was there somewhere you wanted to go?" he asked. "Or is here okay?"

"Here's good."

When the temperature inside the cab began to rise, Bella removed her hat and gloves, then unzipped her coat. Her hands were shaking as she moved the zipper down, scared of the conversation that was about to take place. She knew she needed to tell Edward the truth, but the fear of rejection nagged at her, causing a lump to form in her throat. Her mouth felt dry and her stomach felt queasy. She looked over to see Edward watching her closely, patiently waiting for her to voice whatever was on her mind.

Bella felt the tears pricking her eyes, waiting to spill down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check, her reactions under control. This was not how she wanted to start this conversation.

"Bella, what's wrong?" She held her hand up to indicate that she needed a moment to arrange the words in her head, to find the courage. She wanted to be brave and strong, so unlike the shy and timid girl that she really was.

She felt the bench seat shift just before a cold hand reached out to take one of hers. Deciding that it was now or never—her one opportunity to take a chance—she twined her fingers with Edward's and hoped he wouldn't pull away. When he squeezed her hand just a little tighter, she felt calmer, gathering the strength she needed to proceed.

"Did you know I got accepted to Dartmouth?" she started, continuing before he had a chance to answer. "I'd wanted to go there since I was a little girl. I don't know why really. There was just something about it that seemed perfect to me. But I had to give that up.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was sure I'd have to give up a lot of things: college, a career…relationships. Growing up, my mom wasn't around much. Charlie only saw me a couple weeks per year so he had no idea and I never told him. Because of that, I promised Ben that I would sacrifice, that I'd always put him first. No matter what."

Bella bit her lip as she looked over at Edward, expecting to see pity in his eyes. She expected him to look at her like everyone else in that tiny town did: like they felt sorry for her. She was that poor naïve girl, the one that had to give up her dreams because she got knocked up. But Edward wasn't looking at her like that at all. He was looking at her like he always did, with reverence and adoration.

"That day we went out for coffee was one of the best days I'd had in a long time. Until I got home and Ben was crying, sick. I felt so guilty, like I should have been there, not out having fun with you. So when you called, I lied."

She stared at their intertwined fingers, waiting for Edward to say something. She needed to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling. Bella felt Edward's hand pull away from hers and she was sure that she was being rejected, that she was too late. Before she could turn her head away, embarrassed, she felt both his hands reach out to cup her cheeks, forcing her to look at him.

"You don't want to be friends?"

"No, I…no."

The same tension that had sparked between them that night in the nursery returned, making Bella's chest feel heavy and tight. As she looked into Edward's green eyes, she felt her heart pounding in her chest, thundering so loudly that she thought Edward could probably hear it too. Ever so slowly, he moved closer to her, his head tilted and his lips slightly parted. Bella closed her eyes and hoped that this time she wouldn't be disappointed by another kiss on the cheek.

Softly, she felt his lips press against hers. The first kiss was soft and sweet, so different than anything she'd ever felt before. Her lips tingled, the heat from his touch moving from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. James was the only other man she'd ever kissed and it had felt nothing like this.

As Edward's lips moved against hers, gently drawing her bottom lip between his, she pushed herself closer to him, fisting his shirt in her hands, fighting against the urges that suddenly assaulted her. She wanted to put her fingers in his hair, trace the contour of his jaw, and feel his body pressed against her. Too soon, Edward pulled away, giving her two more quick pecks. Both of them were panting, their ragged breathing the only sound to be heard.

"What about Charlotte?" Bella blurted, her voice rough and shaky. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them, knowing her timing couldn't have been worse. Bella knew she should have asked him before she let him kiss her, but she doubted he'd be kissing her if he was seeing Charlotte. Still, she wanted to know for sure.

"Charlotte was…a terrible idea. That night was our first and only date. I thought you weren't interested and Jasper convinced me I should try dating other people."

Bella scrunched her face up and frowned, not sure how to respond to his confession. While she was glad that there was only one date with Charlotte, she was hurt and annoyed that Jasper had talked Edward into going out with someone else, most likely several someone else's if she hadn't decided to tell Edward how she felt.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, confusion marring his features.

"Jasper. I don't think he likes me. Whenever I'm around, he's always giving me dirty looks and he barely speaks to me. It's almost like it causes him pain to be around me."

"I'll talk to him, I promise, but let's not worry about him right now."

Edward put her hands in his, rubbing the tops with his thumbs across them, the gentle action soothing, forcing her to push her apprehension about Jasper from her mind. When Bella finally looked up into Edward's eyes, they both smiled, the feelings of uncertainty no longer lingering between them.

"What are you doing on Friday night?" Edward asked, hoping that Bella wasn't working at the diner that evening.

She shrugged her shoulders at him, indicating that she had no plans. Alice had been bugging her to come over for dinner again, but Bella had made excuses, not wanting to spend any more time with Jasper than absolutely necessary. She wasn't sure what his problem was, but it the best tactic at this point was avoidance. Bella hoped that Edward would talk to him and clear up whatever was going on.

"Would you like to go out to dinner? There's a new restaurant that opened in Port Angeles. It's supposed to be family friendly, so Ben could come along."

"I think," she started, biting her lip. "I think that it would be okay to leave Ben with Sue for a few hours."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely," she answered, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. Leaving her son at home for one evening while she spent some time with Edward didn't make her a bad mother. The pieces of her life were falling into place; she just needed to be sure that she arranged them correctly.

~ O ~

The week flew by in a flurry of activity for Bella. She finished up her application for Peninsula College and dropped it in the mail, looking forward to enrollment in the spring. The application had been sitting on her desk for weeks, but she'd hesitated to fill it out and send it in, still not quite sure about managing all of her responsibilities. After her talk with Sue and the subsequent conversation with Edward, she decided to take control of her situation. Though the added time away from Ben would be hard, she knew it would be better for them both in the long run; she didn't want to work at the diner forever.

She worked three shifts at the diner, and Edward dropped by twice for lunch. Bella also made time to drop by the clinic with Ben so that Edward could check his ear infection, which was clearing up nicely. She was happy to spend the extra time with Edward, even though he maintained a somewhat professional distance because he was at work. He still managed to steal a few quick kisses before she'd left.

During the evenings, after Ben had gone to bed, they would chat on the phone, talking about everything and nothing. Bella learned more about his time in Chicago, about college and medical school, and about his time growing up in Forks. She shared more stories about her mother: the men, the constant moving, and how uncomfortable she had felt. Bella told him about how lonely she had been, how hard it was for her to make and maintain friendships, and her fears about being a single, teen mother. Bella talked a little about her relationship with James, but she felt those revelations were better suited to a face-to-face conversation.

On Friday night, Bella stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom, appraising her appearance. She was a very no-nonsense type of girl when it came to clothes, hair, and make-up, but she'd taken extra time and put forth just a little more effort for her date with Edward.

_A date. With Edward._

The sweater dress and tights she wore were one of the nicer outfits she owned, preferring the comfort of jeans and t-shirts. Flannel also seemed to be a must in the dreary weather of Forks. Her hair was hanging down in loose curls and she wondered if maybe it would look better pulled away from her face. Looking at the clock beside her bed, however, she realized that it was time for Edward to pick her up. Her hair would just have to do.

Making her way downstairs, she found Sue in the living room watching an evening game show. Charlie was in the floor with Ben, rolling around as they played with one of Ben's toys. As she hit the bottom step, her shoes clacking on the wooden floor, all eyes turned towards her.

"Bella, you look beautiful," Sue commented.

Charlie rose from the floor with a scowl on his face, at least until Sue gave him _the look_. He rolled his eyes at her in return, but his face softened as he walked over to his daughter.

"You look real pretty, Bella."

"Thanks, Dad."

Charlie rubbed the back of his neck with his palm, trying to decide what to say. "Look, I know the Cullens are good people and I'm sure Edward has grown up to be a nice young man, but if he does anything that makes you uncomfortable, you call me and I'll come get you."

Bella didn't say anything in return; she just reached out and hugged her father tightly. Though his concern was unwarranted, she knew it came from the right place. She'd been hurt so much in the past and he just wanted to make sure that didn't happen again.

"I love you, Bella. No matter what, you'll always be my little girl." Bella squeezed him a little tighter before letting go.

"Charlie, stop! You're going to make her cry," Sue said just as there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Charlie said, heading in the direction of the front door in full protective father mood. Bella was surprised his shotgun wasn't on display. Both women rolled their eyes at his retreating form, knowing there was no need for the show he was making. Though Sue hadn't officially met Edward, she had grown to be close friends with Esme and knew that he was a good man.

Sue picked up Ben and brought him over to Bella just as Edward and Charlie entered the living room. Bella was embarrassed, hoping all this attention wasn't making Edward uncomfortable. She doubted he'd been on a date where he had to meet the parents first since he was in high school.

When the two men came back into the living room, there seemed to be no tension between them, but Bella could see the hesitance in Edward's eyes. She hoped Charlie didn't say anything to him that would embarrass her later. As soon as Ben saw Edward, he started gurgling and reaching out for him. Bella handed him over without hesitation, not noticing the knowing looks that passed between Charlie and Sue.

"Edward, you know Charlie, and this is Sue," Bella said, gesturing towards the woman she'd come to think of as her mother.

"It's so nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Sue. My mother speaks very highly of you."

Edward tickled Ben's stomach and laughed as he squirmed and giggled. After pinching his chubby cheeks, Edward handed him back to Bella to say her own goodbyes. Bella squeezed him tightly to her chest and told him goodnight, kissing his cheeks and forehead before handing him back over to Sue.

"Ready?" Edward asked, leading Bella towards the front door after she responded with a nod.

"You kids be careful," Charlie said as he watched them leave, Edward's hand on the small of Bella's back. Though he had some reservations about their relationship, he couldn't deny the way they looked at one another, the easy manner Edward had with Ben, or the obvious attachment Ben had to Edward. Charlie shook his head and put his arm around Sue. He wasn't ready to let his little girl go, not when he'd just gotten her back.

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**A/N:** I am donating a side-shot from this story from Charlie's perspective for Fics for Nashville. A teaser can be found here: http:/www(dot)fictionators(dot)com/teaser/teaser-tuesdayf4n/#bloom There's still time to donate! http:/community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/ficsfornash/

As always, reviewers get a teaser. Thanks so much for all the reviews. I try to respond to each one, even if it's just to say thanks. I really appreciate all the love.

Also, don't forget to stop by the Twilighted thread! http:/twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=9975


	21. I'm Ready to Learn

Thanks to my beta lislar for being a star and getting this back to me super fast. And to shoefreak37 for pre-reading and pointed out my ridiculous typos and making me laugh.

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**Chapter 21: I'm Ready to Learn**

Bella's hand tingled as Edward held it securely on top of the table, seemingly paying no mind to the other diners seated nearby. He had chosen a romantic French restaurant for their evening, deciding that the more family friendly restaurant he'd mentioned prior could be saved for another time, when Ben would be with them. Bella felt extremely lucky that he not only accepted her son, but also intended to include him in their outings as their relationship changed and grew.

They were seated in the solarium, affording them a breathtaking view of the city around them and the twinkling stars above. Bella smiled politely at the waiter as she placed her order, excited to try something new. She had a hard time deciding on what to order, her eyes widening as she saw the prices on the menu, remembering the last time she'd been in a restaurant like this. _Her 18__th__ birthday._ Bella was saddened by the memory.

At that time, she had been convinced that she could love James if she threw herself into the relationship and suffered through situations that made her uncomfortable. Now, Bella realized how childish and naïve those thoughts had been. Though she had cared about James in a certain way, her feelings for him were mostly born of loneliness and desperation, not actual attraction or love.

"Hey," Edward said, pulling her from her thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry."

"If you're worried about Ben, you can call and check on him, or we can go back?"

"No, it's not that at all. I was just thinking."

Edward squeezed her hand and tried to distract her from the gloomy thoughts that swirled in her head. He spoke about work at the clinic, how much he enjoyed having a set schedule and no on-call hours. He also didn't miss working in a hospital ER. Most of all, he was very happy to be back in Forks. Though he'd lived in the city for many years, it had never really been the place for him. Finally, he felt like he was back in the place where he could blend in seamlessly and enjoy his life.

Bella smiled and nodded, replying where appropriate, but her thoughts kept returning to James. As much as she didn't want to talk about him, she realized that her relationship with him had dramatically changed her. Though she doubted that Edward really wanted to hear about her ex-boyfriend, she knew there were some things he needed to know if their relationship was going to go anywhere.

The warmth from Edward's hand caused butterflies to flutter in Bella's stomach, thoughts that made her blush rushing to the forefront of her mind. The only other time she'd ever been to a fancy restaurant like this had been with James and he had very definitive plans for how the evening would progress—and end. Though Edward was too much of a gentleman to ever do something so sleazy, Bella thought about what it would be like to spend the night with Edward.

She'd only had sex with James a handful of times and she really couldn't recall anything she had enjoyed about it. Even fooling around with him had been unfulfilling, awkward moments filled with groping and fumbling. James had been much more experienced than she was and she always felt like he expected too much from her. Bella had always been tentative and unsure when they were together, self-conscious about doing the wrong thing.

He'd never done anything to assuage those doubts, often huffing and pouting when she would pull away. James had been gentle with her that first time, on her birthday. She had anticipated that it would be painful, so she wasn't surprised that she didn't enjoy the act. After that, however, she thought things should get better; the pain was no longer there, but she never grew to want or desire James physically. Bella didn't think James ever realized that she wasn't as into their relationship as he was; if he did, he never made those thoughts known. Maybe he was just too self-centered to even care.

Though their relationship was new, Bella had thought many times about what it would be like to be with Edward in that way. The feelings she had for him were so much stronger than anything she'd ever felt for James. Edward was so kind and caring, making her believe intimate moments with him would be a completely different experience. She wasn't ready for their relationship to proceed to that level just yet, but as the thoughts continued to flicker in and out of her mind, she knew that she eventually would be.

Their first kiss had been soft and sweet, but Bella found herself craving more. Her dreams were filled with him, kissing her and holding her close, his hands moving over her heated skin. These new feelings and sensations were exhilarating and frustrating. More than once, she'd woken up in a cold sweat, almost expecting him to be lying in the bed beside her.

As the waiter arrived with their entrees, she turned her attention back to her date, wondering what other plans he had in store for the evening. A walk by the waterfront would be a romantic way to end their evening, but with the blustery wind and falling show outside, she doubted that would be possible.

Feeling overstuffed, both Edward and Bella declined dessert. Once the bill had been settled, he held her hand and led her to his truck.

"I didn't really plan anything beyond dinner. I thought that with the weather, we should probably head back home before it gets too late, and I'm sure you're anxious to see Ben. You seemed distracted during dinner."

"Is there somewhere we can go to talk?"

"I'm sure there's a coffee shop around here somewhere. Or we could wait until we get back to Forks and go to my house for a little while?"

"Your house would probably be better."

~ O ~

Bella was surprised when they got into the truck and Edward tugged on her hand, pulling her towards the center of the bench seat. He started the truck and turned on the heater, but made no move to begin the drive back. Instead, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his side, kissing her temple. The gesture was reassuring, almost as if he knew that she was feeling uneasy about their impending conversation.

She looked up as he smiled down at her, the lights around the parking lot slightly illuminating the cabin of the truck. With tentative fingers, Bella reached out and placed her hand upon his cheek, gently rubbing her palm against the scruff there. When Edward's mouth descended upon hers, she slid her hand around his head, curling her fingers in the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

Edward slid his arm around her waist, their kiss turning from slow and sweet to heated and urgent, a mingling of lips and teeth and tongues. Bella scooted closer to Edward, pulling herself as close as she could get in the small confines of the truck. Her heart was hammering in her chest, the sensations overwhelming. Her lips were tingling, her stomach fluttering. She wished she wasn't wearing a dress, wanting to feel Edward's hands against the skin on the small of her back.

They eventually pulled away, both gasping and panting for air. Bella's face was flushed, her lips swollen, and she knew she'd never been kissed like that before. She tucked her head into the crook of Edward's neck, wrapping her arms around his waist.

The pair remained like that for an indeterminate amount of time, just sitting and watching the snow fall around them, the loud thrum of the truck's engine the only sound being made. Eventually, Edward pulled away, taking her hand and resting it on his leg, beginning the drive back to Forks.

The ride was mostly quiet, the old radio unable to pick up any local stations because of the bad weather. Edward made a mental note to have it replaced. When he didn't have to reach down to shift gears, he placed his right hand on top of Bella's, still resting casually on his thigh.

Once they arrived back at Edward's house, Bella felt the nerves that had calmed during the drive once again make a commotion in her stomach. Her legs felt shaky and weak as she navigated the slick spots on Edward's sidewalk. He walked behind her, his hand firmly against her back, ready to catch her if she made a misstep.

Entering the living room, Edward moved to get a fire going, the temperature outside quickly dropping. He asked Bella if she would like some coffee or tea, but she declined, knowing that the caffeine would only make her more uneasy. When Edward finally joined her on the sofa, her palms were sweaty and clammy despite the chill in the air. Edward noticed her distress just as soon as he reached to take her hand.

He wasn't sure why she was so nervous or what she wanted to talk about, but he wanted to make sure she was comfortable. He pulled the throw from the back of the couch—a gift from his mother—and draped it over Bella's legs, rubbing her back in an effort to comfort her. She looked up and gave him a small smile, so he leaned forward and kissed her, hoping to reassure her.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Bella said as soon as he pulled away, her hands knotted in her lap. "It wasn't like this before, with James, and I just…don't know."

"Ben's father?"

"Yes. Our relationship never felt balanced, but this is even worse. You're older and I'm sure you've… I know I have a baby, but I'm not _experienced_."

"Bella, are you talking about sex?" Edward cringed as the words left his mouth, not wanting to think about Bella with another man. Though Ben was the proof that she had been with someone else, there was still such an innocent quality about her, making Edward wonder why she'd chosen to have this conversation now. "Did you think—I didn't bring you here, to my house, for _that_."

"I know. I was just afraid that soon—later—you would expect things I have no clue about."

"Bella, I don't expect anything. Ben's father, he didn't force you, did he?"

"No, it wasn't like that. I had never been with anybody like that, but he wanted to. I wasn't really ready, but I thought that would make him happy, so I did it anyway."

Edward wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, tucking her head underneath his chin, unable to continue watching her fidget and struggle to find the right words as she sat on his couch, trying to explain her lack of sexual knowledge and experience.

"I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. I'll wait as long as you need me to. And if anything between us ever makes you uncomfortable or you want to stop, you just have to tell me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Where is Ben's father now? Do you keep in contact with him?"

"Florida, I guess. I haven't seen or talked to him since the night he found out I was pregnant."

"He's never seen Ben?"

"No. I guess legally he isn't even Ben's father."

"What do you mean?"

"After I gave birth, his family sent a lawyer up here with some papers. James signed his rights away."

She was quiet for a few moments, the memories playing back in her head like a movie. Bella hadn't thought about those events in a long time. The memories had always been too painful; though there was still sadness there, she didn't feel that painful stab in her heart like she used to.

"Even then, part of me didn't want to sign them; I thought he might still change his mind. But it was for the best. His family is wealthy and they threatened to take the baby when they found out I was pregnant, if I didn't leave. I don't have to worry about that now, but it's been hard. I have to rely on Charlie and Sue for almost everything. The job at the diner helps, but not nearly enough."

Looking at the clock, Edward realized it was nearly midnight.

"We should get you home before the weather gets worse, or Charlie shows up on my doorstep with his gun."

Bella giggled, but made no effort to move, instead placing her hand on Edward's chest, drawing patterns with her finger. "Thank you," she whispered, placing a kiss on the column of Edward's throat.

~ O ~

On Sunday morning, Bella attempted to sleep in, but found herself tossing and turning as soon as the sun peeked up over the horizon. Edward had dropped by the night before, asking her to attend Sunday brunch with the Cullens, an invitation which both frightened and excited her. Though she'd spent time with each member of the family on occasion, she hadn't been around Carlisle and Esme much and she wanted them to like her, to accept her relationship with Edward.

Edward had insisted that brunch was casual and that she had nothing to worry about, but Bella still felt nervous. She changed clothes four times, finally deciding upon a simple sweater and jeans. She dressed Ben in a little bodysuit with puppies on the front, bundling him up in the hat and gloves Sue had recently purchased for him. When Edward knocked on the door, they were ready to go.

They had to take Bella's car because it wasn't safe for Ben to ride in the bench seat of Edward's old truck, but Bella insisted that Edward drive. The roads were snowy and wet, and since she already felt on edge, she decided that putting herself behind the wheel wasn't the best option.

"I should get one of these," Edward remarked on the short drive to his parent's house.

"A Volvo?"

"Sure. They're safe cars, right? And besides, I can't always borrow yours. What if Ben and I want to have guy's day out?"

Bella smiled at the thought, not only because she couldn't imagine what a nearly six-month-old baby would do on such a day, but because Edward genuinely wanted to spend time with her son.

~ O ~

Walking along the cobblestone sidewalk in front of the Cullen's sprawling home, Bella felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Her stomach rolled, making her feel queasy, her nerves getting the better of her. Of course, she'd met all of the Cullens before, but under much different circumstances. This would be the first time she would be meeting them as Edward's…girlfriend? The word lingered on the edge of her thoughts, bright like a neon sign. Was this how their relationship was now defined? They'd only been on one date—well, maybe two—but they'd spent so much time together in the past couple of months and now he was taking her to brunch with his family. What did all this mean?

Edward didn't knock when they arrived at the door, just opened it up and ushered Bella inside. She could hear voices carrying from somewhere to her left, likely from the kitchen. They stepped into a small room off of the foyer, shucking off their coats and wet shoes. Ben fussed for a moment as Bella removed him from his carrier, unhappy that his car ride induced nap had been cut short.

In the kitchen, Esme and Carlisle were preparing the food. Esme was chopping something on the island while Carlisle fiddled with the oven. Jasper and Alice were seated on stools at the breakfast bar, steaming cups of coffee in front of them. Alice smiled when she saw Bella, but there was no mistaking the grimace on Jasper's face.

"I thought I heard someone come in," Esme said as she moved around the bar and engulfed Bella in a hug. "We're so happy you're here." Her smile was genuine and warm, putting Bella at ease as she tried to avoid the daggers Jasper was shooting at her with his eyes.

"And look at little Ben! He's gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw him. May I?" Esme asked, reaching out to take him. Bella allowed Esme to take her son, though she was confused by her actions. It must have shown on her face as Esme continued to speak. "Sue and I have lunch together fairly often and sometimes she brings him with her."

By that time, Carlisle had made his way over, shaking Bella's hand and giving her a kiss on the cheek. With introductions out of the way and the food nearly ready to eat, all attention seemed to turn to Ben. Esme and Carlisle both took a turn holding him, laughing and talking as he babbled happily.

"I've always loved children," Esme said, "especially cute little babies. Carlisle and I can't wait to have grandbabies to spoil."

As soon as the words left her mouth, the sound of a chair scraping across the wooden floor echoed throughout the kitchen. Without a word, Jasper stomped out of the room. Esme looked to Alice, confusion written all over her face.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not you," Alice said, trying to reassure everyone in the room. "He's just been having a rough time. I'll go check on him."

Alice and Jasper didn't return until the food was on the table. Bella sat next to Edward, trying to settle Ben into her lap, but he kept squirming, making it impossible for her to hold him and eat. Edward took him from her without a word and she thanked him with a smile.

Conversation was stilted at first, the room eventually falling silent. Alice kept her head down, her face looking a little puffy, as if she'd been crying. Esme and Carlisle kept exchanging worried looks between them, while Jasper's scowl seemed to deepen as the time wore on.

"Bella, have you started your Christmas shopping yet?" Esme asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

"No, I haven't really gotten a chance."

"Well, I thought maybe we could all go together, just the ladies: you, me, Alice, and Sue. We could drive up to Port Angeles for the day."

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm sure Sue like would like that. She's been complaining that she didn't get much of her shopping done when she and Charlie went to Seattle a few weeks ago."

"You know, I had a great idea, too," Jasper said. "Edward, you and Bella should go out one evening with me and Alice."

"That sounds fine," Edward said. Bella had mentioned her problems with Jasper, which made him wary.

"Yeah, there's a new bar that opened in Port Angeles near the university I'd like to check out."

"Jasper, I'm not sure—"

"Oh, that's right. I forgot," Jasper mused, interrupting Edward. "Bella's still a teenager. She can't even get into bars. And there's the kid too. Don't worry. I'm sure there's a Chuck E. Cheese we can hang out at."

"Jasper." Carlisle's tone was calm and even, a distinct reprimand for his youngest son. Jasper just chuckled and shook his head, then left the table without another word.

"I'm so sorry," Alice said, swiping at the tears rolling silently down her cheeks. "We've been having some problems and he's just not himself."

Carlisle stood to go and find his son, but Edward stopped him. "No, let me go." He handed Ben back to Bella, stopping to kiss her on the temple as he exited the room. It was time to find out what the hell was Jasper's problem.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for being late this week. I had a huge deadline for work and the time just got away from me. I've already started on the next chapter, so hopefully this doesn't happen again.

Reviewers get a teaser, just like always. I love reading all your comments and theories. Don't forget to check out the thread over on Twilighted. Those of you that got the Nashville outtake (there's still time!), what did you think of Charlie?

Finally, I'm excited to be working with some of my favorite ladies on some Twilight vampfic awards. Nominations for The Vampies start later tonight, so be sure to check out the site and nominate your favorite fics. http:/twificpics[dot]com/vampawards

See ya next week!


	22. Crash

Thanks to lislar and shoefreak37 for their help with this chapter. I couldn't do it without either of you ladies!

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**Chapter 22: Crash**

Silence lingered in the dining room, awkward and uncomfortable. Esme and Carlisle seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes, knowing looks passing between them, while Alice stared down at her plate, shoving a wayward piece of cantaloupe around. Bella just felt out of place, as if she were intruding on a private matter that should be kept within their family, even if the comment that had started this downhill spiral had been directed at her. She felt uncomfortable without Edward sitting beside her.

Ben began to fuss, his whimpers and frowns the first indication that a full-fledged tantrum was on the way. Bella tried to calm and comfort him, but looking at the clock, she realized it was nearly time for him to eat again. She continued to rock him and pat his back, hoping the crying fit he was building up wouldn't erupt until Edward had returned from whichever room in the massive house he'd followed Jasper.

"If you need to feed him or change his diaper, you're more than welcome to use one of the rooms upstairs," Esme said, noticing Bella struggling to keep her son quiet.

"Thank you."

"I'll show her the way," Carlisle said, obviously wanting to give Esme a moment with Alice.

Bella retrieved Ben's diaper bag from the front room and met Carlisle by the stairs.

"I want to apologize for my son's behavior. I'm not sure what his problem is, but he was out of line."

"It's okay. He's never really hidden his dislike for me since I met him."

"Jasper's always had problems dealing with his emotions. He projects whatever he's feeling onto other people, tries to make them responsible for his actions. I'm not sure what could cause him to act so horribly to you, but Edward usually has the best luck straightening him out. Hopefully they'll be able to get to the root of the problem."

Bella nodded, unsure if any other response was really necessary. Carlisle had led her to the lone bedroom on the third floor of the house. He gave her a gentle, fatherly pat on the back and a reassuring smile before retreating back down the stairs.

Walking inside the room, Bella noticed the trophies first, stopping to take a closer look. There were a few academic awards, but most were for baseball—and they all bore the name "Edward Cullen." Bella smiled as she ran her fingers over the nameplates, wondering what Edward had been like as a teenager. Her exploration would have to wait, however; Ben was hungry and beginning to cry.

Bella moved to the couch near the window, positioning herself so that she could watch the tiny flakes of snow falling in the backyard. Most of it melted as soon as it hit the wet ground, but it was still a beautiful scene against the lush greens outside. She'd barely gotten Ben settled before there was a timid knock on the door. Bella threw a blanket over Ben and made sure she was covered before calling out for the person to enter.

The sound of metal bracelets clanging together could be heard right before Alice popped her head inside. She stared at Bella for a moment before she opened the door wider and made her way inside. It was obvious that she was upset, but Bella had no idea how to comfort her. Alice was the first person she'd ever really been friends with and she hated to feel so useless.

Tentatively, Alice made her way over to the couch to sit down. She was wringing her hands in her lap, staring at the floor as she finally spoke. "I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either after the way Jasper has treated you," she said, her voice low and meek.

"Oh, Alice, it's not your fault. I would never blame you for what Jasper says and does. I just don't understand why he hates me so much."

"He doesn't hate you, not really. His aura turns dark green when you're around. If he truly hated you, it would be black or a muddied red. He's just jealous."

"Jealous? Of me? Alice, I don't understand."

"You've got the one thing we want and can't have," she said, her eyes moving to Ben as he squirmed underneath the blanket. "A baby."

Bella sat there in stunned silence. It had never occurred to her that anything about her life would be something to be envied. She was a teen mother, a diner waitress that had barely finished high school. And her baby, though she loved him with all her heart, was going to grow up without a father. What was there to be jealous of?

"He's just angry. We've been trying to get pregnant for almost two years, and then someone like you just—"

"Someone like _me_?" Bella cut in, suddenly feeling more hurt than she'd been all day.

"Oh, Bella, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you weren't even in love with the guy and you accidentally got pregnant. Jasper and I have tried everything and we haven't been able to. It just doesn't seem fair that someone that didn't even want a baby gets one, while we struggle. We have a nice home, good jobs—"

"Alice, I think you should go," Bella cut in.

Alice gave her a pleading look, but Bella held her ground. Without another word, Alice moved out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Bella continued to sit and watch the snow fall, insulted and angry. She didn't want to hold the things Alice had said against her, knowing that she was in pain and going through a difficult time in her marriage, but the comments were still biting.

~ O ~

Edward found Jasper in the library, reclining in a chair with a glass of amber-colored liquid in his hand. He stood in the doorway for several moments just watching his brother, the tendons and muscles in Jasper's arm flexing, his knuckles white as he clutched the glass tightly. Edward wondered why it hadn't shattered in his hand.

Clearing his throat loudly to announce his presence, Edward entered the room, taking a seat next to Jasper, not looking him in the eyes. Both men sat there in silence for several minutes, just staring out the window and watching the snow fall.

"If you're here for an apology, you're wasting your time," Jasper said, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. You might want to start with Mom and Dad, your wife, Bella."

"I'll apologize to Mom and Dad for ruining brunch and to Alice for upsetting her, but if you think I'm going to apologize to that little tra—"

"Don't," Edward cut in. "Don't say something you'll regret later."

"Oh, I won't regret it. I can't believe you're defending that girl, Edward. Am I the only person that sees her clearly? Alice thinks she's her best friend. Mom and Dad were acting like royalty was stopping by. And you—you're pathetic, trailing after her like a lovesick teenager."

"What exactly is it that you see that no one else does? Please, enlighten me," Edward said, barely able to restrain the anger he felt boiling inside him. Jasper was completely out of line, but Edward wanted to give him the chance to voice his feelings, to get to the bottom of what was going on.

"Let's see…she just shows up here, pregnant with some guy's kid. No one has a clue what she was doing before she came here. Of course, I have a pretty good idea. The guy isn't around and after she pops the kid out, she immediately attaches herself to the new, wealthy doctor in town. I think her motives are pretty clear. She's using you, Edward."

"Fuck you, Jasper. You don't know anything about Bella, about what her life was like before she came back to Forks or since she's been here. I don't give a damn what you think, but I swear to God, if you ever say anything like that to her again…"

"You'll what? Hit me? Fuck _you_, Edward."

"You know what, Jasper? I don't think this has anything to do with Bella. I think you just want someone to blame for your failing marriage, for being so shitty to Alice."

"You don't know anything about my marriage, asshole," Jasper said, rising from his seat to lunge at Edward. Edward wrapped his arms around Jasper, holding his flailing limbs to his sides as he continued to struggle and mumble under his breath.

"Always so fucking perfect. Alice and I can't get pregnant and what do you do? Drag in some girl that already has a kid."

"My relationship with Bella has nothing to do with you and Alice. I had no idea what was going on with the two of you."

"Alice wants a baby so fucking bad and we've tried everything. And some random, irresponsible teenager gets one? It's not fair. And Alice keeps bugging me about going to some fertility specialist. She wants us to go and get checked together. I can't do that."

"Why? Why can't you do that, Jasper? If you want a baby, that might be the only way."

"Because I already went! Six months ago, I thought something was wrong so I went. And it was. I'm the problem. I'm the reason she can't get pregnant!"

~ O ~

Bella wasn't sure how long she sat there, just staring out the window, but she eventually heard Edward come into the room. Bella turned and smiled, but he could see that it was forced and strained.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he sat down on the couch beside her. "I'm sorry. I should have been up to check on you sooner, but I was trying to deal with Jasper and—"

"It's fine. I just needed some time to clear my head."

"Come on. Let's get out of here," he said, pulling her to her feet.

It was quiet as they made their way back downstairs. Edward buckled Ben into his carrier quickly and they headed out to Bella's car. She noticed that Alice and Jasper's car was still sitting in the driveway, making her wonder what was going on inside.

~ O ~

The drive to Edward's house was short, but gave Bella some time to think. Though she now knew what the problem was, she still hoped that Edward's talk with his brother had been productive. Alice and Jasper had both said things that were painful to hear, but she still didn't want to see them in so much pain.

Inside, Bella moved a sleeping Ben to Edward's home office and turned on the baby monitor. Edward's house was really the only place that Ben spent a lot of time away from home, so Bella had left his travel crib there permanently, finding a space big enough for it in Edward's office. Edward had gone out and bought the monitor so Bella wouldn't have to worry about checking on Ben as often, just another small gesture that showed he was serious about being a part of both her life and her son's.

When she made it back into the living room, Edward was stretched out on the couch, his head back and his bare feet propped up on the coffee table. He'd pulled off his button-down, leaving him in jeans and his white undershirt. He looked exhausted. Bella wasted no time sitting down and curling into his side. Edward wrapped his arm around her and continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Alice and Jasper are having some problems."

"She told me Jasper was jealous because I have Ben, that he was angry."

Edward shifted to look at Bella. "He's going through a lot right now—they both are—but that still doesn't give him the right to say things like that to you."

"It's okay, Edward. I understand," Bella replied, looking down at her hands.

"No, it's not okay. Bella, he was completely out of line. I don't care what he thinks about my relationship with you, but he needs to keep his damn mouth shut."

"Edward—"

"Bella, please, can we just talk about something else? I don't want to fight about Jasper," Edward cut in, exasperation evident in his tone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" she trailed off, pulling away.

"Hey, don't do that. Come here."

Edward pulled her back into his side and kissed her temple, resting his forehead against the side of her head. "I don't want to fight with you," he whispered, trailing kisses down her cheek and along her jaw until he reached her lips. She opened her mouth to him immediately, wanting to push the events of the day to the back of her mind, to concentrate only on Edward.

His hand moved to her hip, then her waist, fingers dipping beneath the hem of her sweater, searching for bare skin. Bella felt his thumb gently rubbing back and forth across her skin, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. She wanted to be closer. As if he could read her mind, Edward's arm moved down to her thigh, pulling her towards him.

Letting the feelings coursing through her guide her, Bella moved to straddle him, placing her knees on either side of his waist. She hesitated momentarily before sitting down, resting her weight on his legs. When he pulled her closer, she could feel him hard beneath her, straining against the fabric of his jeans.

Edward groaned as they continued to kiss, his hands moving underneath her sweater, lightly caressing the skin of her back. Bella moved her hands into the hair at the nape of his neck, lightly scratching her nails against his scalp. When they finally pulled apart to breathe, Edward continued to trail kisses down her throat, pulling down the neck of her sweater and diverting his path along her collar bones.

In her mind, she'd always imagined she would be nervous and awkward in moments like this with Edward. James had always made her nervous, self-conscious about her actions. She'd never felt comfortable, but part of that could have been attributed to her lack of desire for him. With Edward, everything was different. Bella was determined to do what felt natural and hope that it was right.

"Is this okay?" Edward asked, his forehead resting against her shoulder, fingers still lingering on her skin.

Not wanting to ruin the moment, Bella simply placed her hands against his cheeks, pulling his face up to look him in the eyes. Wanting to convey the emotions that she found herself unable to voice, Bella leaned forward and kissed him. Feeling emboldened by the sounds Edward was making and the way he whispered her name—full of want and need—she moved her hands down his chest, to the bottom of his shirt, fingers sliding underneath to feel the skin of his belly.

His stomach was smooth and warm, the muscles lightly defined, a trail of coarse hair leading down into his jeans. She touched him with hesitant fingers, letting his moans and groans guide her. When she felt him tugging lightly on her sweater, she raised her arms slowly, allowing him to remove it.

Bella shivered as the cool air hit her bare skin; the small tank she wore underneath was tiny and thin, the hem not quite reaching the waistband of her jeans. She had the urge to cross her arms in front of her, to cover the bare skin of her stomach that was exposed. Though her body had bounced back well from her pregnancy—youth likely on her side—she was still aware of all the imperfections that marred her skin, the faint white lines on her stomach and hips.

Edward brought his hands up to cup her cheeks, kissing her lightly on the lips. He continued his previous path, kissing the newly exposed skin. His hands trailed down her sides, lightly brushing against the sides of her breasts as they moved toward her waist. She shuddered beneath his touch. It was too much. It was too little. As his hands wrapped around her waist, he pulled her closer and she could once again feel his erection pressing against her, right where the tingling sensation in her body emanated from.

Wanting to be closer, to feel more, Bella grinded herself down on him, moaning his name. She wasn't sure of her movements, but she knew she needed to feel more friction. When she did it again, his hand around her waist tightened, guiding her movements.

Incomprehensible words flew from her mouth, the sounds of their pleasure filling the air. If she were more coherent, she might have been embarrassed, but all she could think about was Edward. Her entire body felt hot and tight, like a coil ready to spring. With one more swirl of her hips, she felt her body explode, her toes curling in ecstasy.

Edward continued to guide her hips as she rode through her orgasm. Moments later, he found his own release, muttering her name along with a string of curse words. No longer able to hold herself up, Bella collapsed against him like a wet noodle, sweat beading along her hairline. Edward wrapped his arms around her and held her close, placing one final kiss on her shoulder as they began to relax, their breathing returning to normal.

Bella wasn't sure how long she sat there, but their bubble was eventually burst by the sound of Ben crying.

~ O ~

After feeding her son, Bella had handed him off to Edward, knowing her cheeks were giving away her embarrassment. She wasn't sure what to say to Edward about what had happened between them, or if anything even needed to be said. Heading into the bathroom, she splashed water on her face, staring at her flushed cheeks in the mirror. Still feeling overheated, she twisted her hair up into a messy knot on top of her head.

With a sigh, she moved back into the living room, finding Edward bouncing Ben on his knee, her son laughing loudly. She sat down next to them, tickling Ben's belly and making silly faces. Leaning her head on Edward's shoulder, she realized that this was what she wanted for herself and for Ben: a family. Edward was the puzzle piece their lives had been missing.

* * *

**A/N: **_**chews fingernails**_ Really nervous about this one! A few astute reviewers correctly guessed what Jasper's problem was. Was it what you expected? And what did you think of the progression of Bella's relationship with Edward? Reviewers get a sneak peek!

I realized I haven't done any fic recs in a few weeks, so…

Second Chances by lislar – I beta this story and I absolutely adore it. It's a shame more people aren't reading it because it's really good.

Never Enough by GrayMatters – This is an older E/B, trying to form a relationship after both have divorced from other people. I have been reading it from the first chapter and I like it a lot.

Also, don't forget to check out The Vampies to nominate your favorite vampire fics! http:/twificpics[dot]com/vampawards


	23. A Slow Climb

lislar is a fabulous beta and shoefreak37 is a pre-reading star. They caught all my missing words and typos. Sometimes my brain works faster than my fingers.

Early update this week because I suck at holding chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 23: A Slow Climb**

A mixture of icy rain and snow slapped against Bella's windshield as she made her way to the diner. As Christmas neared, the weather in Forks had taken a turn for the worse, the colder temperatures leaving the roads covered in a seemingly endless sheet of ice. Pulling into the parking lot, Bella was shocked to see that the place was practically deserted. She was working an early shift and the diner was usually filled by this time, full of people waiting for their greasy breakfasts and strong cups of coffee.

Inside, she found a few regulars sitting around, but there were no waitresses milling about. Even Rosalie was just sitting at the counter, flipping through a magazine. After storing away her coat and bag, Bella made her way back into the dining area, tying her apron around her waist.

"Where is everyone?" she asked, hoping Rosalie wouldn't be annoyed that she had interrupted her.

"Well, things always slow down during the holidays, but with the bad weather, it's even worse than usual. I sent the other waitress on the schedule home; she has a couple kids and wanted to take the day to do some Christmas shopping. So it's just me, you, and Em for the next few hours."

"So what do I need to do?" Bella wracked her brain, trying to come up with chores that could be completed in the absence of customers. The salt and pepper shakers had just been refilled a few days before, the stock room was organized, and the bin that held wrapped silverware was nearly full.

"Have a seat," Rosalie said, patting the stool beside her.

"But the customers…"

"Oh, those guys have been eating here since my grandparents owned the place. They'll yell out if they need something. Besides, I just delivered their food and left a whole carafe of coffee on the table."

Hesitantly, Bella slid onto the stool and placed her hands in her lap. She wasn't sure why Rosalie had chosen to keep her there and sent the other waitress home. Was she really going to pay her for just sitting around all day?

"World War III at the Cullens on Sunday, huh?"

"How did you know about that?" Bella asked, confused.

"Edward dropped by our house last night to watch some football game or something with Em. Really, I think it's just an excuse for them to sit around all evening and drink beer. You should come by with him next time. I could use a break from all that testosterone.

"He said Jasper said some things, was acting like a jackass. No surprise there. He's always been an asshole."

Bella had always been a little wary of Rosalie. She was so blunt and to the point; Bella wasn't used to dealing with someone like that. But her honesty about the situation made Bella smile, even if she wasn't sure the reaction was appropriate.

"You've known him a long time?"

"Yeah, when we were in high school, Em and I used to hang out at Edward's house all the time. He always had the best stuff—movies, video games—and Esme was always baking cookies and snacks. Even as a kid, Jasper constantly walked around like he had a stick up his ass."

Bella let out a loud, unladylike snort just before giggles erupted from within her chest. She slapped her hand quickly over her mouth, not wanting to disturb the few customers the diner had. She relaxed a little when she realized that Rosalie seemed amused as well, a smirk painted on her face.

"Have you talked to Alice about what happened?"

"She came to apologize right after, but…she said some things. I don't think she really meant them, but it still hurt to hear that stuff. I mean, she's really my only friend and…she made it seem like I didn't deserve my son.

"I know that getting pregnant so young was irresponsible, but I'm doing the best I can. I have a lot of help from Charlie and Sue, but it's not like I just expect them to raise Ben for me. I'm sorry that she can't get pregnant, but she shouldn't be mad at me because I did, even if it wasn't under the best of circumstances."

"Fuck 'em," Rosalie said, waving her hand in dismissal. "Jasper's being a judgmental ass and Alice, while I'm sure she'd didn't really mean what she said, was being a piss poor friend. So fuck 'em."

Bella looked down at her hands in her lap, her true fears about the situation bubbling to the surface. Though Alice had hurt her with her words, she was sure that they would be able to work it out at some point. Maybe not that day, or the next, or even the week after, but after some time, she was sure they could get over it. With Jasper, she wasn't so sure; he was just so angry.

As much as she cared about Edward, she felt like her presence was tearing his family apart. Without her presence, Jasper would still be angry, but she wouldn't be there to incite him further. Maybe he would be able to let some things go, to work on his marriage with Alice and make some decisions about their desire to start a family. There were always other options for couples with fertility issues. Things might be better without her and Ben around as constant reminder of what they wanted and didn't have.

What if Edward decided that this was all too much to deal with? She could never expect him to choose her over his family, no matter how much the thought of not having him in her life pained her. She'd never felt like this about anyone before, and even though it scared her, it was also thrilling. Not only would it hurt her to lose him, but Ben too. He'd grown so attached in the few months they'd known Edward. But he was so young; he would forget. She might never recover.

"Did Edward seem upset? Do you think he's going to break up with me?"

"Break up with you? Why would you think that?"

"Because Jasper's his brother and I'm just…I don't even know what I am. It would probably be better for him if he was dating someone else—someone that didn't have a baby and wasn't so much younger." The snide comments Jasper had made about her age and her son echoed in her mind, making her feel self-conscious. She'd worked so hard to be different than that scared, lonely girl she was in Florida, but his words made those same old insecurities rise up and bubble to the surface.

"Now you're just talking crazy. Edward adores you. And Jasper and Alice are going to be having the same problems whether you're around or not."

"But Ben and I are a constant reminder of their problems. Maybe it would be better if we weren't around." Bella couldn't imagine ever being invited to Sunday brunch again or any family event and Christmas was quickly approaching. How could she and Edward stay together when she was a source of such stress and anxiety?

"Bella, are you listening to yourself? No matter what happens, Jasper and Alice are going to have to learn to deal with being around people with families—babies and kids. And someday Edward is going to have a family of his own, whether it's with you or someone else.

"He's a pediatrician; he loves kids. He's already completely in love with your son. And if Alice and Jasper aren't going to do anything to help their situation, then they need to get over it and stop blaming other people for their problems. There are other ways to get a baby and it sounds like they haven't even considered them as options."

"Thanks, Rosalie."

"You're welcome. Come on. Let's go make Emmett cook our breakfast. I'm dying for some pancakes."

~ O ~

When the lunch hour rolled around, the diner was just as deserted as it had been earlier in the morning. A couple of customers had shuffled in and out during the times that the rain let up, but those times were few and far between. Bella and Rosalie had spent most of the day sitting at the counter, talking and laughing. Bella had always been intimidated by Rosalie, but finally being able to spend time with the woman beneath the icy exterior, Bella felt much more comfortable in her presence.

She hoped that this marked a change in their relationship, that they could be friends. Bella thought that Edward might have asked Rosalie to speak with her, but even if that was the catalyst for Rosalie to open up, Bella was glad that it happened. With her relationship with Alice strained, it was nice to think that there was someone else she could open up to.

Emmett was lighthearted and funny, constantly causing the two women to laugh so hard that tears would roll down their cheeks. Without customers, there was little for him to do in the kitchen, so he'd abandoned the grill to sit with them. He and Rosalie were constantly bantering back and forth. Their stories about a high school aged Edward were Bella's favorite—stories about the no-hitter he pitched his senior year, how he'd graduated at the top of their class and gotten a full scholarship to an Ivy League school, the time he got into poison oak on a camping trip and was itchy and red from head to toe, and when he'd fallen out of a tree and broken his arm.

Bella was surprised to see Edward come in towards the end of the hour, his clothes and hair slightly damp from the constant mist falling outside. Watching him shrug off his coat and wipe his shoes on the welcome mat, she realized that in the two days that had passed since she'd seen him last, she had missed him. Moving from her stool at the counter, Bella walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck, molding her body to his. When she pulled away, she noticed the smile on Edward's face, making her cheeks brighten to a light pink.

"I missed you," she said, feeling embarrassed by her public display of affection.

"I missed you, too," Edward replied, taking her hand and threading their fingers together.

She led Edward to a table on the far side of the diner. After he was seated, Bella headed into the kitchen to get his drink. When she returned, Rosalie was standing beside the table, laughing with Edward.

"You can sit and have lunch with Edward, if you'd like."

Bella filled Edward's glass and then handed the pitcher off to her boss, excited to have a free hour to spend with Edward. They were both so busy during the week that they didn't get to spend much time together, aside from an occasional lunch or dinner. Edward slid over in the booth, patting the seat in invitation. Bella smiled at Rosalie as she slid in beside him.

"Bella, did you want anything?"

"No thanks. I'm still stuffed from that huge breakfast Emmett made."

"Well, Edward, I'll be back with your food in a bit."

As soon as Rosalie walked away, Edward put his arm around Bella and kissed her on the temple. Though Bella seemed okay, he was still worried about what had happened over the weekend with Jasper and Alice. He hoped their disapproval wouldn't cause her to question their relationship.

"Having a good day?"

"Yes. There haven't been very many customers, so Em and Rose have been sharing stories with me."

"Stories I should be embarrassed by?"

"Maybe," she replied with a giggle, squirming as Edward tried to tickle the truth out of her.

The pair spent the hour together laughing and feeling lighthearted, not letting the problems from the weekend weigh upon them. Bella kept stealing Edward's fries while he feigned offense. He held her hand, kissed her cheeks and forehead, and was happy to see her carefree smile in return. When he left, he hugged her tightly and kissed her on the lips, not caring about who saw them together. Neither noticed Mrs. Stanley watching them from a corner booth with pursed lips and a scowl on her face.

~ O ~

The next morning, Bella woke up much later than usual, surprised that the baby monitor hadn't woken her. When she tumbled downstairs, she was even more shocked to see Sue sitting on the couch with Esme Cullen, Ben happily playing in his baby swing. Bella tried to smooth out her rumpled pajamas and tangled hair, embarrassed that Edward's mother was seeing her in such disarray.

Bella wished both women a good morning and then moved towards the swing, kissing Ben's cheeks and tickling his belly. She was rewarded with loud giggle. Pulling him from the swing, she turned to face the two women once again.

"There was milk in the fridge, so I thought I'd let you sleep in. Esme and I are planning to drive into Port Angeles to do some Christmas shopping. We thought you might like to come along."

"That would be great, actually," Bella replied. "I haven't really bought any presents and there was a toy I wanted to get Ben."

"Well, let me hold him while you run up and get dressed."

Thirty minutes later, Bella descended the stairs once more, freshly showered and dressed in layers to try to ward off the cold temperatures. She was happy to see that Sue had changed Ben from his sleeper, putting him in something warm and fuzzy. Bella laughed as she realized the brown outfit had little ears on top of the hood, like a bear.

~ O ~

The drive to Port Angeles passed by fairly quickly. Bella sat in the back seat with Ben, staring out the window of Esme's Mercedes. Sue and Esme continued to chatter away in the front seat, but Bella tuned them out. She hadn't spent much time with Esme, and without Edward there as a buffer, she couldn't seem to get a handle on her nerves. At least she had Sue to lean on.

The morning was spent downtown, in and out of the many shops and boutiques. Bella found herself buying lots of things for Ben, but not much for anyone else. She figured she could always pick up a fishing pole or something for Charlie at Newton's Outfitters; he wasn't difficult to please. There was also still enough time to order some things on-line. Her biggest hurdle seemed to be what to purchase for Edward.

For lunch they stopped in a small café, ordering soup, sandwiches, and warm drinks. The place was fairly crowded and they were told the wait for their food would likely be half an hour.

"There was a store next door that I wanted to pop into for just a second. If you two don't mind, I thought I'd just run over there real quick while we wait for our food," Sue said, already rising from her seat. It seemed like a setup and Bella was worried about being alone with Esme.

"You'll have to forgive Sue and me for conspiring. I just wanted to speak to you alone for a few minutes and apologize for my son's behavior on Sunday. I know that he needs to apologize himself, but Carlisle and I were both appalled by the things he said."

"Thanks, Mrs. Cullen. I appreciate your apology, but it's really not necessary."

"Call me Esme, please. Carlisle and I have spoken to both Jasper and Alice. I can assure you that the next time you are at the house, they will be nothing but polite and cordial." Esme was very upset by the things that Jasper had said, as well as the massive bumble Alice admitted to making when she went to apologize to Bella. She couldn't blame Bella if she never wanted to set foot in her home again after the way she had been treated.

Edward hadn't brought a girl home in many years and though Esme had initially been a little hesitant because of Bella's age, it was quickly apparent that Edward was crazy about Bella and Ben. Sue had confided in Esme about some of the things Bella had experienced before coming to Forks and Esme couldn't help but empathize with her. She definitely deserved some happiness in her life and if Edward was the one to give her that, Esme wouldn't stand in the way.

Bella was mature for her age, having grown up with such an aloof and distant mother. Esme admired the young woman for making the best of her situation, raising her son and working part-time. Sue had also said Bella was enrolling in college part-time in the coming spring. It was a lot for someone so young to take on and her strength and determination reminded Esme of Edward as he worked his way through college and medical school.

"That's very sweet of you, but I think it might be best if I stay away for a while, just until they get their problems under control. I don't want to be a source of strain and hostility in your family."

"Nonsense. You and your son are an important part of Edward's life now and that makes you important to me as well. And the problems Jasper and Alice are having really have nothing to do with you. Your absence isn't going to make things any easier.

"Edward will probably be upset because I'm sure he wanted to ask, but Carlisle and I have invited Charlie and Sue over for Christmas dinner. We'd love to have you and Ben over as well, but we hope you'll come earlier in the afternoon to open gifts and spend some time with the family."

Bella initially wanted to decline, but she couldn't deny the sincerity in Esme's voice. She was so motherly and warm; Bella didn't want to disappoint her.

"Thank you for the invitation. I'd love to come."

~ O ~

Bella laughed as she placed her hands against Edward's cheeks, pulling his mouth away from where it seemed to be permanently attached to her neck. She was trying to have a serious conversation. He had other ideas.

"Edward," she said with a giggle, still trying to pry him away.

They had planned a Friday night in, intending to order a pizza and watch movies. It had been a long week and both had been looking forward to an evening of relaxing. Charlie and Sue were heading to an event on the reservation and had insisted on taking Ben with them, always looking for a chance to show him off. This left Bella and Edward with an evening alone, something that didn't happen very often.

The pizza had been delivered by the time Bella got there and they ate quickly. Edward had put on a movie and they'd snuggled together on the couch, but Bella couldn't even recall what he'd put on, just that it was an old black and white film. Somehow she had ended flat on her back with Edward hovering over her, the movie still playing quietly in the background.

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation and you're distracting me. Your mother invited me for Christmas."

"Ugh. I don't want to talk about my mother right now," he said, finally rising up to look her in the eyes. Bella gave him a frown, her eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you worried so much?"

"I just am. Look what happened the last time I was there. And Charlie and Sue will be coming later for dinner. It's a catastrophe waiting to happen."

"I promise everything is going to be fine. If Jasper can't act like an adult, I know my father will have no qualms about telling him to leave."

"But that's not fair. He's their son and I'm just…me."

"Bella, I would never ask Jasper not to bring Alice, just like he should never ask me not to bring you and Ben. You're my girlfriend. I want you there."

It was such a juvenile thing, but hearing Edward call her his girlfriend made the butterflies in her stomach flutter and brought a smile to her face.

"Okay," she said. And when he kissed her again, she stopped worrying about the holidays and concentrated on the amazing man she was spending the evening with.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks to everyone for all the reviews. It still astounds me that _this_ little story has _that _many reviews. I really enjoy reading what you have to say. I try to respond to each one thoughtfully and I always send a teaser. :) See you next Wednesday.


	24. The Only Gift

Thanks to lislar and shoefreak37 for making sure my chapters don't suck. Sorry for not being on schedule this week; it annoys me too.

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**Chapter 24: The Only Gift**

Bella sat nervously in the living room, on the smaller sofa with Edward next to her, Ben nestled in her lap. He was sitting quietly in his little Santa suit, watching the Christmas tree with rapt attention. Esme was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner. Bella offered her assistance, but had been quickly shooed away. The sound of the television could be heard coming from the den and Bella assumed that was where Carlisle and Jasper were. Bella had told Edward he was free to go and sit with them, but he was insistent upon staying glued to her side. She was thankful for that, on edge with Jasper looming around somewhere in the house.

Though everyone had assured her there would be no more outbursts from him, she was still anxious and worried. She had momentarily considered feigning illness—a stomach bug or a headache—but when Edward had arrived to pick her up, she just couldn't follow through. He looked so happy, excitedly grabbing the gifts and Ben, hauling everything out to her car.

She'd exchanged gifts with Charlie and Sue the previous day, the entire blended family meeting up for a laid back morning. They'd worn pajamas and eaten a late breakfast. Ben wasn't old enough to open his own presents, but he liked the shiny paper and bows, the brightly-colored Christmas lights.

Leah had driven in for the day with her boyfriend, only spending a few hours in Forks before they turned and headed back to Seattle. She had hoped to come sooner, but with other commitments, the day was all she could spare. Seth was around for the entire afternoon, wrapping Ben in paper and sticking bows on top of his head. Bella took lots of pictures. Even if her son wasn't old enough to remember his first Christmas, she didn't want to forget it.

Charlie and Sue were spending much of Christmas day on the reservation, having lunch with some of Sue's extended family and friends, but would be having dinner at the Cullen house with Bella. She hoped that if there were any insults directed at her, they would be over and dealt with by the time Charlie arrived. He was generally very level-headed, but in her time living with him, she'd learned that there was one sure-fire way to get him riled up: say or do something to upset her.

"Where's Alice?" Bella whispered to Edward, her eyes scanning the space around her, trying to locate her eccentric friend. She'd hoped the day would give her the opportunity to set things straight with Alice. She hated feeling like there was tension between them, that she couldn't just pop over to Alice's shop whenever she wanted to talk. Though Rosalie had warmed up to her and had some insight about Edward, Alice was still much easier to talk to.

"She's not here. I meant to tell you on the way over. She's spending the holidays with her cousin in California."

"I didn't think she was close with her family." Bella knew Alice had told her that she rarely visited her family, much less for the holidays. It seemed increasingly odd that Jasper was here and Alice was just…gone.

"She's not. Alice and Jasper have decided they need some time apart. She went to her cousin's for a few weeks to give him time to get out of their house. He's moving into an apartment in Port Angeles, closer to work, and she's going to stay here in Forks."

"Are they getting a divorce?" Bella felt the guilt churn in her stomach. Though logically she knew this development had little to do with her, she still felt guilty.

"No, I don't think so. This is supposed to be temporary, just until they can work some things out. She needs time. I'm sure it'll be fine." Edward reached over and took her hand, hoping to give her a bit of reassurance.

Moments later, Esme came breezing into the room with Carlisle and Jasper entering behind her. As gifts began to be passed about, the tension seemed to ease. Jasper had chosen a seat on the far side of the room, a single chair in the corner. Bella almost felt sorry for him, as he'd seemingly exiled himself from the festivities, celebrating for the first time in many years without Alice by his side.

Bella was shocked by the number of gifts that were passed her way, for both herself and Ben. Living with Renee, there was no extended family to visit and she'd always counted herself lucky if Renee remembered to buy her even one gift, much less the whole pile she had beside of her. Charlie and Sue had overspent as well, even though she'd asked them not to buy her anything because of college expenses that would be coming in less than a month.

She hugged both Esme and Carlisle, thanking them profusely for the things they had given her. It was really sweet, especially given that she hadn't been dating Edward long and they didn't really know her all that well. As Carlisle carried the trash out to the garage and Esme went to check on dinner, Jasper finally stood and made his way over towards Edward and Bella.

Edward's arm went around Bella's waist, as if he were showing Jasper that they were a united front. Jasper croaked out Bella's name and nodded before handing her a sealed envelope. The envelope had dancing fairies around the edges, her name written across the center in a hasty scrawl. _Alice._ Sensing that she needed a moment alone, Edward pulled Ben from her lap and kissed her on the temple, heading into the kitchen with the rest of the family.

Gently breaking the seal and pulling out the piece of paper inside, Bella felt her emotions begin to overwhelm her. When she unfolded the letter, a small silver chain with a pendant attached slid out into her hand. It was small and heart-shaped, the stone a dark and rosy pink with veins of black running through it. Bella had feared this note was a goodbye, but she smiled in relief when she read the words Alice has messily scribbled down.

_Rhodonite – The Singer's Stone_

_This stone is for love and healing. It promotes relaxation and helps ward off negativity. I hope it helps you make it through the day. Hope to see you soon. _

_-Alice_

Bella unlatched the tiny clasp and put the chain around her neck. Though there was no apology in the note, Bella knew this was Alice's way of saying she was sorry. This wouldn't completely absolve the problems between them, but it was the first step in the right direction.

~ O ~

Standing near the large window in the front room, Bella watched the flakes of snow fall and gather on the cold, frozen ground. She could see the ice shining on the pavement, glinting under the haze of the streetlights. The sky was cloudy and dark, giving the impression that the worst of the winter storm was yet to come.

After putting Ben down for the evening, she'd lost track of time, totally immersed in Edward and oblivious to the snow that was pouring down outside. After dinner with their combined families, she and Edward had gathered their things and headed to his house to exchange gifts with one another and just spend a quiet evening together.

Edward had spent nearly an hour on the floor with Ben, playing with some toy he'd bought for her son. It had lights and played music; Ben loved anything that was bright and loud, so it quickly became his new favorite. He would laugh loudly and throw his hands in the air as Edward pushed the buttons, doing his best to repeat the actions.

Eventually the excitement of the day had given way to exhaustion and Ben was practically falling asleep sitting up. Bella scooped him up and put him in bed, thankful for an easy night with him. It didn't happen every night, but sometimes he fought to stay awake, fussing and crying when she tried to rock him to sleep.

Once Ben's little snores could be heard sounding through the monitor, she exchanged gifts with Edward before snuggling on the couch to drink cocoa and talk about the day. Edward revealed that he was relieved, that even though Jasper had promised to behave, he hadn't truly trusted his brother to keep himself under control, especially in Alice's absence. He was also happy that their families meshed so well together. Dinner had been easy, even though it was obvious there was something wrong with Jasper; no one said anything about it, not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.

As she stood there continuing to watch the snow, Bella felt Edward's presence behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I can't believe it's still snowing. The streets are covered."

"Do you think I'll be able to get home? The chains Charlie bought for my tires are still in the garage." As soon as winter had rolled in, Charlie had gone straight to the only auto parts store in town and purchased snow chains for Bella's car, but having grown up in warm climates, she'd failed to see the need. Charlie had put them in the garage and told her to stick them in the trunk with her emergency kit, but she had forgotten until that moment.

"You could always just stay here until things melt off in the morning."

Bella bit her lip as she mulled the idea over in her head. It definitely seemed to be a much safer option—she didn't feel comfortable driving on the icy streets, especially with Ben in the car—but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that step in her relationship with Edward.

"Stay," Edward whispered against the skin of her neck, placing soft kisses there. "You can stay in the guest room if that'll make you more comfortable."

Bella turned in Edward's arms, placing her hands against his chest. As she looked into his eyes, she realized that her worries were unfounded. Edward was nothing like James…and he would never expect _things_ from her. As she considered his offer, she knew she wanted to stay, but she wanted to spend the night in his bed, wrapped in his arms.

"Thank you," she said, standing on her tip-toes to place a quick kiss on his lips. "I just need to call and let Charlie and Sue know I won't be home."

Edward kissed her one more time before retreating towards the bedroom, stopping to check on Ben before he went in search of something Bella could wear for the night. Bella pulled her cell from her purse and punched the speed dial to her house.

_Please don't let Charlie pick up. Please don't let Charlie pick up, _she chanted to herself, holding her breath as she heard someone answer on the other end. Her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh of relief as she heard Sue's warm voice filter through the staticky line.

"Sue, it's Bella. I just, umm…I was just calling to let you and Charlie know I won't be home tonight. The roads are covered in snow and I think it would be safer if Ben and I just stayed at Edward's for the night."

"Did you want to talk to Charlie?"

"No! No, I just wanted to let you know, so you wouldn't worry."

"Okay, well, I'll tell him. And I'll hide his car keys, just in case he gets any bright ideas," Sue said with a laugh. Charlie was already in bed, watching tv, but Sue knew he wouldn't hesitate to get up and head over to Edward's house to get Bella, no matter how late the hour or how treacherous the roads were.

"Thanks. I'll see you in the morning."

"Bye, sweetie."

Walking into Edward's bedroom, Bella could hear water running in the bathroom. The door was open and Edward was standing in front of the sink, brushing his teeth. She leaned against the doorframe shyly, unsure what the proper etiquette was for a first-time sleepover with a boyfriend.

When he'd finished brushing, he reached for her hand, pulling her into the bathroom with him. Edward could tell that she was nervous by the pink tint of her cheeks and her rigid posture. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable; she belonged there with him, in his home.

"I don't have an extra," he said, motioning towards the toothbrush, "but you're welcome to use mine. And these were the smallest clothes I could find. I think I might have had this t-shirt in high school." He cupped her cheek and kissed her on the forehead before exiting into the bedroom, pulling the door shut behind him.

As soon as the door closed, Bella unfolded the pile of clothes Edward has placed on the vanity for her. It was just a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt, but it made Bella feel closer to him. The cotton was soft, worn, and she could smell subtle hints of Edward underneath the overpowering floral of his laundry detergent.

She brushed her teeth quickly and twisted her hair into a knot on top of her head. Bella took her time washing away all traces of the light make-up she'd worn for the day, enjoying the feeling of cold water against her overheated skin. The t-shirt Edward had loaned her fell halfway to her knees, the short-sleeves falling well past her elbows. Bella pulled on the boxers and rolled the elastic waist, but they were much too big and she wasn't sure she would even be able to keep them up.

Pulling them off, she folded them and placed them back on top of the counter, deciding that the shirt was modest enough, longer than some of the sundresses she wore in summer. With one final look in the mirror, Bella opened the door and switched off the bathroom light. Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants and a white t-shirt.

"I wasn't sure which side you wanted. I usually tend to gravitate towards the middle, so I thought I'd let you choose."

Bella hesitated momentarily before moving to the right side of the bed. She pulled the covers back and climbed underneath. Edward mimicked her motions on the other side, and then pulled her close once he was settled. She fit perfectly into his side, placing her head on his chest, her arm low across his waist.

"Edward?" she whispered in the dark.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." She smiled as she felt him kiss the top of her head.

~ O ~

Hours later, Bella rubbed her eyes and squinted, trying to make out the numbers on the alarm clock. Ben was awake, whimpering and sniffling. As she moved to throw off the blanket and check on him, Edward pulled her back into the bed.

"Go back to sleep. I'll get him."

As she sank back down in the blankets, staring at the ceiling and trying to fall back asleep, she heard Edward's voice filtering through the monitor. He whispered quietly to her son before he started singing, his voice low and husky. Bella imagined him pacing back and forth in the other room with Ben in his arms. There was something about the sweet way he had with her son that drew her to him, making her want him more than ever.

When Edward returned to bed sometime later, Bella pulled him to her and kissed him. She wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him towards her, rolling onto her back. Edward hovered over her, kissing down her neck and across her collarbones. What started as slow and sweet soon turned into heated and frantic.

Bella felt like she was on fire, her body vibrating from his touch. She wrapped her fingers around the hem of Edward's t-shirt, pulling as she tried to remove it. He pulled back for a moment and allowed her to take it off. She's never seen him without a shirt and she took a moment to admire him in the moonlight, wondering how she'd gotten so lucky to find someone like him.

Edward leaned back down to kiss her again, his hand lingering on her thigh, near the hemline of the shirt she wore—his shirt. It was obvious from his body's reaction that he wanted her, but he didn't want to push. He knew she'd been in that situation before and he didn't want her to feel like she couldn't tell him if she was uncomfortable. But when he felt her leg move to wrap around him, pulling him closer, he realized that maybe this was what she wanted too.

Wanting to feel her skin against his, Edward pulled back again, sliding Bella's shirt up her body. She sat up momentarily, allowing him to pull it over her head. Her arms immediately went around her torso, moving to cover herself. Edward kissed her again as he moved her hands away, whispering that she was beautiful and had nothing to hide from him.

Bella could feel her blush moving down her cheeks and staining her chest as she lay there in Edward's bed, wearing nothing more than her black cotton bra and panties. She had never imagined their night would end up here, but she didn't feel rushed or pressured. It just felt right.

She loved feeling Edward's weight on her, his skin against her skin. The feelings she had only seemed to magnify the huge mistake that had been her relationship with James. Bella had never felt this way about him, never felt the butterflies in her stomach and the prickling across her skin. Everything was different. And as she felt Edward's hand toying with the edge of her panties, his fingers dipping inside, she arched her back and pulled him closer, wanting him to touch her in ways James never had.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is a little on the short side, but I've had a lot going on this past week. I wanted to get this posted before Fandom Gives Back is over. At the last moment, I decided to offer up an outtake of this story. Two of my very sweet readers, Kalimando and Swino, decided that instead of bidding against one another, they'd form a team. The auction ends in around 24 hours, but if you are interested in joining, you can message one of them here or on twitter as Kalimando and swino16. To view the auction: http:/www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)?id=894 All proceeds go to Alex's Lemonade Stand.

Reviewers get a teaser, as always. The next update will post on July 14th. :)


	25. Firecracker

Thanks to lislar for beta stuff, to shoefreak37 for pre-reader stuff and for responding to my ridiculous, self-doubting text messages, and to cherieblossum for helping me with my midday freak-out.

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**Chapter 25: Firecracker**

Bella sucked in a deep breath as she felt Edward's fingers move beneath her underwear, meeting warm, slick skin. Edward touched her softly, his digits teasing her overheated flesh. He began to press more firmly, his fingers finding her clit, rubbing with steady pressure. Edward continued to massage and press until Bella felt like she was on the edge of bursting, like a jack-in-the-box wound up too tight.

Just when she thought she could take no more, Edward's hand shifted, dipping one finger inside her, followed by a second. He moved in and out with long, fluid strokes and she felt her hips rising from the bed to meet him, seeking more friction, more pressure—just _more_. Edward continued to kiss her as his fingers moved inside, intensifying everything she was feeling.

Thoughts of James began to creep back into her mind, but she tried to push them away. She hadn't really allowed him to touch her like this, always shoving his hands away or simply enduring his lackluster attempts, finding no pleasure in his ministrations. He wasn't a concerned lover and never seemed to care whether she was getting any pleasure from their activities, only worrying about himself.

She'd never wanted that sort of relationship with James and Bella regretted that she'd allowed it to happen. Even if he had been more attentive, she doubted that she would found pleasure with him. There was just no spark there and his touch caused almost no reaction for her. She wished that she had waited for someone that made her want to touch and be touched—someone like Edward.

Bella mumbled out a string of incomprehensible words as her orgasm hit, clutching the sheets tightly in her fists. Edward's fingers kept their constant rhythm until the euphoria was over, leaving her feeling like her limbs were made of lead; she couldn't move if she had wanted to. She continued to gasp and pant, staring at the ceiling as she tried to calm her racing heart.

She turned onto her side and smiled, finding Edward lying on his back, just watching her. She put her hand on his cheek and urged him closer, their lips meeting in a slow, sweet kiss. His hands lingered on her bare stomach and then her back, lightly tracing patterns across the flushed and damp skin. Bella had thought she would need more time to recover, that her previous orgasm would leave her sated, but as he continued to kiss her, she felt the knot in her stomach began to tighten once more.

Edward's hand moved down to her thigh, gently coaxing her to hitch it over his hip. She pushed their bodies closer, until she could feel him hard against her. She froze momentarily, worried that that they were taking things too far, progressing into territory she wasn't ready for.

Bella had gotten so caught up in the way she was feeling, the way her body was responding to Edward's touch, that she hadn't really stopped to think about the ramifications of what they were doing. She knew she wasn't ready for sex. Bella had made the mistake of pushing herself into that sort of relationship once before and she wasn't going to do it again.

Edward felt her hesitation and pulled back, seeing the fear in her eyes. The skin across her chest was mottled and she was breathing heavily.

"I think we should stop," she whispered, her eyes staring blankly where her hands rested on his chest. "I'm not ready to…"

Her voice trailed off until it was barely audible, quivering with uncertainty. Edward kissed her softly on the lips and then the forehead, wrapping her up in his arms and turning so that her head rested on his heart. His reaction alleviated all her doubts, further proof that he was different. In the same situation, James would have begged and pleaded, making her feel guilty for not continuing what they had started.

Bella slid her arm across Edward's bare stomach, pulling him closer. She moved her leg between his, but as she did, she inadvertently rubbed against his still very prominent erection. She felt her face heat from embarrassment because she had accidentally touched him there. Bella thought about when Edward had touched her, about the orgasm she'd had. Biting her lip and drawing in a deep breath, she began to move her hand slowly lower, lingering momentarily along the waistband on his pajama bottoms, wondering what it would be like to touch him there on purpose, wondering if she could please him in the same way.

She rested her hand on his stomach, waiting for a reaction from Edward, but when he said nothing, Bella continued her descent. With the lightest touch, she ran her fingers along his erection as it strained beneath the worn fabric. Feeling emboldened, she pressed a little harder, delighting in the resulting groan from Edward. Hoping that she was doing something right, she moved her hand back towards his waistband, dipping her fingers underneath.

Before Bella could reach her intended destination, she felt Edward's fingers gently curl around her wrist, holding it in place.

"You don't have to do that."

Harnessing all the courage and strength she could, she turned her face to look him in the eyes. "I want to," she whispered, feeling the heated blush on her face darken, the sweat breaking out along her brow. Edward must have been convinced because his hand moved away from her wrist, sliding along her arm, and moving to cup her cheek as he kissed her deeply, his tongue tangling with her own.

Sliding her hand into his pants, Bella found him ready, his cock hot and heavy in her hand. The space within his pants was limited, however, and she realized that she wanted to see as well as touch. Removing her hand, she began to tug on his pants, trying to urge them down past his hips. Edward lifted his lower half from the bed, helping her to tug his bottoms just low enough for his erection to be pulled free.

Nerves continued to assault Bella once again, but she reminded herself that this was Edward. He knew that she was inexperienced and would never push her or make her feel like anything less because of what she didn't know or hadn't experienced.

She moved her shaky fingers along his exposed length, tracing the exposed network of veins, paying close attention to the head. Edward's moans and groans seemed to increase as she did so. Bella moved her hand around him, sliding slowly from base to tip, back and forth. Her grip was loose and her movements were slow and measured. She'd never done this before and wasn't sure how tightly to hold him or how fast she should go.

"Show me?" she asked into the darkness, hoping that Edward would show her what he wanted, what he needed.

He moved his hand to wrap around hers, urging her to grip his erection tighter. And with their fingers twined together, they began to move, sweaty palms moving across slick, smooth skin. After a few strokes, Edward pulled his hand away, allowing Bella to continue on her own. She felt him twitch in her hand as he moaned loudly, exhaling her name in a breathy grunt.

"Faster," he panted and Bella quickened her pace. She felt his body stiffen for brief second before he found his release, coming in long, warm spurts across his stomach. He kissed her soundly before sitting up, gesturing to the mess he'd made before heading to the bathroom. Bella bit her lip and tried to stop the smile that was stretching across her face. There was something very satisfying about being able to elicit that reaction from Edward, even if she'd needed his help to guide her.

When he returned from the bathroom, he was wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. He slid into the bed beside Bella, pulling her so close that she was practically lying on top of him. His kiss was soft and sweet, and she drifted off to sleep in his arms, the smile still on her face.

~ O ~

The next day, Bella awoke to early morning sunshine streaming in through the window. Edward was lying next to her on his stomach, his arm draped across her torso. She kissed him on the cheek and then squirmed her way from beneath his iron grip. Walking over to the drapes, she pulled them tightly shut, wanting to allow Edward to sleep just a little later. Bella found the shirt she'd been wearing the night before tossed onto the floor. She picked it up and pulled it over her head and moved down the hallway towards the office.

Ben was already awake, happily chewing on his hands and feet. Bella turned off the baby monitor and pulled him from his bed, heading into the kitchen for his morning feeding. She mixed up his baby cereal and sat down at the table, taking her time feeding Ben his breakfast. When he was finished, she burped him and placed him in his walker, allowing him to watch her as she prepared breakfast for herself and Edward.

Bella had just poured the eggs into the pan to scramble when she heard Edward come stumbling into the kitchen. He was still wearing just his underwear and Bella took a moment to ogle him in the bright sunshine as he stood near her, rubbing his sleep-filled eyes. After a long yawn, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle, his lips beginning their assault on her neck. She giggled and tried to squirm away as his two days of scruff rubbed up against her tender skin.

After breakfast was eaten, Bella and Edward took turns in the shower, and then curled up on the couch with Ben. It wasn't long before Ben was falling over, ready for his nap. Bella put him back in bed, returning to find Edward stretched out lengthwise on the couch, a sleepy smile on his own face. Bella lay down beside him with every intention of napping, but it wasn't long before innocent kisses turned into something else.

~ O ~

Bella struggled to get inside the door around lunchtime, carrying Ben and all his things along with the presents Edward had gotten them both. Her hair was messy and tangled, falling from the twist she'd secured it in earlier that morning. She was wearing her jeans from the day before and one of Edward's t-shirts, the hem knotted at the side of her hip. Her face was flushed from the wind and cold air, her lips still swollen from the frenzied kisses she'd shared with Edward before heading home.

As she walked into the kitchen, she found Sue and Charlie both sitting at the table. Charlie was staring stoically at the newspaper in front of him, avoiding her gaze. It was obvious that he was annoyed from the rigid stiffness in his shoulders and the arts section he held in his hand; Charlie only read the sports page. Sue quickly brought her coffee cup to her lips, failing to hide her smirk.

Bella dragged everything into the living room and then removed Ben from his carrier, heading back into the kitchen. Sue quickly took him from her, pushing a plate towards Bella. There was an assortment of leftovers scattered about and Bella filled her plate, digging in and wondering if Charlie was ever going to talk to her.

After she finished eating, she rinsed her plate and put it in the dishwasher, having every intention of finally taking the nap she so desperately needed. She hoped that Sue would keep an eye on Ben for an hour or so to allow her to catch up on some sleep. But just as Bella was about to make her wishes known, Charlie let out a long and frustrated sigh, setting his newspaper down onto the table with a loud thump.

"Could you, uh, sit down here for a second, Bella?"

Her stomach rolled and she wondered if Charlie was really angry over her choice to spend the night at Edward's house. Though she knew she'd been irresponsible and made mistakes in the past, she was now fully prepared for the next steps that would occur in her relationship with Edward. Though she loved Ben wholeheartedly, she definitely wasn't ready for another child and had taken precautions to make sure there were no more accidents. And as much as Charlie still saw her as his little girl, she was a grown woman and she hoped that he would respect her decisions and trust her judgment.

"Look," Charlie said, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort, "I know you're an adult and I can't exactly ground you or tell you where you can and can't spend the night." His mustache twitched as he reached for his cup of coffee, taking a long chug to steel himself for what he was about to say. "I know you've, uh, you know, before and Edward is older and is probably used to doing that sort of thing in an um…_adult_ relationship…."

"Dad, really, you can stop. There's no need—"

"Just promise me you're being careful," he interrupted. "We all love Ben, but just, you know…"

"I promise," Bella muttered, her eyes nervously darting around the room, her face colored a hideous crimson. Charlie nodded his head at her before retreating. As soon as the front door slammed, Sue let out a loud guffaw.

"It's not funny, Sue!" Bella said, but she couldn't stop the small giggle that erupted from her chest.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry he made you so uncomfortable. I tried to tell him that he didn't need to do that, but he wouldn't listen. I even offered to talk to you myself, in private. He just really felt like it was his fatherly duty."

Bella sighed and shook her head, still embarrassed by _the talk_ she'd just had with Charlie.

~ O ~

Two days later, while driving home from her shift at the diner, Bella drove by Alice's shop and was surprised to see that the neon sign in the window was glowing brightly. She'd tried calling Alice several times since Christmas and had sent a couple of e-mails, but she had heard nothing back. Bella quickly flipped on her signal and turned into the small parking lot in the front.

As she entered the store, she was assaulted by the smell of burning incense and some strange music playing lightly in the background. She wasn't sure what the song was supposed to be, but Bella was sure she heard chanting and drums.

"I'll be with you in just a minute," she heard Alice call from the back. While Bella waited, she looked through the items Alice had for sale, admiring the shiny stones of the jewelry and smelling the different oils and perfumes sitting in ornate glass bottles.

"Wow. You're really pink!"

Bella turned to see her small friend standing there with a smile on her face. She nearly gasped when she noticed Alice's hair. Her once long and flowing locks were gone, replaced with a short, choppy haircut that barely covered her ears.

"Do you hate it?" Alice asked, an apprehensive look on her face as she fingered the jagged pieces of hair near the back of her neck.

"No, Alice, I think it's very…_you_."

Alice smiled brightly. "Thanks. With everything going on, I just needed a bit of a change, a fresh start." She hesitated for a moment before stepping closer to Bella. "Would it be okay if I hugged you?"

Bella stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her tiny friend, happy to be given a chance to mend their friendship. Bella heard Alice sniffle and she could feel the tears falling onto her shoulder, soaking through the polyester fabric of her uniform.

"I'm so sorry," Alice said as she pulled away. "I've been all weepy and emotional lately. And I've missed you so much. The things I said to you were just terrible and I am very sorry. I'll understand if you can't forgive me, but I just wanted you to know that I love you and you've been one of the best friends I've ever had."

Bella reached out and grabbed Alice's hand, squeezing it tightly. "The things you said hurt me, Alice, but I'd like to move past them. I've really missed you, too. Now what's this about being pink?"

Alice laughed, a light and happy sound that made Bella smile. "Your aura is obnoxiously pink. Oh my gosh! I want to see Edward. I'll bet his is just as bad."

Bella felt her face flush, wondering if Alice was somehow aware of the night they had shared. "What does that mean, the pink aura?"

Alice rolled her eyes dramatically, as if she offended that Bella wasn't completely aware of all her crazy beliefs and ideas. "It means that you're in love, silly!"

Bella smiled and ducked her head, embarrassed that Alice had so easily picked up on what she had been feeling. She'd known for weeks that she was falling in love with Edward, but her feelings for him had solidified over the Christmas holiday. He was kind and caring towards not only her, but her son as well, treating Ben as his own, not some illegitimate baby with no father. Edward had easily welcomed them both into his life.

Though Bella knew it was probably much too early to voice her feelings to him, she felt the words lingering on the tip of her tongue whenever he was near. Those three little words filled her mind and she was almost afraid that she would let them slip at an inappropriate time, but most of all, she was afraid that the sentiment wouldn't be returned. She loved Edward with her whole heart, but did he feel the same way about her?

She wanted the words to be true when he said them to her, not just a reassurance to placate her. Bella had made the mistake of trying to make herself love James, to force feelings that were never there. With Edward, things were simple. Nothing felt forced or awkward when they were together—just natural and easy. She hoped things would remain that way when she finally mustered up the courage to tell him how she felt.

~ O ~

Edward dropped by later that night to see Bella once his shift at the clinic was over. He'd planned to take off the entire week between Christmas and New Year's, but because the clinic was the only medical care some residents of Forks had access to, he'd made the decision to work a couple of afternoons and one full day.

He was surprised to find Bella home alone with Ben, but she explained that Charlie and Sue had driven to Port Angeles for dinner and wouldn't likely be back until much later in the evening. Bella put on a movie and he joined her on the couch with Ben, snuggling the little guy in his lap. As the credits rolled to signal the end, Ben was asleep in Edward's lap and Bella was slumped over with her head on his shoulder, also sleeping.

Edward slid away from Bella, allowing her to lie down on the couch. He carried Ben into his room and placed him in his crib, turning on the baby monitor and kissing Ben on the cheeks. Edward moved back into the living room to deal with Bella, laughing quietly as he heard her snoring.

"Come on, baby. Let's get you to bed." He tugged and pulled until she stood, rubbing her eyes and mumbling under her breath. Her eyes were half-closed as she stumbled up the stairs to her room, Edward walking behind her to make sure she didn't fall. When she entered her room, Bella immediately began pulling off clothes, flinging her sweater onto the floor before she unsnapped her jeans and slid them down her legs. She fell onto the bed, on top of the blankets, in just her underwear.

Edward searched around in the piles of clothes on her dresser, finding a nightgown that looked suitable. He urged Bella to sit up as he slid it over her head and helped her place her arms in the short sleeves. He kissed her on the forehead and told her goodnight, but Bella had other plans. She slid her fingers through his belt loops and urged him closer. He gave her one quick kiss, hoping that would appease her.

"Stay with me," Bella said as she looked up at him with a sleepy smile. Though he liked the idea of sharing a bed with her again, he knew that her father's house was not the place to do so.

"I would, Bella, but Charlie—"

"Won't be home for hours," she said, cutting off his objection. "Just for a little while, until I fall asleep again."

Edward knew that he couldn't tell her no, so he toed off his shoes, and joined her in the tiny twin bed. He tried not to close his eyes, knowing that he needed to get out of there before Charlie returned. Edward felt Bella's hand undoing the top two buttons of his shirt, her lips against his neck, making a trail from his earlobe to his Adam's apple.

"Bella, we can't do this here. Charlie really would kill me," Edward said, turning in the bed to face her.

"I know. I just missed you."

"I missed you, too," he said, pulling her close and kissing her again, his hands moving down to squeeze her ass, pulling her close against him. They continued to kiss and touch for several minutes, but Edward soon realized he needed to leave before things escalated.

"I should go."

Bella kissed him one more time before sitting up and throwing back the blankets. She followed him quietly down the stairs, walking him to the door. Edward hugged her tightly when they reached the door, hoping she realized how much she meant to him. When he pulled away, he was shocked to see tears in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did I do something?" Edward asked, panic already setting in.

"No, I just…" Her voice trailed off and she dropped her face, staring at his shoes. Edward moved his hand to cup her chin, pulling her face upwards until their eyes met.

"You know you can tell me anything."

"I know. I'm just scared."

Edward moved his hand from her chin to her cheek, his other hand resting on her hip. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, her eyelids, and the tip of her nose, hoping that his actions would reassure her; she had nothing to be scared of with him. Bella moved closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. He slid both arms around her waist and waited, hoping she would feel safe enough to share whatever was on her mind.

"I love you," he heard her whisper quietly into the fabric of his shirt. He squeezed her tighter and smiled. When he finally released her from his grasp, she looked up at him with uncertain eyes.

"I love you, too," he finally answered back, delighted to see the bright smile that broke out on her face.

* * *

**A/N: **With this chapter, I should be back on schedule for regular Wednesday updates from here on out. Thanks to everyone that reads and reviews. Teasers will be sent, as always.

The FGB auction for my outtake raised $160, which seems like a huge amount for me. A big thanks to Kalimando for organizing the team and to all the ladies that donated. I'm excited to see what they come up with!


	26. Lie to Me

Thanks to shoefreak37 for reading over this at the last minute. And thanks to lislar for her support, even though she didn't get to look at this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 26: Lie to Me**

Bella yawned and rubbed her eyes as she walked down the stairs. Ben usually woke her up in the mornings, but when she rolled over, there were no sounds coming from the monitor and the clock revealed it was nearly nine. She wondered why Sue and Charlie had let her sleep so late.

The living room and nursery were empty, so Bella headed into the kitchen. Sue was loading breakfast dishes into the dishwasher; a plate of sausage, eggs, and toast was sitting on the table in front of Bella's usual seat. Ben was in his high chair, nibbling on Cheerios and bits of banana. A quick glance out the window revealed that the cruiser was gone; Charlie had already gone into work.

"Morning," Bella said, followed by another yawn. She stopped for a moment to check on her son, tickling his belly and kissing his cheeks. He responded by laughing and pulling her hair.

"Sleep well?" Sue asked, moving to pour Bella a glass of juice.

Bella nodded in reply as she sat down and began to eat her breakfast. Sue moved to sit across from her at the table and when she picked up her coffee mug, Bella noticed the tiny diamond ring on her finger. A huge smile broke out on Bella's face and she hoped the ring meant what she thought it did. When her eyes met Sue's, the answering smile confirmed her suspicions.

"Sue, oh my God!" Bella said, rising from her seat to move to Sue's side. Sue held her hand out and Bella inspected the solitaire as it glinted under the kitchen's fluorescent lighting. "I'm so happy for you guys!" Bella wrapped her arms around Sue and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," Sue said with a laugh. "Charlie hoped to wait long enough for you to wake up, but he had to leave."

"Did he propose last night?" Bella giggled as she thought of what Charlie's idea of a romantic proposal might be. She imagined him taking Sue out on his fishing boat, proposing between catches, and toasting the occasion with a can of Vitamin R. "Was it cheesy?"

"No, it was very sweet. He took me out to dinner in Port Angeles and he proposed during dessert. He even got down on one knee beside of the table. And he was so nervous! His palms were sweaty and he kept fumbling with his words.

"Later, when he'd finally calmed back down, he said he wanted to do it on Christmas, but he chickened out. Then, he decided he'd do it for New Year's, but he didn't want to wait that long."

The smile on Sue's face was blinding and Bella was happy for her and Charlie. Her father had been alone for so many years, burned by his disastrous marriage to Renee. Bella was happy that he'd finally found a woman worthy of his love and attention.

"Have you told Leah and Seth yet?"

"I called both of them last night. I was afraid Leah might be upset, but she seemed genuinely happy for me. She still has a hard time dealing with her father's death," Sue said, her expression sobering as she thought of her daughter.

"When's the big day?"

"As soon as the weather warms up, I think we'll just do it here in the back yard. We're both older and have been married before. No need to make a big spectacle out of it. I'd love for you to help me plan, if you want."

"I'd love to," Bella said, already imaging how things could be arranged in the backyard to allow for a small wedding. She stopped her train of thought, however, when she realized she was no longer thinking about a wedding for Charlie and Sue; she was thinking of a wedding for herself…and Edward.

~ O ~

Struggling down the stairs, dragging her heavy suitcase behind her, Bella couldn't keep the smile off of her face. Edward had asked her to go out of town with him for a few days, to ring in the New Year together. They had originally planned to just spend the evening at his house, but when his mother mentioned his parent's cottage a few hours from Forks, he'd suddenly had the idea to take Bella away.

The cottage was nestled deep in the woods, a quiet place that Carlisle and Esme liked to retreat to for the weekend, to find respite from their hectic lives. Edward said he hadn't spent much time there, but was excited to share the place with Bella. Even if it was only for a couple of nights, Bella was looking forward to spending so much uninterrupted time with Edward.

The edges of her luggage flopped and banged against the wooden steps, but it was too big for her to carry. She realized that she probably should have just waited for Edward to arrive and asked him to bring it downstairs for her. She still needed to pack Ben's things, which would take the longest. Babies needed a lot of stuff.

As she sat on the floor of the nursery, piles of Ben's little clothes all around her, Sue walked in. Ben was lying on the floor next to Bella, watching his mother with interest. Sue sat down beside Bella, her hands tracing a design on one of Ben's sleepers.

"I remember when my kids were this small. Sometimes it feels like it was forever ago, and then other times, the memories are so clear that if feels like it was yesterday. I was about your age when I had Leah.

"Harry was ecstatic. He'd wanted kids for so long. He was older than I was, had been married before."

"I didn't know that," Bella answered, wondering why Sue was sharing this story with her now.

"He and his first wife were married for 10 years. She was killed in a car accident and Harry thought that was it for him, that he'd end up alone. I had barely turned 18 when we met, and Harry was 35, almost twice my age. It was a big scandal on the reservation, especially when we ran away and eloped a few months later.

"My father wanted to kill him, of course. And things were awkward for a long time between our families, but eventually people grew to accept it, to accept us."

"How did he die?" Bella asked, suddenly realizing that in many ways, she and Sue had a lot in common. Though Sue had been married when she'd given birth, they were both young mothers, also both devoted to men much older than them, although the distance between herself and Edward was much less than that between Sue and Harry.

"Heart attack. He went camping for the weekend with a bunch of his friends, your father included. Harry decided to take a walk in the woods early one morning; Charlie found him later in the afternoon, but it was already too late.

"I'd known your father for years, of course, but had never really spent much time with him. But after Harry died, he felt some sort of responsibility towards me, I guess. He started stopping by the house more frequently, just to check on me, see if the kids or I needed anything. And eventually, something between us started to change."

Bella reached over and clutched Sue's hand tightly. "I'm really glad that you're here, that you're marrying my dad."

"Me too," Sue said with a smile. "Now, about this trip," she continued, wiping the wetness from her eyes. "Charlie is probably going to be a little miffed at me for suggesting this, but if you want to leave Ben here, that would be fine. I wouldn't mind taking care of the little guy for a few days."

"Oh, I don't know. What if he needed me? I mean, it would be for two nights and he's never been away from me for that long."

"He'll be fine. Charlie and I put him to bed sometimes when you're working. He won't notice the difference. You deserve a little break and it'll give you a chance to spend some time with Edward, just you and him."

Sensing the trepidation in Bella's eyes, Sue continued, "It doesn't make you a bad mother to leave him." She squeezed Bella's hand and gave her a pointed look.

"Thanks," Bella said, smiling as she leaned over to hug Sue.

~ O ~

After running a few errands in the afternoon, Bella was surprised to pull into the driveway and see Charlie's cruiser there, as well as the SUV Edward had borrowed from his parents. He was afraid it would snow, which meant they couldn't take Bella's car. Edward's truck wasn't an option because they had planned on taking Ben.

She heard mumbles of conversation coming from the kitchen as she walked in with Ben on her hip. Sue, Charlie, and Edward were all sitting around the table with tense looks upon their faces. They all turned to stare at her as she walked in and Bella wondered what was going on. Sue tried to smile, but it was obvious that it was forced.

Bella walked over and sat down in the seat next to Edward. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice filled with worry.

"Just a couple of things we needed to take care of. Nothing to worry about," Charlie answered.

Bella wondered if Charlie was giving Edward some sort of speech, warning him about taking her out of town…_alone_. Surely he wouldn't embarrass her that way. As she looked at Edward's face, however, she could see the stress and worry in his eyes, the tenseness in his shoulders. This was something else entirely and she wanted answers. If Charlie wouldn't tell her what she needed to know, surely Edward would.

"Edward?" She turned to face him, a pleading look on her face.

"Bella, I can't…I…" Edward reached out to hold her hand, but she pulled away from him, waiting for him to say something, to explain what was going on.

"I asked him not to say anything, Bella," Charlie piped in. "I thought it would be better if you didn't know, at least until everything was taken care of."

"Taken care of? What are you talking about? Please, someone tell me something," Bella begged, a million different scenarios playing out in her head. Her stomach churned as she considered what could be so terrible that her father had called Edward to their house, to have a meeting behind her back. It was obvious from their shocked faces when she walked in the door that they weren't expecting her to interrupt them.

_James. _He was the only person that Bella could think of that would cause such a reaction—or maybe his mother. But why would he want to come back into her life after all this time? After he'd given his son away? Ben no longer belonged to him, so what sort of threat did he pose?

He'd made no attempt to contact her since she'd left Florida, expressed no desire to see Ben. Bella wondered if James even knew whether she'd had a boy or girl, what she'd named the baby, or where she even was. This all seemed so out of the blue and it didn't make sense.

Just when she was finally starting to get her life together, it seemed like things were crashing around her again. What could James possibly want from her? And why had he contacted Charlie and not her?

"It's Renee."

_Renee. _She hadn't even crossed Bella's mind. Renee was the one person she never expected to want anything to do with her again. She'd never taken good care of Bella and had sent her away when she needed her mother most. Bella couldn't think of anything she had to offer her mother.

"She called the day after Christmas, asking a lot of questions. I guess Mrs. Stanley found her phone number online and gave her a call after she saw you and Edward together at the diner, told Renee she was worried about you cavorting with such an older man."

Bella snorted and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure _that's_ what she was worried about." Mrs. Stanley was the town gossip and Bella was sure she'd seen this as her opportunity to find out about Bella's past, about who Ben's father was, all under the guise of concern.

"What else did Renee want? I'm sure she wasn't just calling to check up on me." Renee had made no attempt to call Bella, to write, to do anything since her arrival in Forks. The only time anyone had spoken to Renee, up until now, was the night she told Charlie she was pregnant.

"Bella, we're taking care of it. There's no need to worry," Edward said, reaching over to place his hand on her thigh, hoping she would just let things go. Bella fought the urge to glare at him, angry that she was being treated like a child.

"She wants money," Sue blurted out. "We can't keep this from her. It's not fair," she continued, giving Charlie _the look_.

Bella was confused. They had no money to give Renee. Charlie worked for a mediocre salary and her paycheck from the diner was barely enough to buy Ben's diapers. It didn't matter, though. Just because she asked for money didn't mean they had to give it to her. Bella was a legal adult; there was nothing Renee could do.

"Did you tell her to leave us alone?"

"Yes," Charlie said. "But she threatened to contact the family of Ben's father."

"I don't understand. James signed his rights away. He has no claim to Ben."

"No, he doesn't, but I guess his family does if they wanted, or even Renee. There are laws. I'm not exactly sure of all the statutes in Florida, but grandparents can petition the court for visitation."

Bella felt her heart sink. When James had given up his parental rights, she'd never even considered the idea that someone could come along and try to take her son away from her. She didn't realize she was shaking until she felt Edward reach out for her hand, holding it gently between his. Sue reached for Ben and Bella handed him over without a word.

"How much does she want?" Bella asked, her voice barely a whisper. She was staring at her lap, unable to meet the concerned gaze of those around her.

"Everything I have in my retirement fund, which is ten thousand dollars."

"Dad, you can't give her that money! That's all you have."

"Bella, I told you not to worry. It's already been taken care of."

Bella shook her head back and forth, unable to comprehend that Charlie would hand over his entire life savings to Renee in order to help her. It wasn't right and she couldn't allow him to do it, no matter what it cost her.

"You can't do that. It's not—"

"I paid her," Edward interrupted.

Bella's eyes widened as she turned in Edward's direction. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Sue standing and pulling on Charlie's arm, urging him to leave the room. She didn't speak until they were out of earshot.

"Why would you do that? Edward, you can't. If she thinks she can just get money from you whenever she wants, she'll keep doing this. You don't know Renee."

"I know enough. And she doesn't know it was my money. She thinks Charlie cleaned out his bank account."

"I can't let you do this," Bella said. "That's so much money and I don't know how I'd ever be able to pay you back." It would be years before she could even imagine having a good job, starting her career, and even then, she'd be entry-level, struggling to make it. And she wouldn't just have herself to worry about; Ben would need her.

"I don't expect you to pay me back. Charlie told me what was going on and I offered to help. He didn't want my money either, but I insisted. I love you, Bella. I just wanted to protect you."

Edward urged her closer and she moved to sit in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and Bella rested her head on his shoulder. He placed his arms around her waist and held her tight.

"You can't protect me from everything, Edward. And you weren't even going to tell me." That was what bothered her most—not the money, but that Edward had intended to lie to her. She thought they'd always been honest with one another, but she was left to wonder if there were other things he was keeping from her.

"We were going to tell you, once everything was taken care of and Renee sank back into whatever hole she crawled out of. I didn't want to upset you." Edward felt terrible for keeping things from Bella, but Charlie had asked for his silence. He hated seeing the hurt in her eyes, knowing that he was at least partially responsible. He wanted to tell her immediately, but Charlie had been adamant that she would only be overwhelmed by the information. Edward sighed as he realized their attempts to protect her had failed completely.

Bella's lips pressed softly against Edward's neck and he sighed in relief. "If you want to stay here for New Year's…" His voice trailed off, hoping she wasn't so angry that she wouldn't want to spend some time away with him.

"No, I still want to go," she said, finally pulling her head from his shoulder to look him in the eye. "I love you, Edward. I just need you to be honest with me."

"I love you, too," he answered, leaning forward to kiss her chastely. "And I won't keep things from you ever again."

~ O ~

Edward quickly loaded their things into the SUV, surprised that Bella had arranged to leave Ben behind. He had mixed feelings about it. Though he was happy to have some time alone with Bella, he also knew he'd miss the little guy. Even though Ben wasn't his child, Edward felt very protective of him and enjoyed the moments they spent together. Ben was a part of Bella and he couldn't help but love him.

The drive to the cottage was relatively quiet, the radio playing softly in the background, making the silence between Edward and Bella seem less awkward. Bella sat staring out the window, thinking as she watched the scenery pass. Her emotions were jumbled as she thought of the life she had in Florida, of the mess she thought she left behind her.

It was dark when they finally pulled in the driveway and Bella was exhausted. Edward carried in the luggage while she made herself a cup of tea. After drinking the tea to help her sleep, Bella quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face, putting on a pair of cotton pajamas, and sliding into bed.

Edward slipped in behind her a few minutes later, moving until her back was flush against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her bare shoulder, hoping that sleep would help her put things into perspective.

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**A/N: **We're starting to wind down. I'm thinking 5-7 more chapters. I posted an outtake from Charlie's perspective today. It gives some insight into his life, so be sure to check that out too.

Reviewers get a teaser. See you next week!


	27. Two Hearts

No time for a beta this week because I am super fail at getting my chapters done on time. Thanks to lislar for all the work she's done up to this point. And thanks to famouslyso, contagiously, and shoefreak37 for pre-reading.

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**Chapter 27: Two Hearts**

Blinking furiously, trying to adjust to the darkness, Bella turned to look at the clock; the bright red numbers let her know that it was three in the morning. She fluffed her pillow and shifted her position, trying in vain to fall back asleep. After staring at the clock for half an hour, she gave up on getting more rest.

Bella rubbed her eyes and yawned, pulling away from Edward's grasp to sit up, leaning against the headboard. Edward didn't move, continuing to snore lightly. Bella could hear the wind howling outside, the sounds of leaves rustling in the trees, but the house was mostly silent.

The quiet was eerie, strange. She'd grown used to the creaks and groans of Charlie's old house, the sounds of cars driving down the street outside her window. Mostly, she missed the sounds of Ben. At night, she could sometimes wake up to find him gurgling and making noises. Sometimes he would cry, but most of the time Bella was content just to hear him breathing through the monitor.

Occasionally, she would find herself creeping down the stairs and into his little nursery. Ben always looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Bella would rub his back and smooth the hair away from his forehead, content to just stand there and stare at the tiny little person that held her heart. She couldn't imagine her life without him and the idea that someone would want to take him away was overwhelming.

Bella felt Edward stir beside her, moving over to rest his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and they lounged in silence for several minutes, just listening to the wind whip through the trees. Ben continued to occupy her thoughts and she wondered if she should have brought him along. It was strange to be away from him overnight, and the Renee drama made her even more uneasy.

"What time is it?" Edward mumbled against her thigh.

"Almost four. I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."

"Is everything okay?" Edward asked, finally moving to sit up and join her in leaning against the headboard. When he raised his arm to place it around her shoulders, Bella moved to rest her head against his chest, needing the comfort and security he offered.

"I miss Ben. Is that weird? I mean, I know we've only been gone for a few hours, but it's just…different."

"It's not weird at all. You're his mother; of course you miss him. I miss him, too."

"You do?" Bella asked. While she had always loved the way Edward cared for Ben, she had assumed that Edward would be happy to have some time alone without worrying about a baby crying because of hunger, needing a diaper changed, or just wanting to be held. Even though it was obvious Edward loved kids, it had to be a huge transition for him—working a baby into his everyday life and his relationship with her.

"Of course I do. I know he's not…mine, but I like being there for him…and you. I know he's not old enough to know what a dad is, but I hope when he gets older, he'll see me as a sort of father figure."

"I hope so, too," Bella said, staring at her hands resting in her lap. "I made such a mess of things and I really thought all that stuff was behind me, but now Renee's wreaking havoc again."

"She's not going to bother you anymore, Bella. Renee got what she wanted." Though they probably shouldn't have given Renee any money at all, Edward and Charlie had decided that for the moment, it was the best way to get rid of her. She was a poor excuse for a mother and surely no court would award her visitation to the grandson she wanted Bella to abort, but Edward wasn't comfortable taking that chance.

Charlie had called an attorney to look into what legal rights Renee would have in regards to Ben, but they both knew she didn't really want anything to do with the baby. When it came down to it, she was grasping at straws, trying to use the only leverage she had. The attorney was also scouring over the documents Bella signed when she gave birth, trying to see if James' family had any legal rights since he had signed his own away.

"I shouldn't have left Ben behind. What if she comes to Forks and tries to take him away?"

"Bella," Edward said, putting his hand beneath her chin and tilting her face up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "She's not going to come, and even if she did, do you really think Charlie is going to let her anywhere near Ben?"

"You're right. I'm just worried, overthinking." She continued to fidget, picking at a loose thread on her sleep shorts and twisting the end of her tank top in her hands.

"Do you want to go back? We could be there by breakfast time." Though Edward didn't relish the idea of packing their bags up and driving home in the middle of the night, he would do anything to make Bella more comfortable. He hated seeing the frown on her face, the lines of worry etched across her forehead.

"No, I'll be okay. We're not that far away and if something happened, Charlie would call. But maybe I'll check in with them in a few hours."

~ O ~

Throughout the day, Bella checked in with Charlie and Sue, talking to Ben on the phone even though he couldn't really talk back. His laughter and coos were enough to reassure her that everything was okay. Just as Edward had done, Charlie reassured her that there was nothing to worry about in regards to Renee, but Bella still wondered what other tricks her mother might have up her sleeve.

Even though it was New Year's Eve, Bella and Edward were content to spend the day resting and being lazy. There was a small town nearby and Edward offered to drive there, sure that they could find somewhere to eat dinner, but Bella was happy to stay where she was. She'd always been a bit of a homebody.

Instead, Bella made dinner—one of her favorite pasta dishes and a cheesecake for dessert. They sat across from one another at the small table for two. Edward had found some candles in a drawer and lit them; Bella watched the flames flicker and dance as she ate her meal, smiling at Edward across the table.

After dinner was finished, they moved into the living room, curling up on the couch in front of the fireplace. Bella rested her feet in Edward's lap, sighing in contentment as he massaged her soles and rubbed her tired arches. She didn't realize she'd fallen asleep until she felt Edward moving her closer to the back of the couch, lying down in the empty space he'd created.

The couch was oversized and there was plenty of room for both of them, but Bella still curled up close to Edward, twining their legs together and resting her head upon his chest. By the time they both woke up, it was nearly eleven. Bella smiled as she thought about how boring and normal they were, completely mundane. Their relationship was stable and steady, something she'd been lacking for most of her life. She felt very secure and that was a comforting thought.

Bella sat up and yawned, stretching her arms up into the air. Edward had turned the tv on and retreated to the kitchen. He returned with some of the leftover cheesecake, a bottle of champagne, and two glasses. They sat together, feeding one another and stealing kisses as they waited for the giant disco ball to drop.

"Have you ever been to New York City?" Edward asked as they watched all of the happy, smiling people crammed into Times Square.

"No, Renee always tended to stay in the south. She liked warm climates best, places were there was no snow. We lived in a lot of different places, but we really didn't do any traveling or family vacations. There were a couple of times when I visited Charlie in the summer when he took me to California, though."

The memory of vacations with Charlie caused Bella to laugh, remembering events that she hadn't thought about in years. She was fairly young the first time Charlie had taken her to Disneyland, maybe five or six. Though she knew her dad enjoyed spending time with her, a crowded amusement park filled with screaming children certainly wasn't his idea of a good time.

She fondly remembered the photo of them that had been taken, one she'd kept sitting on her nightstand for years, until it had been lost in one of her many moves with Renee. Charlie was wearing a silly pair of Mickey Mouse ears and a flannel shirt, even in the heat of the California summer. They were both holding ice cream cones and smiling. Those were the types of happy memories she hoped to create with Ben.

"We should take a vacation. Maybe in the summer, after Ben's birthday? I was looking on the internet and some of those all-inclusive resorts cater to families for young children."

Bella smiled and nodded her head, unable to find the right words to express all of the things she was feeling in that moment. She thought about the future, about taking vacations with Edward—as a family. Bella imagined Edward teaching Ben to swim, taking him to his first baseball game, and coaching his Little League team. And in all the scenarios she imagined, she imagined Edward as Ben's father, not just her boyfriend.

~ O ~

The champagne was bubbly and light; Bella had two glasses. She'd only drank a few times before and she knew not to overdo it. The alcohol helped to calm her down and lessen the nervousness that rippled deep within her belly. In its place, desire bloomed. The more Edward touched her and kissed her, told her that he loved her, the more she realized that she was ready. Need and yearning eclipsed all other emotions.

As the cheers and singing sounded from the tv, ringing in the start of a brand new year, the champagne gave her the courage she needed to crawl into Edward's lap when he kissed her. To put her hands beneath his shirt, fingers lingering on the skin of his stomach. To rub and slide against him, creating enough friction to cause a moan to escape from her lips. And when Edward picked her up to carry her to the bedroom, she continued to nip at and kiss his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist as she worked to undo the buttons of his shirt.

Bella pushed the shirt from his shoulders as Edward sat her down on the plush mattress. The bed was high, keeping her at eye level with him. Her shirt followed his and then her hands moved to undo the buttons of his pants, letting them drop to the floor. They moved to the center of the bed and Edward hovered over, his mouth moving along her jaw and down the column of her throat. His hands roamed along her newly exposed skin, across her shoulders, down her arms, and then lingered below her belly button, toying with the button of her jeans.

Edward looked into her eyes and she knew he was seeking confirmation that what he was doing was okay. When he saw no hesitation, he removed her jeans, his hands moving up her legs, ghosting along the skin of her thighs. Bella pulled his mouth to hers once again, wrapping her legs around him, wanting to feel his weight on her. Edward was heat and fire and all the things that she had been missing. She wanted this—wanted him.

As she curled her fingers in his hair, Edward's hands moved to her breasts, gently massaging the soft flesh, his thumbs running across her nipples. Bella could feel the heat from his fingers through the thin lace of her bra. He put some distance between their bodies, his mouth leaving a hot trail down Bella's torso. She rose from the mattress a little, just enough to put her arms behind her back and undo the clasp of her bra, allowing the straps to slide down her arms. She hesitated for a moment, unsure, but as she looked into Edward's eyes, she regained her confidence, and tossed it to the floor.

Edward's gaze was penetrating and Bella could feel her body flushing under the warmth. They were crossing into new territory, going farther than they'd gone before. This time, she knew that she was ready, that this was the right step to take. She didn't feel awkward or unsure, like she was being taken advantage of. Bella felt loved and adored; Edward made her feel beautiful.

When Edward tugged on her panties, she lifted her hips from the bed and allowed him to remove them, willing and anxious. His hand moved between her thighs, rubbing, pushing, circling. Bella let out a loud moan as he dipped two fingers inside her, moving in a steady rhythm. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the sensation. As the feeling became almost too much to bear, she felt his mouth on her. Fingers and lips and teeth and tongue all worked together to push her over the cliff. Her orgasm was the most intense thing she'd ever felt, consuming her. Words fell from her lips, but none of them made any sense, even to her own ears.

Bella moaned again and sighed out Edward's name as her orgasm subsided. She could still feel the tingling between her thighs, and as Edward kissed a path back up her body, she reached for him once more. As they kissed, she moved her hands between them, reaching down to rub Edward's cock, feeling the warmth even through the fabric of his underwear.

Edward groaned into her mouth and pushed against her hands, seeking more friction. Bella pulled her hands away and tried in vain to shove down his boxer briefs, trying to rid him of the one barrier that remained between them. Her arms weren't long enough to push them very far, but Edward got the hint, sitting back to hastily remove them. Before resuming his position above her, he searched around in the nightstand drawer, placing a condom easily within their reach.

He kissed her sweetly and looked into her eyes, silently seeking permission. Bella answered by curling her fingers in his hair, and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too. So much."

Bella held Edward's gaze as he slid inside her for the very first time. His thrusts began as a slow and constant rhythm and Bella relished the feeling of him moving inside her. The feelings and emotions she felt were different than anything she'd ever experienced before. Edward was caring and affectionate, whispering sweet words in her ear and lovingly caressing her skin. With James, she'd felt like an object, like she was only there for his pleasure. She remembered the times when she would lie there, waiting for it to be over.

Bella slid her arms around Edward's waist, her fingers grasping at the damp flesh of his lower back. She met him thrust for thrust, her hips moving in sync with his as the sounds of their heaving breaths filled the room. Edward continued to thrust into her, his movements coming faster, harder. She shoved back and wrapped her legs around him, pushing him deeper.

When her orgasm came, she dug her nails into his skin, arching her back, her hips moving erratically. Edward continued pumping in and out and she struggled to keep up as he moved faster and faster. Finally, he squeezed his eyes shut and grunted loudly as he came, collapsing on top of her once his orgasm was over.

They lay there for several moments, still connected. Bella smiled as she felt Edward's lips against her neck. She ran her hands up and down his back, kneading and rubbing the skin where her fingers had left tiny indentations. Edward finally rose up, pushing Bella's hair away from her sweaty forehead, and smiling down at her. She smiled wider and wrapped her arms around him, feeling happy and light.

Completely spent and covered in a thin layer of sweat, Edward rolled away from Bella and headed into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. While he was gone, Bella stood and pulled down the blankets and sheets. She picked up Edward's discarded shirt and put it on, suddenly feeling shy about her nudity. Before she could get it buttoned, however, she felt Edward standing behind her.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her behind her ear before sliding the shirt from her shoulders. Edward took her hand and led her back to bed, molding his body hers as they settled beneath the blankets.

~ O ~

Bella woke just before dawn, as the sun's rays were barely visible, rising from behind the mountains. Edward's chest was flush against her back, his arms wrapped loosely around her. She could feel his erection poking her from behind. Turning is his arms, Bella trailed her hands down Edward's chest, scratching his stomach just below his belly button.

Edward opened his eyes and buried his face in Bella's neck, his arm sliding down her body and resting on her thigh. Slowly, she moved her hands lower, wrapping her hand around his cock, slowly sliding up and down. Edward moaned her name, kissing and sucking on her neck.

Kisses and touches led to more. Edward placed his hand behind Bella's knee, pulling her leg across his thigh. And when he slid inside her again, she knew this was a feeling she'd never grow tired of experiencing.

~ O ~

The drive back into Forks passed quickly. Bella and Edward held hands for most of the drive, enjoying the new connection between them. Though Bella had enjoyed the small break from real life, she was anxious to return to her son.

When they pulled into Charlie's driveway, Bella moved from the car quickly, leaving Edward to handle her bags. She rushed into the house to find Charlie and Sue in the living room, Ben in the middle of his nap in the nursery. Bella stood next to Ben's crib, tracing his eyebrows, his nose, and the shell of his ear. She smoothed down his hair and stroked his cheek with tender care.

As if he knew his mother was nearby, Ben slowly woke up, staring back at Bella with big, brown eyes. She smiled as she lifted him from his crib, moving to sit in the rocking chair in the corner. Bella rocked him and kissed his cheeks, inhaling his sweet baby smell.

Edward entered the room a few minutes later, kissing both Bella and Ben on the forehead. Bella smiled as Edward settled down in the floor beside her, seeming to miss Ben almost as much as she had. Edward reached out to grab her hand and she knew that no matter what happened, he wouldn't allow anyone to take her baby away.

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**A/N: **Thanks to everyone for all the reviews, tweets, and all around awesomeness. I will try to get teasers out more quickly this time. Until next week!


	28. Time Keeps Flowing Like a River

Thanks to shoefreak37 for holding my hand and making me write, even when I couldn't seem to get more than two sentences out without banging my head against the desk, to famouslyso for prereading, and to lislar for being awesome, even though I never get chapters finished in time for her to beta.

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**Chapter 28: Time (Keeps Flowing Like a River)**

Bella kicked off her shoes and dropped her backpack down by the door, the exhaustion of the day finally settling in. Her shoulders were slumped as she moved into the kitchen and grabbed an apple from the table; it was nearly ten at night and all she'd had time to eat was a bag of chips she'd gotten from a vending machine on campus and a grilled cheese sandwich she'd hastily crammed down at the diner.

She assumed that the house would be silent, with everyone already asleep, but she was shocked to find Sue sitting in the living room. The television was on, with a rerun of _Everybody Loves Raymond_ playing softly in the background. Bella slumped down on the couch beside Sue, continuing to munch on her apple.

"There are some leftovers from dinner that I can heat up for you, if you want," Sue said.

Bella shook her head as she continued to chew. Though she was definitely hungry, she knew better than to eat a big meal before going to bed. Her day had been long and exhausting, with classes in the morning and work in the afternoon. All she really wanted to do was collapse into her bed.

Returning to Forks after her time away with Edward, things began to change for Bella. A new year brought forth new responsibilities, making her life more hectic than ever. In addition to working at the diner and caring for Ben, classes had begun at Peninsula College in Port Angeles. She'd enrolled in an Associate degree program, a track that would help her to fulfill general degree requirements and move on to a Bachelor's degree program in the future, if she chose do to so.

The program was offered online, but Bella really wanted to experience what college life was like. She didn't have the opportunity to live in the dorms on campus, but she still wanted to be able to sit in a classroom with other students, to listen to lectures, and grab lunches in the dining hall. Even though she yearned for those experiences, Bella also didn't want to spend too much time away from Ben—and Edward. In the end, she decided to only take a few classes on campus, cramming those hours into two days a week. The rest would be online, which also allowed her to keep her job.

"Are you okay?" Sue asked, noticing the way Bella's shoulders sagged, the dark circles beneath her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired. I had a long day. Did Edward stop by?"

Sue nodded her head. "He came by after dinner and stayed for about an hour. Ben was happy to see him."

"I'd be happy to see him, too," Bella said, annoyance clear in her voice.

"I thought he'd stop by the diner."

"He did," Bella continued, "but we were so busy and I barely even got to speak to him. We haven't seen each other for more than few minutes in almost a week. It's just frustrating."

"You could have gone over there after work tonight. Ben would have been fine here."

"I know. I just hate leaving him overnight."

After leaving Ben with Charlie and Sue for those two nights away, Bella had decided she didn't want to ever be away from him overnight, if possible, even if she was just across town. She knew she was probably being overprotective, but she preferred to be with Ben, especially with the threat of Renee still looming.

The lawyer Charlie has spoken to assured them that even though Renee could technically file for visitation rights, the odds of her being granted those visits would be slim. She had sent Bella away when she became pregnant and made no attempts at contact until almost six months after Ben was born. It was obvious her motivation came from a place besides missing her only grandchild. Aside from that, her petition would have to be filed in Washington, where Bella and Ben resided. Bella couldn't imagine Renee traveling cross country just for that. Though this was good news, Bella still found herself worrying, wondering what Renee would come up with next.

Bella had also been relieved by the news that James and his family had no rights to Ben, despite Renee's claims to the contrary. When James signed the paperwork to terminate his rights, he'd also terminated the rights of his family. Essentially, Ben had no father. There were laws in place about presumed fatherhood, in which someone acting as a father figure could be legally recognized. Edward immediately sprang to her mind when this was mentioned, but she didn't want to force him into that role.

"Is Charlie in bed?"

"Yes, he worked a long shift today and he has to go back in early tomorrow. You could have stayed with Edward and escaped his wrath," Sue said, her smile betraying her words.

Bella simply rolled her eyes and huffed.

Though Charlie hadn't said anything about her nights with Edward since that first awkward conversation between them, he expressed his displeasure in other ways. Bella couldn't escape the gruff looks and loud grumbles that would emanate from him when she would come tumbling in the morning after. More often than not, she found herself lingering around Edward's in the mornings, hanging out at his place long after he'd gone in to work. It was easier to avoid Charlie that way.

Bella chewed on her lip as she considered her words. "Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I didn't live here."

"You want to move out?"

She'd entertained the idea of living on her own, but the notion had been quickly dismissed once Bella had looked at rental prices. Even the tiniest apartment cost as much as or more than she made at the diner in a month. She was sure Rosalie would allow her to pick up a couple of extra shifts, but that would leave her less time with Ben and less time to do homework. There was just no way she could pay for a place to live and still have money left over for things both she and Ben needed.

"I don't know. I just feel sort of stuck here, like I'm in this weird in-between. Charlie knows I'm an adult, but I think it's hard for him to see me that way when I'm still living under his roof, still depending on him for things.

"It doesn't matter anyway, though. There's no way I could afford an apartment."

"How do you feel about La Push?" Bella furrowed her brow and turned to look at Sue. "I kept my house after I moved in with Charlie. Seth lives there, but he's not around most of the time, and there would be plenty of room for you and Ben, if you don't mind a roommate."

"Do you think…I mean, would he _mind_? I don't think most guys my age would want a woman with a baby crashing their bachelor pad."

"I don't think he would mind at all, but I'll talk to him and let you know. You don't have to make any decisions now. I hope you don't think I'm trying to kick you out!"

"You're just trying to get rid of me before the wedding," Bella said with a giggle. "I'm not sure I want to be around for the honeymoon phase anyway."

~ O ~

Seth quickly and readily agreed for Bella and Ben to move in. The arrangement would be beneficial for both of them, as they were both taking classes in Port Angeles. Bella liked the idea of carpooling, which they began immediately, but she was still hesitant about moving. The idea of a place of her own was enticing—where she could stay out as late as she wanted or not come home at all, where Edward could spend the night, and where she could essentially do whatever she wanted—but she worried that she'd miss the comfort and security of her father's house.

And even though Seth had told her over and over he would be excited to have a roommate, Bella was still hesitant about whether the ideal would live up to the reality. It wasn't that she thought that she and Seth wouldn't get along living together, especially given that he spent many nights at his girlfriend's apartment, but more that she worried about how Seth would adjust to having Ben around.

Ben was quite attached to Seth already, as Seth dropped by most weekends to have dinner at Charlie's and would spend time after dinner playing with the baby. But spending a few hours a week with an infant was much different than living with one. Bella worried that Seth would be annoyed to hear a baby crying in the middle of the night, or wouldn't deal well with the days when Ben was just cranky, fussing and whining for no reason at all.

To alleviate Bella's fears, Seth suggested that she consider spending a few weekends at the house with him, as a sort of trial run. Bella felt a little more comfortable after doing so, but didn't finally decide to make the move until spring break. With a week off from classes, she also decided to take a week off from work as well, giving her plenty of time to adjust and get settled.

~ O ~

Bella wiped the sweat from her forehead as she loaded the last of her boxes into the back of Edward's truck, closing the tailgate with a resounding thud. Her t-shirt was stained with dirt and dust, her hair escaping from her ponytail and sticking to her face. With one last look at the white clapboard house where she'd lived since moving back to Forks, Bella hoisted herself into the driver's seat and headed across town, towards La Push.

Pulling into the gravel driveway of the little red house that belonged to Sue, she was surprised to see her car in the driveway. She'd switched with Edward for the day so that she could move her furniture. He'd taken the morning off of work to help her and Seth move the bigger items, but hadn't been able to help for the entire day. Bella had made the last trip on her own because she only had clothes and lighter items to move. Charlie had helped her load them in the truck.

Ben was sitting in Edward's lap, curled up and napping against his chest as Edward rocked him in one of the old, weather-worn chairs. Bella smiled at the sight of them together. Seth was sprawled out on the porch swing with a beer in his hand, relaxing after all of the hard work they'd put in throughout the day.

Walking up to the porch, Bella sat down on the arm of Edward's chair and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, resting her cheek against the top of his head.

"Tired?" Edward asked.

"Yes. I think that muscles I didn't even know I had are aching. And I'm dirty and stinky."

"Why don't you put Ben in bed and take a shower? Seth and I can finish carrying everything in." Though Bella hated to leave them with the rest of the boxes, knowing they'd moved all the heavy things and then arranged them in her room, the idea sounded perfect. Kissing Edward on the cheek, Bella plucked the still sleeping Ben from his lap and headed into the house.

Sue's house was larger than it appeared, with four bedrooms and a good-sized kitchen that opened into the living space. On one end of the house was the master bedroom, which had its own bathroom, and a small bedroom that was more suited to being an office. Since Seth was already occupying the master, Bella has claimed the two medium-sized bedrooms on the other end of the house for herself and Ben. There was a small bathroom with only a shower in the hall.

When she walked towards those bedrooms, however, Bella was surprised to see that none of her things were in either room; Ben's stuff wasn't there either. Seth's stuff was piled up in one of the bedrooms and Bella quickly became suspicious. Moving to the other end of the house, she found that Ben's nursery had been set up in the smaller room and her boxes were stacked neatly in the master.

After placing Ben in his bed and grabbing the baby monitor, Bella headed back into the living room, where she could hear Seth and Edward laughing loudly.

"Seth, why is my stuff in the master?" Though Bella appreciated the gesture, she felt like he deserved the room. He had already been living in it and the house belonged to his mother. She didn't want it to seem like she was moving in and taking over.

"Because I gave it to you." Before Bella could object, Seth continued, his words spilling quickly from his lips. "Look, you've got Ben and work and school. I thought you'd like the bigger room to relax in. Plus, the master has that huge fucking bathtub that I never use. Hell, I'm hardly even here. You know I stay at Kim's most of the time. Just say thank you and take the room."

"Are you sure? I just—"

"Bella!" Seth whined, drawing out her name.

"Thank you, Seth," she finally said, stepping forward to give him a hug.

~ O ~

Since Seth had mentioned the oversized bathtub, Bella decided to take advantage of it. She couldn't find any bubble bath in her things, so she squirted some of Ben's baby shampoo into the water as the tub filled. She felt her muscles loosen almost immediately as she slid down into the steamy water. Closing her eyes, Bella allowed herself to relax for the first time in days.

Bella wasn't sure how much time had passed before she heard a soft rapping against the bathroom door. Startled, she was unable to respond before she saw Edward slowly peeking his head inside. He smiled at her before easing into the room, closing the door behind him. Though the mixture of water and bubbles kept her body covered, Bella could still feel the heat from Edward's gaze.

"What are you doing?" she asked in alarm as Edward removed his socks and began to unbutton his shirt.

"Well, I thought I'd join you in the tub, but if you don't want me to…"

"No, I mean, it's not—I—Seth is still here!" Bella felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment as she considered that Seth would know exactly what they were doing in the bathroom, or even worse, that he might hear them.

"Seth went to pick up Kim and grab some pizza for dinner. He'll be gone for at least an hour."

Bella averted her eyes as Edward continued to undress. Though she'd seen him naked numerous times, it felt odd to just sit there and watch him take his clothes off. That didn't stop her, however, from sneaking a few brief glances out of the corner of her eye. She slid forward as she felt Edward's hand on her shoulder, urging her to allow him to slide in behind her.

As Edward sank into the water, he moved her hair away from her shoulder and kissed her neck. Bella relaxed, allowing herself to lean back into his chest. His hands moved to her shoulders, gently kneading the tense muscles. Bella closed her eyes and moaned, enjoying feeling his warm hands on her wet skin. She felt Edward's hands move down her spine, and then slide around her waist. When his thumbs brushed the underside of her breasts, she turned her head to kiss him, feeling want and need churning deep within her stomach.

~ O ~

Time began to pass more quickly as spring started to give way to summer. Bella and Edward developed an easy routine, allowing them to spend more time with one another. More often than not they spent their nights together, either in La Push or at Edward's house.

On Sundays they had a brunch with the Cullens. Though Alice wasn't always there, Bella was happy that she accompanied Jasper some days. The strain in their relationship was still evident, but Bella could also see that they were working hard to try and mend the rift between them.

Sunday nights were spent having dinner with Charlie and Sue. Bella still saw them most days because Sue continued to babysit Ben, but things were often so hectic that she was merely running in and out their door to drop him off. It was nice to have some time to discuss her week with them, to help Sue plan the upcoming wedding, and to let Charlie see that he had nothing to worry about with her no longer living in his home.

Charlie had been less than enthusiastic when Bella moved out, even if he agreed that she needed her own space, a place were she could feel more independent. He felt like she had just moved in with him and now she was leaving again, even if it was only to move a few minutes away. Bella was almost certain Sue had talked him down, something she was very skilled at when he was in one of his moods.

Bella's relationship with Edward continued to grow stronger. Though they had their fair share of disagreements and miscommunications that all couples went through, they were able to overcome them and become closer.

~ O ~

In May, a month before Ben's first birthday, which Bella was extremely excited about, a knock on the door interrupted Bella and Edward's evening. Edward's birthday was also just around the corner, though he was less enthusiastic about turning thirty. It was not uncommon for one of Seth's friends to show up unannounced, even though Seth spent most of his time at his girlfriend's house.

Edward was sitting on the floor with Ben, trying to coax him to say his first word, repeating "_ma ma_" over and over. Ben had yet to speak any real words, content to convey his messages through a series of grunts, groans, and babbles. Bella was laughing at Ben as she rose from the floor and stumbled to the door.

Bella was still looking back towards her son when she swung the door open. When she finally turned, she gasped, meeting a familiar pair of eyes. Standing on the other side was the one person Bella never thought she'd see again.

* * *

**A/N: **So sorry for the delay with the chapter update and teasers. Hopefully I've kicked my writer's block. Also, sorry that review replies were so generic this time. I usually try to reply to each person and answer questions, but that just wasn't in the cards for this week.

Shoefreak37 and I have started a fic rec blog and we'd love for you to check us out. Recs are posted throughout the week, plus lots of silliness, usually involving Mike Newton and hot dogs. newtonsoutficcers(dot)com.

And a couple of recs:

Shoefreak37 has started posting a beautiful new AU Carlisle/Edward story, Aberration, which is too good to be missed. It's only 3 chapters in and I'm already addicted.

Also, I found a Charlie piece that was short and absolutely lovely. And it only had 4 reviews! Check it out and leave a review. Coloring Books and Coffee Beans by Mackenzie L.

Both can be found in my favorites. See you next week!


	29. My Poor Heart Aches

Shoefreak37 is lovely and I adore her.

The events in this chapter take place _before_ the knock on the door.

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**Chapter 29: My Poor Heart Aches**

James didn't bother with a suitcase. Instead, he stuffed his essentials into a small carry-on, reasoning that he could buy whatever he'd forgotten once he reached his destination. The flight to Seattle was long and he wished that he could sleep, but he was too anxious, too nervous to relax. He calmed a little when the plane finally touched down, hoping that the drive he had in front of him would be soothing.

He rented a small, non-descript sedan, wagering that people in the small town where he was headed didn't drive flashy convertibles or expensive imports. James imagined that Forks was a bit of a backwoods town, with men in old Jeeps and rusty pick-ups. He'd never been to this part of the country, but he was already dismayed by the rain and the gloom, the constant cover of green. He had barely arrived and he already missed the warm sunshine and bright, blue skies of home.

James didn't have a plan, didn't have any notion about what he would say to Bella when he found her. Would he even be able to find her? Though he had the resources to locate her, he'd never put them to use. He felt those actions would be too intrusive, something his mother and father would do. And even though he'd made mistakes—huge mistakes—he was still trying to keep himself from becoming like them.

Instead, he'd remembered the fond way Bella had spoken of her father, of summer visits to a rainy little town in Washington. She'd talked about days spent fishing in her father's tiny boat, of afternoons spent at the beach, and evenings spent around a bonfire, listening to legends of the local Quileute tribe. He remembered her stories about playing cops and robbers with her dad, about how he would flash his police siren and let her ride in the back, behind the partition; on the days when she was the good guy, she'd ride beside him in the front seat, talking to the dispatcher over his police radio while wearing his jacket and badge.

And so that was the place he knew he had to go.

After what seemed like many hours behind the wheel, James finally spotted the welcome sign, letting him know he'd reached his destination. Driving through the small town's streets, he tried to imagine Bella living there. With each landmark he passed, he envisioned Bella—Bella and his son. Did she spend time at the park? Maybe have a part-time job at Newton's Outfitters? Or eat her meals at Pacific Pizza?

The sex of the baby was the only thing James had learned throughout the process of signing his rights away, the only thing he'd wanted to know. He was sure the baby's name was on the paperwork somewhere, but he hadn't wanted that detail, assuming it would be too hard to let go of the baby—and Bella—if he knew the child's name. All he knew was that it was a boy, that he had a son out there somewhere.

The sun was quickly fading beneath the horizon, so James decided to wait until morning to begin his search. Pulling into the Pacific Inn Motel, he quickly grabbed his bag from the trunk and went inside to get a room. He paid with cash and gave a fake name, thankful that the clerk, a sweet old woman with frizzy gray hair, hadn't asked to see id. He smiled and made small talk, claiming that he was in the area to hike and surf. The old woman shoved some brochures into his hands about the area and wished him luck on his trip. Little did she know how much he would need it.

~ O ~

James spent most of the night awake, staring blankly at the walls, the ceiling. He'd turned the television on, but found the late night infomercials to be annoying rather than helping him relax into slumber. Finally, just before dawn, he'd fallen asleep, only to be awoken a few hours later by his cell phone alarm. After a quick shower, he grabbed a cup of coffee and a doughnut from the lobby, intent on beginning his search.

There wasn't much to the small town and he was sure he'd be able to locate Bella's father's house with ease. He drove around for most of the day, his eyes scanning his surroundings for the woman he sought. Every flash of brown hair caused him to pause, but none of them belonged to Bella. He stopped at the local Thriftway and grabbed some snacks, soda, and food that he could eat in his motel room—sandwich meat, bread, and a bunch of microwaveable meals that would probably taste horrible.

Though he wanted to see Bella, he wanted it to be on his terms. He didn't want to accidentally run into her somewhere in town, like at the gas station or the local diner. He wanted somewhere that she couldn't run away, where he could force her to listen to him. James had traveled a long way and he wanted the opportunity to talk to her—and to see his son.

As afternoon turned into evening, James found himself sitting in his car across the street from the police station. He was thankful that the windows in his rental were tinted, hoping that no one noticed him just waiting there. His patience was rewarded when a police officer finally exited the building and got into his car. James wasn't close enough to see his features, but the man looked old enough to be Bella's father and they had the same dark brown hair.

Following the man into the residential area of town, James made sure to keep some distance between him and the cruiser. He didn't want his arrival announced by being pulled over by Bella's father. If that happened, he doubted he'd even get the chance to speak with her. He resisted the urge to slow down as he passed the driveway where the police officer had parked, watching the man grab his things and exit his car. The white house looked much like the one Bella had described. James' eyes zeroed in on the tree in the front yard, the one Bella said had been outside her bedroom window, the one she broke her arm climbing when she was eight.

Circling back around, he parked just down the street, where he could still see that bedroom window near the tree. He wondered if Bella was inside; if he waited long enough, would he glimpse of her? James sat there for several hours, waiting patiently, but the lights in the bedroom never came on. He could see movement in the house—Bella's father and a woman, her shape illuminated by the windows, in contrast to the blackness all around. James could tell she was older, taller and more rounded than Bella had ever been. Disheartened, he started his car and headed back to the motel.

James began to wonder if he'd made a mistake, if Bella was even in this town. He knew she had no other family and with a baby to support, where else could she have gone? Of course, he also knew that his parents had given Renee money. Maybe she'd taken that and used it to start a new life. He could imagine Bella living in a little house somewhere near the beach. She was always smart, so she would be taking classes at a nearby college, maybe working a part-time job. James hoped that wherever she was, she was happy…but that didn't mean he would stop searching.

~ O ~

After another restless night and another day of fruitless searching, James was beginning to lose hope. His once rational thoughts were becoming overwhelmed by insane ideas and foolish plans. He grew bolder in his hunt, stopping at the local gas station and loitering in Newton's Outfitters. He bought lunch at Pacific Pizza and sat in the park for hours, on a bench beneath the shade of an old oak tree. Watching the children playing around him, laughing and yelling, he thought about his own son.

James didn't even know what Bella had named the baby. Did she name him after her father? Or a character from one of her favorite novels? That thought brought a smile to his face as he hoped there wasn't a little Heathcliff running around, destined to be the target of school bullies once he was older. Would their son be walking now? Talking? Did he have James' blue eyes? Bella's brown hair?

Anger and guilt consumed James as he sat there, his head in his hands. He'd been so young and naïve, not truly understanding what he was giving up when he'd followed his parent's wishes and signed his rights to the baby away. He thought he was doing the right thing, making the best choice, but now he wasn't so sure. That last night he'd seen Bella—the night he found out she was pregnant—she'd looked so broken, alone and scared. He was the one that had done that to her, that had put that look on her face.

James would never forget when she'd finally looked at him. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, her face puffy and red. He could see the terror in her eyes, the silent plea for him to stay with her, to help her find her way through the mess. But he hadn't done that. Instead, like the coward that he was, he'd turned away and left her there with his parents and her mother.

His mother had assured him that they'd given her money, that they would see that she had what she needed until the baby was born. James knew not to trust his mother, but in that moment, he felt like a child. He didn't know what to do, how to proceed, so he'd taken comfort in her words, sure that even if he couldn't be in his child's life, it would be provided for. But now the guilt and regret of those actions threatened to consume him. _He had to find Bella._

James jumped into his car and drove, pulling into the parking lot of Rosie's diner. It seemed to be the busiest place in town, where the most people were congregated. He foolishly imagined sitting down at a table, ordering his dinner, and then casually mentioning to the waitress that he was there to see Bella Swan. Maybe he'd say that they were friends from when she lived in Florida with her mother, that he was in the area camping and thought he'd look her up. That wasn't completely a lie. James imagined the waitress smiling at him and then telling him exactly where Bella lived. People in small towns weren't known for being suspicious.

With his mind made up, he took one last look inside the diner—and every plan he'd made turned to dust. Standing next to one of the tables by the window was Bella, wearing a waitress uniform and taking a customer's order. James couldn't pull his eyes away. He watched her as she smiled at customers, laughing at whatever some old man near the counter had said to her. She was more beautiful than he remembered, less timid and more at ease with herself.

He sat there for hours, just watching, completely oblivious to everything around him. When twilight descended, he watching her untie her apron and pull off her hat, shrugging on a jacket and letting her hair fall from the bun she'd had it secured in. Long locks of tousled brown hair whipped in the wind as she jogged to her car, trying to escape the approaching storm.

When she drove away, he followed, trailing her back to the house he'd been sure was her father's. He parked across the street and waited, noticing that she'd left her car running. Bella emerged from the house minutes later, carrying a suspicious looking bump on her hip, the tiny person shielded from the misty rain by a large blanket. His son was there, so close to him and yet so far away. Knowing this might be his only chance, James placed his hand on the door, but he couldn't find the courage to open it.

Fear paralyzed him. The thing he wanted most was standing there right in front of him and he couldn't move. He continued to sit there as he watched her drive away, until the taillights of her car were no longer visible as she sped down the rain-soaked street.

~ O ~

The next day he parked outside of Bella's father's house bright and early, promising himself that he wouldn't miss another chance to confront her. He sat there for a couple of hours, but her car never pulled in. He was thankful that the police cruiser was gone when he pulled in, not wanting to draw suspicion. James was sure a police officer would notice the same car repeatedly parked outside of his house, a strange car with rental tags.

He sat there until a woman exited the house—probably the one he'd seen through the window. She too climbed into her car and drove away. James had to sudden urge to snoop, wondering how much time he'd have before someone returned. The house was at the end of the street, with tall shrubbery and trees around. He was sure no one would see him.

Without giving himself time to chicken out, he jumped out of his car and approached the front door. He stood there for a moment and feigned a knock, his eyes darting to see if there was anyone else around. Quickly, he slipped around the side of the house and peered into the windows, the open curtains making it easy to see inside.

The house was small and neat, with a homey, lived-in feel. The kitchen was yellow and sunny, with drying dishes stacked in the drainer and a freshly-baked cake sitting on the table. There were pictures on the refrigerator, held there by brightly-colored magnets, but he couldn't get a good look at them from his vantage point.

Moving around to the other side of the house, he stopped outside of a tiny window, his hand immediately pressing against the glass. A crib was pushed against the wall, blocks and toys haphazardly strewn across a play mat on the floor. And there, on the wall, in wooden block letters was a name: Benjamin. He rolled the name around in his head, wondering what the little boy that the name belonged to looked like. All James could imagine was a miniature version of himself—a skinny baby with white blonde hair and bright, blue eyes. Or maybe he had dark hair and eyes like his mother. James wished he could have gotten a better look at the pictures through the kitchen window.

~ O ~

After standing at that window for far too long, trying to soak in every detail, James finally retreated back to his car, speeding towards the diner. Just like the day before, he sat in his car and watched. His shock had abated a bit and he was able to pay more attention to Bella, to take in the finer details.

Bella looked older, with the fullness gone from her cheeks. She was still slim, but he could see that her hips were wider, that she'd grown into her figure. The most glaring difference was that her shy, shrinking girl he'd once known was nowhere to be found. Bella looked calm and sure, walking with her head up and her shoulders square. When they were together, she was always slumping and staring at her shoes, as if she wished the sidewalk would open up and swallow her whole.

James bristled when a car that looked a lot the one he'd seen Bella driving pulled in beside of his. He slumped in his seat and pretended to dial on his cell phone as he watched the man from the corner of his eye. The man got out of the car and then moved to the back seat. James held his breath as the man emerged, holding a chubby little boy with brown hair and eyes in his arms. _Benjamin_. He didn't need confirmation from anyone to know he was that baby's father.

Moving to look back inside the diner window, he couldn't miss the huge smile on Bella's face, the way her entire demeanor seemed to brighten. He watched as she approached the man—her boyfriend?—and _his_ son. James couldn't tear his eyes away as he watched Bella kiss Benjamin's cheeks and tickle his belly. But when she confidently pushed up on her toes to kiss the man on the lips, James felt like he'd been punched in the stomach.

In all of his fantasies involving his reunion with Bella, he'd never even stopped to consider that there might be someone else, that she might have moved on. He'd been too blinded by his idea of a perfect little family, of Bella's forgiveness, of her accepting him with open arms. Watching her with this man, however, it was clear that he meant something to her, that their relationship was solid. After all, she'd entrusted him with the care of her son, and the smile she'd given him, the ease with which she moved around him, made it apparent that she was in love.

Though he knew he had no right to be angry—he'd been the one to give her away—James still felt the pangs of jealousy deep within his gut. It no longer felt like just a punch, but as if he'd been stabbed and now the culprit was twisting the knife. Even worse than watching the way Bella and the man interacted was watching the way the man interacted with Benjamin.

James watched as Bella continued to work, pouring coffee and delivering plates of food. The man settled into a booth by the window, placing the baby in a high chair. James looked on with rapt attention as the man fed Benjamin a small dish of food, patiently wiping his face between bites. He moved the spoon around like an airplane, smiling as the baby laughed and clapped his hands.

_That should have been me_, James thought. He should have been the one that Bella greeted with a kiss and a smile, the one that should have been caring for their son. If they were together, she wouldn't have had to work at this grubby diner at all. James had money. They could have gone to college together, hired a nanny to take care of the baby while they were in class. This wasn't the life Bella was meant to have, slaving for tips in some dingy, backwater town.

Gravel sprayed beneath the tires as James pulled out of the diner's lot. He drove around the city streets, circling, trying to make sense of all of the new information he'd just been given. His hands gripped the steering wheel painfully, his knuckles white from the strain. He was angry at himself, unjustifiably angry at Bella and her boyfriend, but he hated his mother in that moment, more than he'd ever imagined possible.

James tried to bottle up the annoyance and frustration that seemed to practically be oozing from his pores, causing him to vibrate in his seat. Tears pricked his eyes and he swatted at them angrily, embarrassed and ashamed of his uncontrollable emotions. Pulling into his motel, he ran from his car, his fingers shaking as he tried to unlock the door. It took several tries before he finally wrenched it open, kicking off in shoes in a rage and flinging himself onto the bed.

The cheap, lumpy pillow on his bed made an excellent punching bag and he wound his fist back over and over. Sweat mingled with the tears he no longer tried to stop and he continued to assault the pillow until exhaustion overtook him. His chest heaved as his ragged breaths filled the air. James started at the ceiling, and just like Bella used to do, he wished the floor would open up and end his misery.

~ O ~

He didn't leave the room for two days. He didn't even leave the bed. At some point he'd stripped down to his boxers, but he didn't bother with dressing or taking a shower or even eating. The hunger pains in his stomach were a welcome distraction from the painful wound in his chest.

The images of Bella, Benjamin, and that man were burned into his brain. They looked like a happy little family, like they were meant to go together. To an outsider, that man looked and acted just like a father; no one would suspect that Benjamin belonged to someone else. Those thoughts gutted James because he finally realized the repercussions of what he'd done: Benjamin didn't belong to him either.

He struggled with his urges, the back and forth between staying and running away. Part of him wanted to jump in his car and drive back to Seattle, to get on a plane for home and try to wash the dreary town from his mind. But there still part of him that wanted his chance—to talk, to explain, to ask for forgiveness.

With weary eyes and a weary heart, he was finally able to extricate himself from his motel room on the third day. Once again, he found himself at the diner, watching Bella through the window. But this time, when her car pulled away and drove down the highway, James followed her. She wasn't in her car this time, instead driving a vintage truck, one that James was sure belonged to her boyfriend.

Following her away from Forks and into a neighboring town, James was sure to keep his distance when she pulled into the driveway of a little red house. He watched as she grabbed a bag from the seat and stumbled her way into the house. James parked his car across the street and kept his eyes glued to the windows, but there were trees and shrubbery close the house and the curtains were drawn; he couldn't see what was going on inside.

Shortly after the sun had set and darkness began to descend, James had made up his mind. Moving calmly and with determination in his step, he ascended the steps and walked up to the door, knocking loudly on the pristine, white wood. He stood there patiently, fighting the urge to fidget, just waiting. And when the door finally swung open, Bella stood before him, her eyes wide and her skin ashen.

* * *

**A/N:** The next chapter will post in a few days. I'm not going to leave you guys hanging for a whole week. :)


	30. Somehow We're Always Waiting

Thanks to shoefreak37 for muddling through my ridiculous typos and making my story better, even if she does leave gross comments about how much she loves James.

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**Chapter 30: ****Somehow We're Always Waiting**

_She was still looking back towards her son when she swung the door open. When Bella finally turned, she gasped, meeting a familiar pair of eyes. Standing on the other side was the one person she never thought she'd see again._

Bella felt her knees buckle as she looked at the man standing before her. A knot formed in her stomach and her hands began to shake. James looked so different from the blue-eyed boy of her past. His blond hair seemed darker, longer and shaggy. His once tanned skin was pale and washed out. And the bright blue eyes she'd loved were dull and sad, looking almost gray, likely from the dark, bruised skin beneath his eyes. He looked dejected and somber, and for a moment, Bella almost felt sorry for him.

But then the realization of the moment hit her: James was standing on her doorstep. Her instincts kicked in and she wanted to flee, to load Ben up in her car and drive away. She had to protect her son. Bella heard Edward call her name and she turned to look at him as he rose from the floor, leaning over to pick up Ben, concern evident in his eyes. When he began to move towards the door with Ben in his arms, Bella stuck out her arm in a clear message for him to stop.

"Please, just—just take him and put him in his crib and then come back," she said with a quivering voice. She saw Edward hesitate for one moment, then take another step towards her. "Please," she said again, moving into the empty space of the open door, trying to shield her son from James' view.

Bella could see the questions in Edward's eyes, the torn expression on his face, but he finally relented, carrying Ben down the hall. When he was out of sight, she turned back towards James.

"You need to leave. You have no reason to be here." Bella tried to square her shoulders, to look confident, but she could feel the tears welling in her eyes, the fear and uncertainty weighing heavily on her petite frame.

"Bella, if you'll just let me explain. I need—"

"I don't care what you need. Please leave."

A torrent of tears streamed down her cheeks and James could see her falling apart. Instinctively, he reached out to take her hand, hoping to soothe her, to persuade her to listen to what he had to say. But as soon as his fingers touched hers, she recoiled, her eyes widening in fear.

"Bella—"

"D-don't touch me," she said, wrapping her arms around her torso.

Edward appeared at that moment, his arm curling around Bella's waist. She turned and pressed herself into his side, burying her face in his chest. Looking at the man standing on the other side of the door, Edward knew that this was Ben's father. There was no other person short of her own mother that could cause this sort of reaction in Bella.

"I think you should go," Edward said, his tone calm and sure, leaving no room for argument.

"I'll be back, Bella," James said as he turned and walked away, defeat evident in his sagging shoulders.

After closing and locking the door, Edward scooped Bella up into his arms and carried her down the hallway and into the bedroom. She clung to him as he lowered her into the bed, climbing in beside her. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back as she continued to cry, promising her that everything would be okay. When she finally looked up at him, her eyes were swollen and her face was puffy.

"Do you think he'll really come back?" she asked, her bottom lip trembling.

Edward wanted to lie to her, to tell her that James wouldn't come anywhere near them ever again, but he knew that wasn't so. Though James had looked crushed when he turned and walked away, there was something in his demeanor that caught Edward's attention. He had the feeling that James was stubborn, that he wouldn't give up until he'd had his chance. Why else would he come all the way to Forks?

"I think he's not going to go away until you listen to what he has to say."

Bella began shaking her head, another round of tearing spilling from her eyes. "I don't—I can't. What if he wants to see Ben? Or tries to take him away?"

"Baby, he signed his rights away. He can't do that. But we're not going to know what he wants unless you talk to him."

Bella didn't want to talk anymore, didn't want to consider facing James again. She wrapped her arm around Edward's waist and pulled herself closer to him. In the months that had passed, she'd convinced herself that the only threat in her life was Renee, that if someone was going to try to cause havoc in her life, it would be her mother. She hadn't thought about James in so long, hadn't taken time to consider that he'd just show up on her doorstep out of the blue.

Though the attorney had assured them multiple times that James would have no legal rights to Ben, Bella still felt uneasy. What if there was some loophole the lawyer wasn't aware of, some way that James could reassert himself as Ben's father?

It amazed her how much things had changed in just a year. When she'd given birth, she'd wanted nothing more than for James to change his mind, to want to be a part of Ben's life. Over time, she'd grown to accept that wasn't going to happen, and with Edward in her life, she didn't want James anywhere near them.

As far as Bella was concerned, Edward was Ben's father; he filled the role in all the ways that mattered. Bella wanted him to be the only father that Ben would ever know, at least until he was old enough to make the decision for himself. She never wanted to lie to her son and Bella knew that when he was old enough to understand, she would explain the situation to him. But he was still a baby and the differences between a dad and a biological father would make no difference to him.

"Will you go get Ben?" Bella asked, wanting her son close by her side. Edward kissed her forehead before pulling away. She could hear him moving throughout the house, checking the locks and turning off lights. Bella took the time to pull off her clothes and slip into one of Edward's t-shirts, sliding her bare legs beneath the blanket.

When Edward returned, he gently placed a sleeping Ben in the middle of the bed. Ben always slept in his crib, but Bella needed him. She wanted to cuddle his chubby little body and smell his powdery baby scent. Edward joined them in the bed moments later, cupping Bella's cheek as he kissed her softly on the lips. He kissed Ben on the forehead before lying down, his arm sliding around Bella's waist as he held them both close.

~ O ~

Bella spent most of the night not sleeping, instead just lying there watching the rise and fall of Ben's chest. She rubbed his belly and kissed his cheeks, his forehead, anything to feel close to her baby. He'd grown so much; it was hard to believe that he was already almost a year old.

Ben woke up shortly after sunrise. Bella pulled on a pair of pajama pants and scooped him up from the bed, heading into the kitchen. She put him in his high chair and dropped some Cheerios on the tray, hoping to keep him occupied while she made breakfast.

The panic and anxiety of the night before had given way to numbness; Bella felt like a walking zombie, just going through the motions. She pushed James from her thoughts, knowing that the only way she would be able to hold herself together was to concentrate on the task at hand, to keep herself busy. She felt so much like that cowering girl she'd been in Florida, weak and unsure.

As she stood near the stove waiting for her pan to heat up, Bella heard keys jingling in the door. Seth came stumbling into the kitchen a few moments later, slumping into one of the bar stools at the counter. Bella turned to give him a small smile and then resumed her cooking, grabbing more bread to coat in milk, egg, and cinnamon; Seth could eat more than her and Edward combined.

"Is Edward here?" Seth asked. Bella didn't turn to face him, just simply nodded her head. "Did you guys get in a fight or something?" he continued, lowering his voice conspiratorially.

"What? No," Bella replied, finally turning to scowl at Seth. "Why would you think that?"

"No offense, sis, but you look like shit."

Bella sighed loudly and turned her head, unable to look Seth in the eyes. "I don't want to talk about it right now." She concentrated on the pieces of French toast that were sizzling away, squeezing her eyes shut to keep more tears from falling.

Edward came in a few moments later, nodding to Seth before turning his attention to Bella, noticing her drooping shoulders. He placed his hand on the small of her back and kissed her temple. Bella immediately slumped against him, resting her head on his chest.

"Here, give me this," he said, pulling the spatula from her hand. "Why don't you go sit down and I'll finish this."

"Edward, why aren't you dressed?" Bella said, finally realizing that he was in sweats and a t-shirt. "You have to be at work in less than an hour."

"I already called my dad. I'm taking a few days off."

"Edward," Bella huffed in annoyance. When she looked in his eyes, however, she lost the will to argue, instead wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest.

"Just until we figure out what's going on, okay?"

"What exactly is going on?" Seth asked, bursting the bubble Edward and Bella had immersed themselves in.

~ O ~

"I think we should go kick his ass," Seth said, stabbing another bite of French toast with his fork. "Who the hell does this guy think he is, just showing up here out of the blue? I'll bet he's got some sort of disease or something."

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked, unable to follow Seth's train of thought.

"You know, he probably needs a kidney or bone marrow. I don't know. Wouldn't his kid be a match for that shit?"

"Possibly," Edward answered. "But Ben's too young. He wouldn't be able to help him out even if he was a match."

Seth felt protective of Bella and Ben and he wanted to find out why James was in Forks. He suggested that he and Edward go pick up Charlie and then drive around town until they found James. There were only a couple of lodging options and he was sure that if Charlie flashed his badge around, they could easily find out where James was staying.

Edward seemed ready to go along with the plan, but Bella was hesitant. "Maybe we should just wait for a few days, see if he tries anything else." When the two men just gaped and stared at her, she continued. "I just think we should take some more time to think about this before we jump into anything."

Both men reluctantly agreed, but Bella didn't trust them. It would be just like them to go behind her back and try to take care of her problems, as they had done with the Renee situation. She was scared to find out why James needed to speak with her, to find out why he's suddenly taken an interest after more than a year.

~ O ~

After two days without further contact from James, Edward reluctantly returned to work, but only after Bella promised that she wouldn't stay alone, especially not at the house in La Push. Edward suggested she take some time off from work, and while she normally would have argued, the fear of leaving Ben caused her to agree. She trusted Sue and knew that she would never allow anything to happen to her son, but if James did show up again, Bella wanted to be there.

While Edward was at work, Bella stayed at Charlie and Sue's with Ben. Edward picked them up in the evenings after his shift at the clinic was over and they returned to his house for the night. Seth and a couple of his friends were staying at the house in La Push, seemingly just waiting for James to appear once more. Bella feared the fight that might ensue if he did.

Charlie hadn't gone so far as to ask around at the local hotels to see if James had a reservation, not wanting to abuse his position in such a way. He had, however, informed his officers of the situation and urged them to let him know if they spotted James. He was annoyed that Bella and Edward hadn't paid attention to the car he drove or written down the license plate number; he would have been easier to spot that way.

At first, Bella was content to sit and wait, but as time began to pass, she started to grow more impatient. Sitting in the front room at Charlie's house, watching the cars pass by, Bella realized that simply waiting wasn't going to work. Things were going to come crashing down around her no matter when she found out and sitting there, just waiting for the wolf at the door, wasn't helping anyone out.

She felt so much like that cowering, scared girl she'd been in Florida. That girl was afraid to stand up for herself, always trying to please others without taking her own thoughts and feelings into account. Bella hadn't been that girl in a long time, but at the first sign of trouble, she'd faded into the background, allowed others to make decisions for her.

Bella sat there for a long time, trying to gather up the courage she knew she had. She loved that Edward wanted to protect her, to shield her from the bad things in her life, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to do. And just like with Renee, she was being sheltered from James while the men in her life tried to figure out what to do.

Sliding on her shoes, Bella grabbed her keys from the bowl near the door and put on her jacket. She took a deep breath and stood tall, hating what she was about to do. Ben was in the middle of his nap and Sue was watching television. It was her perfect opportunity.

"Hey, Sue," Bella said, stepping into the living room. "Would you mind keeping an eye on Ben for a little while?"

"Sure, but where are you going?"

"Just down to the clinic to talk to Edward and I might swing by the diner to check in with Rosalie, ask about coming back to work. I won't be gone long."

"Be careful," Sue called out as Bella was closing the front door.

~ O ~

There were only a few hotels in Forks and Bella was sure that she'd be able to find James. After checking for him at Forks Motel and the Dew Drop Inn, she pulled into the parking lot at the Pacific Inn. Bella smiled as she saw Ms. Cope standing behind counter, restocking visitor's pamphlets. She was one of Bella's favorite customers at the diner.

"Hi, Ms. Cope," Bella said, alerting the woman to her presence.

Ms. Cope turned around quickly, clutching her hand to her chest. "Oh, Bella, dear, you scared me to death," she said with a small chuckle. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm actually looking for a friend of mine that's in town. We used to go to school together when I lived with my mom. Anyway, I ran into him at the diner, but I misplaced the phone number he gave me, so I was trying to track him down."

Bella was amazed by how easily the lie slid from her lips. Her palms were clammy and her stomach was in knots, but she smiled brightly at Ms. Cope, trying to appear calm and serene.

"What's his name, dear?" the older woman said, pulling on her glasses that were attached to the chain around her neck. Bella stepped closer as she opened the guest log, sitting in on the counter where Bella could also take a look.

"Harris. James Harris."

"Hmmm...well, I don't appear have anyone registered by that name." Seeing Bella's shoulders fall and the defeated look on her face, Ms. Cope continued. "There was a young man about your age that came into town last week, blond hair and the prettiest blue eyes. Let me see.

"Oh yes, here it is. The handwriting is hard to read, but it looks like Harris Jameson. Might that be your friend?"

"Yes, that sounds like him."

~ O ~

Bella walked swiftly towards room 208, not giving herself time to change her mind. With one last deep breath, she raised her hand and rapped on the door. She heard a thump and some noises from inside the room before the door flew open, revealing a shocked James.

Wringing her hands, Bella quickly averted her gaze when she realized James was shirtless, wearing only a pair of wrinkled, torn jeans. He moved back and allowed her to enter, plucking a dirty shirt from the floor and sliding it over his head. Bella noticed the disarray inside the room-the clothes and personal items hastily thrown about, the empty pizza boxes, and the discarded soda cans.

Tentatively, Bella sat on the edge of one of the chairs, her back straight and stiff; she couldn't relax, feeling the awkward tension in the air between them.

"I guess you want to know why I'm here," James said, finally breaking the silence between them. Bella nodded her head and waited for him to continue.

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**A/N:** I know. _I know_, but I like to keep the chapters close to the same length and their conversation really needs its own chapter. This story is winding down, so updates will no longer be on Wednesdays. Updates should come more quickly as I finish up. Also, I know that some people have had questions about the custody issues in this fic. I have made a post on my blog about it, if you want to know more. collectedmoments(dot)com

Since _blossom_ is nearly complete, I've started writing a new fic, _Proxy_. It's another AH, ExB story, but very different from this one. I hope you'll check it out. The first chapter is already up. :)


	31. Just Sit Down, Take it Slowly

Shoefreak37 is my own personal cheerleader and I adore her.

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**Chapter 31: Just Sit Down, Take it Slowly**

Bella clasped her hands together and stared at her shoes, feeling her confidence waver. James hesitated and then sat down on the bed, leaving as much space between himself and Bella as he could. He exhaled a loud breath and rested his elbows on his knees, cradling his face in his hands. Although James had been the one to speak first, he found it difficult to continue. The uncomfortable silence continued between them, time dragging along at the speed of a slow crawl.

When her knee began to shake without her permission, Bella smoothed her hands down her thighs, applying just enough pressure to stop the quaking of her body. The silence was making her antsy, more nervous than she had been when she knocked on James' door. She had come to this room for answers and she wasn't going to leave without them.

"Tell me why," Bella finally replied, her voice weak and timid. She awkwardly cleared her throat and then rubbed her fingers across the skin at the base of her neck, trying to ease away the lump that had formed there. There were so many questions she wanted the answers to: why he was here, why he had cast them aside so easily, why he had made no attempt to contact them before.

"I wanted to find you and the baby. I thought…" James paused, the words weighing heavily upon him. There were so many thoughts racing through his head, so many things he wanted to say to her, but he knew he needed to tread lightly. The wrong words would send her away and he would lose his chance—the only chance he might ever get to rectify the mistakes between them.

"I thought about you and the baby every day. I wondered where you were, if you were okay, if _he_ was okay. But I needed time to figure things out, to deal with my parents.

"That night we broke-up, at the party, I didn't want to do that to you, Bella. I wanted to be with you, but my mother…all those bad things that happened to you, she was behind them. And she promised me it would only get worse if I didn't do what she wanted."

Bella blanched at this revelation. She'd always known that the situations she had found herself in after her relationship with James had gotten more serious couldn't have all been coincidence. Bella had blamed them on mean classmates intent on bullying her and making her life at school miserable, or Renee's flighty behavior, but knowing Jane had gone to such lengths made sense.

"I should have talked to you, told you what was going on, but I knew that if you tried to talk me out of breaking up with you, I wouldn't be able to do it. So I had to hurt you, had to make you want me out of your life. It wasn't because I stopped loving you."

Though she wanted to argue that she wouldn't have pleaded for him not to leave her, Bella knew the opposite was true. She had depended upon James so much during that time; he was the only friend she had had. Bella had compromised herself in other ways to keep him in her life; she wouldn't have been above begging.

"I know it's stupid, but I thought that maybe you were waiting for me, that we could be a family."

As much as she hated to admit it, even to herself, there were times in the months that had passed when Bella had thought about James returning. Even though Sue and Charlie had been there for her throughout every step of her pregnancy and Ben's birth, it wasn't the same as having a partner to console her when her hormones were out of control, to tell her she was beautiful when she felt fat, or to reassure her when she feared she'd be a terrible mother.

But more than wanting someone for herself, she'd wanted Ben to have a father. Someone to tuck him in bed at night, to teach him to play baseball in the backyard, and share in his first words, his first steps. Bella didn't want her son to grow up and feel like he was missing out on something, to be deprived of something he should have had.

When she'd gone into labor, she'd thought about James, part of her silently praying that he'd change his mind, that he'd show up. Renee had said he wanted nothing to do with the baby, but Bella had held onto hope. The reality didn't sink in until long after that greasy lawyer had left her hospital room, until after Ben's birth certificate arrived with no name listed under father.

"Why did you wait so long?" she asked, trying to reconcile the events that had occurred from the night he found out she was pregnant until he'd shown up in Forks. His actions in the beginning had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with the baby, yet he was claiming that he did.

"I made a stupid choice—the wrong choice—but I thought I could fix things eventually. I knew we'd need money, but my parents told me they'd take away what I had if I tried to be with you, to find you and the baby. I knew I would get a huge chunk of my trust fund when I turned twenty-one, so I thought if I could just wait...and I thought you'd be okay with the money my parent's gave you until then."

"What money?" Bella asked, confused that James would think his parent's had given her anything. The only money they'd offered was for an abortion and she had refused to take it.

"That night, my parents wrote your mother a check. It was supposed to be money to help you get settled, to take care of you and the baby for a while."

"I didn't get any money," Bella said, knowing exactly where that money had gone. "And I don't think it was to help me with the baby."

Of course Renee, always out to make a quick buck, had used her daughter's unplanned pregnancy to her own advantage. Bella had always known her mother was no good, but this seemed to be a new low even for Renee. That was why she'd been so busy—and happy—in the days after finding out about Bella's pregnancy, and also why she was so quick to send Bella to live with Charlie.

Bella imagined that all of the hustling about and staying occupied during those days was Renee planning how she would spend the amount she'd been given, just waiting for the check to clear. Bella was sure she'd wasted it, probably on a new car or a big vacation with Phil, and she was certain Renee hadn't given her or the baby a second thought. Renee knew Charlie would step up and be the responsible parent that he was.

"It was to make us go away. I wouldn't take the money they offered me to…get rid of the baby, so they made sure I wouldn't be around. Renee took the money and sent me here to live with Charlie."

Realization dawned on James' face and he once again felt like a fool. His parents had manipulated him for so long, forcing him to bend to their will, doing things that were cruel and unforgivable. Yet when his mother had said Bella and the baby would be taken care of, he had believed them. Or maybe he just wanted to believe what he'd known deep down was a lie, wanted to think that Bella was okay even without him.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I thought I was doing the right thing."

Silence hung between them once more and Bella was unsure what to say. She still wanted all those things for Ben, and he would have them. Edward would be there when he skinned his knees, when he had a nightmare, or when he just needed someone to tell him things would be okay.

And Edward would be there for her, too. Though Bella had loved James in her own way, she'd never felt for him the things she felt for Edward. James had felt like a friendly companion, a confidant to spend time with and escape from her everyday life. Edward was all the things she ever wanted and the ones she didn't even know she needed. He made her feel safe and secure, passionate and loved.

"I saw that guy with Benjamin—"

"Ben." Bella cut in. "We call him Ben." She wasn't sure how James knew their son's name, but she supposed he could have seen it on the paperwork that absolved him of his rights.

"Ben. I saw that guy with him, your boyfriend?" When Bella nodded, James continued. "They were meeting you at the diner and the three of you looked like this happy little family. And that's when I knew it was too late."

Bella wanted to question why James was watching, waiting for them outside the diner, but it didn't seem important. He seemed to be resigned, trying to accept that his chance to be a part of her life—and Ben's—was over.

"You love him, right? And he's good to you and the baby?" Having seen them together, James already knew those things were true, but he needed to confirmation, needed to know that Bella and his son would be okay in the future.

"I love him, and he loves both me and Ben. He treats us like we're his family."

"I am sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have come here, not without warning or asking you first. I just thought things would be different. I wanted to see you and the baby. Do you think maybe…" James trailed off, unable to ask her for the one thing he really wanted: a chance to see Ben.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Bella answered, knowing exactly what he wanted. "I'm sorry, but I just can't hurt Edward like that."

Bella knew she could never allow James back into their lives on a permanent basis, could never allow him access to her son anytime he wanted. She knew that seeing Ben just once might provide some sort of closure for him, but Edward didn't deserve to be put in that situation. He'd stepped in and filled that role in Ben's life without question, never once treating Ben like anything less than his own. She just couldn't hurt him that way.

"Do you think you could at least consider it? I could stay in town for a little longer, give you some time to think about it, maybe talk to Edward?"

She could hear the desperation in his voice and for the first time, Bella felt sorry for James. For all the hardships she'd gone through and the things she was still struggling to manage, she at least had close family and friends to help her. And she had her baby. James had no one other than a cold, calculating mother and a father that cared more about his career than his family, bending to the whims of his insane wife.

"Maybe.

"I'm not going to lie to Ben about who he is, but he's too young to understand right now. When he's older, if he wants to look for you, to meet you, I won't stop him from doing that—and neither will Edward."

"Thank you. That's so much more than I'm entitled to."

Exhaling a deep breath, Bella realized that much of the tension in the room had dissipated, that she no longer felt the apprehension and fear that had consumed her when she stepped through the entryway. Knowing there was really nothing left to say, she stood and began to make her way to the door.

James grabbed a pad of the hotel stationary from the table and hastily scribbled down his phone number, tentatively reaching out and handing it to Bella. She folded it and placed it in her pocket, still unsure about whether or not she would discuss his request with Edward.

"Where will you go now?" she asked, her hand lingering on the doorknob.

"I'm not sure. I was thinking maybe California. Some place warm and sunny where I can start over."

Nodding her head, Bella stepped from the hotel room and into the muggy, gray afternoon. Her hands began to shake as she started the car, her anxiety returning full force. Was this really it? Would she no longer have to wonder and look over her shoulder, just waiting for James to try to pop back into her life? Was he truly, genuinely sorry?

~ O ~

Bella was calmer by the time she reached Charlie's house, until she noticed the police cruiser sitting in the driveway and Edward's truck parked hastily against the curb. Before she had time to turn off the car and gather her purse, Edward was at her side, startling her when he wrenched the door open.

"Jesus, Bella. You scared us all to death. Where have you been?"

Knowing he had every right to be angry over her disappearance, Bella stood from the car and wrapped her arms around his waist. Edward stood there stiffly for a moment before returning her embrace, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and touching his lips to the top of her head. They stayed that way for several moments until Bella pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes.

"I went to find James."

"Why would you do that? I told you I'd take care of it. He could have hurt you or…" Edward huffed and rubbed his forehead in agitation. "I don't know. He could have done something bad."

"I needed to do this on my terms, Edward," Bella said, reaching out to grab his hand. "I shouldn't have gone by myself, without telling anyone where I was, but I knew you and Charlie would never allow it. I'm an adult. I need to take care of things on my own sometimes."

Edward squeezed his eyes shut before reaching out to pull her into his arms once more. "I'm sorry. But you should have just told me, talked to me about it. I just want to take care of you." He brushed the hair back from her forehead and looked into her eyes, relieved that she seemed to be okay.

"Did you find him?"

"Yes, but can we just _be_ for a little while? I'm not ready to talk about it. Can we just go home?"

~ O ~

After questioning glances and a stern lecture from Charlie, Edward and Bella loaded Ben into her car and headed towards Edward's house. She promised Charlie that everything was fine and that she would explain things later, but she wanted to talk to Edward first. Bella knew going to see James alone might not have been the best decision, but it was what she needed to do.

Edward was supposed to be her partner and she knew she needed to include him in her decision. She worried about the phone number tucked in her pocket, worried about Edward's reaction to James' request. Her first reaction had been to just take the number, to call James in a few days and tell him that he couldn't see Ben, but Edward was right; they needed to talk about things if their relationship was going to work.

Ben didn't notice the tension in the air and that was comforting to Bella, allowing her to relax a little as she fretted over her forthcoming conversation with Edward. Ben laughed and babbled as he ate his dinner, falling asleep quickly after the meal was finished. Bella held him for a few minutes as he slept, thankful for his presence in her life. She finally placed him in his crib, walking out to find Edward sitting on the couch, waiting.

Bella sank down into the cushions beside of him, snuggling into his side. Edward had been so patient throughout the evening. She could see the questions in his eyes, the tenseness in his shoulders as he worried over what had happened that afternoon, but she needed the time to think things through, to come to terms on her own since her confrontation with James.

"He came here to find me and Ben," Bella said, breaking the silence between them. "He thought there still might be a chance for us to be a family."

When Edward started to reply, Bella squeezed his thigh, hoping he would allow her to continue. She smiled timidly when he nodded his head, a silent acknowledgement that he wouldn't interrupt.

"But then he saw us with you and he knew he waited too long. So he wanted to apologize for everything that happened, to try to explain his reasoning to me. And then he asked…he wants to see Ben."

Bella looked up at Edward, expecting to see anger in his eyes, but his face looked calm, like a blank mask. "I told him I didn't think it was a good idea, that I wouldn't do that to you."

"Bella," Edward said, reaching out to cup her cheek. "You have to do what's best for Ben. It doesn't matter how I feel about it."

"Yes it does," Bella insisted. "You're his…you're his dad," she said, her voice trailing off to a near whisper. She couldn't look Edward in the eyes as she fidgeted her hands in her lap. He'd told her at the cabin that he wanted Ben to see him as a father-like figure, but he'd never said he actually wanted all of the responsibility she was placing upon him.

Edward pulled her into his lap as the tears finally began to leak down her cheeks. He rested his forehead against her neck, placing a kiss just below her ear. "James is his dad, too, just in a different way. He's going to have questions when he gets older. And I don't want him to think I'm standing in the way of him getting to know James, if that's what he wants to do."

"You think I should let James see him?" Bella pulled away to look Edward in the eyes, seeing the sincerity there.

"I think that when Ben gets older, I don't want him to think we were the ones that keep him from his father, to even be able to question that."

"Okay," Bella said, realizing the truth in Edward's words. "I'll call James, but will you be there with us? I can't do this without you."

"Of course. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

~ O ~

Three days later, Bella found herself sitting on Edward's couch, counting down the minutes as she bounced Ben on her knee. Edward was sitting beside her, calm and confident. Her stomach felt like it was twisted in knots and she couldn't seem to stop her hands from shaking.

When there was a knock on the door several moments later, neither of them were surprised by who was standing on the other side. Edward kissed Bella's cheek and assured her things would be fine before moving to answer the door. Bella continued to play with Ben, concentrating on his laughs as he clapped his hands and begged for more bouncing.

She looked up and gave a small smile when James finally appeared in the living room, standing tensely beside of the couch, staring at Ben in awe. Edward nodded at Bella before exciting the room, heading into the kitchen.

"Do you want to hold him?" Bella asked.

James sat down on the far end of the couch, continuing to watch Bella interact with Ben. "He looks just like you," he finally said, a smile gracing his face.

"He has your lips. And ears."

Always inquisitive, Ben began to squirm in Bella's arms, his attention on the stranger sitting on the other end of the sofa. When he began to whine, Bella let him go, watching as he crawled across the space, settling himself into James' lap.

James slowly reached out to touch Ben's face, mesmerized by the small boy sitting in his lap. "Thank you," he said, looking over to give Bella a timid smile. She smiled in return, knowing in her heart that she'd made the right decision.

* * *

**A/N:** One more chapter and then the epi. Thanks to all the readers that have stuck with this story, sending me sweet messages and leaving kind reviews. I appreciate them more than you know. If you PM'ed or e-mailed, I promise to get back to you soon. I've just been a little overwhelmed. :)


	32. What Will You Blossom Into

Thanks to shoefreak37 for being awesome. _"__Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots.__"_

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**Chapter 32: What Will You Blossom Into**

James studied the tiny boy sitting in his lap, marveling that he'd helped to create such a small person. It was one thing to know, in theory, that a child was out there existing somewhere in the world, but it was quite another to hold that child in his lap. Ben continued to smile and coo, staring at James with inquisitive eyes, almost as if he wondered who the new person in his life was.

Edward had stepped into the kitchen for a few moments, not wanting to interfere, but there were only so many things he could occupy himself with. He didn't want to intrude upon James' time with Ben, but he felt awkward leaving Bella alone. Finally deciding enough time had passed, he walked back into the living room, taking the seat closest to Bella.

He felt better about his decision when Bella gave him a smile small, reaching over to take his hand. It was a simple gesture, but it solidified what Edward already knew—that they were a family.

Conversation between the trio was awkward, with long gaps of silence, but Bella was happy that there seemed be to no lingering anger or hostility. It wasn't the perfect situation by far and she was sure there would be bumps in the road, but she had to give Ben the chance to know his father. Even if he didn't understand then, she hoped that when he was older, he would be thankful for the choice she and Edward had made.

James was nothing like Edward had imagined him to be. In his mind, Edward had painted him as the villain, as a man who had chosen his money and material possessions over Bella and Ben. But looking at the young man sitting in front of him, Edward realized things weren't so black and white. James had made some very poor decisions, but Edward could see the remorse in his eyes, in the timid smiles and hesitant movements he made. Edward knew James was afraid, fearful that he'd do or say something wrong that would cause him to be cast from his son's life—the son he was just getting the chance to know.

Though navigating the situation was awkward and would be most difficult for Edward, he couldn't feel anger towards James, couldn't wish him out of their lives. Edward knew that at nineteen, he'd made lots of mistakes, though none as serious as the wrong choices James had made. Edward felt that James deserved a second chance.

The real villains in the situation were the mothers. Mrs. Harris had forced her son to make a choice that would alter his life forever, without worry about the ramifications it would have for her son; she'd only thought of herself and her own selfish desires. Renee had done the same, sending Bella away when she was at her lowest point.

Bella had been lucky, however, because she was coming to a home filled with love and support, to a father that adored her and do whatever he could to make sure she was safe. James didn't appear to have anyone else, and that made Edward feel sorry for him. He couldn't imagine not having a family to lean on. Esme and Carlisle had always been so loving and supportive, even when Edward had done things he knew they did not approve of.

Though the manner was cruel, Edward thought that sending Bella away was the best decision Renee ever made—because it gave Bella the chance to grow into the woman she was meant to be. And without that choice, Edward would have never met and fallen in love with her, would have never gotten to experience the joy in being Ben's father.

Edward saw himself as nothing less. He'd imagined himself in that role for a while, yet had been too afraid to voice his feelings aloud. He didn't want Bella to feel pressured, to feel like they were moving too fast. They were in love and committed to one another; that was all he needed at that point, but he saw rings and houses and more babies in their future. Bella was his forever.

When she'd uttered those words, telling him that he was Ben's dad, Edward had felt such relief and happiness. No matter how much he wanted to be that man, he couldn't unless Bella allowed it. And hearing her say those words, he knew that he was her forever, too. Those words meant more than intimate moments together, whispered promises, or heartfelt I love you's. The bond between a father and son couldn't be broken.

Ben's interest in James soon waned and he began to squirm, wiggling his way out of James' lap. James wasn't sure what to do, looking to Bella for guidance. When she made no moves to stop the baby, James allowed him to settle down onto the floor. Ben crawled beneath the coffee table for a moment before turning in Edward's direction.

Bella saw the sadness flash in James' eye before he masked his sorrow with a smile. Ben grasped the leg of Edward's pants tightly in his hand, tugging and pulling. The loud giggle that erupted from Ben when Edward scooped him up reverberated around the room.

James watched Edward closely, wiping his sweaty palms along the thighs of his jeans. "Thank you," he finally said. "Ben deserves a real dad, and if it can't be me, I'm glad it's someone like you."

~ O ~

"So, California?" Bella asked as she followed James to the door, stepping out onto the porch.

"Yeah, I'd miss the sand and the sun too much to really try anywhere else…and I can't go back to Florida. The surf's nice here, for a visit," he replied with a smile. "And I kind of want to at least be in the same part of the country." James nodded his head towards the living room, hoping that Bella got the message. He wanted to be close to Ben—not so close to make Bella uncomfortable, but close enough that he could hop on a plane and be in Forks within a few hours, just in case Ben or Bella ever needed him.

"I can't imagine your mom was happy to find out you were looking for me. Is that why you can't go home?" Bella had wondered about the Harris family, especially James' mother. He hadn't mentioned them at all, and knowing that he'd waited to find her until he gained a large chunk of his inheritance, she wondered if they were very unhappy with him.

James exhaled a mirthless laugh. "She doesn't know. I'm sure she assumed, but…I haven't talked to my parents in a couple of months. I've just been trying to figure stuff out. My dad lost his campaign and, like everything else, my mom blamed me.

"After you were gone, I was just sort of there. I went to all of her stupid parties and functions, but I just couldn't pretend like I was happy. She said people could tell, that it made it look like there was a problem in our family. And you know she couldn't have someone thinking we were anything less than perfect."

He scoffed and stubbed the toe of his shoe against the worn wood of the porch. "She told me not to come back if I left…so here I am. Maybe I'll give community college a try. I could take a few classes, surf, get a job. I guess I can do anything that I want."

"Good luck. I hope you figure out whatever it is that makes you happy," Bella replied, the sincerity evident in her voice. "I'll e-mail, send pictures, keep you up to date on Ben."

"Don't forget my invitation to the wedding," James said with a smile. He stepped forward slowly and then awkwardly wrapped his arms around Bella's waist. "I'm glad you're happy. You deserve to be."

Bella squeezed him back momentarily and then stepped away. "You deserve to be happy, too."

With a wave and a final goodbye, James headed to his rental car, settling in for the long drive back to Seattle. Edward stepped out onto the porch as James pulled away, holding Ben in his arms. Bella moved closer to him and wrapped her arm around his waist, leaning her head against his chest.

"I can't believe it's over," Bella said. "I always thought he'd come find us, but this isn't how I imagined things would go. I'm glad it turned out this way, though."

"Come on," Edward said, turning and guiding her back inside.

~ O ~

"_And next up to the plate is Phil Dwyer, a rookie recently called up from the Marlins AAA-affiliate in New Orleans. While down in the Pacific Coast League, Dwyer averaged—" _

"Ugh. Turn that off," Bella said, reaching out to grab the remote from the coffee table.

"Hey!" a chorus of male voices shouted when she turned the channel. "We were watching that, Sis!" Seth complained, his mouth full of potato chips. Bella rolled her eyes and threw the remote control into his lap, turning and heading into the kitchen.

With the passage of Edward's birthday and Ben's on the horizon, as well as Charlie and Sue's wedding, Seth had organized a day of male bonding. Edward, Seth, Charlie, and Ben were all wearing Mariners jerseys, watching the other games on tv while they waited for the rest of their group to arrive.

Edward moved from his place on the couch and followed Bella into the kitchen.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, reaching out to snake his arms around Bella's waist.

"Yes, I just…I googled," she replied with a frown, her brows furrowed in annoyance.

"You googled?"

"Yeah, when we saw Phil on tv a couple of weeks ago. I know I said I didn't want to know, but I couldn't stand it. There wasn't much info other than 'Wife's name is Renee,' but that has to be her, right?"

"Probably, but if you want to know for sure, I can get someone to look into it." Edward doubted it would be difficult to find out if a marriage license had been filed in Florida for Renee and Phil. If that didn't give them the information they wanted, he could always hire a private investigator to look into Bella's mother's whereabouts.

"I'm sure it's her. It's kind of a relief. At least I know where she is and I doubt she'll bother me again, especially now."

Though Bella wished for karma to come around and bite Renee in the ass, she knew that life just didn't always work out that way. Renee had gotten everything she'd wanted. She'd gotten Bella and Ben out of the way and married Phil. And Phil was playing in the major leagues. She was sure Renee was relishing all of the attention, the feeling of importance—but especially the money.

~ O ~

Charlie and Sue's wedding was held in the backyard on a warm, June afternoon—a rare sunny day in Forks. The affair was simple and casual, with only their closest friends in attendance. Wanting to emphasize the union of their two families, the only attendants were their children. Bella was happy to stand beside Sue, holding hands with Leah as they laughed at the antics of Seth across the aisle; he held Ben, the ring bearer.

Bella couldn't stop staring at Edward, sitting just a few rows away. She hoped that someday they would have a day just like Charlie and Sue's—filled with family, friends, and love. She laughed when he pulled her away as soon as the ceremony was over, settling her onto his lap as they sat beneath the large oak tree along the back edge of the yard. Edward wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his lips against her neck.

"Do you think we'll have a day like this?" she asked, nervousness making her stomach flutter.

"I hope so," he mumbled, trailing kisses up the column of her throat. Reaching out to cup her cheek, he turned her face until their foreheads rested together. "I want to marry you someday."

"I want to marry you, too," Bella whispered, her hands sliding up Edward's chest, around his neck, and curling in his hair. "And someday…I want you to adopt Ben."

Edward moved his hands up to cup Bella's cheeks, kissing her softly. "Nothing would make me happier."

As Charlie stood nearby, celebrating with his new wife, he watched his daughter from the corner of his eye, smiling and sharing a private moment with the man she loved. Bella was so different from the timid, naïve young girl that had arrived in Forks, pregnant and alone. Charlie smiled, because even though he'd missed out on many moments with his daughter over the years, he was grateful that he'd gotten the chance to watch her blossom into a beautiful, self-assured young woman.

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**A/N:** I have lots to say and tons of people to thank, but I'll save it for the epi, which will post soon. Thanks for reading and sticking with the story. I hope you enjoyed it. :)


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